Chels: Poems

August 5th

Chels Mar 2020

I would dream of the day you left
So much that it became present
All of the promises broken
The lies that were spoken
I LOVE YOU
That's what you said right?
Is that really what you meant?
NO
I didn't think so
As the years went by
I watched that "LOVE" fade with time
You reassured me that nothing was wrong
But I could sense something going on
As time went by you kept up the lie
& told me you loved me a billion more times
As I sit back and felt this pain
Today was the day you walked away

Gone

Chels Mar 2020

Gone

Walking away will be the toughest thing I've ever had to do
Just know I never regretted falling in love with you

Growth

Chels Mar 2020

Growth

Who I am without you
Is who I am meant to be

Moving on

Chels Nov 2020

Moving on

You were the reason for my poems
About love and despair
About pain and your curly hair
& the lost love that wasn’t fair
About how much you didn’t care
When I lost my poetry everything be came clear
one things for certain you’re not here
Could it be my writers block is gone
Or have I just found a new song
A song to sing with someone new
But boy have my problems grew
Added baggage from my past
The anxiety is sure to tell me it won’t last
So I lash out like a whip
Frightened & guarded with a gun on my hip

Stuck

Chels Jan 2021

Stuck

She’s stuck
All she feels is pain
It’s driving her insane
Something needs to change

The darkness

Chels Feb 2020

The darkness

Secrets lie behind this skin & bone
How in a room full of ppl do I feel so alone
The darkness surrounds me like a thick layer of wool
My chest gets tighter as the darkness starts to pull
Pulling me under as I fight
Only to be engulfed into the night

The feelings I miss

Chels Mar 2020

The feelings I miss

I want the feeling of warm fingers on my skin
The kiss that leaves you breathless under the moonlight
I want the butterflies in my stomach when you look at me
The goosebumps from the breath on my neck when you hug me from behind
The arch in my spine when you kiss it just right
And your hugs that are a little too tight

#sadness #missingyou #feelings

The hole

Chels Feb 2020

The hole

The deeper I dig
The darker it gets

Uncertainty

Chels Jan 2021

Uncertainty

I tend to overthink can you handle that
Due to past experiences communication is where I lack
I try do do better to let you in
But it’s like the universe didn’t want me to win
My heart use to be so trusting so pure
I deserved to be loved a lot more
Will things work out how could one know
If I never learned to let things go

Untitled

Chels Feb 2020

Untitled

I watched you love me
I watched you stay
one thing I couldn't stand was watching you drift away
Your love was patient
Your love was kind
your love drifted in due time
I watched you hurt me
You watched my pain
I continued to love you everyday
I watched you struggle
With what to say
I only wanted to hear that you would stay
You didn't want to
I couldn't make you
that's what caused me so much pain
I do love you
I still care
But to watch you fall out of love
Just isn't fair

Would it be easier

Chels Jan 2021

Would it be easier

Would I make life a little easier for you if I wasn’t here?
If I loosened my grip and pretend I didn’t care
Would it be easier if I disappeared
Gone without a trace so there was no one you needed to help?
I want you to know that if my depression wins
I fought with everything I had
While waking up every morning painting on a fake grin
Would life be easier if you didn’t have to worry about my mental state
Unable to sleep at night worried about what I’d might say
Everyone told me things like this take time
Eat,pray,love, & stay on the grind
23 years of my life I still feel the same
Lack of motivation no determination to do a thing
How does one make it go away?

— The End —