Underneath the ocean waves
I seek for what my heart craves
Engrave behave
I'm not a slave
and this is just a phase

In the depth that's where my heart lies
And God knows I tried
but you lied
it can't be simplified
I amplified
and left you behind

I can feel the greatness in my veins
But I don't know how to bend it
How do you turn art out of pains
When your story hasn't yet ended

I want to let them in
But do I want the attention
Will I do it for the win
And gain their affection
Do I need their opinions comments and thoughts
Or am I better off
Alone with my thoughts

I can set it free
Let it change and inspire
I can let them see
What a heart can desire

She knew she was beautiful
and didn't care to show it
but she hid a secret
do you want to know it?

Beast in the beauty
her heart was filled with creulty
She misled men
a dangerous siren
and a perfect ten

Her eyes was how she hypnotized
and before you know it you were tranquilized
Beauty now minimized
You were in for a suprise
her knife measured your size

A face of gold
her heart was stone cold
What seemed like the perfect ten
turned out to be the killer of men

Throw away those pills
Go and cover your mirror
Stand a moment and delve deep
Find peace in the exterior

You are beautiful
and don't be convinced otherwise
Don't believe the lies

You put the magic
in tragic
And heart you surely have it

From one soul to another
You shine like no other

Some things I have to do
and some things I don't
Things I should
And things I won't

I don't like change
but it's in range
it seems strange
because it only leaves disarrange
So I try to morph through the change

It's a good thing we're mutable
And we don't cling to the suitable
Even though I lack beautiful
I change as usual

So don't get used to it
get down and sit
and try to admit
that it feels like you're losing it
Here comes change
Split submit.

My actions my power
My thoughts my drive
But it's not nearly as simple
I have to synchronize

There's mirror images
And a ton of lies
Also the ones we call savages
and the endless skies

It's the language of superior
Whilst I only speak human
I'm faced with the burning inferior
while I act like I know what I'm doing

I grab my gasoline
and I call it hope
I fill me up
and burp a bubble soap

Like the usual consumer
I pleasure in a little humor
But when the lights go out and I'm alone
I overthink and search for home

You are crazy like me
insanely free
we don't care what's to be
as long as it's you and me

You colonized my mind
and here I thought you I'd never find
love and life has left me blind
then came you and opened my eyes wide

You where there when the walls caved in
I never thought you and I would begin
You made me want to sin
But instead you I'd win

I was trying to learn
how to make my love turn
But I could only burn
                                               The chemicals were explosive
                                                    and my love remained corrosive

Deadly love was what I was to give
In broken love my life I live

My fae were demons living inside me
My thoughts were feelings that only I see
I tried to **** them but how could I be
The destroyer of me
the one inside me

I scribbled down what I needed to say
Picked up the piece and threw it away
Like there was nothing to say
I've already lost my way

I tried  supression of depression
But I wasn't done with the lesson
Can't I end the session
I needed to tend to my depression
I lost my self-expression
Depression was taking possession
The lesson was already in session
The session of depression

It takes my breath away
It kills me everyday
I struggle to find a way
for happy to stay
a permanent gray
I've tried to pray
But all they do is say
fight through another day
What's the delay?
this is only foreplay
Obey


I never fought this hard
But still I remain scarred

I hear the voice of depression
Maybe you should **** yourself
I know it's not one of my confessions
Don't listen I advise myself

I know what I've done wrong
It plays continuous in a song
I am a prisoner inside my head
I believe the lies I've fed
Every terrible thing said
I've made my bed
Now it's time to lie in it

I am played by my mind
All the bad memories rewind
The thoughts I tried not to find
Are now in my bind
I am left behind
In my own cyclical hell
I've tried so hard but I fell
This is the story I'm to tell

Imagine being a little boy
Still obsessed with his toy
But then discovering a blade
And the feelings that doesn't fade
Singing a song that's been made
He finds delight in the cuts of his razor blade

Before he knows it he's addicted
And suddenly conflicted
This isn't what he predicted
The pain self-inflicted
The cuts are getting deep
And the climb is getting steep

Emotion is taking over
And I am barely sober
I remember October
When I thought it was over

I was bleeding and internally crying
Probably half way from dying
All I remember was the lying
Saying I wasn't dying
But then I really started trying
And I thought peace I was finally finding
Only to be left here reminding
Depression is still in my sighting

The illness never left
I can charge it with life theft
But my battle still goes on
While I try to sing my song
Stand tall be strong
They don't need to hear the wrong
The fight has been long
But I am strong.

