I try to hide the insomniac craze
with a smile and friendly gesture.
Lest anyone see my gaping wound
and how badly it's been festered
But brokenness seeps through
The crippling fear of my exposure
as a wounded soul who seems
to be incapable of closure.

Questions plague my mind..
Why do I feel so wretched?
Why am I so overwhelmed
by the need to feel accepted?
What makes me so fearful?
Death is only a part of life.
I've known from an early age
That one day I would surely die.

No doubt I've lived recklessly,
That's the beauty of forgiveness.
So why is it so hard for me
To accept when I'm forgiven?

Who am I to say it's over?
Who am I to say I can't?
Who am I to say it's impossible?
God has given a second chance.

Who am I to say I'll never
see the sun begin to rise?
When I saw the break of dawn
crack the sky so many times.

Maybe nothing is impossible.
And maybe one day I will see
that all of this will change
by changing how I look at me.

This is what it looks like to
have entirely too much -
Shell-shocked in battle with
ghosts we can't see or touch

Still, we bathe in lavish luxury,
steeped to our necks with waste -
defending sinking sand castles and
casting stones through cyberspace

Nobody grits their teeth in heaven
No sly looks or harsh words
No kids cover their ears
Till every harsh word is slurred
It's all friendly conversation
Every noun and every verb
No drinking, wrecking trucks
on slick roads with sharp curves
Nobody overdoses
Nobody gets bad dope
Nobody commits suicide
when memories steal their hope
There's no broken promises
No counterfeits or shady deals
No eviction notice because
you couldn't pay the bills
There's no dreaded phone calls
No **** or fake pills
Just a mansion with many rooms
And cattle on a thousand hills
The darkness never comes
Neither by sky nor in the eyes
of a childish heart turned sour
After one too many goodbyes
No souls that are crushed
beneath the weight of fear and shame
Just grateful bums and addicts
who found salvation in Jesus name.
Tell the dope man you can't make it
You have to attend a weddin'
Christ is coming for His bride and
Nobody grits their teeth in heaven.

We put our problems in a bottle,
sank it, and said a prayer,
then hammered down the throttle
with our hands to the open air..
The evening sky especially beautiful -
Sun rays bursting through cotton skies
And still, it was barely suitable
to reflect from the bluest eyes..
Pontoon bouncing on choppy water
Blonde hair dancing in the wind -
just a worn out dad and daughter
who might not come this way again.
But today, the water welcomes us..
And we make for a crazy crew..
Captain Grateful at the wheel
with his first mate - Baby Blue

One thing that
I'll remember
And I trust that
you'll never lose:
Warmth that
late December
can't take from
those baby-blues

Horrible things have plagued me
Things I never wanted to know
So I stuffed 'em all in places
I thought I'd never have to go.  
No matter the distance traveled
Coffey Mountain or Carter's docks
Every goodbye was like a crank
on that old Jack In The Box.
One day the music slowed
The dread ushered gripping fear
And Jack came jumping out
about the coldest time of year.

Who would know the struggle?
The apocalyptic rubble.  
So sick I'm seeing double
and I haven't had a drink.

Jarred by nightly terror.
Scarred by trial and error
Acting on impulse because
I'm too afraid to think.

Never bite the messenger.  
He loves you in the end.  
Sometimes blows that hurt the most
are those from a loving friend.

If I could only
grasp the wind,
perhaps I'd know
how freedom feels
And to find it
once again might
take the blisters
off my heels

For now, I'm lonely -
scratchin' skin
beneath the rags of
where I've been
Tiptoeing around
a broken mind -
afraid of falling in..