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Do you pity or envy a world
That has cut off its calluses
Do you love or fear a world
So gentle against the wind
That a ***** would bleed
That a pinch would twinge

I pity and fear it,

Thus:

Here I am, hiding
In a boat of poetry
In the strait of obscurity
Between two oceans of fear

Between
The old world of joyous suffering
And
The new world of unbearable peace

Trying to marry the water of lively green
And the deadly blue

As I tie the old waves to the new
I set aflight an echo through the wind-
In the shape of a dove, a clarion call:

"Don't renounce your past
But accept it with pride,
Lest you be judged for what you have done,
And never
What you could, would, and will do!"
Sentient Dreams: My Poetry Anthology:


This is the manuscript to my amazon vanity press poetry anthology: "Sentient Dreams" that I have now decided to just share it here digitally. All of the poems have been published here on HP at certain points of time anyway.

Almost all of the poems are from October 2017-July 2019.
Please feel free to share! :)

I don't think I will be adding to this specific anthology in the future. (Except three more poems that will be updated later.)
---
The Echo
By: Yitkbel Yue Xing ****
Sep. 13, 2019, 10:48 a.m.
Maybe your jokes aren't that funny..
But I laugh anyway..
So now you think you have got the way to my heart...
Maybe I modify the thoughts in my head..
When I tell you what I like..
So now you think you can certainly make me happy...
Maybe I dont miss you that much...
When I tell you my feelings resonate with that melody..
But now you think I think of you most of the time...
The raw truth of how fake people can be..
False prophet
Faith confounded

Lust akin to genocide
Indifference feigned innocence

Thirst for treachery
Disregard for rationale

Release me from captivity
Free me from passivity.
Written in September 2019
Pick up the pieces love, the crumbs of yourself.
Put them together and create a new you.
I know it's been hard and that is life, you know.
So be strong and pick yourself up and let's go!
Here i lie on mount of smoldering rock
here i wonder in poems of silverlight.
Of gods and titans i lilt
of elves and mountain folk i write
of nymphs and elven maidens
i play this lyre
of forests and deep blue seas i dream.
Last of my name
last of my kin
lost in my lay.
I Drink You

hard as steel
you cut my throat
as a razor wheel going down
until the blood collects
in a pool
in my stomach

I drink you
frozen as an ice-cube
until I'm freezer burn
and my tonsils
turn to icicles
and scrape my gizzards
destroy my innards
until they're broth
with foam
on top

I drink you
as a cyanide capsule
because I never want to
give you the satisfaction
that you destroyed
my will to live
reduced me down
to a pill
I Peered Out Of The Room Windows,
I Was In This Desolate Guesthouse,
It Was A Comfortable Rest House,
And Here I Was In Anticipation,
Angel Or Whosoever Was Awaited,
Will She Pop Into My Vision Here Too,
Was It Only A Seasick Mind's Illusion?

Was All That Really Just An Illusion,
Thinking This I Prepared For Bed,
Then I Felt A Flute Was Playing,
Looked Into Sound's Direction,
All I Saw Then Was Foggy Night,
My Own Reflection Was Also Visible,
Slightly If Not Entirely Can Be Seen.

I Recalled The First Night At The Sea,
She Did Appear On The Towed Raft,
A Beautiful Mermaid I Had Seen,
Now I Did Remember It Clearly,
My Face Was No Longer Mine,
Yes It Was The Beautiful Face Of Hers,
She Wasn't Sad As I Did Remember.

She Was Smiling So Very Divinely,
Her Brown Eyes Stared So Cutely,
More Divine Felt She Was Really,
I Thought That It Was So Early,
My Pocket Watch Showed Three,
I Took My Eyes Off And Went To Bed,
Then & There She Was Lying For Me.

I Again Let My Mind Play Games,
Never Did Imagine Turning Mad,
Now I Was Not Feeling As Bad,
Neither I Wanted To Break It,
Nor It Felt Like One Anymore,
This Was The Dream I Loved To Live,
As If The Boon Was Presented To Me.

She Smiled As I Sat On The Bed,
I Asked Her, "Are You Real?"
"Yes, Just As Your Thoughts,"
I Then Stared At Her Lips,
She Then Touched Me Again,
Hands As Soft As That Night At Sea,
I Just Felt Like Opposing Her Touch.

I Blankly Smiled And Thought,
'My Thoughts Are Surely Real,'
Then I Just Let Her Guide Me,
The Moon Shone So Bright,
It Just Felt Really So Very Right,
Resigning I Just Let My Illusion Win,
It's Love We Were Sharing, Not A Sin.
This is the 4th episode of The 'Angel?' Saga

https://hellopoetry.com/collection/13567/the-angel-saga/

My HP Poem #848
©Atul Kaushal
Now I reached the lands again,
Still dazzled and confused I was,
From the encounter with an Angel,
Oh how she had filled my twilight,
Unable to forget her divinely touch.

Magical touch had enchanted me,
Able to recall it from the voyage,
I stumbled when disembarking,
Oh it was the first time for me,
My thoughts would last along.

After so many days at the sea,
I planned of bathing properly,
Her illusion tricked me thereto,
Oh how her traces remained on,
Facing mirror, I stood perplexed.

Still unable to accept the reality,
I longed for that night to repeat,
Heart beats Angel in each beat,
Life staged a drama too crazy,
Unwilling to take the reality.

My body carries the vestiges,
I turn crazier with each bath,
Her lips' traces keep appearing,
Driving me mad is her memory,
God! Bring her to life once more.

I had my powers as a commodore,
I sent for the captain of my ship,
"What bothers you, my commodore,"
And so he asked of me kindly,
Then I told him of her traces.

Smiling he told me yet again,
"I had told you to get married,"
I agreed this time and nodded,
"Alright, search for me a bride,"
Going outside, he smiled plainly.
To everyone I recommend reading the first part firstly at the following link http://hellopoetry.com/poem/265976/angel/ so that you may relate to this one better.

On my fellow poets' suggestions, I continued the story of the sailor who had encountered the Angel-Mermaid.

End of part 2/7 of the 'Angel?' saga.

To be continued...

Read 'Angel?' saga part 3/7 here:
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/1154639/angel-surely/

Read 'Angel?' saga part 4/7 here:
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/1166821/angel-illusion/

Read 'Angel?' saga part 5/7 here:
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/1170623/angel-not-again/

Read 'Angel?' saga part 6/7 here:
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/1179276/angel-forever/

Read 'Angel?' saga part 7/7 here:
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/1182887/angel-ultimately/

My HP Poem #766
©Atul Kaushal
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