My mind is racing anxiety high.....if I drink anymore I think I will die
The thing is I am not ready to reach for the sky
Time is wasting something must be done ...so I will face my fears and will not run

On this night I feel so much fear...,.the time for leaving is getting near
I say these words  built up anxiety I do feel......for now I know this all real
The devil's juice I do not need....for all it does is make my body bleed
I will grow  with courage and with another plan...with God's hand and people around me I surely can
Now I feel he has a plan for me to walk this road and it shall be long
I will take it slow and sing his song
I must be strong and stay on path .....I will count the days sober and you  can do the math

Standing in the store just the other day
Talking and thinking about you
In every way
Tears start rolling down my face
Where are you how are you
I can't find you not a trace
We left each other all alone
Why can't we find a common ground
Together we will be safe and sound
The tears they keep falling from a man that didn't know how to cry
Don't you know you are the reason why
The love I have for you is so strong
Don't you feel it ..it's been here for for so long
You are not with me right now
The tears keep falling
Hopefully sooner and not later you will pick up that phone and start calling
For now I will be alone so alone just me and my pocket full of tears

Why is it when you hurt tears come from my eyes....why is it when I think of you they fall like rain from the skies.

Through time and space........I will not give up because I see a little trace
I know that I talk, write, and think about this woman.....way too much....it is not only because I miss her touch
There is just so much about her that will never leave me .....the way she smiles at me ...the way she laughed at my stupid jokes...how I watched her sleep as I kissed her cheek as I left for work......why did I have to be such a ****
To turn it all around and start again....to return our love back remember when
Together there was no better feeling.......when she was by my side my heart hit the ceiling
When her hand was in mine........our smiles were wide there was no bigger sign
I say when my things at work turn around for the better.......I will stand up tall and take that step......I will win her heart back and show my love was always real......she will open those beautiful eyes and see how I really feel.....because I will tell you this baby your heart was always mine to steal
So when the moon is full and the stars they shine so bright......we will look in each others eyes and we will know the time is right

The path we follow may be long.....as we go through this life lots of things go wrong
We may lose touch with reality...this my friends is part of society
It is not always a bed of flowers....we may have to deal with crumbling towers
And at the end of our journey we will always look to the light......but I always remember never to give up the fight
If you know there is something that is real......for in your heart you know you will not have to steal
The light is here to guide us..........

Sometimes i wander this world all alone......everyday i wonder if I am getting Any closer to home
I walk around sometimes I feel invisible..... like I am not really here at all.......if the world was flat I would definitely fall
I am doing everything right........so tell me why it all seems like such a fight
Things in life are not always fair......
I am adopting a mind that I really don't care
They say all things happen for a reason.......tell me now why it happens on every season
I am like a ghost..... people look right through me like I am not even there......other times they just drive by and stare
I really don't know where my mind is lately....I write about every thing and nothing at all........sometimes the world looks big ....but right now it is rather small
I will no longer take anything for granted.......and I will take care of the seeds of which I have planted

I press my lips to her face.....and our eyes meet at the exact same place
My heart beats the sound is intense.....the love I feel it all makes sense
The music that plays its hard to explain.....together we stand and wisdom we gain
Like a movie that's how it plays out.......to tell her how I do feel but I don't want to shout
Even if we are not with each other forever....neither one of us will ever forget the time we spent together
She will live inside for a million years.......there will be no way I could hold back these tears

Lying and cheating and stealing at the time it seemed appealing
Wearing the mask had to be the worst....but lying to my family and myself it was a first
The demon had taken my hand......I drank so much I slept in the sand
I woke up on the beach so many times.......at times I was so wasted I could not think of any rymes
I needed a way out....I could not sit there and pout
The story could go on ...but I can't wait till all these feelings are gone
I waited much too long .....I had to stand and be strong
As I  hear the waves crashing the shore.. now I am sober and I found my way out the door

