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When the hands you want to hold
are weapons

and the place that you call home
is desolate.

Where do you go?
When she's angry
folding a towel becomes
an undertaking that causes everyone in the room
To flinch each time a fold is made

her movements are pointed
sharp
like a needle
used to embroider the word
failure on your forehead
like a scarlet letter

When she's angry
you'll never see it coming
until
the pigmentation in her neck
slowly creeps
from ivory
to a shining crimson
piece of armor
preparing her for battle
preparing her to unleash
her barbed tongue

When she's angry
you tip-toe around
what you truly want to say
dancing on glass
shard in foot
you smile as if
you don't notice

When she's angry
I love you
comes out as
a bee sting
you may experience
swelling at the site
instant, sharp pain
and a welt where your heart
should be
When she's angry
How many times
I called you down to my room
to comfort me.
Judgement free.

Curled up
next to me
I could feel you breathing,
heavily asleep.

Sitting on the couch
with you always at our feet.
You'll never fully know
What you meant to me.

Our sweet angel
may you rest in peace.
I can feel myself holding my body over a cliff right now saying, "I'll drop you back into this depression pit, *****. I'll do it."
I awoke
folded up like a purposeful piece of origami
placed delicately between two bodies.

Happiness
Through gritted teeth
do it.

do the thing
your depression tells you that you don't love anymore.

do the thing
your anxiety paralyzes you from.

the things
deep down in your bones

Through gritted teeth
do it.
Brianna Bushee Dec 2018
Sometimes
it's hard
to stop and notice
the things around you.

My son tilts his head
up to the sky
and announces,
"mom
the clouds
are decorations!"

The clouds
indeed
decorated the sweet
morning sunrise.

Peppered in
nonsense patterns.
For you and I
to marvel at.

Decorations.
What wonder
to see life
through your eyes.
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