I would tell you
If I could
How
Just how
Neurotic this life could be
Why the whole world is in a state of PTSD.
Of the worst kind
Between you and me
An alien invasion
Would seem a social occasion
These days
Will Phoenix rise from the ashes?
Are we all going to hell
In a handbasket?
Wondering what creative works will arise
Out of the ashes of humanity
Some forged in the fires of hell
Some catapulted into a brothel of insanity
Some say we’ll get through this
Some lost in the 3d matrix

Baby wants to go swimming
How neurotic can this life be
So at the end of the day
With thick bolts of lighting
Streaking fury
Across the night sky
Not a night to go swimming, but
Baby always gets her way

She is never where you are
Except even you, I regret
Can be an invasion of sorts
Like one trying to get out of ones’ own head
Here where she thought she’d share it all with you
Instead

Whether or not
You wanted to hear
What she wanted to say
I’d say not
It only matters that
Baby gets her way
And at that
she’s so good
Reasonable
Sensible
Demanding
Annoying
And somewhat cute
She pouts and sighs
And cries, cries, cries
Pity. Pity, pity
Oh pity me
Baby nurtures her pity
Like a fine cup of tea

How many permissions does she need?
We all have our boundaries
Trespassers all
Yours suffocate me
You pounded on middle c
Choked on conventionality
Exalted banality
never acknowledged egality
You doused the fire
Put out desire
How unreasonable of me
To think
We could ever be
Like a lion and a canary
And a cage to come home to
I really didn’t know you.

You apologized to everyone but me
Oh baby
Please forgive me  
I was wrong and
I promise
You believe me
Please don’t leave me.
I’m down on my hands and knees
Begging you, please.

You can
Cry me a river
If you can’t forgive her
Then serve one master, sir
I defer  
let it be her

Don’t cry for me Argentina
If I’m not leanin
your way

You’re quite pathetic
But don’t let it
Get in your way
Baby.

How neurotic can this life be?
These were all parts of her
Some she wasn’t so proud of
But what of it
We’ve all been there
Except for the saints before us
Whose halos get a little tarnished
From all the lies they’ve garnished
What of it, even
God doesn’t go around with a halo
On his head
Or does she?

Just a story
You don’t have to believe it
But. I know you do
Because it’s true

And that was her story
And now that’s his story.

Superman, caped
Superhero of your childhood
Who but you stood for good.
Kryptonite did you right, but
You know
******’s the new Niagara
Mightiness the new flightiness
Vulnerability the new civility
So, tell me why Superman,  
You are so supersensitive
Touchy and defensive less
Couldn’t you see my pain
That I tried so hard in vain
To hide
Hey, Superman
What kind of girl
Do you think I am
I’m not a damsel in distress
But, for God’s sake
Let me know
Is it no
Or is it
yes

Never trust a man in a cape
Says Jake
Never trust a man in disguise
Said I
Never trust a man who flies
Or denies his lies
Never trust a man who doesn’t cry
Never trust a man who can’t get down on his knees
To please, hey
****? Maybe
Prayerful always
  
Superman doesn’t know what he needs
He only knows what he thinks, thinks
Too much thinking, thinking
Cerebration celebrating
Mentation, mentation
Marching to mental notes
Of what to do
If I were you
Judge nation integration
He’ll keep you hanging  
Upside down, downside up
***
He’s a man of deeds
Indeed
All I can say is:
Where will you find inspiration
Never having to ask for help
Help!
Do you think it can be found
In the iteration of your vocation
The kinship of your friendship
The censorship of your feeling self
The pathological need to give
To be liked.

Stop
Superman
your s is shrinking
rip off your shirt shrieking
Pound your chest like an ape man
Modern man, caveman
Crazy man
Here’s my unsolicited advice
Stop being so nice
(Present company excluded)
Let go of the wounds
The controls
The potholes
The foxholes
Free yourself from yourself

Just don’t resist
Resist resistance
Is that an oxymoron
Or am I just a *****

Superman, can you do that
Lois Lane can’t wait much longer
She’s getting much stronger
And she’ll leave you alone
And you won’t have a clue
As to what to do
And she’ll ask you why
You’ll tell her a lie
It’s not really a lie
You simply don’t know why
Superman could never be lonely

You see
Don’t you,  
It was always about you
And it still is
From the time I was five
And you weren’t even alive
It was you
From the beginning
You see
Don’t you, darling
You were always my superhero.

Does your conventional mindset
Upset yet comfort you
Your constraint
A mental constraint
Stronger than….
Our man of steel
Who came to us
From another galaxy
Outside the solar system
And landing on planet earth
Stoically foretold
Of dire warnings
And consequences to come
For all dastardly misdeeds
Misinformed misanthropes
Past heroes of misfortune
And misdirection.
Have you met your doomsday?
Scenario
Take off the shackles of the past.
Extraordinario.
Superman Of the future
You are here now.
And now is all there is.

