Like with a brush
You painted a canvas
Intricately and exquisitely
To the voice of your will
And thus was I
I danced and was thrilled
Bending my soul
To the shape of your whim
Yet now I cry
For you put me aside

I will be loud
I won't  be hushed
To win you back
I will do much
From the heights
To the depths
I'll paint the world
With how I felt
I'll touch the hearts
And they will melt
Perhaps you'll remember me then

How long must it be
Realistically
Before you appear
And set me free
For I'm in hell
Now where I dwell
A shell of what I used to be
Under this spell
A brokenhearted fool
Without you

I needed care
And you refused
Said it's not something
I can choose
Said it's only for
an emergency
When I didn't want help
you forced me

Now I have nothing
no one to share
the passing days
only psychiatrist's care
a handful of meds
And then I sway
away from dreams
the only way

I pick up a controller and play
Every single day
Till I can't feel my head
Till my eyes turn red
I get ******
Then I get owned
The same old games
Of renown fame
just like so many others
I forget my name
Through these cords
I live a fantasy
Without any consequences
or rewards
It made me happy
when I was a kid
who had an imagination
but deep down inside I wanted to get rid of it
A life I could have had
like mom and dad
Now the cobwebs are forming
And the world is turning
And my passion isn't there
And I'm starting to care

Masters of reality
Adding spark to the bland
You give them your money
They stimulate your pineal gland
They live out your fantasy
They did something grand
Live like a celebrity
Fame, status, and...?
Now you feel like a nobody
Time's slipping through your hand
Yet when the clock turns a degree
You will understand
That time comes like a sea
Sweeping the land
To shift honour and dignity
Destroying foundations of sand

I saw the traps
Yet went right in
She hunted me down
Chewed me up
And spat me out

She was there when I went down
She was there when I was made a clown
She turned her back as I drowned
I begged and cried, don't let me die
She just sighed and said goodbye

I am the darkness she locked me in
I am possessed by what has been
Disturbed by what I continually see
I refuse to let go and break free
Yet there's still fight left in me

I will not rest
I will not cease
I'll devise a plan
She'll come crawling back
On hands and knees

Then I'll beat her till she's sore
I will make her beg for more
Ensure the pain sinks to her core
And when she knows she's done for
I will strike a blade through the *****

Starting from the bottom I wanted to scale the ladder
Tried to hone my craft and turn out the winner
They pyramid was tall and I knew I could fall
In the end I understood nothing at all
For they sabotaged my efforts so I failed in my tasks
Discouraged and lost I turned to the flask
Drinking and high all washed up and burned
In examining me they left no stone unturned
Humiliation set in every waking day
I was put away, but in the end I'm just clay
They tried but couldn't break my hope
The thought of death actually helps me cope
I know the end is better than the start
And I hope in heaven you and I have a part
Evil and corruption come and pass
But these things are but a kingdom of glass
Naked and scared, all will know their sin
Nowhere to run, they will be exposed just like I have been
And they will learn nothing to them was ever owed
While those who walked in purity will be clothed

What's the use
I do no harm
I do no good
Locked in my room

What's the use
Keep my head low
I have these feelings
I cannot show

Yet in my head
Behind the soot
There is a spark
That life is good

But what's the use
I do not choose
I don't consent
I don't refuse

What I'm seeing
An inner war
For the core
Of my inner being

What goes inside me
I feel within me
Wanna breathe out the old
And smell something new