Do you like my hot rod?
Came straight from the furnace
In fact, it was so hot that
Little tinman, with his rod,
Was jealous.

Little tinman, little tinman
Didn't like that my rod was hotter than his
Ohh little tinman, little tinman
Wasn't having any of this

So little tinman thought up a plan
He struck my rod, with his poking stick
Oh how it crumbled, straight from the furnace
Cause little tinman had enough of this

But as he struck my rod, his hand slipped
Little tinman lost his poking stick
And Little Kitty grabbed it in his mouth
Here kitty! Here kitty!

The cat brought the stick to me
As little tinman watched in horror
Good kitty! Good kitty!
And little tinman was struck with terror

I hate to see little tinman frettin'
So I gave him back his poking stick
It was at this moment he grew still
Oh no, I think he's broken!

For a while they stood from afar
observing from distance your rising star
It was only a matter of time before you fell
Got shot out the sky and straight into hell
They tell stories about you, about that sin
Though you merely dipped your feet,
when others were diving in
The fly ruined the ointment, and blotted the sun
A pitiful end to a story that's barely begun

So now you are cold, afraid and alone
But a heart is of flesh, and not of stone!
Life is so fragile, so easily lost
We tire so easily, at an unfortunate cost
Some things stick in the mind, but really are gone
You recite it over and over again like a song
It lives in the heart, and causes you pain
It tore down your home, and drove you insane
Like a perpetual rain, it falls and falls
and will till the end, when the trumpet sound calls

What I do in darkness comes out in the light
I then have to explain what crawls out my heart
My lips incriminate me and my tongue utters false things
I know what to do yet I can't do it
Actually it's more about what not to do when alone
I do it because I can and to exercise my freedom
I'm stuck in the past so I wait for wisdom
The walls start to talk saying they don't know me
As I sit by myself smoking and letting things go

Growing up I was an obedient child
I did what I was told with a curse under my tongue
Forced into slavery I fought on several fronts
The school, the home life and the battles in my head
I never thought I would make it into adulthood
Now my life is beginning to have meaning
I see there was hope in misery
And the pain that comes with discipline
But then I see the uncontrolled
Provoking me to madness, testing my cool
At night I fly into a hellish rage
Though before their eyes I remained calm
Losing sleep and peace of mind
Because the free abuse their rights
I admit I don't know what goes on in their heads
When they bully me for a laugh
I accept I am the brunt of their whim
For I know that in the end I will be happy
Those who are in mourning will be comforted
I hold to that and am not weary
So when I cannot sleep at night
I pray and know I am in loving arms

I remember times long ago
We'd watch the sun setting slow
We held hands and made wishes
As the day drew to a finish
The reddening star was our sign
And for a moment I felt benign

Life is never black or white
I see colours within my mind
Anger is hot, patience is blue
I'm grey, feel nothing without you
I'd love to have you in my sight
You were my favourite love, my light

The other day I walked the track
As the sun warmed my back
I walked past the place we met
And I felt no pain or regret
I remembered the times long ago
I moved on and let go

Enamoured and stricken
by love out of nowhere
It started with a dare
Now I'm writing letters of care
I playfully write them
for we are an item
Thus I'm yearning for nothing
and have no need of wings

As the world turns around us
we satisfy our lust
Blind to the mess
of others' distress
This house is so nice
yet I'm starting to think
we live like mice
in hidden vice

My friend,
I must be honest and lend
you the truth in my hand
The letters I send
are not entirely honest
for you are my end
I hope you understand
You're all that matters

Your eyes are deep waters
Without you I'm burning
The way I bend for you
is stomach-turning
The day we fell in love
was the day I stopped learning
Thus I am cursed
by longing and yearning

I dwell in empty graveyards
Where my soul is at rest
Away from all the vanity
I feel a connection with the dead
Where spirits listen
To my voice

I feel their presence
They hear the noise
Of proud human
Laughs and moans
And of feet
Stomping their bones