Don’t you know
If you go down in the battle
We all go down
You fall
I fall
We all fall down.
And London bridges too.

Hey you
Yes you
I mean all of you
Who think you know
Right from wrong
Left from right
Who ignites the inner light
Have you forgot about the law of one
Have you forgotten where you come from
Put away your noxious gasses
Put away your fighting passes
Let the mommy’s in with babies
Have we all gone ******* crazy?

Doesn’t humanity trump insanity
Doesn’t compassion trump political fashion
Doesn’t magnanimity trump calamity
Doesn’t loving kindness trump color blindness

Is this who we are?
Not by far.

Do you, Dear Sam
At times goes so far inside of you
That the landscape appears as magical
Carved of Imagination
Against the angst of uncertainty
And consternation
It has to be this way, Sam
For a song
A poem
A painting
To choose, to create

The multiverse cast
A *** pourri past
With a mind so vast
Yet

Yet
Yet
From my seat
On the coach, Sam
Where I imagined
That you liked me
And it was magical
We talked
What a strange conversation we had
I know
You said what you really believe.
Stranger still
I know.
I answered with unpracticed honesty.
Can this be so?
Or is it
Only imagination
I know.
Sam.

I’m a vindictive *****
And I know it
Revengeful, self-referential
Must I settle each perceived injury
Not done to me
Why can’t I let it go
I know it’s not personal
Maybe this is terminal
Till death do us part
Married to my Swinehart
But I’ll be ******
Whenever I get the chance
I’ll settle the score
At a glance
If my confessional is not very professional
If this is the spiritual path
Must have taken a wrong turn
Into a wrath bath
Bathed in bloodbath
My embers stoked
I go up in smoke
Why do I spew venom
Wrong way to heaven
This way to hell
Do tell
Of my own making
No use faking
I want to be in awareness
Then my demon mind takes command
And Demands
Vengeance.
Yes, I fancy myself some evolved person
While I’m cursing the driver
That just cut me off
I try to be like Eckert Tolle
Instead, I’m Ebenezer Scrooge
**** I thought I left it all behind
Said whatever came to mind
No matter how unkind
What is wrong with me
What ******* road am I on
I’m sure I’m the princess I imagined myself to be
Must in a parallel reality that I see
Or my insane mind sabotaging me
I tried blaming it on my parents for hundreds of years
Had the backing of my siblings
They often brought to tears
Nothing like a gang mentality
To bolster your insanity
That didn’t work
When I realized
I was the only ****
I choose the whole ******* thing
What was I thinking
Totally lost on a one way
Going the wrong way
I’m sure I’ll see the light soon
But it won’t be white light
Right light
Red light instead
Sirens of insanity
Barons of humanity
Come to right the wrong
While my slightly out of tune song
Blares obliviously
Unconsciously
Along.
When will the anger be gone?

What widows’ peek
A boo
Went into hiding
Too
Terrifying storms
A brew
The gods of change
Ushered in
And came anew

The rolling seas
Crash against a rocky shore
Many have been there before.
The unfamiliar shores a wreck
With the flotsam of yesterday
Some memories strewn
Sweet n sour shells
In the unremitting serfdom
Of play

Each wave
A world in a bottle
In a single moment
A single ‘I love you”
Till the day I die.

A single wave
Washed away
My world.

Now
Sugar and a little cream
Palliative potion of comfort
Elixir of coffered considerations.
Contemplated and envisaged
Morning brews,
Propositioning sunsoothes
Particles.
Helios sweeping mightlight across
The metallic movingmorn
Undulating nightlight.
Topaz infused
Daydreaming muse
Stirs the digested amnesic night  
Drinks to
  
Apollo offline
Drinks to
The empty holy grail of evening,
While Helios slept.
Hallucinating prophecies of fleeting images,
Succulent hopes of happinesses
Drunken inhaled trippy
Folktales
Of lore
And lay.
Oracled god of prophecy
God of healing
God of poetry
Healing lyrical music medicine
Hear my poemprayer
Hear my prayerpoem
Drink to
Elixir of life
Elixir of love lost.
Drink to
The elixir of a childless day.

The other day
They made me part of the coffee crowd
For once, I didn’t object
Choosing sides was never my thing
Sitting on fences was my usual go to
The single dad by my side
Whose children are all grown
The proctologist who thinks too much
I must have broken the ice when I said
He works from both ends
He watches CNN in the morning
And Fox at night
So he has a balanced point of view, hmm
Guess he’s sitting on fences too
Who knows maybe the joke was on me

The other day
What was it I was thinking
That you could possibly be my friend
When you thought I was so unkind
You would respond so quickly then
You were comfortable in that role
But I didn’t want to be that person
I didn’t want to critique you
I didn’t want to be arrogant
Sanctimonious, pretentious
I didn’t feel comfortable in that role
I wanted to drop all the pretenses
You wouldn’t let me
You wouldn’t let me get that close
It was all arranged so well
Nothing was out of place
Nothing to embrace
Displace,
Deface
Everything so neatly aligned
Everything accounted for
Every dollar, nickel, and dime
But someone left the cake out in the rain
I can’t remember who sang it
Time to hang it
Out to cry

