7/16/2020

You sat down to think,
To find the perfect word,
A word that defined your worth,
But the only word that came was weak.

Physically, mentally, spiritually,
In selflessness, in love, in all.
Feeling short but looking tall,
But ease comes so difficultly.

Your life identifies as a struggle,
Disasters fill your memory.
Even light things aren’t feathery,
Things the strong lift with a chuckle.

Weak can’t be your descriptor,
There has to be a better one!
Walking from here to there – feeling done,
Waiting for your heart to feel a stir.

Could you say that you are bold,
When you run from discomfort?
Will your good be remembered,
Or will the bad prevail, becoming old?

If you don’t find a better identity soon,
You’ll fall down and never recover.
I’d only you hadn’t blown every buffer,
If only you hadn’t entered that room.

But God is your loving Father,
He owns the cattle on a thousand hills.
He’s just waiting to fix your ills,
To give, and give again is no bother.

His love is the only comfort,
His grace covers your cancer,
His justice frees your anger,
His blessings are unnumbered.

He replaces your short-sighted desires,
His plans are a sure promise.
Accept him and turn from hardness,
Focus on Him, put on your blinders.

His blood flowed for you,
And his life covers yours.
His strife opened a door,
One with a joyful view.

You are a child of God, don’t forget.
Though you are truly weak,
God brings you to a new peak.
He loves you, and that’s not a threat.

God is a listening ear,
When all ears are closed,
God is the one who knows,
When others steer clear in fear.

Now, what defines you?

3/21/2021

Wouldn’t you love a piggyback,
Off of what I stuff a piggy bank?
Just leave the pieces on that table,
Where it used to sit with that jingle.
Shattered dreams with broken swine,
Scattered screams – my stolen dimes.

You don’t care about the bystanders,
You aren’t fair by your standards.
Confusion – your warning smile,
Conclusion – your warming style.
Words that feel hot under my collar,
Alerts where I wheel a rudder of honor.
You should be hanging framed pictures,
Instead you’re aiming pulled triggers.

Somewhere is the cheer,
I sit at a full table,
But my mind is the more crowded.
Anywhere but here,
From the inside surrounded.
Where to? About time I mounted.

A shiver shoots down my spine,
My heart accelerates,
I hear footsteps behind me,
But I don’t dare look,
I know they’re not even there,
I sleep soundly at night,
Knowing it’s all in my head.

I can’t get outdoors,
If I have to throw
Out doors for windows,
In order to grow.
So I’ll stay indoors
And keep ’em all closed.

You’re on the top floor? Sorry
But it’s a single-story,
Everybody’s got the same story,
Chasing the same glory.

If you think you fancy my time,
Better have deep pockets.
If you wanna see my insides,
You better have sleek sockets.
But if you wish to know my mind,
Be ready to weep by buckets.

12/13/2020

Cold and tasteless.
Is the air.
Dry and lifeless,
Lightheaded is every breath.

Hot and sweaty.
Is my skin.
Weak and rapid,
Troubled is my heartbeat.

Muted and thirsty.
Are all smells.
Pacing and worried,
Ambivalent is my disposition.

Boring and tight.
Is this room.
Barren and absent,
Unproductive is every second.

2/17/2021

You covered the world with a blanket of lies
But now your blood flows the streets like a river
You turned everything white as if it were pure
But now the end has come to your coat of death
Your shy retreat was slower than your coming
And now the world returns like soldiers from war

2/12/2021

God wove the fabric of reality with thread made of Love.
He created the pattern in His Image using a loom called Might.
The fabric was decorated with Holiness and scented with Purity.
It was displayed with Intelligent Design and Truth,
Set up behind windows of Beauty in a shop called Mercy and Grace.
He gave it to man for free to benefit His Glory.

Man stumbled upon this gift that had no Price.
He gazed upon it with eyes of Greed and Selfishness.
He stepped forward on shoes of Impatience.
Through the window went the rock of Pride.
He stole the fabric and called it Mine.
In a bag called Fraud, he covered the Truth with Lies.

Man claimed the beautiful fabric to be found by Chance.
He told a story about its Nature and called it Science.
He used it unsustainably to benefit his Comfort.
Man studied the fabric to replicate it as an Innovation.
He sold the knock-off fabric in a store called Modernism.
Sales brought in Profit, but the fabric was a poor Substitute.

