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Butterfly Nov 2018
I have nothing to say.
Yet, there are thoughts,
that haphazardly float around in my brain,
Randomly colliding with bits and pieces of sense and meaning...

This is logic...,
"This is mania...,
What am I thinking!?"


Other times my mind is a vaccum.

Nothing...,

Nothing...,

"Please pick up."
.......
.......

"Please, please pick up."
........
........

"SAY SOMETHING!!!"

But it doesn't.
Atleast not yet.
Not when I want it too.

So I go about my business.
I do what i have to,
I smile, and I speak little.
They think I'm quiet but,
It's just that,
I have nothing to say.
Butterfly Nov 2018
I hate myself so much right now
But I love God.
Does that mean I love myself?
I'm so confused!
How can I say I love God, but not love myself?
I mean, it's me for Christ's sake!
The person I live with, in.
The one person I should know better than anyone else in this universe.

Maybe that's the problem.
I don't know me.
Atleast not anymore.
God knows me,
Better than anyone else does.
He knew me before I was even thought of.
He created me, formed me in my mother's womb.
See, he has every right to love me,
to love his creation,
what he calls his masterpiece.
But I don't have to,
Because i can't love what I don't know.


The artist can look at it's painting and deem it perfect
But me glancing at myself?
I guess the light is shining on me at a weird angle,
Because I see nothing special.

— The End —