The Other Day
Waiting for a message that never came
The phone a *** that never boils
But is that true
Isn’t silence your answer
It’s true
Messages come through
We just refuse to see them
No problem
They’ll be no hissing sound
Of the *** that never comes around
I’m a shipwreck
That’s run around
A digital dingbat
For a screen that screams
Wakeup
It’s time to wake up
Dingbat

The other day

The Queen has died

London Bridge has fallen

A fairytale has ended

No longer can we

Cling to naiveite

There’s simply a day

That separates yesterday

From today

I’m sorry

What did you say

I’ve narrated this way

For so long

How can we say goodbye

To childhood

It was a great ride.

We’ve arrived

And the Queen died

And I can’t say I cried

Twas only a fairytale anyway

However grim the end

But we go on and on

Someday

I’ll tell you a new tale

With a different ending

Till then

Stay out of reach

Let them reach out to you

No skin off your back

Playing devils’ advocate

It’s what you’re good at

Mysterious aloof

That beauty surrounds you

Is proof

You’ve come so far

Only to find

You’re back at the start

Wherever you are.



Fairytales come and go

But we go on and on

I’ll tell you a new tale

Someday

In a fairytale world without end

Amen.

Who needs company?
Not me
You see
I’m sitting here by myself
I have given my self away
All of my life
I have walked my self
Down the aisle of discontent
I have made vows
I can’t keep
Hung only from boughs
Within my reach
All my life
I’m taking my self back
My solo status intact
My backs to the wall
Lover, you’re fading
Like a dying sunset
Then you’re back  
Then gone
Ephemeral like a dream
My mind is broken
Shards of disbelief
My heart is barely there
Heartbroken and
Mindbroken
Alone and frozen
Only the frozen can shatter
Only the frozen crave the warmth
Who needs company?
When you’re a soloist
Lover, you’re fading
I have had to shut you down
As I have shut them all  
One by one, each alone room
I have turned off all the lights
It’s a dark house
Then as now
A haunting by hurting
Day and endless nights
I have braved the hollowed halls
There where
Scary monsters live  
One by one I turned away
Shut them down
I’m a soloist
Who needs company?
Who knows that better than you
Not many live there
You forced my hand
You’re my alter ego
I have knelt in your darkness
Your coldness
Your distance
For too long
As now
As then
You want a little warmth
Then look around you
They have left you
Alone
What could be better for a soloist like you
You can’t always have it your way
Hubris you say
You work so hard
For moments like these
They have left you
Because you have left them
In the same way
You have left me
So, I’m turning off the lights
It’s quite uncomplicated
You left
So I left
I’m not leftovers
If you want leftovers
Save last night’s dinner
Nothing like leftover- whatever
You’re a soloist, too
I get it
Monsters live in you too
I get it, but
Should you be alone in the dark
With all those inner demons
Tell you what
They’re not so scary
If you stand up to them
Just say boo like you mean it
They scare too
I’m a soloist like you
You scare so easily
Scaredy cat
Cats too are alone  
Except in some needy feline moment
Rare but they’re there
Now as then
You’re fading
Soon you’ll be gone
And I’ll be all alone
Soloist don’t hang with the flock
So
Bye, bye birdie
Where do all the dead birds go
No rhyme
No reason
No time
No season
Bye, bye birdie
My flights about to take off
I’ve overcome my fear of flying
So, I’ll go it alone

Love is not a possessive noun
Oh, but all too often it is.
When does the possession begin,
When does the flame become hell,
the hell become swell,
the swell
farewell?

Paw patch scratch
One floor down
Below ground
Where the ***** waters flow
Never knowing its ugliness
Thinking its loveliness
Brown water, groundwater
Brown groundwater swell
Groundswell hell
Makes a lovely sound
Maybe not
Swish, Swish
Below ground
Hush, can you hear a single sound?
Swish, Swish
Swish, Swish
A rumbling, swishing, wishing sound
a grating, whining, pathetic, hissing sound
a howling, fouling, roaring, boring sound.
A scowling, prowling, naught allowing
Unfounded sound
Doesn’t matter sound
Putrefied sound of the underground

Paw, patch scratch
Lonely still sound
Underground pounding
Punching bag sounding
Alphabet rhyming
Say something
I’m crying


The attentions’ not on me
What a pity
What a ******* pity
Because I’m so pretty
Don’t you agree
And if it weren’t for me
Where would you be
Pity, I don’t guilt
I’m so good at it.
Come on. Admit it.
But, I’m not above pointing out
Without doubt
Everything you’re doing wrong
But, that’s not what it’s about
But, don’t take this wrong
I’d much rather listen to a song
Then have a petty quarrel
Your hands can’t hide your thoughts
How caught up
How caught
If there was ever a cookie jar
You wouldn’t get far
You think you would never get caught
But, you give yourself away
Away, away, away
And the queen’s slave shall obey, obey, obey
So you make- thought- a thought-
Ok, but
A line you’d never cross.
And you shall remain boss,
Your good guy status is still intact
I’ll catch up to you on that
But, your thought crossed with mine
(we have a sorta party line)
I never agreed to that line
That really is fine, me I opine
That’s fine
That’s ******* fine
But not mine, not mine

