Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
Sep 2019 · 117
Frozen fish
kromwellfarkus Sep 2019
Cold fish
Three kids
Pull away
From my kiss.

We can't go back
To how it used to be.

Bitter
Twisted
If she loved me
I missed it.

Expectation
To change
But I
Have always been this way.

Messages
From other girls
They say they have
What I've been looking for.

But this
Cold fish
Three kids
Is all I've ever known.

I have 3 drinks
Before home
Just to drown out
The noise.

I pull over
Side of the street
Just to focus
On my love for her.

When I get home
She's there
Ready to miss
My kiss.

We have crazy history
I think I made her this way
She has changed and I
Have stayed the same.

I can't leave her
Cos, I'll leave kids 3
And they won't
Ever forgive me.

So the question lies...

Do I stay unhappy
For their happiness?
Or, do I leave
For my happiness?

As a man, the rules are
I get to see kids 3
On the weekends
And sometimes in between.

Cos, if I walk
I walk alone
As my happiness
Is second to theirs.

Or, I wait
Loveless for 8 more years
Desperately try to repair
Bandaid on a severed wound.

I sometimes wish
I could give my kiss
To another
For always and ever.

But then, as a man,
I would not stand
For her to do
The same.

From my kiss
Pull away
Three kids
Cold fish.
Aug 2019 · 126
Drifter
kromwellfarkus Aug 2019
Drifting
Barely existing
**** of melancholy
Double pump *******.

Scattered
Disillusioned
Must be
Tuesday.

Less dollars
Than sense
Hindsight
Past tense.

Crawling
In rat races
Left to scramble
Through rat feces.

Skun knees
Disfigured frame
Alone
With only one to blame.

Time expires
Days wasted
Become memories lost
Penniless cost.

Breathe and bleed
Barely exist
Drag knuckle and fist
Continue to drift.
Aug 2019 · 120
Love thy demon
kromwellfarkus Aug 2019
This demon is fuelled
Brimming with ability
Poised and capable
Of ******* everything and anything.

Always tensing
Just during conversation
Eyeballing, fist clenching
Unsure, correct, politely swearing.

This demon is pent up.



This man, in the backyard
He just sits, and smokes, and drinks
Tapping away at his phone
He comes inside to **** and eat.
He says hello, he says goodnight
He screams at us when we've not done right
He sleeps on the lounge
He is a ghost.



This demon I contain
Its talons obscure responsibility
And I sit, and I smoke and I drink
Outside, on my phone.
Useless, piece of fuckn ****
Just, be a part of it
Your family is right there
On the other side of that glass.

This demon has strength
Of which I cannot break
Its chains are worn and not rated
Its strength gathered has gone unchecked.

Until... I just talk
To her, and to them
Be the father they need
And the man she needs me to be.
Consistency matters
Everyday is a new opportunity
To be stronger
Than the demon within.
Aug 2019 · 121
Kids on mute
kromwellfarkus Aug 2019
Conversation like old crust on bread
Affection missing the point
Intimacy long gone
Don't touch me during this song.
Sleep back to back
No more goodnight or sweet dreams
Maybe kick a thigh
During REM or when alarms ring.
Get told I'm doin it all wrong
Get told I have to change
Get told I have to change my ways
No wonder this stray cat strays.

She cant accept the fact
That I am the way that I am
Read my poety to my kids
The way that they understand,
It's cold and the wind still blows
Through my hoody and ugg boots
I shiver as I enjoy my own company
These are the shoes that I choose.

Slight one-liners, tongue in cheek
Don't care, been like this for over 4 weeks
Water off a ducks back
Silly ****, go **** yourself.

I probably shouldn't swear
But here we are
Tonic to my lips
Terrible hat hair,
I tell her how my day was
All the pros and cons
She tells me that her day was "fine"
I raise an eyebrow and don't give a ****.

My poor young kids...

Living with a rancid Mum n Dad.

Poor little **** trophies,
They didn't sign up for this ****.

I'm just trying
And so is she
But, we are two different versions
Of how life should be.