One day God is coming back to reveal Reality,
He will tell the Story of History from a view outside of Time,
And God will enact Justice on those who denied His Gift and its Power.

1/27/2021

Feet dragging, has it been a long day?
Eyes smiling, what do you look forward to?
Friends laughing, what’s their inside joke?
Legs sprinting, are you late for class?
Voice yelling, why are you so passionate?
Face beaming, do you love the snow?
Coat lacking, are you unprepared or just used to it?
Arms waving, who are you excited to see?

Mouth silent, what thoughts are behind those eyes?
Stride confident, what trials have you overcome?
Back bent, how many books do you carry?
Dress exercent, what opportunities await?
Mission apparent, will your task succeed?
Trips frequent, how many rounds are left?
Work efficient, what job will be next?
Air independent, what’s holding you back?

9/15/2020

I have a woodpecker in my treehouse,
He finishes his pounding and bows.
My tongue bids him a friendly farewell,
But I hope he never returns or fares well.

My treehouse of all places!!!
Why won’t he respect my special spaces?
It’s the only tree in this yard, I know,
But when I need peace, it’s where I go.

He stops and knocks where he pleases,
Who cares what he builds, I like when it ceases.
It’s probably a home for his family,
But how could I stand living more unhappily?

Pounding multiplied, sounding terrified,
If this bird seems polite, picture a parasite.
See it from my perspective,
And you’ll understand it’s not subjective.

‘Cause when my peace is destroyed,
With everyone I’m annoyed.
They’re on my permanent bad side,
Made out to be turbulent bad guys.

I’m struggling to bring this metaphor around,
And I’ve gotta leave my answer left unfound.
The tree is my head, its house my mind,
The bird is an ache, that I really do mind.

2/22/2021

Do you ever feel like crawling under a rock,
Hiding there ‘til the reset of the Clock,
Staying until everything is dead and gone,
Until everyone who knew you has passed on?

Life kicks the knees for diversion,
Then it drops the crushing burden.
While you cower on the ground,
It hits you again while you’re down.

I’m racing Gravity to the summit,
He’s always behind me as he plummets.
Relatively, am I really prevailing?
With him, I could be equally failing.

The less of Sleep I get, the more I want.
She’s a terrible tease becoming fond.
The hours of the night are unrestricted,
Anything can happen with dreams scripted.

My Thoughts sped off, jumping the gun,
And now I’m chasing my own cognition.
Are my neurons a waste of oxygen?
Why is the pit I’m feeding in suspension?

1/5/2021

I’ve been dreaming of a suntan.
Of flip flops, iced tea, and sunglasses.
I’ve been dreaming of road trips.
Of campfires, gasoline, and mountaintops.

But I keep opening my eyes to frost.
To snow, ice, and wind.
And I keep on missing the sun.
The heat, rain, and summer.

5/8/2020

Everything I see between the blinks,
I write about connecting the links.
But my literal pen is out of ink,
And my brain is out of words to think.

I see a cactus growing high in the rocks,
A trunk in the creek, its pathway blocks,
A squirrel, stealthy as a fox,
***** dirt, that’s not a paradox.

I see blackened bark, recent scars,
I see the ugly remnants of cigars.
Loose boulders, bigger than cars,
Leafy branches, shaped like handlebars.

I see the clouds, miles overhead,
Forest brush, a potential trailhead.
I’m getting nowhere, as I’ve said,
So I’ll try hard to listen instead.

I hear the creek, falling down the valley,
I hear voices, my blessed family.
I hear birds, their song faint but lovely,
The wind, roaring so aggressively.

I hear grass rustle in the breeze,
A twig snaps, makes the squirrel freeze,
I hear insects, leave me alone, please!
Once again I’m out, how about olfactories?

I smell pine, stronger than the rest,
Smoke, blowing from the west,
Fresh air, it smells best when I’m stressed,
Thank you, dear forest, for allowing this guest.

3/25/2020

Too much. It hurts.
There’s too much to think about.
I could write a thousand words
Without even breathing, but

Would my words be make-believe plots?
Would they agree or would they argue?
Would they be my feelings or my thoughts?
Would they be authoritative and true?

The wall in front of my sight,
Four clocks I can see.
None agree, but one’s bound to be right.
How do I know which to believe?

So here’s just a scrape off the top,
Just a taste of the seasoning,
Just a crack in the rock,
Just an ear to the tone of my reasoning.

Present me with a choice,
I’d favor myself every time, why?
When I’m safe, I forget anyone else,
But I can’t live life alone, can I?

