balanced above circus
clowns and crazy fate
it's just the two of us
always been too late

No excuses
I abandoned
my children
like orphans
to crow nuns
without wings
to fly back again
always in love
I ran away to
another cave
called Betsey
named Karen
then Georgina
then Terry Morse
then Lynette
Finally Jayne.

Since birth
I have been
God ******
by original sin.

No clean slate
**** fresh start.
blackened soul
a Devil's heart.

Full moon ripples in the creek
true young love is never weak
from years long gone I speak
rotting vows will always reek

Keep breathing
your life's breath
don't surrender
one more death.

Now I am alone.
Everyone is dead,
too late to atone
still time to dread.

My dear, Savior
Erase my debts.
make me braver,
admit my regrets.
Anyway let me be
in a peaceful place
where I can see
better time space.

He always sat
in a **** fiat
on His throne
no press, alone,
Godly everything
wears God's ring.
Creation progressed
we all confessed
sins big and small
in the confessional.
I told
of my hold
on my *****
vomited sick
white puke
as a rebuke.
God is dead
shot in the head
with my ***
midnight sun.

Cousin Mike more than a brother over years.
You had *** at 14. I kissed them made them cry.
Wyoming was roaming with eager wet tears.
You broke our hearts and used ***** to die.

He died a long time ago
but lives inside us each
he's every inch we grow
never outside his reach.

A forever after universe
breathe his magic dust
infinite prayer and curse
always doubt and trust.

Hold my hand to the end and beyond
  where souls never break their bond.
  No flesh to navigate lust's spasm.
  We exist as one in our perfection.

He snores and farts in sleep.
Unabashed as we kids creep
looking at Grandpa's books
borrowing them like crooks.
Salinger's Catcher in the Rye.
Fitzgerald's The Great Gatsby.
Bronte's Wuthering Heights.
Steinbeck's The Grapes of Wrath.
Sylvia Plath's The Bell Jar.
My Endless Night's in the Bar
tanned in neon's sunlight
stumble home in moonlight.

Tie me down use whips
endless cruelest licks.
Nail me on wood cross
Life or death dice toss.

Jesus Christ maybe
born in Catholic guilt
an original sin baby
wrap me in sin's quilt.

Numbers I adore
are God's own drunk
******* on the floor
old small and shrunk.

Words keep raining down
honest sweat tears and blood
caught in a riptide I'll drown
in tsunami anonymous flood.

1+1 = Love?
Marriage Dove
Wedding storm
Love never torn.

****** young but old
my naked slave sold
popping bubble gum.
Tempt old men for fun.

Bring your hearts
to a band in a barn
just fits and starts
inside our tiny farm.
**** me dead again
in our ****** sweat
of the mortal sin
without any regret.

She kissed me and
took my last breathe
sent my soul to fire
black and eating death
full of our dead desire.
I love me. I hate myself.

He's an optical illusion
thick glasses confusion
I disappointed him
works mortal sin
he passed away
I die another day.
He buried me
long ago at sea.

I offer my soul to you
for payment that is due.
Lies told were never true.
We drank sorcerer's brew.

I'll see you in the ever after.
We'll drink with laughter.
Remember when you froze
and she broke your nose?

Giant  black green trees
feel the growling wind
purple haze starts to freeze
calls for my dying friend.

Turn the other cheek
would make her weak
I'll  never be forgiven
to madness I'm driven
Katie's estranged hell
lost in my wishing well.

Life is ice and fire
cold as hell desire
words are whips
lashed from lips
in hurt or rage
from next page.

Hating me
set's me free
from the guilt
my cell I built.

It's dark
Eden Park
we ****
we ****
break rules
naive fools
hard times
little crimes
no forgiving
live and let living

some day I hope he sees
what everyone else sees
but now I'm on my knees
broken leg if you please.

Some day I hope he sees
what everyone else sees
but now I'm on my knees
broken leg if you please.

Buried our fun week's end
in work's tilling brutal earth
we reach forever as I bend
pick cotton and giving birth.

I'm a beat up old dog.
My name is just Bill.
I think I'm 76 in your years.
I have stories ugly still.
I know cruelty and kindness.
I've had good luck and bad.
I've been with lovely *******
and some lost in eternal sad.
I'm just a bother in the way
they want to put me down
limping each painful day
hold me under 'til I drown.

I have to find you
tell you I need you
scattered lovers
under life's covers.

Dirtiest line on PG TV.
Ward, weren't you hard
on the ****** last night?

At the corner of Love and Lust
all the broken hearts still bleed
buried in empty graves of trust
never had a chance to find seed.

I rescue abandoned dogs
like my abandoned kids
dissapear in the rear view
and I close my eyelids.

I'm fading with the light.
My shadow takes flight
naked unseen from sight
'til full moon midnight.

Christ, I'm fresh dead
torn from your cross
My God my hope bled
just wicked world loss.
Toss coins in collection
it's too little too late
buy Katie's affection
she ate an empty plate.

Laughter on fire starts.
I promise broken hearts.
Dance naked in the dark
******* in our Eden Park.
Acid tripped to Erie Lake
Wedding a pathetic fake.

I tremble in wonder
born in Coney Island
tunnel of love thunder
in your ****** hand.
We soared heights
kissed coaster skies
******* in frights
I Love Your lies.

My **** loves your need
Until you make it bleed
Giving up the baby seed
Done the final deed.

Countless pieces birth to death
put in place first to final breath.
Paint watercolor of lovers' fight
darkness to love over into light.
Too many shapes don't fit right.
I press harder until they fit tight.

I buy me a drink
laugh as I think
of yesterday's ink
talk to my shrink
asking questions
making sugestions.
Why do I *******?
It is a cheap date.

Curtain parts on birth scene
****** Mary's birth scream
Christ child inside friction
of time and crucifixion.
I love all of humankind
Love is so hard to find.

On cool back burner
resentment simmers
love turns to black
hatred for dinners.

The Final Chapter

I thought I was a boy
runs in summer grass
no classes freedom joy
my lifetime is near pass.
I don't know death's
ugly end of my life
shortness of breaths
hatred of my ex wife.

Who am I
Truth or lie
Do or die
Laugh or cry
Hello or bye
*** or deny
One more final try
Catcher in the Rye.

Cold beds hot hearts
neglected garden dies
Hot hearts hot beds
Eden's garden thrives.

I swear broken promises for
entry to your secret garden
I stab your heart once more
and once again beg pardon.

Born into baffling worlds
With double edged swords
Marching from birth to death
Fighting life to the final breath.

I'd nail my madness to the tracks going West
   seeking freedom wearing a Dandy's NY vest.
   How long can we endure the vastest unknown?
   **** Indians and Buffalo and bury us in stone.

We are never prepared
  shock of wrinkled grey
  House of mirrors distorts
  Roger Bacon has been
  lurking in my shadows
  scared I'll be the next
  in the arms of Christ
  on the list of the dead.
  We just got used to us
  for blood and screams
  old men chasing dreams
  live beyond their means
  bursting at their seams
  play their monkey schemes
  nothing is as it seems.
 Life comes and goes
  lurking in shadows.