She doesn't read
My poetry.

If she did...

Perhaps we wouldn't be.
Jul 2019 · 171
Masking
kromwellfarkus Jul 2019
No blade will cut
No noose will tighten
No pistol will trigger.

The ongoing misery
Swallowed
Bones and offal
Let the eyes well.

Some words spoken
Cannot be unsaid
Let them fester
Within the walls of my head.

Unable to fly
Unable to ignore
Last red before bed
Awake on crumbed floor.

Open wounds
Stay open
Just to remind me
Of the pain consumed.

I will be
The last man alive
After they've all died
This is my curse.

Stay alive
With all the dead
My funeral
Will have to be self funded.

Fail at suicide
Fail at living
This depression has teeth
And will not submit.

Deep breath
Get out of the ute
Smile to the work crew
Make them laugh.
Jul 2019 · 107
How was your day?
kromwellfarkus Jul 2019
She doesn't say
How was her day
Anymore.

She sometimes says
What I need to change
My behavior or my attitude
Is usually the way.

She never says
She's strong, she's brave
And, I want her to be.

Perhaps, not today.


I try.

I fukn try.

But, our eyes don't meet
Eye to eye.


I think of her
Throughout the day,
I doubt
She does the same.

At times she fills me
Full of love,
At times she kills me
And all of the above.

So...

Tea is ready,

And, I should go...

I wonder, if she'll say
How her day was.

Fingers crossed
That she says so.
19 years together.
Still love her.
Jun 2019 · 73
The gambler
kromwellfarkus Jun 2019
Amongst walls
My pet hate
The screens glow warm
Up the ante.
Familiar nuance
Crippling addiction
Habitual ritual
Fool in tradies clothing.
Identity dying
Unique fades
As weekly expenditures
Folds into days.
Hide the losses
Ignore the demon
Just to feel
Its grasp over again.
Fleeting luck
Pick a corner
Where will it end?
Once every coin is spent.

I will not apologise
And this suicide
Will not pay penance
For my wrongdoings.
At my eulogy
Speak lowly of me
Tell them of the *******
I truly was.
Destroy all memory
So I can rest anonymous
The price paid
Outweighed the cost.
kromwellfarkus Jun 2019
Happiness is a lie,

The pursuit is in vain
As the world has been constructed
To give nothing but pain.

Your friends will depart
They will move away
And all you will have left
Is your disinterested family.

Everyone will be too busy
To come to your wedding
To come to your birthday
To come to your funeral.

You will finish school
Work until you're insane
Retire and wonder
What the **** happened.

You will despise your partner
Never get laid
Even a simple conversation
Will be like pulling teeth.

The money you make
Will never be enough
One day, you'll awake in your bed
With nothing.

There is no point.

Your spark will fade
Your drive will dissolve
And your stupid life story
Will never be told.

Maybe it's just me
Maybe I'm just being negative
Or maybe, just maybe
I'm ******* right.

Good luck.

You'll need it.
Jun 2019 · 104
Knock off
kromwellfarkus Jun 2019
Another working day done
Say goodbye to the sun
On the drive home
Stop in at the pub.

Couple amber starters
Sixer for the road
Farewell to the bar flies
Boisterous hoo roo.

I turn the wrong way
And continue on
As I am well aware
Of what awaits me at home.

She will be angry
And the kids will be crazy
I will seem distant
Outside, on my own.

I choke down my roadies
If only for dutch courage
Puff out my chest
And exhale the inevitable.

She is wild eyed
She questions my methods
I stand still, nodding in agreeance
While her arms flail in accusation.

The kids, walk on egg shells
To come give me a squeeze
They bury their heads into my puffed out chest
I kiss their confused brows.

I help with dinner
I help with dishes
I have nothing to say
To the missus.

As much as I love her
As much as I care
When ever I'm home
I'm never actually there.

She rips into me
Just before bed
So, I sleep on the couch
To avoid the discomfort.

