Call me Prometheus and show me where the rock is so I can lie down
Chain me and bring a hungry eagle
I didn’t give any fire but to myself
I couldn’t help it, I was cold
It feels it was set up this way from the day I was called into existence
Even feeling that, is cause for punishment
Call me Prometheus, and my anxiety an eagle
Give me religion so I may be chained and knowledge of who I am so I may be ****** either way
People say religion is good for your mental health, but for me, it’s not. I’m bi and trans and I can’t help but accept myself and that causes tension with my beliefs. The best advice anyone has is to go to a church where they’ll say it’s fine but if I did I’d just worry I was lying to myself and it wasn’t fine and I’m going to hell. I don’t mind living, but that I exist means something’s gonna happen after I die and I’m technically in control. But I want to live my life for me, which means loving who I love and transitioning, which is a sin. It feels so unfair I was made to exist, especially like this, and I’m supposed to live for my God either way, and I’m just going to hell if I don’t and even feeling and thinking about this is sin.
Edit: when I wrote this I was still catholic. I’m Christian but not catholic anymore because I realized Catholicism was making me bitter and hurt like this. I’m at peace with myself and my beliefs now, my perception on things or whatever might not be completely evolved, or maybe they never will be, but neither are causing my harm like in the past