Maybe my family remembers,
but who can withstand the gloom?
So I find myself alone again
in this familiar padded room
Double portions at breakfast
Served in styrofoam with
cold, unsweetened tea..

There's nothing on the TV
so I write poems on the wall
And if it falls apart, the chemicals
might help to embrace the fall,
but I guess I'd rather spiral
if falling feels a little more like me..

At night, my thoughts are racing
Shady deals, extinguished flames,
and times spent under streetlights
playing codependent games
I'm a slave to what's familiar..
though nothing seems to
ever stay the same.

I know what they're going to say
I know what they want to hear
I know the tone of their frustration
After 5 or 6 times this year
and for me it's all familiar,
but most these people barely
know my name.

"Just keep your love about you."
said the kettle to the ***.
"What you have, you have to give
because charity is all you've got."
"And keep yourself together."
said the kettle to the cup.
"Some day soon you'll find a spoon
that stirs your spirit up."

If I could only
hold the wind,
perhaps I'd know
how freedom feels
And to find it
once again might
take the blisters
off my heels
For now, I'm lonely -
scratchin' skin
beneath the rags of
where I've been
Stumbling around
a broken mind -
afraid of falling in

If I could only
catch my breath,
perhaps I'd make
my way back home
The day I find
you waiting  
is the last day
I'd have to roam.
For now, I'll just keep
walking till I find
what I've left behind
hoping it didn't die
somewhere inside
this broken mind

"You're a half step
behind", she said.
"You don't have to
chase the beat..
Just let the rhythm
oil those bones",
she laughed, "and flow
to your two left feet..
It's nothing you have
to try to do.
We're all born to dance.
But some are just
too self-aware and won't
give themselves a chance"

Then she smiled and put
her hand in mine and
it calmed my busy brain.
And the whole night
we spent cheek to cheek,
dancing in the pouring rain.

I could describe
everything about you
having never met you -
recite your words
like a Silverstein poem,
sketch every
imperfection, and
melt into every embrace..

I loved you long
before I knew you

And now..
all the more.

Distant thunder roars
Maple branches surrender
to the gusting wind
---
A busy boy turns
toward the darkening clouds
waiting for the rain

We put our problems in a bottle,
sank it, and said a prayer,
then hammered down the throttle
with our hands to the open air..
The evening sky especially beautiful -
Sun rays bursting through cotton skies
And still, it was barely suitable
to reflect from the bluest eyes..
Pontoon bouncing on choppy water
Blonde hair dancing in the wind -
just a worn out dad and daughter
who might not come this way again.
But today, the water welcomes us..
And we make for a crazy crew..
Captain Grateful at the wheel
with his first mate - Baby Blue

One thing that
I'll remember
And I trust that
you'll never lose:
Warmth that
late December
can't take from
those baby-blues