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70 · Jan 2023
Going insane
SleepEasy Jan 2023
Sometimes it rains when I cry
I know how the dying feel
Yet miracles happen before my eyes

No one understands
For who can put into words
A being which exists in and of itself

The mind searches the unthinkable
The unspeakable
And then we forget

Like dreams
Like memories from your unique angle
So vital, so personal

Making mistakes for the sake of honesty
Shouldn't cost me my life
Though to some it's social suicide

I see little messages that poke out sometimes
Everywhere I go, everything is trying to tell me something
Yet to react is considered mental illness
70 · Jan 24
Anxiety
SleepEasy Jan 24
I cannot
live
like most

to travel
from coast
to coast

to eat
my fill
of roast

to raise
a glass
a toast

For I
have naught
to boast

I am
just like
a ghost

I live
just like
a corpse

No sound
escapes
my throat

Sometimes
I feel
remorse

Still I
can't leave
my post

I do
not have
a choice

until
I find
my voice
69 · Nov 2021
I'd rather be alone
SleepEasy Nov 2021
I wanted to feel you
I wanted to be brave
I tried to stay true
All your faults I forgave
But now I know we
Can't be together as one
I'm setting you free
The action is done
We'll no longer dance
Under the sun
A failed romance
An hour of fun
A mild heart attack
I go all numb
Now my heart has a crack
About you I was wrong
And like a hard smack
Poetic, like a song
I learned I can't help you
For I need something better
I can't live through you
I don't care if you read this letter
69 · Oct 25
It'll be ok
SleepEasy Oct 25
It's getting old
The same story told
Same heart every day
Fighting the void
I tried to be perfect
To have a clean soul
But then I got cold
And lit it like coal

The fire burns bright
And lights up my eyes
I cannot tell
Am I in hell?

I'm fighting back urges
And mental diseases
I have very few things
that survived the purges
My bible has creases
I smacked my head with it
I wanted a new lease
So I burned all my bridges

The fire keeps burning
Devouring and spreading
I cannot tell
Is this hell?

The days are now shorter
I'm waking up later
The sun races off
But I am moving forward
No longer picking up pieces
Of missed opportunities
Tomorrow will be different
Life will get better
69 · Feb 2023
Powerless
SleepEasy Feb 2023
In my youth I have followed
A heart of darkness
Over the edge
And into the water

In my youth I have rebelled
And followed my instinct
Into a grave
Of my own doing

Let me forget my youth
And feel something new
Don't want to relive again
A past full of pain

Even now I have no future
Can't make plans
Can't do anything alone
For I was brought up a slave

There's no use in remembering
If I went back
I could change nothing
Wish I could forgive

Yet even the darkest cloud
Can end with the rainbow
I'm hoping for something good
To come my way
69 · Jan 2023
How I view my life
SleepEasy Jan 2023
At heart I'm an extrovert
Though I've always been shy
I think I am kind
They ask me why do I tolerate so much rudeness
Why do I waste my time
Thinking things will get better
It's because I am blind to their ways
Blind to their games

They have a sense of humour
But it's an unnerving kind
That keeps me silent
Don't know if I should laugh or cry
Jokes of mockery
Laughter at misery
They speak for pleasure
Rather than for the greater good

But I'm tired to fight
And so I retreat
Into my nest
Where I put up my feet
And try to forget
Try not to crack
Yet memories always seem to come back