Haughty eyes
Having fun
Head in the clouds
Like the mid-day sun

And I don't want to hinder their progress
How their hair shines
Their skin is perfect
And their time is now

But if there's someone else out there
With lowly eyes
Wish you were here with me
Don't wanna be alone no more
We can be wise
And go to paradise

Do not be fooled
The highlights I show
are not who I am
I know nothing at all

They fell from the sky
and crowned for a while
my head with a smile
the blessings rained down

I laboured for them not
Do not think me wise
I dug in the ground
by chance found a prize

Sometimes you score
and sometimes you miss
The tables will turn
to remind me of this

That I am but a worm
Naked or dressed
blessed or degraded
I am but a worm

Holding the past in my hand
It slips through my fingers like sand
I grasp at the grains as they fall
They form on the ground as I crawl

In the present I'm blind and numb
I consume the past to the crumb
Flashbacks make me next to insane
I only ever remember the pain

I surrender to my fate
As I drift off to sleep when it's late
I surrender
I surrender

These days ain't what they used to be
And all that's left is tired old me
The wine and smokes don't help at all
Gotta face myself before I fall

I surrender
I surrender

I relive another memory
As I float on a raft out at sea
I hold the past in my hand
As it slips through my fingers like sand

I can't see around the bend, but I can look around
Inside my mind no remembrance to be found
If I could look backwards, not in hindsight but in replay
Perhaps then I would remember and learn from each day

But I can't
Nothing's sorted
All my memories are distorted
I can't control them, especially the ones I'm trying to

Forget
Drown out
Sleep off
Part with

I dwell in the shadows, I refuse to see
Yet I'm frequently bothered by some memory
It's hard to know what's true and real
When in a moment you can feel

Pride and cheer
Then blinding fear
Sadness here
Anger there
Did it really happen, should I care?

The world's a stage, it's all a show
Memories come, and memories go
Nobody's perfect
I can't pretend
That what I know didn't happen
I must be stronger
I must get you off my shoulders
I want to grow
And be at peace with what I know

Think of all the souls
You light up like coals
With your harsh growling vocals
And the melodic instrumentals

Like a dragon you yell
Crying like you're in hell
The stories you tell
Not purely to sell

And I lament with you
And your words are true
With the people I'm through
Nobody understands me like you do

Hello's and goodbyes
Are what I'm good at
The stuff in the middle
I'm trying to work on

I don't want to judge
And I can't always tell
What's passive aggression
Or what's about me

Fighting over the truth
Or your point of view
Is paradoxal
Cause truth is love

But people are fire
And ice and bipolar
They want to make war
And feel like the victor

So I disengage
And say goodbye
Though there are times
I can't even do that

Strong men and women circle around,
clever with words, nimble and sound.
They race to a goal, no one can stop,
obstacle or not, they jump and they hop.
I was once like this, but now I'm not.
By webs strings and chains, I am caught.
My legs are not nimble, my eyesight is poor;
I rely on the strength of others as I walk out the door.
Words flow through my mind, then out they go;
I cannot retain all that I know.
My filter is clogged, purification is slow.
I'm still stuck on you, so how can I grow?
Don't think too much of me, is all that I ask.
For I didn't do too much good in the past,
yet if you think wrongly of me, I will not relax.

Am I me
Have I lost my glow
I can see
a dark shadow
Chasing me
My girl,
where is she?
These lips, have kissed lies
and the sighs and the cries
Ring in my ears
Mocking me
What is this fear,
fear in me,
my girl,
where is she?