I awake before my alarm
Quietly, organise my ****
Walk out the door and sigh
It may be a long day at work today.
May 2019 · 125
Astray
kromwellfarkus May 2019
Only if you want.
Here is my outstretched hand,
Soft yet scarred, for you to hold,
It's all I can afford.

This exquisite piece I made for you,
In my head,
For your senses to swoon,
Against your will.

Just to show you,
The edge of the knife,
The cusp of the moon,
A heartbeat of life.

I stay astray,
Just to to think of the right words to say
But, when it comes time,
You were there, and I was away.

It's all  I can afford,
Soft, yet scarred, for you, to hold,  
Here, is my outstretched hand,
Only if you want.
May 2019 · 92
Once at Eleven
kromwellfarkus May 2019
Amongst the midst of violence and kiss,
Between caress and clenched fist,
A lost dream soul, heart embered coal,
Skin as thick as the next.

Wince and cringe after each binge,
Focus, as feathers fall from wing,
Complex sphere, edges adhere
To anxiety, paranoia, and shiny things.

Collapsing as flesh, takes deep final breath,
Tries to explain in a mere sentence,
But, basics are lost in riddles and fore thought,
In meetings, supposed to be emails.

Spawns with eyes much like mine,
Coil and suffocate in innocence sublime,
Naive souls, individual yet trefoil,
Make the empty struggle worthwhile.

Deal and dance with demons,
As you do, on the daily,
Play the game, but take no shame,
In pouring a glass at eleven A.M.
May 2019 · 97
Mere male
kromwellfarkus May 2019
I was prepared
To follow you
To the ends of the earth
But, you said no.

I fell in love
But didn't bother
To tell you.

I was prepared
To leave my life behind
But, it was too much too soon
For you.

You were honest
And, the truth hurt
So, I accepted the fact
I'd never be with you.

I ran circles
Chased my tail
Just to end up
Where I started.

I remember
Everything my memory allows
And I will always
Feel the same.

I am not worth
Your company
I am well aware
That you are a pipe dream.

So, now what to do?
Stuck between suicide and lifes struggle
Don't want to live
Yet, too young to die.

Unable to begin again
Unsure of how to express how I feel
Don't want to scare you away
Unable to decipher anything.

Silly boy
When will you learn
Every bridge you build
Does not need to be burned.

Childish man
When will you understand
Love is not a lifestyle
It is a commitment.

Foolish male
How will this end
Your soul mate is a myth
Not found within a kiss.

Stupid bloke
Swallow the smoke
She's waiting for you
At home.

She loves you
She always has
So do your children
You're insulting all of them.

Go home
Kiss all brows
Cook dinner
And love what you have.

Some day soon
You will wake up old
Listen to this angel of logic
And do what you've been told.

I love you.
Apr 2019 · 126
Choose
kromwellfarkus Apr 2019
Before I begin, I'll finish my can,
Sweetest crush beside others laid slain,
Roll a dart for good measure,
Painful pleasure.

Sparkinsons cure
Lights the way to the fuse,
Inhale and consume
Head spins,unfortunately resume.

The constant is resonant.

The background noun
As a half chewed minty,
Half chewed clown.

All is the same,
Yet not the same at all.

Speculation equals concern,
So, don't worry, be happy,
You cannot predict the outcome,
Of any scenario, not one.

You have four options...

Dig,
Breathe,
Drown or
Burn.

Choose.






I chose drown, just so you know.
Apr 2019 · 269
Sit.
kromwellfarkus Apr 2019
Sit.
Sit with me.
I do not want to talk.

Just, sit.

Everything's ******,
Everyone sux.

I too am fluent,
In silence.

See you tomorrow,
In reality or memory,
It doesn't really matter,

I'll still be here.
Mar 2019 · 170
Happiness vs Righteousness
kromwellfarkus Mar 2019
Do you want to be happy?

Or

Do you want to be right?

This is what he asked me,
On hole number nine.

Well, I said (with a head full of lead),
I want both of these things,
I have an opinion
And it's worth contemplation.