I don't want to choose sides
And don't you dare force me
There is a fight that hides
One only I clearly foresee

You sometimes make me sick
To extremes that I only sleep
You lay it on so thick
That my heart can't help but weep

So then I distance myself
Till the storm is away
It's better for my health
And than to do what you say

I still love the both of you
But sometimes love is a arrow
Even if its true
It left my choices narrow

I don't want to see you fight
Go do it somewhere else
I'll go look for light
And listen to some church bells

Focus your energy
Let the wind intend
Let the water erase and clean the place
Let the wind bring pace to what must haste

Let the earth keep in place the pillars you place
Let the fire inspire the emotions in space
Let spirit turn you from disgrace

May your motions guide you to your dance
a chance at love and romance

May your spirit be kindred
Remind you of what the king did
It's okay if you're tired and need to sit
But don't wait to long and lose your spirit

This became a energy emergency
Best invoke fire
To sparkle desire
What you require
is a bit of fire

I remember feeling saved
When He walked in
smiled and waved

He said we're all sinners
we just sin differently
So drop the negativity
and sit with me

I sat there and He smiled
He tried to put it gently  
so I listened intently
He told me I was beautiful

When I mirror and reflect
When I show the error in their way
with respect

When I refuse to stoop to their level
and simply deny the devil
When it falls apart and starts to tremble
I remain peaceful within my temple  

This world will turn you into a slave
so be careful what you crave
Engrave behave
He stood up
smiled and waved
I knew I was saved

Faith in the unknown
Countless times my minds been blown
This world is not what I wished to have known
And true colours started to show

But I couldn't give up yet
Human nature still had some records to set
Will it **** them off? I bet
But I'd rather help instead

Be the better me
reflect and see
God made me free
Now let's make some ripples in the sea

Go dig a hole  
and bury the memory within
I cannot forget
but I can accept
Forgive and move on
have a little faith

The only constance is change
what is now will change

Your story isn't complete
Chapters still untold
You know nought
of what the future holds t you

You will cry again
But also fly again
You will fall to ashes
And rise once again

Sadly nothing can be foretold
And you are getting a bit old
But you never truly fold
Through war and havoc your empire holds

The color of my skin doesn't defy me
Neither does my sexuality
I do not lack morality
While some still seek for their sanity
In a world that knows no bounds for insanity

It's terrible to think of how many died
Just because they lied
They didn't know right from wrong
And thought they were being strong
I hope it haunts them life-long
And when they wake
they hear this terrible song

In these Godless times
In a world filled with  countless crimes
All we can do is face these climbs
and hope for the end result
to be beautiful rhymes

Staying when I shouldn't
Going when I should
My armour is cracked
But fight I know I would

Wouldn't it be easier If we just could
leave it all behind and go live in the wood
If I could I would
Standing where no one stood
alone in the wood

They can't reach me here
and I am lifted of fear
I've held them far to near
and I am ready for the cure

So I do my gypsy dance
and take my final stance
In lamination of the moon
my power will be here soon

Take that broken heart
turn it into art
They said
But where do I start
When it all just fell apart

How do I translate broken
When there is nothing left unspoken
Can't you see it bleed
It's broken open

If I scream
will it bring harmony
Will they see
I lost my armory
I stare at you artlessly
I'm still me
but there is a piece
I can never be
the piece you failed to see
the piece now lost in me  

What I didn't know
What I forgot to reap and sow
in the broken
You get the perfect flow
a dark beautiful glow

As I look across my lifeline
And find that it's all but fine
I wonder what my mind enclined
When I was at that point in time

Things that seemed sense
Now left no evidence
Things I could then explain
Now left in flame
Time has passed
What is now will past
Nothing lasts

Everything has changed
And it requires a new me
I am left deranged
By the thought of who I try to be
The attempts often futile
While,
I be the best me I can currently be
Keep it all inside like it isn't destroying me
Endure the ride wait and see
Find what they call free

I'm honestly sometimes clueless
the pieces of my mind glueless
But I have the endurance to do this.