Mortals...
So susceptible to demons
Go ahead, place your trust in one
Pour your love and faith into a human
As soon as you turn they show their claws
Once they take off their mask you'll be horrified
at how a person can have many faces
Your reward will be knives in your back
and the mockery will come to no end

No, do not trust people
Their religions will fail you
Their sciences will drive you to madness
Their products will intoxicate you
Nothing they say is a fact
Arguing over truth is pointless
What is a human, might I ask
A temporary life form, nothing more

The sons of God know who they are
The daughters of God best be on guard
The world will do all in its power to steal their crowns
and leave them flailing about in their own blood and *****
There are those who say they are chosen
whilst gnawing and clawing the righteous
Hypocrites and evildoers show no fear
They steal and **** without remorse
while the righteous try not to judge

When you feel nothing has any meaning
Let everything fall and set the way it must
Mortals are not to live forever
The ones that do will no longer be people
but Gods
And the LORD will smash the gods on earth
all in one day
And the king will separate the two types of people
for this I hope and pray

I walk around with my eyes glued to the ground
I ask how you are, you order me around
You taught me patience by the suppression of tears
That lesson alone was worth the wasted years

Life's not a competition, I don't care if I win
You taught me to be a good loser, yet my victory's within
On the outside I'm weak and faint
On the inside I have the tolerance of a saint

If only you were willing to learn
If only you saw your misdeeds, and were willing to turn
The battle is stagnate, this war can't be won
I suffer so much because of what you have done

I don't want you to come to harm
I can only hide from your cruelty and charm
I will put up with you, though we're like fire and wood
You burn me for fun, I light up for the greater good

I struggle to explain what I'm witnessing
What difference does it make, when you don't have a voice
It would be nice to talk to a human being
The lonely life I live, is only partially by choice

I can't let go of this feeling I have
It's one I've had since I was a child
Of the need to brace for constant attacks
Like being surrounded by scorpions and snakes in the wild

I come from a narcissistic family and it shows
I bear all the classic symptoms and traits
Evading reality is all I know
A lonely life is all that waits

My heart jumps at sudden noises
From a leaf rustling in the wind when I'm walking
To new messages, to new voices
It's always about me they're talking

Still I hope that in the end
All those people who betrayed me
Will change and be my friends
And we'll live as a family

To live one must have drive
But I'm not sure I have the strength anymore
I'm like a car that has no fuel
Sitting inside for a while
I used to run on ***** oil
and it's damaged some of my inner components
I need a good person that can invest in me
To fill me with gas, and take care of me
Otherwise it's off to the junk yard
For I don't think I can start again on my own

The ground was never solid
No shoulder to lean on or hand
to guide or help us understand
Just run to escape the quick sand
Such is the life of man
I'm tired of running
Through no man's land
Wading through a pile of mud
Dodging mosquitos and poison ivy
The rashes and bites make me bleed
Yet I believe someday that flowers will bud
By our blood
Then out of the crud the earth will be blessed
By the remnant seed all who confessed
That our sacrifice was not in vain
And those who heard them took heed
And forsook their lust and violence and greed
Then every man will live by the fruit of his deeds

Inside me a hole
I see the abyss
And the bottomless pit
Surrounded by life

There's evil within me
The desire to prove
The desire to ****
Whoever I choose

Whether I sit
Or the wall I hit
I get flooded by hurt
I have no wit

I've closed the lid
I've shut the door
On what I did
Want to think no more

Poetry
is heaven sent
Not easy to write
something magnificent
It's pretty late
into the night
I close my eyes
to acquire sight
I want to write
my mind is still
I have to fight
the forlorn will
to end the night
and simply say
opportunity will knock
some other day
but I'm past the age
where opportunity knocks
I need to think
outside the box
and be myself
write something that rocks
or at least
something that doesn't ****
I need to break
this writer's block
I look at the ceiling
Look down at the clock
Stare into nothingness
as boredom mocks
the writer in me
Just my luck
This poem is about nothing
who gives a ****

I want to say a thing
But nothing will come of it
There is no power in my words

So I feel hurt
Yet I don't blurt
I leave my speech unheard

I fight against myself
What for I cannot tell
Inside two warring birds

I don't have lavish dreams
I am no wanna be
Just want serenity

I'm like a boulder or tree
There is nothing to see
Like every human being

Like any other freak
Exhaling as I speak
There is nothing to see

What do you seek
I'll shut my beak
There is nothing to see

My roots are shallow, not so deep
I do not sow, nor do I reap
I'm skin and bone, not earth and stone
I do not own the world alone
There is some insecurity in me
I am free but to a degree
Waiting for the next panic to arrive
for flexing manic men to rise
to drag us to another place
where they will tag the human race
on the forehead, on the hand
or you can't buy bread, understand?

