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Mar 2019 · 599
His Kiss
CJ Sutherland Mar 2019
To the man of my dreams
HIS KISS
  A kiss to long for
His lips first met mine
I long for more
He kissed my neck, then
Beneath my ear
A flood of ecstasy arose
To form a lump
In my throat
A whisper
Escaped my mouth
“No Please No”
Kissing harder
He could feel
My trembling body
Wanting, needing, begging
“Yes Please Yes”
  As time stood still
I lost myself
In the warmth of
HIS KISS
I wrote this when I was 18 it was my first real kiss
Mar 2019 · 597
Birthday Wisdom 2019
CJ Sutherland Mar 2019
Another Day
Older
Another Day
Bolder

Women have it made
Queen of Sheba
In the shade

My hair
turning gray  
Dyed to my natural color
A younger apperence
Old age
washed  away

Older are Older
The clock ticks
Fewer and Fewer
the men pick

The crazy things
I used to do and say
Are only memories,
fantasies of today

Older and Wiser
PERHAPS
Now I take
Sunday Naps
My birthday is on the 23rd this Saturday I look at the year intake stock and said resolution is rather late New Year’s how would I want to accomplish for this next year  I’ll be 58
Mar 2019 · 604
Happiness (1982)
CJ Sutherland Mar 2019
You
Search for it
Strive for it
Long for it

Then
Watch it
slip
Through
your fingers
The moment
you
obtain it

Let it go
Stop
chasing it
Happieness
Will find
you
When you
find
Yourself
I wrote this poem when I was 21 I was just starting my journey to self discovery even the simple list things such as happiness can be hard to obtain I sat ponder and wondered why this is what I came up with
Mar 2019 · 295
LOVE, The Double Edge Sword
CJ Sutherland Mar 2019
IT—-———————-TAKES
A—————STRONG—————MAN
TO——————————————LOVE
A————­—————————WOMAN
YET———————————————IN
HIS—————————WEAKNESS
HE——————­———————IS
EVEN———-——STRONGER
IN———————-HER
LOVE
Word Art
Mar 2019 · 508
Stop, Think, Listen
CJ Sutherland Mar 2019
Screaming
At the top
Of your lungs

Never trust
The wrath of
An angry Tongue

Your mind Racing
Vengeful
Outspoken

When your heart
is shattered
Broken

Quiet your Head
Less
You regret
What you have said
Have you ever tried to stop yourself when you’re so angry.?you know anything that comes out of your mouth is going to be bad.
many people run  their mouth and anger while others choose their words wisely
Yet cutting deeper.
CJ Sutherland Feb 2019
No
I do not Like
Valentine’s Day
I WISH
It would Please
Just go AWAY

If you are
Married or in Love
Valentine’s Day
Comes from Cupid
Angels up Above

Deliveries to Work
The Gifts
Of Candy and Flowers
Evening Plans
Romantic Candlelight Dinner
Lasting for Hours
Followed by
Hugs and Kisses
And many
Sweet untold Wishes

However if you Are
Alone or Single
This Day is
An empty Heart
That sadly Tingles

One by One each Co-worker
Receives their Deliveries  
Their glances of Pity
Adds to my Miseries
Their words of Sympathy
Only deepen my Pain
Hoping for
This day to END
Before I go INSANE

A Day
RUBBED
IN MY FACE
Now Bitter Lonely Sadness
Are my
Only Grace

Hurtful memories of
Old verse New
Dinner for ONE
Instead of for TWO

No,
I do not Like
Valentine’s Day
I WISH
It would Please
Just Go AWAY

There was a Time
When I too Received
Many Deliveries
Before the days of Now
And my Miseries  

My Heart my Love
Did no come Home
Nor did HE
Call on the Telephone
No Hash Words
No Fight

I spent Valentine’s Night
Staring out the window
ALONE
His behavior
I don’t
Won’t  
Condone

I Cried
Myself to Sleep
I Thought
Life
Couldn’t be
More Bleak
Wondering is 
THIS my LIFE?
That of
A New young Wife!

He came Home
After a Night
At the BAR
He bought me Flowers
But
Left them in the Car

The next Day
When I AWOKE
Not a Word
between  Us
We SPOKE

Retrieved From
The Car FLOOR
I was SHOCKED
When he Strolled
Through the Door

He brought IN
The Flowers
Putting them
In a Vase
You should Have
SEEN
The look on My
FACE

Two Dozen Beautiful
Long stemmed ROSES
had WILTED
Like OUR Love
Empty and  Jilted

I  Took
A pair of Scissors
From the Drawer  
By the Bed
Cutting the Roses
ONE by ONE
At the Base
of the Bulb
HEAD

Silently
I set Down
The Scissors
Without
Placing Blame
My husband
Said Nothing
Only Hung
His Head
In SHAME

I made it Clear
I never want ROSES
On Valentine’s Day
We NEVER
Spoke of IT
What is the
POINT
Anyway

No
I don't Like
Valentine’s Day
I WISH
It would Please
Just go AWAY
Disputes all this
we have been married since 1985
(2019)  34 years married 36 years together
May 2018 · 900
Sound of silence
CJ Sutherland May 2018
There are times in life
When
You are silent
Yet
The words are working
Themselves
Out
Until the day
You
Can set them
Free
The deeper the issues
The longer
the
Silence
I’m not ready
Yet
I’m here
Breathing, hurting
Taking a pause
CJ Sutherland May 2018
It started over night
Attached the innocent
That’s not right

The army to many to count
I stand alone
A calculated defense I mount
I will NEVER accept defeat
My four innocent babies
Lay listless at my feet