Empathizing with them who have none,
Is like letting everyone pass you in a line.
To understand the ones in square one,
Lay down in a puddle for them, a bridge out of your spine.

A picture can store a moment up like a ****.
A memory can last a lifetime unchanged,
But eyes can speak better than a tongue,
And emotion can disappear before it’s explored.

Just like paint drying on a wall when it’s sunny,
Life is a great change to a new form.
Life is better spent in warm company,
Just like a blaze is fed by a firestorm.

False hope is always an illusion.
Parting ways is a detriment.
Misinformed opinions are confusion.
Saying goodbye is too permanent.

I have so many problems, but no troubles.
A ****** war doesn’t mean I lost, get it?
Notice what’s new and what’s rubble,
And which old things are due for an edit.

I’m a fly on the wall,
Guts splat flat with a quick swat.
I’m a mighty roaring lion, ready to ****,
Tranquilized by a tiny dart.

Walking for a week to nowhere,
Is like airing up a blown-out tire.
Crawling in the dirt in open air,
Is like watering a dead flower.

Reading truth without knowing it clearer,
Is like forgetting what you look like,
After you just looked in a mirror.
There’s hardly anything that weak.

People are like houses,
Calm on the outside.
Yes, people are houses,
Busy on the inside.

They came to the New World looking for a City of Gold,
Cibola! But, “How ironic is that?” I ask.
‘Cause our Lord’s word He will uphold;
He’s preparing His streets with gold pure as glass.

What if what’s come to be expected of us,
Is no longer what’s accepted by us?
When every day has it’s own excuse,
Every day is a special occasion to misuse.

I’m not perfect, I hope you realize that.
See me like God sees you, capisce?
But I’m thick-headed like a hard-hat,
Why can’t I practice what I preach?

5/8/2020

Off the ground, I’m in another world,
With only the wind to bother me.
What am I always so busy with?
I’ve forgotten what to worry about,
What a difference two feet can make!

5/9/20

Where are they now?
What are they thinking about?
Are they happy? Sad?
Was their day good or bad?

I hope you don’t mind,
You’re still on my mind.
Though a thousand miles away,
I wonder about y’all, okay?

I’m out of cell service,
Way up in this wilderness.
But I still have a connection,
That grows with reflection.

Left alone with my thoughts,
But I ain’t about to go nuts.
Thinking clears the confusion,
Identify comes with seclusion.

If I can grow with you,
I can grow alone, too.
Introversion will always call,
Still… I wonder about y’all.

4/30/2020

When you wake at last in the morning,
When you move on past the mourning,
Don’t forget about me.

When you get up, out of bed,
When you smile, looking ahead,
Don’t forget about me.

When you leave and don’t look back,
When you recover from the black,
Don’t forget about me.

When you’re new and have lost this feeling,
When you’re thinking instead of dreaming,
Don’t forget about me.

You’ll wake up, another day ahead of you,
You’ll get up, excited to try something new,
But don’t forget about me!

Whatever you do, remember me then!
I’m frantic that you’ll mess us up again.
I’m desperate to make things restored,
Before we’re worse off than before.

Right now I could die just to breathe,
I’d give anything to set my mind free.
Right now you’re happy, frolicking in the sun,
You’d do anything to forget what we’ve done.

Can you even see me cry? Do take a peep,
Forget it, I’ll just cry myself to sleep.
You make decisions to help yourself,
I pay the price, as you rush off.

This relationship is self-destructive!
How can I continue to live?
We need each other, so hear my plea,
Try to think of yourself when you think of me!

9/5/2020

How many times will this happen,
Why do I repeat these actions?
How long will I fail at the same task,
Before I realize I’ve never asked?
You’re waiting to bless my socks off,
But You are not a controlling God.

Some people’s wisdom is really humor,
Cuz they said my brain had a bright future,
So bright, it’s like I’m light-headed,
But how do they know where I’m headed?
That’s easy for them to say,
When they’re them; but I’m me, okay?

They’ve made exceptions for me and all,
But that don’t make me exceptional.
It makes me feel entitled,
Like I deserve better treatment.
And when I’m treated like I deserve,
It really gets on my nerves.

I’m scared to ask, I guess,
‘Cause I know you’ll say, “Yes!”
If I say it’s my best now,
I’m definitely holding out.
But if you see through and call my bluff,
I’ll probably walk off with a huff.