Not many men wear skirts
but many women wear pants
When women and children are leaders
no one is happy
Men worshipping idols
Women chasing money and independence
Turning our backs on the Lord
Afraid and in dismay
Men kneel before their mothers wanting to go back
into her arms to **** on her ****** once again

Men are catty and ready to fight for no reason
Women have *** with so many partners it's disgusting
We have ****** men who want wives but can't find one
Women are all on social media with multiple accounts
A successful marriage is like winning the lottery these days
The churches are being undermined and attacked by government

A government that labels Christians mentally ill
and medicates them till they are complacent
Obey and you're free
Forced to lie by the liars
It's what they're doing to the saints
Rubbing dirt in the eyes of God's children
I am against the world and the system
I am perpetually prepared for martyrdom
My heart's treasures are in heaven not on earth
They hated the the old prophets they hate me too

Where is the future
Don't trust it
I'm good with what happened
What good is it for

Where is the past
It's tangled by emotions
I see it again and again
At different angles

Can't sleep
I see the past
I live it once more
In my dreams

Can't sleep
The future is frightening
I see it once more
In my dreams

Can't trust the past
Can't trust the future
Only the present
I feel incomplete

Look at the power
Feed it once more
The sadness and sorrow
Like a black hole

The tongue is a rudder
Its words are like fire
Sparking imagination, spreading

Rumours cut
deeper than knives
Ruining lives

Label attached
Like a parasite
Staining the white

No one will touch
A leprous man
What hope for such?

The fool walks about
Pointing the finger
Exposing another

What will he do
when he is stripped from power
and stands fore his maker?

Don't be too humble, or you'll get what you need
The school of hard knocks will be the life you lead
Until you groan and moan about your cruel fate
And people will take and eat what you should have ate.

Don't be too aggressive, or you'll get what you want
And full of good things you'll sneer and taunt
Until you realize you lived too fast
And choked on life and cannot last.

I have seen those who take pride in their faithlessness
When the going gets tough, they crumble.
I have seen those who take pride in their faithfulness
How they look at others and grumble.

Some say it takes time, but that is not entirely true;
When you eat food, time will not chew for you.
Some look at depth, some see only length;
Enlightenment and ignorance both can be used for strength.

A good feeling is not a trophy one puts on a shelf.
Every moment I am working on myself.
I have no need for naysayers or proponents
I simply acknowledge my good and bad moments.

Fix the bad, then do good;
It's human nature, as it should.
Some see only what's nice, some see only what's vice
Yet once you uncover a memory, no need to do it twice.

Friends close, enemies closer;
they haunt my nights and days.
As much as I hate to admit it,
there's wisdom in this phrase.
A good person travels undetected,
they do not lie in wait.
They do not leave a mark on you
but leave you to your fate.
An evil person will try to latch onto you
like a parasite;
they bite and sting, they tear your wings
and keep you up at night.
You try to rip them out your chest,
and put the trophy on your shelf,
only to feel like you lost a better version of yourself.
A spiritual war we're in, there is no cure for it;
we're continually attacked and mocked and bit
These forces we can't outwit - only outlast.
Demonic armies with their hoards keep coming back for more
Sending people into our lives that shake us to our core.
When will it end? How will it end?
A question I often ask
What's the point of striving on
Should just wear a mask.
All the pressure on a human being
abused and crushed, to dust we return
from whence we came, crying again.
The tears burn, and yet we learn
there's nothing to do with evil but turn.