I take comfort in knowing
I'm not the centre of the world
I don't need to make a huge difference
That might prove to be a hindrance
If you take kindness for weakness
There's something you're not seeing
It takes great strength
To be a worthwhile human being
69 · Feb 2023
Hypocrite
SleepEasy Feb 2023
What is the lot of a liars life
The beautiful things in life I condemn
I was never allowed to grow
Just shut up and do as you're told
I have a hard time explaining what I know
The way I was raised bears a strong hold
I was being strangled now I strangle others
Twisted and flipped what once was real
I was robbed but now I steal
My words don't match the way I feel
My testimony is false
I am at the verge of death
Yet I act like I have pride
My fists are clenched but my eyes open wide
Even when I sleep curled on my side
Society has failed me, so I failed it
I expect them to mock while I throw a fit
Because they don't tell the truth
Now I find myself doing the same thing
Perverting what's sacred
Blinded by hatred
I stand guilty before my maker
I am a failure in my own eyes
Yet things aren't always how they appear
I wish there was something for me here
69 · Mar 27
Under the tree
SleepEasy Mar 27
Take what is fruitless
and cut off the branch.
Find the good fruits,
and add to the bunch.
Let the scent please you;
savour each bite;
I want to be the apple
of your precious sight.
And if I should fall
like red autumn leaves,
gather me up
and burn me like weeds.
But take my seeds
and scatter them abroad
so another may rise
and praise you, my God.
69 · Jan 17
Tell the truth
SleepEasy Jan 17
No one cares
until you're dead
before that happens
you're all alone
So many things
we leave unsaid
lest we eat our words
to the bone
one complaint
To tell the truth
without restraint
is to say goodbye
to comfort and bread
Better lose those
than water and air
I'm gasping for truth
that's how I fare
68 · Sep 2021
Speechless
SleepEasy Sep 2021
Battles waged with words
What does it achieve
I've caused pain and hurt
For this I now grieve
I am stricken by what I said
Vowed to never use my voice for hurt again
I've tossed truth to the dirt
Now I'm sideways and bent
All my luck is spent
And the heartache
The words start in my heart
And shift between my stomach
And my mouth, tearing me apart
Tearing me in two
What did I achieve
I cannot speak
The words are stuck between my teeth
Trapped under my tongue
Lost within my heart
Drowned within my blood
What am I supposed to say
68 · May 2022
Without You
SleepEasy May 2022
Perchance destiny or wavering fate
Tore me from my child-like state
To work the land, the seeds to sow
Only to return home in dreadful woe

The high moon and sun, sky and earth
Cannot utter what man is worth
For once they set, go they let
Memory of man as to forget

Creator washed his hands of blame
By making a world fruitful and tame
To pluck out those unworthy of trust
In time to replace them with the just

Now what ghostly figures lurk
Against God and man, and of their work!
To withstand and conquer a fate unkind
Is key for those who bear these things in mind

Servitude and vexing, alluring purse
So man can rest despite his curse
A woman laid bare before his eyes
Never to forsake her, in peace he lies

Yet if she leaves him, he sleeps curled
He's left with hopes of a better world
Then he sits and ponder fate
Yet to change it's not too late
67 · May 2021
What Lies In The Dark
SleepEasy May 2021
When I was young I used to see ghosts and take fright
I couldn't go into the basement by myself at night
They appeared as faces and bodies before my sight
But not like humans; some would fly at me and bite
Others, insane, would cry and lament their pain.
So I learned to fall asleep to music and TV to help my fear
To stop the voices and visions, to make them disappear.
This went on, year after year
But one day I grew up, and made it my mission
To face and defeat these apparitions.
Yet to my shock and surprise, they grew wise
Instead of frightening me with deformed grins,
They now accuse me of all my sins.
67 · Jul 2021
Why I'm Alone
SleepEasy Jul 2021
They say trials and tribulations make for virtuous men,
and whatever doesn't **** you makes you stronger.
The more damage the world dealt, the more pain I felt,
the less I said, the closer I am to dead.

I'm restrained in speech. I'm not one to teach.
The pain I bear is not something I wear.
I wish it would cease, wish my mind would ease.
Wish I could openly speak about this disease.

I try to look up, but have no one to love.
Poetry is hard for one who rarely sees the sun.
I have nothing to say except good day.
And goodbye. I lie about being ok. I actually cry.

Am I forever alone? Sure. I don't desire a partner.
All my friends are dead or inside my head.
This life and this world make me want to hurl.
All the while my enemies dance and twirl.

But there's a glimmer of hope that is not lost.
I bet on it long ago, and haven't yet lost.
My hope is with the father, son and holy spirit;
I pray they can exorcize me of all these foul demons.

