I wuz talking to Clyde down the hardware store
(on the phone, coz we don’t go out no more)
‘N I was kickin ‘bout how tired I am of making do,
Specially when it comes to … ya know, the loo.

He said cousin I’ll be right over with a wrench:
You won’t believe it – we got it from the French!
It’s half off for you all, they call it a bidet,
And it won’t even take me twenty minutes to fit it.

Afore I had time to say slow down brother,
He had this new pooper in place of the other
Kinda oddball lookin, but shiny and clean,
With some doodads on it I surely’d never seen:

I gotta run cuz, he goes, but don’t waste no time,
Just settle on down and you’ll do just fine!
I sez but whaddaya – heck, you’ll figger it out bo,
And I hear his truck peel out and go.

Well I positioned myself in the standard location,
And acted as anyone would in that situation.
Then I craned my neck back, looked over and down,
Took a hold of some thingie and fiddled around.

The first thing that happened wuz just-yer-everyday,
But the SECOND –

I Just Don’t Know What To Say.
How that THING took liberties with a Godfearin man
Is more than I can ‘spress, maybe the Devil can.

The next thing I remember I’m out back in the yard
-I think I wanted something heavy for to hit it –
When I heard the Missus comin back from playin cards
Yellin, What’s this Thing?
- I said, Hon, that’s the bidet.

Well she went on for a while, what a fool she took me for
And how come there was so much water on the floor;
But I talked her down nice, explained it pretty well,
And I sez why don’t You relax, and just ease yourself a spell.

And Man, before I ever heard that bathroom door slam,
I was off in my truck right out of Alabam’
But I took my AR-15 and shoved grenades in my pants,
Coz I wanna be ready when we declare WAR ON FRANCE.

there is no limit to prescriptions for improvement
that say the only way to obtain doability - Condition A -
is to first create Conditions B through Z,
the lack of which make Condition A impossible.
But since Condition A is the ability to Do,
there is no explanation of how to Do
B, C, or ........ Z
before A.
Maybe the word “before” is the error.
and all of A through Z must occur simultaneously-
which, since A is logically prior,
means that  B, C, ........ Z are all actually subsets
of A.
Everytime prescriptive language uses a transitive verb,
as in “Create a...” or
“Establish a...” or
“Change the...” or
“Set up a...”
it’s referring to an imaginary world
in which forms of the phrase “To Do”
can affect real life.
There are, though, other verb forms
that are often substituted which are
less unrealistic,
as in “Fight for...” or
“Work towards....” or
“Settle for nothing but...”
the difference being that
these verb forms admit the possibility
of delayed success, compromise,
or even failure.
Then there are a whole other class
of word forms, which are
not really players in the game,
but are stuck back in a previous stage,
using not action verbs but queries
and the mass of confused verbiage
that tends to accompany them; queries like,
“What would it take to...”
We can’t really claim this has ever helped a lot;
diagnosis and treatment of the human condition
has a terrible record of failure.
But on the other hand,
the record of people saying “do this,” “do that”,
and actually succeeding in improving things
is just as lousy. You don’t agree?
Sure there have been some improvements,
we can tentatively agree - for one thing,
there does seem to less slavery now - meaning
the all-out, state-endorsed, I-own-another-human-body
kind of slavery - than there was 160 years ago.
So, who did that?
I’d be laughed right off the planet
if I said Lincoln or U.S. Grant or the 19th century Republicans.
What about people whose motives and actions
were purer? Do you really think
a finite, identifiable group of 18th - 19th-century activists
were the factor responsible for ending
international slavery as an economic institution in the West?
(Why did England ban slave trading before the U.S.,
without having a civil war about it?)
Just aligning yourself with a cause that then
turns out to get done doesn’t mean you caused it.
Remember all those hippie ******* who ended Vietnam?
Or, you may believe no end of slavery ever happened,
too many fine distinctions are being drawn,
and the world goes on as before.
If so, what does that say about To Do?
What to do, how to do it, who or what does it,
and what should we be focusing on - or,
What would it take? What would it COST to have
BCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ, or in other words
How do you A?

the last life-extinguishing black night of the soul
can be commodified.