The wind is howling and the moon is bright.......lord tell me why I can't sleep through the night
I toss and I turn I am up and I am down....I long for the days when I can sleep sound
I know what it is for I cannot change......I guess a goodnight sleep is just out of range
It is so dark and boy is it cold ....I hope this changes before I get too old
My heart is empty my sleep is restless......to get some rest I must bow before my princess

The drink is around us daily...and will destroy our bodies with each touch....you should never use it as a crutch
The demon strikes whomever it pleases and whomever lets him in.......and if you choose to he will take you and that would be a sin

Remember there is always a coping skill at your will......and many ways to avoid the danger
But once he gets his grip ...it is very easy to trip
In his hands you will fall......and feel like it's the end of it all
Just grab God's hand and he will guide you out of this hole......and the both ot you could save your soul.

I remember those words you whispered in my ear.....your love in my life for with me you were willing to share
For I had no idea how or what love was until the day you gave yours to me........this light that I saw on that day made me realize just how much this love was meant to be
For those three words you entrusted me with lifted my heart and soul higher than it's ever been before.......for this gift will stay with me well after I walk through heavens door.

These buckets of tears that fill my room......this burden I carry with me now is just too heavy to handle.....so I light one white candle
Her love was what I waited my whole life for.......I made a mistake and it closed the door
She was my Cinderella and the shoe did fit....and for her I will never quit
When I saw her just the smile brightened my whole day.........not just that it also let me know everything was ok
With these words that come from my lips .....on my honor if and when our love does return I will make sure never again it slips
Because a love like we have and had comes once in a lifetime.....m and you must do what you can to save it or it would be a crime.

Life these days people have lots of smiles and frowns......for life is so filled with many ups and downs
Like having a drink in your hands changes our mood.....the more have you gain that attitude.....going down the toilet because of it is quite sad.....falling down too often should make you mad
Living without the bottle it's not an easy thing to do.....your mind changes so much your face turns blue
As I do the sober me.....life will change and the real world I will see
With the power of God in my soul.....now this time I will take control
Like an elevator there are only two ways to go...only you can put this in your head....make the best decision no more needs to be said.

The words I speak they come from deep inside.......I was never on a joyride
My love for you was always true......and that is something I think you somehow knew.

Day 14 without a drink....I can't believe how clearly I can think
My head gets clearer everyday....my body feels better in every way
It is  kind of strange...I thought this feeling was way out of range
With stronger people by my side....my journey to recovery is quite a ride
So God's hand I will take.....the road I am walking will never be fake.

A visit with me today....on the branch she did lay
A beautiful feeling deep inside......all of these feelings I cannot hide
This I was so overwhelmed by the light....the red bird was such a pleasant sight.

Today I woke up my heart was pounding.....the feeling of anxiety was surely rising
I think it was because of the thought of leaving . ..but all these feelings could be deceiving
The question is should I stay or should I go
....the answer I really don't know.....being sober is going to be a part of my life
The coping skills that I learned in the groups.....I will keep in my head thanks to the troops just for today don't think for tomorrow .....because when I cross the finish line there will be no more sorrow.

The demon had me in his grip....held me so right that my blood would drip
To get away I had to think fast.....I knew this I was not going to last
To escape this fear I had to make this plan.....what I thought of would not make me his biggest fan
I put down the bottle ....his hold on me I would attempt to throttle
I would follow my journey as far as it will go...I would block any tricks that he could throw
So with this I grab the higher ones hand........and throughout this battle I will stand

As the sun shines upon my face .....there is a new day coming which I say it with grace
The clean living is what I need to live ...and with that I will help others out with all I can give
If there is a higher power he will be my guide....he watch over me so I don't slide

My body is fresh my head is clear.....doing this is like a breath of fresh air
I am doing this for my life.....with a drink in my hand my life there is nothing but strife
I will stick with it till the end. ....I will neither break or not even bend
With God by my side..but it will not be an easy ride but with a strong body and a fresh mind....this peace I will find