For there's a war on, that very few can see.
It's a fight for the souls of people like you and me.
And I sense evil in all people, it just takes time.
I prefer to be alone, what's mine is mine.
67 · Jan 10
Untitled
SleepEasy Jan 10
You are the ache in my body
I struggle to not let you take me under
For I know what you are thinking
And I know you want to watch me suffer

I wish it weren't so
but you can't stand to watch me fly
Cause then I would leave you behind
But I'm tired of living under your wing

I can keep you company for a while
Meet with you and talk of the old times
Though I can't be around long
For we all need to be alone sometimes
67 · Jan 8
Box of chocolates
SleepEasy Jan 8
In this life
I can't refuse
whatever comes
I do not choose

I come upon
things every day
I simply use
and throw away

I am a guest
Life and death
I cannot hold
just like my breath

Once saw something
I wanted to keep
the harder I squeezed
the more it leaped

I am a prisoner
in this life
My life is full
of pain and strife

I am someone
with many needs
yet I must thank
the hand that feeds
67 · Aug 2022
Like oil & water
SleepEasy Aug 2022
You made no sound
When I crossed the line
When I put you down
You payed me no mind
When I gave you the frown
You didn't notice the sign
You gave me your time
I ******* around
I was doing my grind
You were drunk on wine
Now we are bound
You are mine
Now be a good boy and kiss the ground!
67 · Jan 13
Attachment
SleepEasy Jan 13
I used to write freely
Vividly and openly
but ever since you broke my heart
I've been writing bitterly

I spend my days alone
Fear and anger, can't tell what's worse
I'm used to pain, but what I'm dealing with
is more like a curse

I can search myself
but there's nothing to find
in these dark holes
that exist in my mind

My stomach and head
they hurt as I groan
I've learned my lesson
just leave me alone!
67 · Jun 24
Wistful theme
SleepEasy Jun 24
I had a dream
I was sitting on grass
Talking with old friends
About current events
That I haven't seen
In fifteen years
Then a giant walked by
Controlled by AI
We just looked at it
And continued to sit
We laughed and told jokes
I said for a smoke I would ****
Then saw a stall selling smokes
And paid with a hundred dollar bill
And as I was about to go on my way
They said not today!
The bill is fake
For heaven's sake!
66 · Apr 7
Castrated Lion
SleepEasy Apr 7
He lost his roar, they suppressed his soul
He's starting to ****, like a black hole
He has no hope in hearing good news
even if he heard some, he'd still have the blues
He thinks he's no good, a freak and a creep
He asks the Lord to take him away in his sleep
The Lord answers his prayer, but not how he'd expect
instead of killing him, he honours him with respect
then takes him away in his nightly slumber
to show him a place where he roars like thunder
66 · May 31
Catatonic
SleepEasy May 31
Take my heart
Wring the veins
till not an ounce
of blood remains
Take my eyes
Smear them in mud
Push me over the edge
and call me bud
Announce my failures
with a blare
that shakes the hills
And I'll just stare
and remain still
Shave my eyelids
and brow and hair
while I sleep
I just don't care
Humiliate me
You want to see
what kind of man
I am internally?
My soul is gone
It sings no song
it prays and longs
for armageddon
My brain is fried
My heart is dark
Is there anyone out there
who can ignite my spark?
Am I stupid?
Am I odd?
In shame I nod
A yes-man clod
I don't say no
but nothing more
Thrown all emotions
out the door
There once was life
behind these eyes
There once was hope
but now not so
Put me in the ground
I can't stand the sound
of my heart beating anymore
The rhythmic pound
66 · Mar 2021
I want OUT
SleepEasy Mar 2021
Reflecting light, my body’s beaming
Too bad I talk with little meaning.
My testimony’s hard to bear
Say the truth I do not dare.
For inside my rotten core
Guilt and shame, forevermore.
I humble myself, get eaten up,
I pride myself, get beaten down.
I cannot smile, cannot frown,
Cannot swim, cannot drown.
Cannot live, cannot die
When I talk, I always sigh.
Luckily this world is temporary
I don’t belong, that’s plain to see
How I long to go home...
66 · Apr 2021
When I'm Better
SleepEasy Apr 2021
While truth suffocates under a mass of lies,
I struggle to breathe an honest word.
I envision a look
A mad stare which drives me off.

