I cannot hold in my palms
How many times
You've placed self doubt there
Sometimes I have to remind myself that my mom being mad at me for going to lunch with my sister and aunt is unreasonable. And yet my heart goes from 0 to 100 when I get a passive aggressive text.
What is a normal occurrence in other families can be a war in mine.
I didn't do anything wrong. Sometimes I have to remind myself not to be anxious. Because I didn't do anything wrong. It's her problem, her feelings to work through.
Note to self. Thank my therapist next week.
What is a normal family
I never want to forget the way the curve in your back feels under my fingertips.
The way the skin on your shoulders feel beneath my lips.
There is light in these small moments that I can steal away surrounded by the glow of my screen.
Nothing is ever mine alone. Nothing is ever myself anymore. Who am I even?
Grabby hands reach for me
and through me all day.
I am a ghost.
I ache to simply be.
I am culpable for wishing I could exist as even a mere silhouette of the woman who threw her head back,
she lives in the dark
in the dark she glows