Why am I always like this Why am I always doubting Why am I not allowing myself to be happy Why do I self-destruct Why do I want to end Why do I tell myself I'm not worth it Why can't I stop crying Why can't I stop thinking Why can't I let it go Why am I thinking of death Why do I want to end it Why can't I stop myself from think This is all it is
Laying there Smelling your scent Feeling the comfort that you give me Feeling your warmth Feeling the vibration of your voice as you speak to me I miss this I miss you Crawling in the bed next to you just to feel okay One thing I have to tell you "Mama I love you"
Where will I be in ten years? Is this enough? Will I be happy? Is this making me happy? Am I enough? Have I ever been enough? What am I doing? What am I thinking? Why can't I stop? Why don't I stop? Why won't I stop? How can I stop?
She is sitting there alone Watching everyone around her continue to grow She feels stuck She knows she is growing She doesn't feel it She scared to see it She wants to run She wants to hide The only way to escape the feelings she is feeling inside
Screaming and yelling Begging and pleading Nothing is coming out of the mouth of the unspoken She is crying sitting alone Laying in bed begging She wants help No, she needs it The pride inside won't allow anyone to see it Anxiety
Slowly drifting Trying to find love in every place Not knowing the difference between love and abuse Being used to everyone coming and going Using and mistreating Loving and hating When does she learn Does she ever?