I'm 16 and doing well.
I've got my learners,
I've got friends who I can trust,
I'm trying to get a job.
I have the most amazing partners in the world!
I've got a family who loves and supports me!
So WHY do I feel like a failure!?
I've got all these things going for me but
STILL, feel like I'm going NOWHERE!
I don't Have a job,
I have No future plans,
and I'm SO **** afraid everyone leaving me.
My mom says "You've got time. Look at me, I'm still figuring it out"
My aunt and my teacher have both said "none of your marks really matter until grade 12"
My friends have said they won't leave me,
My dad wants me to get a job,
My other teachers think I should have my career figured out by now,
and I've been left by so many who have said the same.
None of them really think I'll get anywhere,
None of them think I'm putting in enough effort.
Nobody sees how hard I'm trying.
I'm 16 and scared as hell.
I wrote this a while ago. I'm doing much better now, but at the time, the contradictory expectations others had for me left me feeling lost and alone.