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SL Dec 2017
There are so many questions in life
Questions that aren't that important like what should I wear? or what should I do with my hair?
Questions that are important like should I take my life? or should I just continue to live my life like this?
But all questions have answers
Answers you like and answers you don't
You are told that you have to go to all your appointments, to show that you are changing and getting better
You lie about everything to prove to them
It feels like you're a broken record because you have to start from the beginning
You lose hope, until you find one new person and you don't hate this person
You start to think that everything is turning around
Then bad news struck again and you can't see this person anymore
You're back at square one and you're worse than ever
The question is now WHAT'S THE POINT?
You believe there is no point
A friend tells you to not give up
You try hard
You try to stay strong and to stay clean
You've lasted longer then ever before but that thought of accomplishment is gone
Now was it worth what you did?
I was in a bad spot on the 22.11.17 and I wrote this
SL Dec 2017
Crunch, crunch, crunch
The sound of people eating
Makes me sad because I know I can't enjoy it
Looking around at everyone's plate then looking at mine
I see nothing but an empty plate
Everything looks so amazing but I can't build up the courage to try anything
There is a voice inside my mind telling me not to eat, you don't need it because you're stronger then them.
Gulp, Gulp, Gulp
The sound of people drinking
I wish I could try the drinks available
But I've lasted this long and to end the streak now would make everything I've done for nothing
Cling
The sound of everyone finished
Everyone talks about how good the food was then everyone looks at me
They ask me why I didn't have anything
I have no logical reason
I've taken the light away from the birthday girl
It's her 18th birthday and now it's about me
I'm a horrible person
True story, I am not even close to recovered. This happened when I came out of hospital. Sort of a bad poem.
SL Nov 2017
You're lucky to have a family, how could you say you're not
People don't have a family like yours, your parents are still together - what do you have to complain about
You should be happy to have a sister, I would **** to have a sister
Life is different behind closed doors
You see a happy family out in the streets but you don't know what happens at home, when the doors are closed, when it's night and everyone comes home
I have family yes, but is it a good family? Is it a family that I would want to spend time with?
No
Don't assume my life is perfect
Don't assume that I get everything that I want
My family is complicated and no one wants to know what happens behind closed doors
Once you say you can't take it back
What happened to your wrist? Nothing, don't worry
Why do you have bruises on your arms and legs? I fell
These are the typical responses I give when something happens at home
You look tired, have you been getting enough sleep?
How could I sleep when my mind is always on and there are fights
No one knows what happens behind closed doors.
Everyone has secrets regarding their family and that no one is perfect.

— The End —