I don't remember how to breathe
It's mostly best if I could leave
How could I still believe
I was told "C'est la vie"
I'm always known as naive
You never failed to deceive
I really thought you'd help relieve
I was never able to perceive
Until I realized
You're make-believe

I am from Sunday School
The Golden Rule
From fidget spinners are cool
And late nights at school
I am from sports camps
Family camps
McDonald's with friends
From a sister that's rude
But never throws hands
I'm from a daily work of splitting wood
And sleeping whenever I could
From waking up with an aching back
Picking apples
Making deer crack
I'm from nicknames like mole
I love digging holes
From stolen shoes
And broken phones
Stupid boys
LEAVE ME ALONE
I'm from parents who smoke
Who drink
And having my dads feet
That always stink
From stereotypes of loving pink
Because I'm a girl
"I never think"

Another thought
In your mind
One step closer
To goodbye
Smile much
Laugh loud
Make jokes
Tell lies
They won't see the pain
In your eyes
They check your wrists
Not your thighs
They hear your laughs
Not your cries
Go look in the mirror
On the wall
We need to be skinny
Thin
Tall
Just keep calm
Starve yourself
You need to be pretty
Forget your health
Hate yourself
Hate your life
Welcome to
Your world of lies

She threw herself at heartbreak
Like a moth drawn to the flame
Patching up her broken wings
Just to try and fly again
The world has thought of her: foolish
She never seemed to learn
But how do you save someone
If they're convinced they need to burn?
There is a history to her breaks
Tucked in creases of her eyes
A museum full of moments
She had watched just pass her by
Each tear that escaped
Was a story she left unsaid
The words she never spoken
Stained her dampened cheeks instead

I know this'll probably make you mad
Have you thought about what we never had?
You're my dad. Did you know that?
The way you treat me, you never show that
Tell me: was I the problem?
I just wanted some love from a father
Not just the money in your wallet
I asked you a question and you told me to stop it
I wanted to fly but I needed a better pilot
You told me to man up but where's the man at?
I'm not tryna bash you I'm tryna tell you where I'm at
You know I love you dad
I'm just saying what I needed
I love the man I am today and that's just why I'm leaving