I have no future
Never had one
I just obeyed others' voices
And did what I was told

My acts of rebellion
Self-harm and drugs
Act according to flesh
Satisfy my appetite

I stay away from women
Because that is what I desire
And I learned early on
That I cannot have what I want

Too much time alone
No one to trust
But I'd stick my hand out
Into fire to pull you out

My life is a sacrifice
I am a target
For people to point at and cast into the dirt
To inflate their ego

I see evil people
They're the ones that abused me in school
And set themselves above me
By twisted right and authority

I pray for vengeance
I want revenge against the wicked
Yet deep down I hope my curses fail
I try to forgive

How much longer must I endure
The pleasures of this world don't entice me
The riches and glamour are not for me
The pain in my soul has infected my body

I wake up and eat
Take the morning commute
Stop and go
News radio
I get in the mind frame
The dusty factory mood
Cleaning and sweeping
Working the machine
On the outside I'm in keeping
with the routine
But Inside I'm weeping
Wanting to go to sleep
What goes on in my mind
I cannot say
Nobody ever stopped
to listen anyway
Just cleaning and sweeping
Washing the grime
I wish I talked to you more
But I never had time
Now I feel cheap
I can buy you bread
But I could never help with
what goes on in your head

The joy of life
never faded for me
There's so much beauty
in all I see
The love in me
is heaven sent
I give my love
to you, the recipient
My love is pure
Don't want anything in return
For you dear reader
my love does burn
There's so much love
It can fill a sea
I pass it on
through poetry
In love I hope
For love I live
Whatever you need
I will try to give
To you I give
This heartfelt smile
so we can share
our joy a while

Don't want to stick out
Dumb is the word
I will be secure
as part of the herd

But the hunter is hungry
He makes no sound
His aim is steady
He sends out his hound
To gather his prey
Keeps his nose to the ground
But why butcher me
when others abound?

I don't want to go
where conflicts unfold
Wanna live in my head
Avoid doing what I'm told
alone in the dark
in the fiery cold
I've forsaken my flesh
which once shone like gold
Which once was so bold
is now shrivelled and old

There is a way forward
A spirit renewal
And in time's hands
my flesh will shine like a jewel
For I have suffered
but I learned and now see
my body will recover
using the right remedy
I will again dance
to the tune of a melody
when my soul recovers
and I'm holy and free
Everything will be restored
And I'll be called happy
And my mind will come back to me
In this there is beauty

If there's a reason to envy the wicked, it's this
They're well aware life is glorious
Their lives are bliss, no fear instilled
Their cups and bowls are always filled
They get what they want, live by do as thou wilt
They grow old, and die knowing no guilt

I am not like this, terror all around
Deep in my heart, nervous fatigue is found
They lock me up without answering why
They'd shoot me down if I tried to fly
They lean on me, then watch me fall
Before stepping and walking on me in front of all

And so I'm stuck, trapped in fear
While my enemies mock and cheer
As if pain and persecution is a jest
Though my life is gruelling, I can attest
Their hearts are hardened, mine's like clay
I adapt to suffering, they run away

Achieve the impossible
Retrieve what you lost
Let trust take the reigns
Behold and believe
Cherish the signs
They will lead you to truth
Leave doubt behind
Surrender to light
Take hold of our words
They are yours to behold
For better or worse
They need to be told
Clutch them in your hands
You can understand
And be freed like a bird
You can learn from our past
Delight in your senses
Savour each sentence
Seize what you like
Trust what you see
For wisdom and love
Are reflected in poetry
And being a poet
To me is a dream

I see demons everywhere
I am fragile and infirm
Can't look you in the eye
Lest you find the worm

An insecurity to exploit
A breach in my wall
All so you can laugh
And feel ten feet tall

My back is bent down to the floor
There is no pride left in this soul
Who keeps casting these curses on me
How does one fight an enemy unseen

My God won't touch me
My dreams are filthy
My brain is rotting
My mouth is frothing

Their eyes were fearless
They spared no whip
Their hearts were cold
They've got me in their grip

Most people have no idea how they affect others
The stench of their cruelty long lingers
I am a target and that is my fate
I must be patient and wait