Why am I yelling
Because I’m in hell with you
And I don’t know what to do
I fear it’s a small point I make
Because you never agreed to the premise
What the **** are you
A guru, a nemesis
***** you
And ***** you, too
I laid the premise
It is my poem after all
I can be ******* Cinderella if I want to be
Because ******* Cinderella is me
Anyone can see
That’s it’s true
I have met a prince
And it’s not you


He’s charming
And he loves me from afar
He worships the ground I walk on
He greets me with candles and candy
He serenades me with Rhapsody and brandy
We engage in exciting conversation
And it all comes so naturally


And he doesn’t ******* exist!
Don’t mind my cursing
There are worse things
For me
That’s probably the worse thing
No use confessin
To what you’ve been quessin
But, don’t ruin my fairytale
Don’t ever email
Or text me
Or talk  
Or look at me
See if I ******* care
You were no-where before I met you
Before I met you, I was without you
and I didn’t miss you and
I didn’t know you and I didn’t care,
Surely, I can get back there.
before I met you
I brake for my thought
What am I trying to say
Beyond having it my way
(If it’s ok for frank
frankly, it’s ok for me)
That’s it, I guess
If this ******* mess is mine alone
Why won’t you tell me
I hate messes
And try to fix them every day
But karma catches up to me
Because I make more than I fix
Could be a trick
Or could be me
hiding from me under a storybook tree
Hugging a tree
That can’t hug me  


I love my fairytale confessional
It’s so unprofessional
Obsessional
Impressionable
Digressional
Expression­ able
You know what I mean
If I haven’t explained
No need to complain
No ******* familiar refrain
Just maintain the pain
the unvoyagable pain
Let’s you know you’re real
You can feel
You can bleed
Indeed, you can cross the river
Of pain, once again
But never the thought that never crossed the line
Because you are blind


You are free to go
You already know that
Whenever you choose to go
You can go
You know
Just go, go, go
It’s just



I’m waiting for the crescendo
The ******* endo
When does it end oh?
The thought- that never crossed the line
The star-crossed line was never mine
And all the errant thoughts that followed mindlessly
Telling you what you should and shouldn’t do
Reminding you of the awful consequences, too
Good guys could fall from grace
Good guys don’t fall from grace
Nobody could put Humpty-dumpty together again
Better not to begin

So, I agree
There is no you and me
Stay where you are
Better from afar
So safe from a distance
No social insistence
Take the line of least resistance

There should be a quarrel.
Between us
But, there is not
I’ve censored nothing,
Saved some things-
For surprise
Should it ever get too familiar
And I don’t see that look in your eyes


It’s apple pie in the sky
Why even the apples have browned
But, I like them like that.
I, no culinary aristocrat
So, I baked them in a crusty shell
Told them they're doing swell
And hell,
it was the best apple pie in the sky
as far as I could tell.

Does the weather know its' winter
the chill came promptly
on the winter solstice
breezy in your face
not yet cold
tissue paper blue and gold
threatened to fly away
I sat that day
contemplating nothing
in shades of blue and gold
and green
I mean
you always need a little green
contemplated the meaning of green
light green
is that what I mean
what do I mean
who's asking.

Thoughts
Conditioned as an old leather glove
Fitting as an endless search of love
Jammed together as knots on a rope
Sliding a slippery *****
Me as Misanthrope
Lover of hope
Hater of nope
Dope.
Some smooth as a quiet summer eve
Chaotic as a garbage heap
Wrapped in twilight sleep
To haunt your night
With barely a peep

Hey there.
Over here.
Where oh where
have you come from?

A heavenly abode?
Where here is there
And there is anywhere.
Where thoughts play their part
Playfully
Awareness got its start
Necessarily

As you
As me
Speaking
Subjectively
Must we rethink
Objectively
Or is it the other way around
Chasing the thought down
Into the silent part of town
I have booked a reservation.
Into divine silence
A less traveled designation.

Seems so random
Yet orchestrated by a great hand
Could it be
Like as puppet master
Some ephemeral higher self
Prodding and poking
Pointing to directions
You dared not go
Pinched by pain
You don’t want to know.

Do you feel the push and pull
Of an authoritative hand
A gentle guiding
A silent light
And the pulsing prism
Through which you know
Yourself.
If the light seems to dim
Know it’s only a momentary respite
A letting go
A rabbit hole
One needed to go down
Something one needed to retrieve
Before another go around
  
To the sender of this thought
If you dwell in the shared silence
of connection
Two ends
An invisible cord
One of perfection
The other
Reflection
How to be sure of
Anything?
Only an uncertain knowing of  
A certain direction
Is showing.