When the voice of greed calls
I remember my liberal ways
To be like the people
To share in their struggle.

I can say and do what I want
So I keep the damage to a minimum.
Is it a phase,
Will I ever snap out?

Who is backwards?
Is it enough to say "I had a share in life"
To have a share in a better world?
Yet we've all sinned.

Through inaction I have sinned,
But I am licking my wounds
Hoping for a healthier mind
Waiting for when I'm better.
65 · Jul 2021
Friend
SleepEasy Jul 2021
I don't have many friends
I don't want you to be another
means to an end

I don't have many friends
I don't want to feel void and empty
because friendship is something one lends

To be a friend
Is to help someone grow
Not let someone fall and descend

To be a friend
Is to make someone feel special
To take them out of the crowd in which they blend

I need a friend
To force me to see
And help me to comprehend

I need a friend
With whom into the abyss of my mind
I can descend
65 · Mar 12
Stoned adventures
SleepEasy Mar 12
I don't need much
Your touch would be nice
But I always think twice
and can't break the ice

One day I approached you
and broached you to stay
you said I must go
without delay

I thought it was done
but then you turned to say
what drugs are you on
and how much for some you ***
64 · Jul 19
In Solitude
SleepEasy Jul 19
Solitary life can feel like a curse
but I choose not to complain, cause I know
I've had it worse
There's no shoulder to lean on and cry
No one to bring me down when I get too high
I do it myself, using every means possible
I poison myself

I smoke and cough, drink
and wonder what turns people off
To be fair I wouldn't want to stay with me either
I would say go away till you're sober
Love can be tough
But never cruel
Love is not a blind man leading a fool

Months turn to years
I've yet to conquer my fears
I wonder about my future
Feeling unsure
But I know I'll stay
It's all I know anyway
I kinda like it this way
SleepEasy Jun 20
You think of the future
And act like you're sure
You feel secure
Like you're the cure
It goes without mention
I'll stop your ascension
Break your intentions
Destroy your inventions
Take my rod and strike
So you know what it's like
To live without sight
In the absence of light
64 · Apr 21
Shamed
SleepEasy Apr 21
I put my hand on her shoulder
say thanks for being there
I feel her revolting, she moves away
as countless voices numb my ears
They squeal their accusations
I can only laugh, I've been here before
I tried to repent of my iniquities
Every night I say I won't do it again
I'm used to being embarrassed
Live the life of a pariah
People spitting as I pass
but what I experienced is downright humiliation
I expect betrayal from friends
No one has been faithful
Loyalty is nowhere to be found
ever since I became a laughingstock
people have avoided me
My name used to be meaningless
now it's utterly soiled
I just sit alone in a corner
and smoke and drink my problems away
hoping this too shall pass
and some day mourning will turn to joy
64 · Aug 2021
Through the Aeons
SleepEasy Aug 2021
It gave us tools, He gave us life
Science and religion need not strife.
He made us prosper, it was our output
Without science we'd be walking barefoot.
It gave us weapons, He taught us peace
One path makes life harder, one more at ease.
It's easy to know facts, but who can stand truth?
Facts do not know you, but God did from your youth.
One is eternal, the other changes over time;
both are a curious study and infinitely sublime.
Science is a mirror reflection of God,
for it is mans creation, which deserves applaud.
Yet through time, debates and experience I will say it:
Science has always, and will always give way to faith.
64 · Apr 2021
Let Go
SleepEasy Apr 2021
My soul is fine, it's my flesh that hurts
Divided again, on the outskirts of pain
My poor flesh... Trying to save it in vain
The discomfort makes me insane
How long must I endure
This fear of dying, when death is the cure
People take advantage of my curse
They will transport me in a hearse,
Then lay out the urn, and set me aflame
But I want to let go of my body and name;
We all must let go; there's no one to blame.
64 · Sep 2022
Vision
SleepEasy Sep 2022
I need my time, I need my space
It took strength to escape that place
Where people were as cold as stone
I thought I'd be happy all alone
Then I got what I hoped for
Now the world is at my door
Yet nothing stops the pain and fear
I can feel a breakdown near
I go to the kitchen and reach the knife
What would happen if I ended my life?
I fill and drink and rinse my cup
Something calls me out, and I look up
I see a bright and shining star
I try to reach it, but it's so far
I look in awe, I stand still
But in my mind I fly at will
I soar above, rising steady
And am greeted by confetti
Scores of people welcome me
I've reached the place where I'm meant to be
Then I return to my life of grime
And know I will die when it's my time
64 · Nov 2022
Untitled
SleepEasy Nov 2022
I never gave my future any thought
Someone else decided it for me, see
Now I'm free
Yet I find a wall where the sky should be