In my youth I have followed
A heart of darkness
Over the edge
And into the water

In my youth I have rebelled
And followed my instinct
Into a grave
Of my own doing

Let me forget my youth
And feel something new
Don't want to relive again
A past full of pain

Even now I have no future
Can't make plans
Can't do anything alone
For I was brought up a slave

There's no use in remembering
If I went back
I could change nothing
Wish I could forgive

Yet even the darkest cloud
Can end with the rainbow
I'm hoping for something good
To come my way

In a world of half-truths
Where everyone likes to argue
And prove themselves right
To win every fight
Life is a game to some
But I feel too dumb
To play like the devil
I'm not on their level
I avoid the bread of evil
To feast on holy gravel
For I have rocks in my gut
Stomach pain keeps me in a rut
I recall things I said
When I'm lying in bed
They said I rock the boat
So they threw me overboard
To sever the cord
Between me and the LORD
Now I'm sinking like lead
Nearly dead
I can feel the compression
But here's my confession
Though I've been tossed out to sea
And they celebrate victory over me
I've become more intelligent
My desire for truth is pertinent
On the inside I'm full of glee
And my soul is happy

Peace? There is no peace! To those who know no disgrace, you have no trace of praise. I have chosen my side, I don't step out of line and I will hide and bide my time until my moment to shine. I used to think speaking truth is something to be braved, to open the eyes of the unsaved. Now I'll leave arguments about truth to the youth. Through disgrace is my salvation, for it I will receive praise. For I stood for good when others would not. I lay my life down each day, and I carefully watch what I say in case it might turn my allies away. As for my enemies, I wish I could pray for them and we could learn from each other but they hide from me so let them burn in hell.

My good vibes, you cannot steal
I'll close my eyes, and try to heal
My shattered soul, my broken heart
Behind closed doors, is where I'll start

The public life yields much reward
But I much prefer my private life
You can knock, you can shout
I don't need you, I'll lock you out

What is life, but one huge test
Work is for gain, home is for rest
The path of life is difficult and slippery
For one addicted to technology

How quick they are to show from outside in
But won't confess from inside out
Half-truths and lies, a fake story
Conceals how they fell short of God's glory

Technology and junk food are highly addictive
*** and drugs, is this why we live?
Impulsive desire, is this what it's about?
Do it responsibly, or toss it out!

I need to change before I'm in too deep
I need rest, not just sleep
I can't always take what life brings
I must let go of certain things

I try so hard
to control my mind
It goes where it pleases
thinks whatever it wants
It usually goes back
to traumatizing events
I have to refute them
and get back on my feet

There will come a time when life becomes undying
The lion will close his mouth and sleep in his den
The raven and the crow will be silent that day
For lack of prey the wolf will become thinner
For dinner he'll eat herbs and grass
It'll come to pass that the bear will rest with the doe
The flow of the river will quench their thirst
Their stomachs will burst not with food but with joy
And man will no longer employ weapons of war
Their girls and their boys will no longer weep
They will keep their parents close to their hearts
The darts and the bullets will no longer fly
The sky will sing and the earth will know rest
It will bless mankind with the tree of life
Strife will cease and good will be the wine
You and I will dine with our ancestors of old
This story is told and written, it is coming and sure
For those who endured through this fallen time
With hearts that remained pure

There are certain corners in my mind I can't go
Memories of the past distorted and concrete
When I try to open my mind
To let love inside me
They pop up
Obstructing

I run, dash and dodge around these memories
I try to focus on the good times
As hard as I try I can't forget
And if I try to face them
I get eaten alive
Then spat out

They say I should leave the past behind and move on
That I should have more compassion on myself
But it's the way I am and can't change
Some scars are simply eternal
And won't go away
Until the end

