i always feel as though i say the wrong thing.
i try to be funny but ruin the joke.
i try to speak but my words go up in smoke.
i try to be all that someone can ask for.
i try to cheer someone up and make them hurt more.
i try to fit in and always stand out.
i try to whisper but it turns to a shout.
i try to make sense but the words don't come out right.
i try to record stories but i don't know what to write.
i try to be needed but instead are driven away.
i try to listen but then no one gives me the time of day.
i try to speak and get cu off.
i try to be nice but in return get a scoff.
i try to sing but my voice comes out rough.
whatever i try, it never seems to be good enough.

so i have chosen to take another path
one that not many others would travel with me
and i don't know how it's gonna turn out
but for right now it seems like the right choice.
and i know it's gonna help me find something
that i have been looking for for a while now
but i have never been able to find
because of the road that i have used.
so i have chosen now to change.
i may become better, maybe worse
but i cannot say yet.
i just know that i will be different then
than i am now.
and it's gonna be one heck of a ride.

don't you just love it when
the people you thought cared
don't seem to show it
and the people who you'd least expect
are the ones who check
to make sure you're not falling apart
and then you find out
that you've been wasting all this time
waiting for others
who were never planning to show up
from the beginning?
yeah me too

hi
i'm just telling you
that i've moved on
to someone who might actually give me a chance
not that you care
but i'm just putting it out there
that i have moved on
past you
and your ignorance
to something that might work out this time
instead of something
that i wasted my time
thinking about
that would never come true

A shadow fell over us.
I felt his gaze
His face tight with worry
Fear in his eyes.
Hands clenched.
Eyes narrowed.
His determination ran deeper
Than his fear.
The words were so hard to find.
I shook my head
Unwilling to believe it.
I shivered all over
Even though I wasn't cold.
I rested my head in my hands.
I hate this.
But he had a task to complete
And I would help him.

sometimes i think
that pulling my eyelashes out
one by one
is less painful
than seeing him
and knowing
that he'll never be mine.

do you ever think about
what your life would be like
if you took one big risk?
what if it paid off?

beyond the lake,
the sky darkens
the lights brighten
on the connection
between two lands.

upon the shore,
i can see
the connection
between two lands.
that in the day,
was more defined
but now has disappeared
except for the
tiny dots of light
that reassures me
the connection is still there.

even though
the sun has set
the lights prove
that the connection
isn't lost to view.

your relationships with others
may start to fade
but you will always have
those tiny dots of light
that remind you
the connection is still there.

sitting in this bar
watching people in plaid shirts and blue jeans
do whatever they feel like
without a care in the world
makes me wish that i could live like that.
every day just trying to find the person
who was meant for you.
playing a guitar while sitting around a bonfire
and your friends all singing along
because everyone knows every single word.
driving down a dirt road
in a rusty old pickup truck
with the radio blasting and you waving at whoever happens to pass by.
then when night falls
you sit in the bed of the truck
with the person you love
and watching the moon
and the stars
while a warm southern breeze blows around you.
life would be so adventurous.
and carefree.
everything i wish to it to be.

i love my home.
but at the same time, i don't

i love my family
i love the friends who care about me
i love watching friday night football games
i love staying at the softball fields for hours at a time
i love being able to walk to the library
i love living next to a lake
i love the people that are here to support me
i love how many ice cream shops are here
i love the warm summers and chilly winters
i love that i have opportunities here

but
i hate going to school every day just to be judged
i hate how so many people bring me down
i hate that no one appreciates me for everything i do for them
i hate not meeting new people
i hate that nothing ever changes for the worse or for the better
i hate the inappropriate jokes that people think are funny but are really not
i hate how no one respects each other
i hate the lies that constantly come from everyone's mouths
i hate how much people gossip about the people they call friends

i want to go away sometimes
not forever
but just for some time
to see what life is like in other places
to meet new people
to experience life in a different way
i may never get the chance to go away
but if i do
i will embrace it with my arms wide open.

limitations
we all have them
the point where we
cannot continue
and have to give it a rest.
limitations
my worst enemy
always in my head
saying you're done
you have to stop
no more.
limitations
also known as roadblocks
stopping us
from making further progress.
limitations
why can't they go away?
life would be so simple.

now, i know that from reading the title, you may skip over this.
but please, let me explain myself first
contrary to popular belief, country music is not all about
trucks and girls and drinking.
it is about real life.
about heartbreak and passion
learning and failure
new experiences and adventures.
sure, some of these things include trucks and girls and drinking.
but the instruments they use
cause your heart to sing along.
the strum of an acoustic guitar is one of the most beautiful sounds in the world.
it is calming
and makes the artist's words fit together
in the most perfect story.
we get to listen to someones life
in the form of a song
that has just the right amount of slowness
mixed with the hillbilly music from the south.
i may not have the ability to live in the country
but the music that comes from there
makes me feel as if i'm sitting in a bar
hearing a guy in a cowboy hat strumming along
and explaining his life to us in a wonderful song.

I don't understand why
Everyone is always talking.
Sometimes saying nothing
Is a way of saying it all.
It's seriously easy
To just stand next to someone
In silence
And let unspoken thoughts
Travel between you and them.
It's calming and relaxing and genuine.
It makes you feel a connection
With another person
That you cannot achieve
Only using words.

You don't have to make fun
Of something or someone
Just because everything is quiet.
Sometimes silence is not meant to be filled
Instead it is meant to be embraced
And welcomed in.
We all talk too much.
We are so self-centered.
More often than not, we should just
Keep our thoughts inside our head
And let the silence spill into the air.
Shhhh.
Think a little more
Talk a little less.

Every action
Every word
Every gesture
Has impacted
The entire course
Of your life.

Think about it.
If you had done
One thing differently
Anytime in your past
The life you live
Right now
Would not exist.

You would have different
Feelings
Friends
Perspectives
Actions
The list goes on and on.

Nothing right now
Would be possible.
Your friends' lives
Your family's life
Even strangers' lives
Would be unlike the one
They currently live.

So make sure your actions
Words
And gestures
Impact your and others' lives
Positively.
Think before you act.
Or say something.
Or do something.
Because it can ripple out
And effect the whole world.

From a distance, you are there
I can never get too close
For I am too scared
Of my heart shattering

From a distance, I wish
That I could have the courage
To just walk up to you
And say something, anything

From a distance, I feel
A strong sense of longing
Of the friendship I had lost
Over the course of time

From a distance, I learn
That you remind me of the boy
Who made me full of happiness
All of those years ago

From a distance, I miss
The way you made me smile
And not make me feel so alone
In this ugly, too-large world

From a distance, you are
The one thing I'm afraid of
The one thing I miss deeply
The one thing that helps me go on

The one thing that gives me hope.