I never gave my future any thought
I just focused on my breath
And lived for the present
Before came what's inevitable

Now that I think about my future
I brace myself for the unknown
Yet not all is within my power
Some things just happen on their own

I want my roots to dig deep
I want my hands to reach out
Without relying on force
I can't do it alone
63 · Jun 2021
Someday
SleepEasy Jun 2021
Something's off, I don't know what
No one to trust with deeper thought
A wind of pain has passed me by
Evil rises, soaring high
I clench my fists, I get nervous
I try to find the cause of this

There are those who delight in the bad
They want to fight, with all they have
Some like to dance to the ever black
I faint from terror, I want light back
We must let them have their fun
And endure all that is done under the sun

When I lie in fear and I'm low in strength
I hope I'll persevere, and go the length
I'll find you and draw you near, without angst
We will put in work, not be put to waste
Someday when we're a bit more strong
Then we'll find a place where we belong
63 · May 2022
Untitled
SleepEasy May 2022
Look upon the world and wail, you earthly beings!
The souls of departed ancestors likewise may weep
At the lack thereon of a saintly mind
And beasts calling themselves men, horrid unkind!

My people go stiff at the slightest whiff
Of debate, set in their ways, truth they hate
It's nothing new
The mighty feed off tragedy, yet despise what's true

They keep building machines,
For malicious ends, for profit indeed
To **** blood from the veins of the earth
And end life before birth

They use aborted fetuses, our money spent
To combat diseases which they invent,
Investigations face stiff opposition till they drop it,
The righteous who see these things are told to stop it

Not one is left, who's upright and pure
All fell to sin, of destiny unsure
The proud prey on anyone who won't heed
Heed I will not, to the evil breed

I will confess, and stand up tall
Despite the mess, this free for all
And proclaim the rightful origin of earth and sky,
Created by God, who looks from on high.
63 · Mar 2021
The tide
SleepEasy Mar 2021
I rode the waves, got caught up in the moment
In those days, I felt like I was flying through space
Without a care, I did things most wouldn’t dare
But then the waves receded, left me flopping  on the shore
And shaken to the core, when I realized I did things I abhor
I have nothing more to say
The Lord gives, and the Lord takes away
63 · Apr 2022
Schizo Talk
SleepEasy Apr 2022
I consume spirits like I eat bread
Some make me choke a bit
These I can predict and dread
When they come I have to sit
No control over what pops in my head
Yet I can control how I react to it
Let it win and end up dead
Make it lose it throws a fit
Its true aim is left unsaid
To win me over to the pit
63 · Feb 2020
Untitled
SleepEasy Feb 2020
When I lie, I cover my head;
I lie face-down, and wish I was dead.
Curiosity killed the cat, it wasn't sought;
In my belly it went, without a thought.
You say I’m fat, I say I’m not.
Your interest in me, it makes me hot.
I say I am, you say I’m not.
You say I’m poor, what I have I bought.
If you think I’m bad, to single me out,
Consider this person who flouts about.