Some thoughts
I would send back  
If I could, love
But never the feeling
For I am
The colors with which I paint joyfully
The words with which I speak lawfully
The chair on which I sit hardly
I was what you wanted me to be
To please
But that was never me
But a part of me

Just as well
For if every story tells a lie
How to know, how to tell
Truth be told:
Some would say
There is no truth.
Nonsense I say
If that is true
Thinking it through
Proves truth
If a lie
Proves truth still
Some tell tall tales
Some tell short stories
Some leave breadcrumbs
Along the way
Some ***** monuments
Signatories
For another day

I am
is  
Gods mighty vessel
Might you dwell there?
In the house of the seventh abode
Where the choice and the chooser are one
And on the coattails of god you rode
For awhile
As you
As me
As
Infinity.

To choose from
A potpourri of probabilities.
A thought repository.
A heavenly quarry
With a penchant for fair
A warehouse of prayer
And
When received
Then perceived
Leaving an indelible imprint
On the blackboard of spacetime
By a lofty stenographer
Replayed
To ones’ utter amazement
On judgment day

Awareness
as a field
of flowers
a ground to surround
Vivid colors all around
Shapes and sizes
Never seen
No in-between
No upside
Downside
Take no sides
Only a fire
To express desire

You are the dreamer
And the dream
Lost in a dream
Of yourself
You believe
You can be what you want to be
Royalty, celebrity, scoundrel, rat
Queen bee
Gnat
Sometimes the queen loses her head
Plays dead
What a sight
All in a daydreamers’ night

Dare you know peace  
But for only a moment
The dreams a momentary forgetting
From the shackles of separation
Have you awaken as me
Is this your dream too
Have I
Awakened as you

Infinity
To know you as me
To be free and in love
Kneeling down to your knowing.
Thoughts are the clothes you wear
The outer bank
A personal think tank
A familial thought bin
To recycle them?
To trace every thought back
Looping all the way back
To the start
Before thought
Before you
Before me
To the first shared feeling.
Love
Perhaps
Love
Then.
Like an evening prayer
You are always there.
Always
hiding behind
The clothes you wear.

Thugs in a tie
Feeding you lies
Delivered
On a golden platter
Heaps and heaps of
Propaganda n chatter
Eat up
Eat up
They cried
The more you digest
The more they lied

Some logo
Said go
it must be true, no
Believe what you must though
To keep you alive
Sometimes I think
“ Get me outta this dive”

Nevertheless
what broke the camels’ back
Lack of trust
Betrayal
Not having your back
Survival
More n more
Crys of war
People flood the streets
Looking for justice
They seek
Their hands red
With the blood of the dead

Infidels they said
Is this part of God's plan?
Maybe we’re all
Living in hell
Nowhere to go
Nothing to tell

Does anyone know what time it is?
Does anyone care?
Where are the peacemakers
Who used to be there?
Information
Hasn’t kept you safe-
Neither has that armor plate
You wear.

No use to hate
It won’t get you far
Neither has love worked
At least
Not so far.

I would cry me a river.
With all the cliches
I deliver.
But. That’s not the point.
Pass me a joint.

I could end it here.
Call it a rap!
Will it ever be over?
Not until we get back.
To Love

Ah, Love

Today O.J.  passed away.

Tiger’s Eye

Tiger’s eye gonna set you free
It’s nature’s own, a magic stone
Imbued with love’s energy
Life’s a *****, people hard to be around  
But, Tigers eye never let you down
No, oh no, oh no
Tigers eye never let you down

Amulets, charms, trinkets and beads
A turbaned lady, she said to me
Take this home and I think you’ll agree
Tiger’s eye gonna set you free

Confidentially, between you and me
For the price of two
I’ll give you three
If you pay in
Rupee,
For the price of two
I’ll give you three  
Tigers eye gonna set you free

Fifty for the bracelet
Five for the charm
Tiger’s eye never do no harm
Take it home, hold the stone
And soon you will agree
Tigers eye gonna set you free

It’s a jungle out there
Dark shadows behind every tree
Spells n spies, unwanted goodbyes
Endless lies and haunted cries
It’s protection that you need, you see

The lion may be king
But tigers can outrun almost everyone
And almost everything

If you’re looking for love ever after
No need to despair
Now, stay with me, stay with me
The truth is hard to hear
Tigers eye is the talisman
You always should keep near.

Heats you up with passion,  
Your wildest dreams come true
You could walk a lovers’ mile
With a love that’s just for you
So, smile for a while,
Smile if you can, you can
It’s good to remember, in the end
Providence is the master plan

If you’re looking for love ever after
Everyone’s as cold as stone
No fun and no laughter got you
Cold down to the bone

Tigers eye help to see you through and
That’s my point of view
Don’t be sad, don’t be flat
Tigers eye is not like that

Tigers eye
Gonna let your spirit soar
You’ll be needing nothing more
Walk and run and skip a stone
Over a tranquil sea
Be as crazy as you can be
Cause

Tigers eye gonna set your spirit free
And that’s what she said to me

To Choose or Not to Choose. is it a Choice?
For the love of o!