I have stepped away from pride
And exposed my flaws
Revealed my thoughts
Retracted my claws
Some see that and pounce
Go in for the ****
Not an ounce of respect
To humiliate me at will
I wish you would remain flaccid
At the sight of my kindness
And retract the member
Where your sacral chakra is
I have softened my heart
Mushy and red
Not for you to tear apart
Until I am dead
But for you to learn
That you are naked as well
Unless you turn
Your life will be story I tell
While I sit in heaven
And you burn in hell

I cast the distractions aside and begin a process
Of untwisting the ball of tangled thoughts
Can't sleep, it's gotten late
Just want to think straight

I'm so very mad at the world
I hurt myself today
I nearly coughed out a lung and hurled
From smoking and drinking to feel ok

How come the wrong people stick in the human mind?
How come bad events, most unkind circumstances float in the head, while the good is well hidden, difficult to find?
Why is it so hard to rest, sleep and properly unwind?

I'm in for it now, she's in my head
I can't make bread, thinking of lead
Through her brain, I wish she was dead
Things like this better left unsaid

There are many people who hurt me but I don't want revenge
I'm not deranged, I just want them to feel remorse
I'm venting, it'll come in due course
For now I must be patient

It's probably best to not start,
you'll feel better if you just sit your **** down
they say
but to me,
that's when the demons come
and that's when you have to start again

The closest thing I know to heaven is inside me
But I can't open my heart to just anyone
They'll betray me
I dance and sing in my mind
On the outside a cold demeanour
I'm happy but it never shows

And they tell me to quit
But my fate has been written
There is no deviation
I go where the wind takes me
For I have no say in what's true
I see what I see, and that's that

You can see it in his eyes, his lips, face
When he leave a person, a place
He doesn't know how to mask it, he must be careful
who he lets into his space
Everywhere he goes, he leaves a trace
Emotions rub off on others
And he's a disgrace

Broken and dead
put him in a box
Bury him six feet deep
Cover him with rocks
Let him sleep
Among stopped clocks
Such is their wish, though death never knocks

He has been dropped from a height
He appears to have flopped
Yet in the Lords sight
He is mighty and bright
He will reap the crops
And the fruit of his work
When he outlives those that smirk

I was never good with women
When they choose me, it freaks me out
Why me? I'm disgusting

So I kissed the one at arms reach
While the one farther away cried
And I realized the error

That I love the one far away
As I tried to warm up to her
She cried even harder

The one I kissed went away
I realized I lost them both
I was never good with women

Pain caused by misunderstanding
It's what I gained from mishandling my life.
When fear turns my stomach and I feel hot,
I try to imagine I'm someone I'm not.

Pain makes me lose control and twitch.
Is there a soul who can get me out of this ditch?
I've tried fighting, I've bloodied my fists;
I tried biting my tongue, but the pain persists.

I look to God, asking for help with this,
Meanwhile he acts like he doesn't exist.
My world consists of an impassable wall,
When I sleep, I'm curled up into a ball.

I'm too insane to work or sing.
I want for nothing, cause I hate everything.
All I can do is patiently endure,
Like Jesus said, and resist the accuser.

Seeing birds fly, they needn't a reason to live
They don't grieve about what they don't give
What do I call this weight on my back,
and if I were to stop, who would pick up the slack?
I need to work or the worms creep in
I cannot rest or rot seeps in
Turning in bed trying to ignore the pain
Controlling everything as sickness takes the reigns
Sometimes I wish I could let go
I wish things would fall into place on their own

The wicked surround the righteous
Like tribesmen around a flame
To a song of joy they dance
All while in a trance
Sometimes they get too close
And learn a lesson dire
That evil's only for a moment
But the righteous live forever

The good walk in a line
Straight and narrow as she goes
Everyone wants to turn them aside
And ask them what they hold
Yet when they tell the truth
They refuse to hear what's told
For wisdom is too high for fools
Yet better than fine gold

The wicked surround the righteous
Like moths drawn to a lamp
They do not fear the Son
And aren't a target of the evil one
They like darkness more than light
They're like bugs under a rug
They mock and scorn the purer souls
Until God pulls the plug