I cover my eyes when I walk the street;
I scribble notes, then toss the sheet.
My lustful heart, it can't be true;
If you take me in, I’ll nurture you.
I walk around, searching for warmth;
Please let me in, out of the storm.
My road leads to you, out here it’s cold;
I’m feeling blue; I’ll do as I’m told.
My liver’s battered, I’ve lost my soul.
My heart is shattered, my stomach’s a hole.
I’ll work for food, I’ll clean your clothes.
I’ll wash your dishes, I’ll clean your kitchen;
and If you hit me again, I’ll stop my *******.

You better stop *******, and get back in the kitchen.
Use your tongue, lickin you’ll clean my toilet bowl.
I own your soul; I own your life and all your holes
and all your curves; don’t get on my nerves.
When I spit, you’ll open your mouth;
get on my couch, let’s go for a joyride.
Open wide, and in it slides;
I’ll take you out, there’s nowhere to hide.
you are mine; get in line.
I’m going out, when I get back
I’d better see you at work, not in slack.
When I get back, we’ll go somewhere
Anywhere, there’s no one who dares to confront me.

You say there’s no one to confront you, I’ll take you out
I’ll slide it in, the cracks in the pavement will swallow your blood.
And then I’ll dance in a trance
I prance on fools like you, your blood makes me drool.
Your blood makes me wet, a warm sweat.
I’m always watching, you're sought out;
from your own ******, you won’t be bought out.
Your last breath, I’ll breathe it in;
You’ll pay with your death, for your heinous sin.
I don’t fear jail; I want to see you wail;
violence is my calling, I’ll watch you fall.
I’ll write you a song, then chill with my ****.
Cause when I'm gone, I'll know I’ve done no wrong!

No, you won’t do it!
I’ve taken your knife and threw it!
Can’t you see I’m alone,
that I have no one else, cool it!
I remember the story of how you were born;
The day I let you out of my sight I abhor.
I adore you; you will be mine.
I’ll whip you in shape if you fall out of line.
What a dumb thought of a crime, forget it;
I’ll make you some food and you’ll eat it.
I’ve made your bed, and turned on your tv
By tomorrow morning you will clearly see
that you are mine and were made for me.

He was made for you, but what about me?
Your youngest son? Hello? Look mommy!
I’m doing well in school, I make good grades
I watch you all day, so don’t forget about me!
My friends in school all love me,
Hey! Look! I made a drawing!
And dad let me borrow his playstation 3!
Wanna watch some TV? I like cooking
I’ll clean after I eat, are you looking?
****! When you tucked me in last night,
did you think about how much I fight?
I hate you, you’re no good to me
You are a *****, a no good ******
Now cook me some **** food, I’m hungry.

I pray all day, I’ve so much to say;
I close my eyes, to think of a way.
When I reflect, I'm with my sect
Then I go home, where I’m left unchecked.
The other day I tripped, and the crow cawed;
the tree shook, yet the daylight was broad.
I sleep face-down, or curled like a hook;
What I have I took, when no one looked.
Show me a sign god, don’t give me that look.
When I read a book, I see nothing; I’m blind!
I may be dying, but you're unkind!
I am fish bait, that's walked off the shelf;
For the end I'll wait no longer; I’ll do it myself!
63 · May 6
Confession
SleepEasy May 6
Wake up
Drink coffee
Smoke half a pack
Try to process the dreams

I don't get hungry
till half way through the day
Then I gorge
And then get sick

Such is my retirement
A life without a job
Without anyone
I struggle to find purpose

Everyone has their place
I walk a path I paved myself
Back and forth I go
Circling the same places

Who can change the course of their life
at any given instant?
Who can forgive and let go?
Forget and be perfect?

I have schizophrenia
I falsely feel people are targeting me
One foot in the grave
But one hand on my heart

For I understand those who suffer
Thus I gravitate to such people
I would never hurt you
Your pain is my pain

In all my life
I haven't found life or liberty here
Only veiled threats and manipulation
Yet I hang on by the hope of a better afterlife
SleepEasy Jul 2021
I have seen the effects of my choices,
And it all just hurts my brain;
What once were friendly voices
Have grown silent in disdain.