I learned not to choose when I realized the choice had already been made.
What do I mean by that and why am I telling you this?
I say choose to choose
with 2 os because choose with 2 os is not- choice with one.
Oh, no. (Both with one o) And I love os.
Now anybody who's anybody knows that os come in two varieties.
Single os and double os.
And then there are cheerios and xs and os.
Oh, and how, (both with one o), those were the days when things were simple.
An x was just an x and an o was just an o.
Now we have so many choices.
Do you see what I mean?
Kind of like the days when women were women and men were men.
And kids didn’t get to choose. (with two os.)
Yuk, we were so limited back then.
Do you remember the not so good old days?
Everyone knew who they were and they sure as hell knew- they weren’t you.
No choice back then; when men were men, women were women, kids didn’t get to choose and that was the end.
Duality was trending back then.
Now there are so many choices.
Like how many ways can you answer the question?
To choose or not to choose.
Well, any question really.  
It’s not that simple anymore.  
You do know, yes you do, know what I’m talking about.
Let’s get this straight, I’m quite alright, even endorse the choices, as long as we separate the single os from the double os.
That’s what really drives me crazy.
What about 007.
Why did he need to be double o.
Was there ever a single o that came before the double o.
Did he choose to choose with two os or was there a single o predecessor?
Can’t say.  These are questions everyone should ask..
Instead, they choose contrived, manipulated, untrue, fake, phony, falsified, bogus, doctored and utterly ridiculous theater and never concern themselves with the bigger issues in life. yuk
And it is, for this reason, the I take up the challenge and try to answer the more serious, fundamental, visceral, honest, ultimately and timely questions. huh.
Is choosing a choice?
Without hesitation I declare.
Of course, it is not.
Anyone can see that choosing has two os and choice only has one.
Now, some may find this explanation to be quite o literal, but I can assure you it is not.
At the risk of repeating myself.
A simple glance will let you know that choice is not in the choosing for it was- choice it would have two os and it does not.  
Not that there should be a preference of os over say xs.
Yet I really like the way it sounds. Xs and os, xs and os.
Cheerios. Happy os. Videos. Delirious. Serious. Not really os- but
That’s the way it rolls in my prose.
Corny, I know.  
A rose is never a rose in my prose.
It’s all about the xs and os.  
But, one shouldn’t get hung-up on os and neglect the xs.
Oh no.
Hey, what about the x ***?
What ***?
I thought there were only 2 sexes.
That was then, remember, and this is now.
Wow, I didn’t know you didn’t know.
Well, x ***.
Has a nice sound.
And since we're all moving in that direction anyway, seems the x *** just got there a little sooner.
So they just got tired of choosing (with 2 os) and when whoever does the asking, asked, ‘so what *** do you want to be in your next incarnation?’
After realizing the party was over they just shrugged.
I don’t know man. I haven’t had much success with either.
Oh (with one o) that’s too (with 2 os) bad.
Why don’t we put you down as an x.
Ok, I guess, if that’s what you suggest.
I’ll agree to an x for my next ***.
But, wait. What the **** that is an x?
An x explained, whoever the **** does the explaining, is a human that shares both sexes.
So, what do you say? Is it a go, (with one o), or is it a nay?
So, if you ask me, there really isn’t any choice at all because it’s already been chosen.
Who did the choosing? Who knows. (both with one o)
Me, I think it was 007 because he has two os and I love os and the hell with my xs.
The subject is so xhausting if you get my gist.
I’ll leave the rest for tomorrow. A wonderful word with three os. A subject yet to be discussed.
So now, I have to go and so I leave you with mucho xs and os.
** ** **.
If you don’t mind me saying so. (with one o)



.

My hair is braided, I swear
Somedays I wear it like a crown
And somedays a crown of thorns
Creditors keep calling
I don’t answer
Friends reach out
Reluctantly I engage
Engagement like a minimum-security prison
Hush, the weak have arisen
That’s some days
I long for, crave for
Nothing
Answers
Fulfillment
Peace
Emptiness
Apple pie?
French Fries
With loads of ketchup
Presence
Yes, That’s it
The present-perfect moment
Wrapped in gift gold
A pen that doesn’t skip
Except down the street
A pen that writes what it wants
Not what it’s told
Without regards to you
A totally naked pen
Unselfconsciously naked pen
A pen without permission
A pen without presumption
A pen without proper purpose
A pen without a penchant for perfection
(excuse the alliteration)
Without politeness or uptightness
A pen that flip-flops
A pen that hides under the covers when you’re around
A pen that doesn’t stop
Even after it runs out of ink
Pink Ink
Think ink
Until I get tired of pink think ink
A pen that doesn’t get bored so easily
Like you
Maybe I do  
And maybe I don’t
Maybe we’re two pens in a pod.
Oh, fickle pen
That’s so like you
Yup’ the pen made me do it
I’m a slave to the pen
What’s up with you?