I have dreams of you when I sleep......I see your face when I open eyes and start to weep
I guess my love for you still it grows
To know how this happens I wish I knew........forever happiness says the three crows
I look down deep within my heart ....it is there but now just an empty body part
Without you it beats no more........my soul is empty right to the core
There is no explanation on how I feel.......I have been around so this is unreal
This woman the way she loved me is beyond compare ...........I can't give up on her I do not care
Until I fill my empty heart and soul with her love .......I will need some help from the Angels above
To get her back this I will.........if I don't my soul would it ****
For this I know and the signs I see......her and I were meant to be.....one more tomorrow .we will walk the sand ........together forever hand in hand
I will be her knight in shining armour come to take her to paradise......and
I will no more disguise
she will be my damsel in distress....
We will feel no more duress
When the full moon rises and the stars shine bright........ being with you I just know it's right
Please my princess look at me right in my eyes..........and tell me you love me and you hear my cries
From my lips you will hear no lies......but we must hurry because we both know that time just flies

The sky was dark and grey....to turn it blue I must kneel and prey
Another day in my head......I am just so glad I am not dead
Somedays just don't go right for me  ...  .these crazy thoughts swirling round in my brain...I was walking and suddenly I am on the train
Can you get my point about my life........ always spinning and full of strife
The sky has finally turned back to blue ....this time I know exactly what to do

This morning my Anxiety level is hitting the ceiling....to tell you the truth I don't like the feeling
Going home on Monday I just hope I am ready.....to tell you the truth my hands are still not steady
There is no looking back. . .and this is a fact
But with a little help from the right people and the  places I go.....the look of sober living will continue to flow... filled with happiness from the way I feel.....I am so glad it is not a dream now I believe it is all real.

The road to recovery is cold and dark....in your life you could use a spark
To live it without a blur .....to speak your mind without a slur

The grass is greener when you can see it clear... .to open your eyes for once without the fear

Right now I love the way I feel....... but that bottle you must seal
Throw it away and don't look back...with the right tools you will gain that knack

Anxiety rising as I make it to the door.....like an eagle sitting on a branch and ready to soar
On to the next chapter on this journey to a better my life sure feels nice.... .I will take control and roll my own dice
As days go by anything I will try........I mean these words I say I will not lie
There are many bright lights and welcomed hands .....I can't wait to walk up those stairs .....the feeling I might feel will be like shooting off flares

My soul is on fire and your love has burnt a hole right in my heart......I know how I feel but where should I start
My life was a mess I know that for sure.....but how much heartache can one man endure
A great love of a woman has got it's hold on me .....but how could she want a messed up drunk like I seem to be
I must dig down deep and stand up tall.....shall I lose her love and continue to fall
I chose her and continue to grow......with the power of love and my strong will it's the perfect choice this I know..
The fire in my heart it continues to grow......and that hole in my heart turned into just a glow.

As I sit on the porch and stare of the moon.....I knew I needed a change and it must be soon
For your love I would move mountains and the sea....to put down the bottle it had to be
I have struggled so long but I was blind to see,,,,but it can't be I it must be we
So I will stand tall and try not to crouch...
There will be no more goodies within my pouch
This is a time that I must be strong.....it was word from above how could it be wrong
So with  some support from the powers that be......the work I will endure will open her eyes and we will both be free.

I stumbled down this path before....now as I pick myself off the floor
I don't want to see those bright lights just yet...but this is not the best deal I can get
She has a smile that can brighten a room.....while I bounce around getting hit with the broom
While I have since learned  to take the heat.....I thought I would stand up on both feet
Staying sober is gonna take all of my will....but for her love I must fit the bill
There is nothing more that I want in this mass.....no reason to keep acting like an ***
So before I see those lights in my eyes.....I will wrap my arms around her as we both stare into the skies.

In my life I have tredged through the valley ..... woken up in the alley
Been going to work without eating any food....no wonder why I was in a foul mood
For a few I was walking the streets....with nothing but my music beats
Now today with mind so clear.....I put all that stuff behind me and in the rear
I look back but not for long and remember how bad things have been....I am back on my feet and see where and when
The devil's drink has no place in my life ...as it has caused me nothing but strife
With one wish and I will say it loud....I will longer be a part of that party crowd.