For each flashback I must give an account
So I search for excuses in vain;
To what can this torture amount to
Besides an early grave?

I have seen the evil I have wrought,
So I took myself out of sight;
What once was, is now sought
But I'm too worn-out to fight.

My dreams are full of warnings,
And I shiver at the sight of visions;
I struggle every morning
To try to find a mission.

Yet I trust in God, though I cannot serve him
Because through all the pain I'm just a burden.
I can't rejoice, and though I feel I have no hope
I know it will get better as I learn to cope.
62 · Apr 29
The Separation
SleepEasy Apr 29
There is something
that the young and old
have in common
which those in mid-life
do not seem to grasp
or acknowledge
The fragile know it
The strong abhor it
It is so simple
yet it's an insult to ego
Ask your elder
how they survived
Ask your child
why they hide
It is to see evil
and not engage it
even though deep inside
you want to destroy it
If someone hurts you
and makes an attack
against your peace of mind
or against your will
do not dwell
Do not strike back
or curse them to hell
I have done the former
more times than I can tell
It is quite easy
The latter is harder
to just let things be
The more I thought of these people
the harder I fell
I struggled to understand
that endless vexation
the desire for vengeance
and the agitation
If they appear in your mind
look away
at something else
Anything else
Think of the future
If someone upsets you
and hurts you for no reason
Know they might not last till
the next season
Pray for your enemies
Hope they cease wickedness
for the good of those around them
who come in contact with them
If someone is haunting you
or their presence is daunting
Find peace at any cost
Let the relationship cease
and if the memory rots
and you can't stop the thoughts
know that revenge is best served
cold not hot
62 · Nov 2023
What side are we on
SleepEasy Nov 2023
There once was a time
or rather, a sight
Somewhat of a rhyme
yet also a plight
before the first dawn
before the first night
before God declared
let there be light
Children were born
shining and bright
though some were torn
between wrong and right

Now war was on the horizon
and all had to fight
Many chose a side
The forces of darkness tried
to overthrow the law
and take the throne
force goodness to scrape low
but commanded by the sun
the ground opened wide
and down they fell
upon the sound
of the trumpet and bell
and descended to hell
though once mighty hounds
defeated they were
Over it was
before they could tell
forfeited lives
they rest behind bars
in cell - like hives
no longer stars

We are human
and we're slow
we have the power to think
before it becomes so
we don't just wish for something
and it becomes so
though what side are we on?
We just don't know
61 · May 2021
Untitled
SleepEasy May 2021
I used to see you as a shining light
Dazzling at sight, notoriously glorious
I knew I wanted to get closer and closer
Until we stood victorious

Now I see the outline of your body
A silhouette with your back to me
Getting smaller and smaller
Until you fade away
61 · Jan 2023
Reject
SleepEasy Jan 2023
You can see it in his eyes, his lips, face
When he leave a person, a place
He doesn't know how to mask it, he must be careful
who he lets into his space
Everywhere he goes, he leaves a trace
Emotions rub off on others
And he's a disgrace

Broken and dead
put him in a box
Bury him six feet deep
Cover him with rocks
Let him sleep
Among stopped clocks
Such is their wish, though death never knocks

He has been dropped from a height
He appears to have flopped
Yet in the Lords sight
He is mighty and bright
He will reap the crops
And the fruit of his work
When he outlives those that smirk
60 · Jan 2023
Untitled
SleepEasy Jan 2023
I find myself grumbling
and gnashing my teeth
Another humbling
betrayal again
I saw myself leaning
trying to solve another's pain
Saw things too deep
and missed the meaning
What do I need
these memories for
I must take heed
and strengthen my core
Never to forget
these mistakes sore
Lest I forget
And repeat them once more
60 · Feb 2022
Just some haikus
SleepEasy Feb 2022
I like poetry
It's good to write down your thoughts
Retrospect your life

You might not have known
It's also a form of art
Poets are artists

But now I will sit
Until I find a purpose
Philosophizing

Do you think a lot?
Do you take matters to heart?
Are you a deep well?