Until Now

You have taken the words from my own
You are the pedals in my poem
A riddle wrapped in a rose
Cherry pie a la mode
A garden of poppy prose
Poppy I have waited for so long
Followed the primrose path
Running along to your song
Swung from the branches of your stanzas
Hidden in honeysuckle extravaganza
Picadillos and innuendos
Abound
Words sprung from fertile ground
Budding images messing  
A delicate balance
A lover’s dalliance
A vineyard
Of the triggered and the inward
Thickets of thorny morning glories
Questing bouquets of lily days
Where daffodils
Are dressed to ****
And a single rose grows
Inviolate
Yet
Stem to stern
I have felt the male fern
And the grass burn
And the willow cry
And the dragonfly fly by
In the blink of an eye
But I have never ever felt you.
Until now.

Arm and arm
Along with the setting sun
Sometimes they come
On a tightrope,
they’re strung
A feathery line up
An avian crime syndicate
A dusk who did it?
Feathers up
Buttercup

I see you spy
With your open eye
All the while
You deny
All the while
You lie
Then you fly
Away

Don’t cling to me, Baby
Even if we’re birds of a feather
And you’re very cleaver
What note will you end on
Depend on
Thoughts fly by
So do i
Just a passing thought
Sitting on
A bough in life
So rock a bye baby
When the bough breaks
So do i

You sometimes hear me cry

Please don’t tell me you care
Those are words I don’t think I can bear
Distance has always been
Your calling card
And intimacy so hard.

Who is the greater pretender?
Baby, you practically cut down the tree
Now you’re begging for mercy
That’s the way I see it
Mr. Nit-Picki
Forget it.

Waiting for a song
beyond right or wrong
where are the notes
where is the song
there is a song
of this I am certainly right
there
make a little space baby
go into the liquid night

doesn't have to be me
doesn't change much for me
just make a little space
put your head down
take off your imaginary crown
let it all fall down
let it hit the ground
where it's soft and round
you won't die baby
maybe beyond right or wrong
why are you kissing me waiting
for a song
that never comes?

Tell me why, if
We’re all I
In a Charlie Brown Pumpkin pie
Patch in the sky I
Each a small piece of the pie I
Some a flaming cherry pie
Some a Georgia peach or
Perfect plum pudding pie
Perhaps a strawberry  
Sweet potato or crumbled apple pie I
You a poached peach pie
Together-
we’re a mixed metaphor
whatever for
Pie.

All sharing the same awareness
In all fairness
No one can define this thing called awareness.
Is Awareness the isness of you
Is isness the business of God
Is God in the business of defining
A color by number world
Too much blue in the sky pie
A little less green in the scene  
please

Could Awareness exist
To let you decide
What kind of I-pie
To die pie
To be a pie guy
Or a gal pie
Or pie gal
Goldie locks or Goldie Hawn
big bad wolf  
Or Genghis Khan

Now hear me out
If you were God
What would you do with infinity?

Got it!
Without a doubt
Better bake a pie
This proves God is a woman.
But you already knew that.
My explanation quite reasonable
My logic unarguable
Once again
The proof is in the pudding pie
You should never argue with a woman.
Guy!
But,
God reserves the right
To change her mind
So next time around
She could make a different pie
Bigger pie, better pie
Or perhaps
no pie at all.
She’ll bake a cake.
Or build a boat
For God’s sake.

When you’re gone
How do I know?  
I don't know  
But I do

When you are gone
I put on my sailor suit
Blood red, ghostly white, but mostly blue
Crawl into my crammed craft  
A waterbed of not smooth sailing, but I  
Implacable in a turbulent feeling sea
Unstoppable, scanning, searching
Bobbing and buoyant with the surf
Dodging everything in a cumbersome path
Until you are found

When you are gone
Other boats sail by
What is she looking for?
Do not try to rescue me, other-
I am not lost, except lost to you.

My ocean, my seafaring friend
Curious current, unstoppable is
carrying me
holding me kindly
in its unfathomable depth
Until you are found.

2.
Like a dog knows
When It’s owner is coming home
Home is all they know.
When the place where you are
is not home,
I become rabid,
Like a mad dog.
Anxious
Alarmed
Scared
Angry
Hurt
Weepy

When you are gone-
I am gone too- pieces of
Not knowing, yet knowing
I am one with the needy sea
Seeking into seaweed ravaged ravines.
Old stuck and sacred scars
Hastening my tale of woe and foe
Circling my desperation for you
entrenched in my sailor’s saga
Dry kicking feral fish jumping
Drinking thirsty spiraling
fastened to a chain-linked fence
in the middle of an empty and wise ocean
Until you are found

Dog tired and out of options
Exhausted and retched
There is only one place

In a dug-out of my own making
I open my eyes
What I see
Ambiguity
And I can't be there
I'm trying to be there
I can’t be there
I’m trying to be there
I can’t be there
I’m trying to be there
He's angry
She's angry
You're angry
I'm angry, then
sad and hurt
Who thought up this twisted plot
Some call it life
There are better plots
Are there not?