Before you slip into deadly habits,
Be sure to count your hatchets.
If you ever think you can’t wait for something,
You’ve got another thing coming.
Sometimes you just need a week in the dark,
To see that in Life it’s worth aiming far.

Change takes a wash with a rinse cycle,
Then a dryer for the tears by the eyeful.
Trying to burn it down? Fire works.
When it’s over celebrate with fireworks!
Can’t have a shadow without light,
But one day wrong will be made right.

I grew tired of correcting people for so long,
So now I just leave them in the wrong.
Instead of dumb, they feel clever,
But they’re duller than ever.
But what’s the difference, really,
Between thinking and speaking – it’s silly!

I’ve got physical pains from my mental problems,
I really hate em, and I’ll never solve ’em.
But I don’t have to when I have them covered,
By the One on that cross who suffered.
Yet I still feel the convulsions,
Every time I turn from Your instructions.

I don’t get easily excited,
My face, like my tongue, is quiet.
When you try to surprise me,
Acting all sneaky like spies be,
I shrug it off like I already knew it,
And you’re thinking, “Man I really blew it!”

Growing up, I truly learned a lot,
But how much was really taught?
It was all learned my own way,
Growing from my mistakes.
I only knew to act in responsibility,
After I failed and left myself in fragility.

Swords and arrows really break my soul,
But with words, I stop and think until I know.
Suffocation by my own breath isn’t comical,
With circular reasoning and faulty logicals.
Please update your bulletin boards,
Don’t send hate and bullets through boards.

I know how to shut down a conversation,
When I put my tongue in operation.
I’m a most interesting person, I promise;
But I’m bad at first impressions.
When you give up, saying “***** it,”
I shrug, thinking, “I really blew it…”

6/1/2020

I do laundry, four-thirty in the am,
Then hit my knees, worship the I AM.
They say a wise man has many counselors,
But a wide man hasn’t been outdoors.

All these pressures, they’re hanging over my head,
It feels like my head was hanged instead.
Can’t wait ’til you’re lost to ask for direction,
Before you’re attacked, seek protection.

Are the poor exempt from being generous?
Waiting, will riches make us rigorous?
When I’m ready for Him, I say, “Lord come soon!”
But when I’m not, He could come then too!

All the white-out in the world’s inventory,
Couldn’t ever erase your story.
If you were in the room, I’d be filled with fear,
Nonetheless, right now I want you near.

When I speak, I use the low beams, not the high,
I’m trying to break it to you light.
But all that nonsense talk, that’s bologna sauce,
Quit lying, you ain’t nobody’s boss.

Is he doing this because he truly loves?
Or because it’s what a leader does?
Being scarred for life leaves one dreading the past.
Being healed for life leaves one relaxed.

I write as quickly as I can with my hand,
I still can’t write thoughts I understand.
I waited for seven years to toss the weight,
But I was still seven years too late.

What more could I want? I have ev’rything I need!
I’m so dissatisfied, I’m so bored.
I have all the world’s knowledge, and that’s a fact,
I don’t care at all, I’m ignorant.

If you desire to be calloused to the truth,
You’ll live in a palace with a skew.
If you really want to maintain your balances,
You’ll live to entertain alliances.

Only ride the fence if you’re ripping lumber,
Jump the fence if you’re feeling limber.
If you wanna get going, grab an atlas,
And do smile when you arrive at last.

4/30/2020

They liked you, so they were liked,
He injured you, so he was injured,
It was uncomfortable, so it was avoided,
She ignored you, so she was ignored,
It looked at you, so it caught your eye.

You thought it, so it was believed,
You hated him, so he was murdered,
You desired her, so she was had,
You wanted it, so it was robbed,
You felt too low, so you got too high.

When accused of wrongdoings, you lied,
But the evidence found openly decried,
So you’re behind bars – death row assigned.
A date with the electric chair, what a ride!
But you don’t care, might as well die.

With your stiff heart growing harder,
Your excitement gives you power.
It might hurt others, but you’re tougher.
It’s only electricity, you’ve been shocked before,
Just a little pain and it’s all over.

But when, at last, comes the day,
As you walk to the chair – that final domain,
You see another in your way,
Strapped in, ready to take the pain.
The guard offers to release your chain.

What will be your reply?
This can’t be happening, but it’s no lie!
You can go free or put up a fight.
You can take the second chance at life,
Or you can push him out and die tonight.