I sit here in perfect awareness,
which is perfect pain,
which is infinite despair,
and I tell you this:

This Poem is good for one large pizza with onions
on the planet Quiilo.

do you know some one or thing against whom brutal injustice was done?
find an agent

A call to action is not action
Other things that are not action include:
Expostulation rhetoric poetry
Fulmination logic contumely
Proposition dialectic philosophy
Tergiversation polemic and ideology

Actual action, he expostulated, is behavior -
Behavior that acts, he fulminated,
Actually impels or constrains the acts
Of other behavers
This is only done, he propounded,
By applying pressure to weak points
In these others’ safety or security
But acts of violence, he tergiversated,
Only spread or institutionalize violence.

Apart from physical violence, he droned on,
All people have two things they can use
To act with –
Time, and Money.
What you can do with time is specific
To your skills and situation
But what you can do with money
Has exactly two categories:
You can give it,
Or you can withhold it.

You may think withholding is automatic,
And it is, it is; but you are not the one doing it,
It is being withheld from you, in every pay period.
By far your largest charitable contribution
Is to institutionalized violence.
To attempt to withhold your money from these withholdings
Would be enormously risky, painful and destabilizing
In ways that calls to action and other forms of talk never are.
But for one body to impart momentum to another body,
It has to transfer energy, i.e. there must be a cost.

* * * * * * *

On the other hand:
It is currently fashionable to say
That we are not the same person over time
Everything is replaced every few years, personality is a myth
And according to the most advanced thinking
Consciousness is an accident that affects nothing.

In the real world, of course,
I’m the same person I was at age seven
When I first thought of myself as a person;
This knowledge is immediate and irrefutable.
We aren’t the sum total of replaceable parts,
And consciousness for most people is a long-lived thing
Not the space between tick-tocks of a metronome.

This conscious thing concerns itself almost entirely
With exteriors, which are almost the only thing to
Latch onto. But the ultimate **-hum of the exteriors
Compared to the permanent (mortal) consciousness,
Which has no good bad up down or plus-minus incentives
Gets so obvious as to become ridiculous. This is Anti-Action.
Other terms include depression, cynicism, selfishness,
Detachment, solipsism, reality.

But you must care about the others,
Or you are contemptible. Even the Buddha
Said this…right? (It was a long time ago
And there may have been many edits.)
The real and only basis for action is Love,
That is to say you must care about the exteriors
Which is to say the undeniable mechanics of the world
And what happens to those who are acted upon. You Must.

Is this knowledge immediate and irrefutable?

The tannin in tea bags has been proven to reduce swelling (baggy under eyes) and discoloration (dark circles). Either put your used tea bag in the fridge or let it cool down for a half hour. Then damp the tea bag over your eyes for 10-15 minutes. If you're looking for that extra oomph, try using a caffeinated tea bag

If old Mister Morte comes a knock-knock-knockin’ at your door,
Or just won’t lay off the intercom buzzer,
You tell that old misery one or more of the following
And you’ll be just fine.

1. I died at the office.

2. (In Transylvanian accent) Sorry to disappoint you, but I got here first and she’s mine. MINE! BWAA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!

3. Hi! Have you got one minute to talk about the endangered Guatemalan vicuna?

4. Sure, just give me a second to slip out of this body into my true pandimensional form….ssssssssssss……

5. Can’t come right now, me and hubby are quarantined….oh, it’s for him….okay.

when will someone finally say
that they LIKE being quarantined?

There must be somebody -
anchorite,
stylite,
monastic,
isolationist,
people who would rather stay six light years
than six feet apart.

Tell me how impossibly far away from me
you want to be, baby;
ooh, yeah, I'm getting unexcited.