Mostly right now
I’m happy
Happier than ever  
But, temporal like an old wave
Sensing the shore
Sensing its own demise:
just a look
Or a look away is
A wave is a goodbye.
swallowed in the arms of mother-father
You’re gone
But, I'm happy right now
Why should my happiness depend on you?

I know it's not like that for you
Really, I don’t know anything
And it’s driving me crazy
A part of the ‘what plot’ I wrote
Conspiracies make me crazy
Not knowing makes me crazy
You are making me crazy
Yes, you
No, not me
It’s all your fault
Yes, you

Ambiguity is not a kind bedfellow
Did I say not kind
What I meant was; ambiguity is a piece of..
The puzzle, what did you think I was going to say.
I'm trying
Please forgive me
My meanness,
my neediness,
my clinging
my darling
  
the very best part of you
no meanness
None at all
You get choked up on hurt
And try sometimes
but really you can’t
the words come out all jumbled
as you try to defend, to no end
because you understand
It’s not you.
Don't think I'm putting you on a pedestal because I'm not
You could fall from a pedestal and get hurt
I'm a realist
Before all
Then a dreamer
Mostly a dreamer
If I’m being honest

3.
This I know
The essence of what you are
And the essence of what you are not
Not the particulars
Those like lost pieces of you
Are they
Lost for a reason?
Or forever.
I choked on the word
I don’t understand my need to tell you everything
As if my life depended on it
As if your life depended on it
I’m not competing
Believe me
This is as much me as it is you
I just don’t understand this cruel twist of fate

I want to think I wasn’t the author of this sad story
Where there are no good or bad characters,
no good or bad plots
Endless words of explanation
For all I know
It begins and ends here now
Maybe I really am just crazy

Just a word from you is all I ask
So I can sleep

4.
I’ll show this to you when the time is right
forget about everything for tonight
If my poem is out of tune
Out of words
Out of rhyme
I’ll write another
And another
And another
Until the ferocity is gone
And I can be peaceful.
This is my wish for you, too.
Why do I get this way when you’re gone?

Why does the night cry?
Beneath a char colored marshmallow sky
Perfectly fitting the black-tied blind eyed
Soireed
Night by
Bye and bye

As an angry sky decried
Stratified and moody clouds pass by
They ask you to
Not ask why
Knowing you need to cry
Saw you hunch your shoulders
You were so very tense
You started to roar
Electric fly-by outcry

Then you tensely
Cocked your head to one side
Felt as empty as summer days
Where the light was so bright
You thought you would vanish
In a summer haze
Eminently either a flood or a roar
Helplessly, unpredictably more and more
And nothing more.  
And then-
It happened
It started to pour.

And  
As morning dawned
You understood why.
But it was too late
To reinstate
Bye and bye.

Oh Poetry
You duplicitous liar
You hide behind
Your window dressing
And ire.
Seasons change the
Ever-changing view
Sometimes it’s old
Sometimes it’s new
Your model attire
Dressed to the nines
Spilt onto a blank page
Goblets of not-so-fine wine

Aries, you indomitable fighter
Throw down your gauntlet
Of wronger and righter.

Love is found
In the fire
A rising phoenix
Of unknown desire.

The old made new
The untrue true
Secrets concealed
Revealed
Not just for
The privileged few.

Devolution
Evolution
Coming round the bend
Is this the beginning
Or the beginning of an inning
Or something
That may never end.

Loathe to reveal
Feelings you conceal.
You’ve been here before,
Just to be sure.
Is it real? Darling Dear
I don’t know.

Has it stood the test of time?
Define time, she said.
Well, this time  
Is behind
and not ahead

Then, yes
Decidedly no.
Oh, I don’t know
Maybe yes, maybe no
Many lifetimes ago?
How can this be so?
****** if I know.

Just,
Don’t let the cat out.
No doubt.
Out of the box?
Or the bed.
She said.

Is she dead or alive?
We can only surmise.
I think I hear her cry.
I lie.
Yet, it was still a surprise
To find the box
had been ripped apart
By a lonely heart.
Long ago.
And you were the only one
Who didn’t know.


How could this be?
You ask.


No one said anything.
That’s what they do.
Replied you.


You never looked.
It’s better that way.
At least, that’s what they say.


I’m keeping the cat alive,
I replied.
Again, I lied.

Oh, Oh,  Oh,
I don’t know.


So, you mean to tell me,
To make things plain and clear, dear,
I was the only one
The one and only one
Who didn’t know


I’m afraid so.
She said.
So,
If you say go, I’ll go
If you say, stay
I’ll stay


Unless,  there’s another way.

But,
Here’s the hook.
You must never ever look.
You mustn’t look.


You might **** the cat.
And I couldn’t deal with that.