As he took his stance,
And positioned to hit,
On the back swing, he said,
Your opinion aint worth ****.

We argued back and forth,
Until the eighteenth,
Until he turned and said
So, you want to be right?

Silence as we packed our clubs,
Separate cars, straight to the pub,
I told him, fine have it your way,
He nodded and said,

See?

It's easier being happy.
Mar 2019 · 115
Amiss
kromwellfarkus Mar 2019
Something is wrong
Something is amiss
Deep within me
It doesn't make sense

Try as I might
Progress seems void
End up in a riddle
Alone and annoyed

Problems made mine
Which I may have made
Tickle and excite
Destroy and decay

I feel it deep inside
Between anxiety and clenched fist
Something is wrong
Something is amiss.
Feb 2019 · 118
Birthday 9.75
kromwellfarkus Feb 2019
Up at dawns crack
Smoke, coffee, ****, shower
Hi vis attire
Out the door.

Rock up at the office
Alarm, lights, air conditioning
Laptop, finish iced coffee
Begin the toil.

The blur soon ensues
Clouds behind masks
Behind eyes
Deep within clouded minds.

Cease the toil
Finish beer, Laptop
Air conditioning, lights, alarm
Leave the office.

On my drive home
I realise
It's my birthday
Continue to drive.

Birthday
Nine
Point seven five.

In the door
Hi vis attire
Shower, ****, coffee, smoke
Best get to bed
Up at dawns crack.
Feb 2019 · 121
No sleep for the righteous
kromwellfarkus Feb 2019
I wake up early, quietly excited,
As it is the last day of work.

I get to the workshop half an hour before due,
Just to get it done.

They all file in, around the same time,
Exhausted from a year of toil,
Cigarettes and insulting chatter,
As the kettle continues to boil.

Midday arrives, not soon enough,
They wait for my ok or my nod,
I set up my instant reply on email,
And close this ******* laptop.

On my feet, I give the wave,
They come sprawling in,
Advance to the fridge, straight to the beer,
Lets forget about work, and dribble some ****.

Twenty one days, away from this place,
Fingers crossed I don't get bored,
We share memories of terrible jobs,
And the endurance required to complete them.

Twenty two days later,
I unlock as the sun rises,
Sigh to myself and think back,
Here we go again...
Feb 2019 · 239
Fire smiles
kromwellfarkus Feb 2019
Sit in the fire and smile
Tell a joke
Make them laugh
All the while, burning.

A wink and a nod
Just to advise
The blood still flows
In veins amongst bones.

Collect routine days
As feeble forgotten memories.

It all builds
I feel it, building
Deep within
Rice paper skin.

I may errupt
I may contain
For now, sit in the fire
And smile.
Feb 2019 · 100
Shoes to fill
kromwellfarkus Feb 2019
I will be
The man you could not be
I will show love
Where you could not,
I will be there
For their recitals and events
It does not matter
If they couldn't see me.

I will be
The server of their meals
The cleaner of their dishes
The chauffeur of their adventures,
I will be
The healer of their wounds
Their teacher amongst their chaos
The silence in all the noise.

I will be
The father I never had
The pride when they introduce Dad
The strength when they are sad
I will be
A male role model
The angel on your shoulder
The smart **** remark to your stupid questions.

Just you wait kiddo
As you get older
I will always be here
To help you get stronger,
Just so you know
Your Mum taught me everything
Without her support and dedication
Our relationship would be nothing.

So, when you look to me
Know, that I look to her
As she is the key
To our comfortable open door.

Know that I love you
I'd sley any dragon for you
Regardless of what you put me through
I'd pay any price to see you happy.

Cos I'm your Dad
Your old man, the old boy
And I will break every bone in my body
For your pursuit of happiness.
Feb 2019 · 154
Blue collar
kromwellfarkus Feb 2019
The alarm goes off at five twenny two
My alarm is a Lion King song
When the sun rises...
In the movie, at the start, that song.

Coffee n smoke.