Today I went out
Nothing interesting happened
I quickly went home

Nothings the matter
Yet nothing matters to me
Must find excitement

But Im too frightened
Don't need more bruises or stress
People sicken me

Intentionally
Make me want to **** myself
I'm better off here

In my comfort zone
Contemplating about life
Talking to myself
60 · Mar 16
My head on a platter
SleepEasy Mar 16
Mortals...
So susceptible to demons
Go ahead, place your trust in one
Pour your love and faith into a human
As soon as you turn they show their claws
Once they take off their mask you'll be horrified
at how a person can have many faces
Your reward will be knives in your back
and the mockery will come to no end

No, do not trust people
Their religions will fail you
Their sciences will drive you to madness
Their products will intoxicate you
Nothing they say is a fact
Arguing over truth is pointless
What is a human, might I ask
A temporary life form, nothing more

The sons of God know who they are
The daughters of God best be on guard
The world will do all in its power to steal their crowns
and leave them flailing about in their own blood and *****
There are those who say they are chosen
whilst gnawing and clawing the righteous
Hypocrites and evildoers show no fear
They steal and **** without remorse
while the righteous try not to judge

When you feel nothing has any meaning
Let everything fall and set the way it must
Mortals are not to live forever
The ones that do will no longer be people
but Gods
And the LORD will smash the gods on earth
all in one day
And the king will separate the two types of people
for this I hope and pray
59 · May 2021
Forgiveness
SleepEasy May 2021
When will compassion come to fashion?
When will life become valuable,
And death be unfashionable?
Images of death should make you short on breath.
But we don't feel their pain,
We look after our own gain.
When will humility excel stupidity?
If you're humble your feet won't stumble.
Certain things should give you the shakes
There is no shortage of mistakes.
59 · Apr 19
The Blues
SleepEasy Apr 19
Rising slowly
after a night of turning
tears on my shirt
Learning how to live again
Loving the small things
Coming to terms with reality
Sipping coffee

I'm desperate
Trying to be at ease
but the thoughts keep coming
Robbing me of peace
I keep releasing them but they keep coming
I wanted to please you
I lived for you, and you despised me

I'm waking up slowly
to the fact that I don't belong
I go for a long walk
but the loneliness and emptiness
I drag along
I listen to a sad song
and sing along

Now I'm meditating
on where I went wrong
The people I tried to save
have pushed me to my grave
Endless rain of the soul is driving me insane
everything around me is alive with pain
while the walls of my heart echo your name
59 · Nov 2022
Lost
SleepEasy Nov 2022
I remember times long ago
We'd watch the sun setting slow
We held hands and made wishes
As the day drew to a finish
The reddening star was our sign
And for a moment I felt benign

Life is never black or white
I see colours within my mind
Anger is hot, patience is blue
I'm grey, feel nothing without you
I'd love to have you in my sight
You were my favourite love, my light

The other day I walked the track
As the sun warmed my back
I walked past the place we met
And I felt no pain or regret
I remembered the times long ago
I moved on and let go
58 · Mar 23
Shining in darkness
SleepEasy Mar 23
I want to go back
to simpler times
when the grass was greener
and people were more innocent

I don't want what's new
I miss the ignorance of childhood
When I felt a zeal for life
before I knew evil

I don't believe in evolution
I don't want amendments
The more you add, the more you take away
Some things are above humans

I want to be more pure
but this irks some people
so I shut myself away
to await better times

And I know it will get worse
before it gets better
People are angry
but I will protest quietly
58 · Jan 16
Luck
SleepEasy Jan 16
Do not be fooled
The highlights I show
are not who I am
I know nothing at all

They fell from the sky
and crowned for a while
my head with a smile
the blessings rained down

I laboured for them not
Do not think me wise
I dug in the ground
by chance found a prize

Sometimes you score
and sometimes you miss
The tables will turn
to remind me of this

That I am but a worm
Naked or dressed
blessed or degraded
I am but a worm
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