There is no such thing as the perfect writer
Nor a perfect fighter
I take my lighter
and pull a all-nighter

I pulled it in tighter
and became the igniter
I have to shine brighter
I push paste on my copywriter

Add one to wiser
then decipher
look in the nerve fibre
find the survivor  
While remaining the conscious driver
You're name is Ivor

The army warrior
The last destroyer
I couldn't be sorrier
For my constructive barrier

When there's nothing left to say
And they chose their path
Will you give away
Will you turn to wrath

Will you fall, and say that you're okay
Or will you sway like a fairy of a new day
Will you be the better man
And say that you can
Or will you tear yourself apart
Forgetting about God's plan

If they leave
Let them go
If they come back
You will know

He doesn't do anything without meaning
That you know
So drop the feeling you're feeling
And let go

Let yourself fly
As high as you may
Don't lose your try
Ignore what they say

You can do anything
If you allow yourself
You can try everything
He looked at himself

I pretended to care
But deep down I knew I didn't
I didn't want them to scare
So I kept to being flippant

I didn't what to hurt them
Like they did me
I have a finer stem
Kind I have to be

Because kindness brightly glows
A powerful power
Bring thought to those who knows
And remove all their sour

Even if you don't care
You can pretend that you do
It's not much to bear
Who knows it can effect them too

I want to know
I have to see
I have to grow
I have to be

Read it here
And read it there
Try to understand
Everywhere

Knowledge is power
This is true
Learn what you can
You know what to do

I look for another resolution
For a permanent conclusion
But no matter what I try
I will have to say goodbye and die
I've been asking the same question
Why?
But it's always the same
The angels look down and start to cry
I don't want to say goodbye
I don't want to make them cry
But with the human label die
I will have to return to the sky

So I try to life each day like it is my last
and I try to forget about the past
Because life goes very fast.

I never want to get my heart broken again
So I restrain from love
I can't lie it's been tough
But I've been broken enough
Love again or tough love

Self love is now taught like a habit
but something inside me still craves the rabid
To be wanted
to be touched
To feel like enough
to be in love

To wake up next to someone each day
knowing they'll  stay
I'll take it today
knowing it can change again some day
I'll play this game everyday

Love is my drug
and I'm hopelessly addicted
but not at all conflicted
Because as I predicted
I wouldn't want to be anywhere else
Than in it
bring it
love every minute

Simply put
I'm misunderstood
I was black wood
from boyhood
The common no-good
Not one for Hollywood
I sat there
Misunderstood

Do I speak a another language
or are you focused on your sandwich ?
Should I scream or cry
Begging to know why
I must try
I am faced with lie

I just need some understanding
It's not like I'm demanding

I'm just tired of looking in
not knowing where to begin
Tell me is it a sin
to want to win?
a friend or two
and maybe you
I don't want to feel blue
So please make this true

If you let me I'll treat you well
I want to see you outside your shell
I'll keep the secrets I'm not to tell
I'll pick you up if you fell

I won't judge you
if you are true to me
I too have my vices
That you'll see
If you give me respect
I'll reflect
Correct
But if we can't connect
And I detect
I'll protect and reject the subject

I move at my own pace
I will not entertain
This is not a race
So please restrain
I don't want to replace
My main sane
Makes me insane  
Too much demons have been slain

The lights stops and flicker
With monsters in my speaker
You were a pleasure seeker
While I was thought to be weaker
The feeling eater

The monsters start to play
Better make way
They are here to stay
Why today  
Stay away

My monsters
became my sponsors
The demon left me feeling needing
My feeling it was eating
My monsters
are imposters
The constant responders

You've thought of it haven't you?
The idea that we are more than human
It's a rather big assumption
And who am I to be assuming

We yearn for more
But we're given less
No Solutions it this life
Try the next

We are given the word soul
A common cliche
But the definition sticks
We've all had something to say

What happens when we die ?
Is the end the beginning or the beginning the end
Were we fed a lie
Left with nowhere to be send

Time will tell
And we will see
Don't let this keep you in a cell
What must be will be

I write this with a heavy heart
Because it feels like I'm falling apart

They keep fighting
and I don't know with who I should be deciding
I want to go in hiding
But running from it is as good as lying

I love them both
and I am woven from their clothe
But they keep hurting each other
and I am froched to look at another
I love you father and mother
So please don't hurt each other

They had the perfect love
but even that didn't seem enough
I guess I'm still lucky to have you
to know the love between me and you remain true
Even if you leave me blue
I'll always think of you