White n two,
In my peripherals,
Work kit beside the glass cabinet,
Waiting for me to shower.

Time ticks, hot water alarms
Triggers get dressed.

Wallet, keys, phone, smokes, lighter,
Check.
Rogie.
So... les go.

Turn the key
Slow revs
Try not to wake
The sleepin babes,
Music set to twenny two
From the nigh before
Down the road, I know
The best lane to sit in.

Iced coffee beside me,
From home fridge or servo,
Ciggy lit, right arm elby out the winda,
Enjoying the calm before the storm.

The code to the place
I spend most of my time
Is nineteen oh one
That's when I say good mornin,

To an empty warehouse.

An thats what begins
The start of each day
Of every
Working week.
Feb 2019 · 127
Earn
kromwellfarkus Feb 2019
Actualized dependencies
Total recordable injury frequency rate
Moving forward...

Go **** yourself.

I am suddenly "in"
Against my will
Amongst corporate drones
Forever on their phones.

Their sentences are cryptic
Their question are trivial
I sit there, complexed
Listening to their drivel.

Acronyms flow freely
From their forked tongues
I ask a menial question
Only to be scoffed upon.

As my brow furrows
And my chest tightens
I clench my fists
Withholding under the desk.

This is a boys club
Of overly cologned men
Clean cut with ***** paws
Suit and tie, the works.

It is my turn to speak
I stand and I ask
Were you lads always like this?
Who started this stupid stance?

I explain realistically
This is what affects our reality
These tasks and these problems
Are you lads even listening?

Once the silence gets too much
I take my seat
Every man in this room
Loses their job within a week.

They are given the flick
And I am given a raise
In high-vis, I carry on
Given obligatory praise.

I decline the raise
I spread it across my crew
As they are the gentleman
Deserving the recognition.

I return to my office
Answering emails and calls
Just another day
At big fat stupid work.
Feb 2019 · 93
Sapling
kromwellfarkus Feb 2019
I used to hold him in one arm
Now he stands just as tall
He measures his height against mine
To compare and gloat.

I used to be his number one
Kiss his sores and smack his ***
Now he's just on Instagram
Making friends with strangers.

I see through his silly lies
I understand his silly angst
I try not to get overly mad
To this son of Dad.

He tests my limits
Pushes my buttons
I enforce that he understands
Consequences to his actions.

It wont be long
And he'll be gone
My first born
And oldest son.

Already I miss him
And he's still here
I look forward to the day
We can reminisce over a beer.

He will join me
In work, as an electrician
I will teach him my ways
I will teach him everything.

When we knock off
And he comes over for dinner
Me and his mum
Will make sure it's his favourite.
Feb 2019 · 128
Glass heart
kromwellfarkus Feb 2019
This brittle heart I was given
Covered in glue and silicon
Bandages and sticky tape
Barely beats nowadays.

So easily hurt, damaged and bruised
So easily deceived, ***** and used
My outer is strong, focused and clean
Yet, my inner is lost in a weak mans dream.

You ask for help, I give it
You ask for monetary unit
You demand my love, but give back only angst
And I fall in a heap, despite all my strength.

I close my eyes, amidst conversation
And you see this as a misunderstanding
I am just gathering my wits, can't you see?
It's hard to think, with a head full of sea.

I try to get my point across
But you rant and rave and get cross
I swallow my pride and words
Just to appease your requirements.

So, here I am, on my own, with you all
Loving my life, yet hating it all
You don't care if I fall
As long as I pay every toll.

Well, *******, and your fickle ways
I have one last breath, just for you
As I flip the bird and walk out the door
You will see, only then, what you've lost.

This brittle heart is all I have
It still beats, it still does its thing
When I recieve your apology text
I'll try my best, not to reply.
Jan 2019 · 141
Me n her
kromwellfarkus Jan 2019
The anticipation
Before her kiss
Is a lump in my throat
Of a half swallowed fist.

She can can be so mean
She can be so sweet
I feel like I'm winning
I feel like I forfeit.

