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Brianna Lee May 2018
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Strength is a fragile, fragile thing.

One minute.
I'm a warrior.
Sword drawn,
***** face in tow.

The next
I am putty
in your palms.
Transformed to tears.
Brianna Lee Dec 2017
Our time together
is much like winter.
Brisk.
Brianna Lee Dec 2018
Sometimes
it's hard
to stop and notice
the things around you.

My son tilts his head
up to the sky
and announces,
"mom
the clouds
are decorations!"

The clouds
indeed
decorated the sweet
morning sunrise.

Peppered in
nonsense patterns.
For you and I
to marvel at.

Decorations.
What wonder
to see life
through your eyes.
Brianna Lee Nov 2018
A good morning
Is feeling your
Small sticky hand
Wrap around two of my fingers
Telling me you missed me while you slept.
Brianna Lee Dec 2017
I'm sad in the way where my laugh won't be the same when you're gone.
How sitting in silence with anyone else will feel wrong.

I'm sad in the way that I will miss how
he rubs my hand in the theater.
and I watch him watch the movie.
Because his face feels like home,
I've memorized every feature.

How I can never erase
slow dancing to jazz music at your place.
How you never actually kissed me on our first date.

But realized this mistake and
ran across town the next day,
to press your lips against mine.

I'll never be able to make up for all the lost time.

who am I kidding,
I can't even pretend.
Nothing can prepare me for this to come to an end.
I'm so so so sad.
Brianna Lee May 2018
I've always found hands
                              to be an attractive feature.
                                                        ­            Long and slender.
                                                        ­                                  Gentle and tender.
Rough and overworked.
                                        Exploratory; searching.
                                                      ­                      A place of comfort.
Or
           Grasping.
                            strangling
                                              the life out of  
                                                                      my heart.
Brianna Lee Dec 2017
The funny thing about love is people are always trying to tell you how to feel it.

"You hardly know the guy, you can't be in love."
"You're too young to be in love."
We've heard it all before.
From my experience though,

Love has no time constraints.
Yes, love is complicated,
But it is also very simple.

I knew I loved him when
I heard him laugh for the first time.
when I watched his eyes light up,
while he talked about airplanes.

I knew I loved him
when he made me an egg volcano for breakfast
and we pretended to be his roommate's parents.
(even though I had never met his roommate before that)

I knew I loved him
when I sat across from him on the dock
and watched the starlight dance on his face.
when I felt like I could tell him anything.

I knew I loved him when
he told me he had to leave.
I knew there wouldn't be a spot missing
in my heart where he once existed.
But a spot that he still lived
and bloomed,
where my heart still throbbed for him.

Where I still smelled his cologne,
heard him laughing,
felt his lips pressed against mine.

I would cry,
boy would I cry.
But I knew I would love him forever.
Brianna Lee Dec 2017
What are you putting on?  Speed Stick Ocean Breeze I say. Old Spice anything is better he says.

Over the next two months I take care to put on his deodorant because Old Spice anything is better.
Brianna Lee Dec 2017
When the tears finally fall.

They will fall harder than any
summer rain I have ever danced in.

They will roll like rivers
down my face.
I will fall into those raging rivers
pouring from my eyes
and gasp for air as I begin to drown.
in the overwhelming feeling
that we
made a mistake.

I will swim to the surface
and cry out
for you .
But I won't be able to
hear you over the
cracking thunder
of my
thoughts.

They will fall harder
than I did for you

yes

The tears will inevitably fall.
But only
after I have convinced myself
that I no longer love you.
no longer need you.
But I do.
Brianna Lee Dec 2017
I am
Tree trunks, home base, hard rain.
Dark days.
Wild fire.
Blue skies.
Emerald eyes.

I am racing thoughts.
Violent love.
Morning sun.

I am not done.
Gas pedal.
Unsettled.
Laughter.
New chapters.

Leaps and bounds,
Lost not yet found.
Steady.
But uneasy.
See me?
I do.
I am.
Brianna Lee Dec 2020
I cannot hold in my palms

How many times

You've placed self doubt there
Brianna Lee Dec 2017
if you called me right now
would I even answer?
do i know better?

the thought of listening to your
sweet honey voice
makes my body tremble.
knees weak
heart beat
nauseous.

i don't.
i would answer.

i would hold my breath.
clench my jaw so tight.
knuckles white.
smile through the phone,
pretend that i'm alive


i'm just not strong
enough
to resist you
today
or
ever.
please call me, please.
Brianna Lee Dec 2017
I will drown myself
in things to do.

Since I can no longer
drown myself

in you.
Brianna Lee Mar 2019
I awoke
folded up like a purposeful piece of origami
placed delicately between two bodies.

Happiness
Brianna Lee May 2018
your love is like sun kissed skin in june
like the smell of sunscreen and the pool
like the glow of the green, green grass.

your love is like gentle kisses brushing my freckles
like learning the ukulele, joyful and bright
like perfect toothy smiles.
like long sunny bike rides.

loving you is like embracing summer.
Brianna Lee Dec 2017
In order to survive this
I
will
have to pretend
that
I
Never loved you.
Brianna Lee Dec 2017
My apartment starts to shake
as yet another train rolls through
downtown.

I can't hep but think of you
and how
much like these trains
you rolled through my heart.

never slowing down
until coming to a screeching halt.

I watched them in silence as tears fell from eyes.
Brianna Lee Dec 2017
The truth is
I'm alive.

But I stopped breathing
A long time ago.
Brianna Lee May 2018
I stopped writing pretty words for you.
Now I cry instead.
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