I try so hard
To appease her needs
But I am just a mere male
Dealing with my own ****.

I am so selfish
I am so needy
All I want
Is for her to want me.

I take her on adventures
I buy her awesome things
I make her laugh, I make her ******
I love her more than I care to imagine.

I do her dishes
I cook her meals
I read her poetry
I pay her bills.

I work so hard
At work and at home
I give my time to my children
So she has time on her own.

She gives me angst
She breaks my heart
But, I am a man
So, I must keep it to myself.

I choose her
I choose this
I choose the anticipation
Before her kiss.
Dec 2018 · 175
After the sweetener
kromwellfarkus Dec 2018
Just gimme a minute,
I don't get it,
What the ****
Are you talking about.

Echoes in my brain cave,
Tearing tender flesh,
Your poison tone
Drops an eyelid in quiver.

Blink hard twice or thrice,
Just to regain focus,
I am the harvest,
And they are the locust.

Lost during conversation,
Dreaming between scenarios,
Just so's youse knows,
Mum's the word (tap the nose).

What the ****
Was I talking about?
I don't get it,
Just gimme a minute.
Dec 2018 · 515
Let
kromwellfarkus Dec 2018
Let
Before I allowed
The world to break me,
I was stronger, keen and able

Now, incoherent and disabled.

The dream was just a fable,
Just put food on the table,
Alone, reminisce and ramble...

To the breeze, I mumble.

Another ale to soothe the blues,
Another cone to poke the bruise,
Another cigarette to calm the nerves,
Another circle to dance within.

Now, incoherent and disabled,
I was stronger, keen and able,

Before I allowed,
The world to break me.
Dec 2018 · 712
Wisdom in a biscuit
kromwellfarkus Dec 2018
Haikus are stupid,
And sometimes, they don't make sense...
Refrigerator.
Word.
Dec 2018 · 310
Camp Nowhere
kromwellfarkus Dec 2018
All my meals come from cans,
Fire produced for heat and light,
Dirt carpet, trees for walls,
My ceiling is painted sky.

We amble through chatter,
One-liners, quick banter,
Once I hear silence and breeze,
It doesn't seem to matter.

My lounge suite is an old chair,
Covered in ash, stinking of beer,
Brought from home, now a part of me,
And part of my home that I brought with me.

With left leg sprawled where my arm should be,
And my back angled in such a way,
Head tilted on the edge of the back rest,
This is exactly where I should be.

As the sun sets and the sky does its thing,
All the wildlife around sings its goodnight hymn,
We cheers and rejoice, me and thoughts,
And the apprentice, across from the fire pit.

An angry, empty belly quivers and roars,
It's time to feed the beast within,
All my meals come from cans,
But, I forgot my can-opener.
I work away a lot, we often camp, swags usually. Disconnecting is the best way to reconnect.

Good times.
Dec 2018 · 166
Family jewels
kromwellfarkus Dec 2018
Its been a few months now
I've been home
She asked if we could make it work
I ensured her, we could.

At the beginning
It was all love
All ***, all muscle
All flex.

Routine arrives
Raises its brow
Settles, as dust
Covered in rust.

Familiar nuance
Dishes and dinner
Laughter and mayhem
Lego fidget spinner.

I go to work
They go to school
She folds my clothes
I'm unsure of where they go.

This ghost tints
No longer invisible
Our photos sit proudly
Upon window sill.

We have grown through distance
Strengthened from afar
I have what I've always had
I just never knew what it was.

It's family
It's love
It is all
The above.
Dec 2018 · 153
Flesh and bone
kromwellfarkus Dec 2018
Once flesh, now bone
Once bone, now tooth
Once innocent
Now fuckn uncouth.

Light behind closed eyes
Ignite iris and char sight
Rose coloured glasses
Misplaced.

They love me
They leave a light on for me
But, I still utilise
The light behind closed eyes.

Now I'm home
I'll hold you
With your arms
By your side.

Sigh.

Sickly circles
And a rash
That won't seem to go
Once flesh, now bone.

— The End —