Exhausted My Open wounds need treatment
At the end of the day
But that’s little cosilation
Compared to what my babies are suffering
Not a word do they say
Bewildered looks of confused pain
Swollen welts track their skin
The sadness in their eyes
the situation they are in
Their Backs, arms and legs
Mark the horrors of the day
They just want mommy to
Make it go away
I know they don’t understand
not sure what to say
At least  I try
They still show love, exceptence I want to cry
They give unconditional love
Only this grace comes from
Heaven God above
This gives me the courage to FIGHT
Planning my attack  strategy

As I prepare dinner
I make a list
We may be battered swollen bruised
But we are not broken or defeated

My tools are depleted
FLEAS don’t care who they attack
I have bites on me a well
at first I didn’t know why I couldn’t tell

Now Im winning
Armed with the Internet knowledge
I have become an entomologist
Arradicating the species
It’s to early to tell
Half past two a.m.
No sleep again tonight
Oh well
We are all sleeping
With one eye on our surroundings
A false sense of safety
As cautious optimism dances
In my head
There are no more fleas
on my dogs, in my bed
Carpet, drapery, bedding
Its a  tremendously large task to complete

Struggling to prepare a list before
I nod off my to sleep
I will not
can not
accept defeat

If you don’t get a handle quickly
on these fleas
They will take over
One female can lay 200 eggs
Diatomaceous earth food grade
  The ultimate destruction
It’s Considered the best natural alternative
Safe for humans and animals
Kills bugs
For the first time in many years I am being attacked by fleas taking neighborhood walks the neighbors yards have fleas in my dogs brought them back so now I’m on a vengeance to deflea my house my dogs it’s becoming a possession I’m at war and I will win
CJ Sutherland May 2018
Our nights are seldom
sound
More restless  and
unsettled
Our Mind begins to ask
The bigger questions
of life

As a child
carefree
A day lasted
forever

As a youth
so anxious
To grow up

As a young adult
Restless
To be free of
Our parents
Control
to taste life
Through our own
eyes

Middle age
a bit of
fear
Enters our mind
Of what lies
ahead

Reminiscent Of dreams
Unrealized

We ponder
How old age Will
unfold

As our sprit grows
Meek and mild

Restless and wild
Looking through the eyes
Of a child
Walking slower now
Life means more

We prepare for
The next chapter
Of life old age
Life lessons as our gage
How will that play out

Will we live in pain
Lose our mind
Dementia,
slightly off our rocker
insane

How will our life end
In the arms of a loved ,a friend
Will we be ready
Or will we fear

Did we learn  our lessons
To grown in spirit
I know they say
the journey is
As important
as the destination

However will we ever truly
know our purpose
There are no random accidents
Every action has a reaction
And life’s movements
Ever changing
Emotions rearranging

We are not messured
by our good deeds
But by those who remember us
Relationships cultivated with
God greatest gift of
Love
The older I get the deeper my questions of life evolve
May 2018 · 330
A captured life
CJ Sutherland May 2018
Autobiography and memoirs  
Are more then just a way
To share stories
They can keep family in touch
Sharing yesterday and today
Accolades and glories

When we have passed on
Your memories will fade in to gone
Who will remember our life
Our children, husband, wife
It’s the memories we share
For those to read and care
Told directly by you the more you give
The Stronger your voice will live

With sites such as  
Ancestry and family tree
Our next Generation can learn and see
However Only Legacy story can be told
A deeper perspective as we grow old

Writing your  autobiography  
  book of short stories,memories to share
From youth to old age secrets are there
Every emotion from joy to pain
Life’s lesson our refrain

If you choose a  memoir to share
A  specific time frame is centered there
A detailed event or period Is time
Sharing what you learned
The good the bad  exposing the crime  

Everybody has a story to tell
Situations create life’s joy or hell
an exceptional life have one
Every story is different Once you begun

I have kept a journal, diary books
since  the age 12 twelve I started writing
I was hooked
Capturing the emotion
in the moment
Our heart a deap ocean
its powerful, accurate writing what I saw
Yes sometime exstreamly raw
An actual account what you saw
did ,feel ,the whole ordeal

In some cases
you’ll have to change the names
to protect the guilty
face it, we’re all guilty of something

People like stories
that are based on real events
if you seek publication

Carpe Deim
Time is of the essence
Society is fascinated with
Stories of the past
Your voice, spirit will last
You will be celebrated remembered
A relatable story people will grasp
May 2018 · 397
Exterminate the Doctrine
CJ Sutherland May 2018
56% of the world
Do not believe in religion
In God

I wonder how they determine
The difference between right and wrong
IF the doctrine does not exist
Then the 10 Commandments
Do not have meaning
Since it’s in the Bible

  How is the moral compass defined  
A Very famous atheist defined
The moral compass
Two principal rules;

1)   IF it feels good do it
2)  If it’s good for me,it’s good
If it hurts me, it’s bad

  Religion as a whole Is under attack
Those who read the Bible know
This is foretold in the book of Revelations
  
We are all human we make mistakes
  No Religion is perfect
   Just because some members are bad
Does not make the entire Religion bad

If we exterminate the Doctrine
Where does that leave us
AS A SOCIETY

Just look at the world today
With LACK of moral fortitude
How do we wrap our heads around
Children that **** their sibling or parents
MASS shootings; in churches, at concerts
In Schools, nowhere is safe
With No defined reason WHY
  People are angry, demanding protection
  With no answers, safety is an Illusion
How far will you go
To protect someone you love  

Were do we go from here
Atheist want Christian to not only
Except their way of life BUT
To also denounce their beliefs
  If the Christians doesn’t fall in line
They’re branded biased and prejudice
  What about a Christian’s right  
To practice their religion

Christians plant seeds
Searching for Devine intervention
And their purpose of life
But are Crucified for their belief
Because they are unwilling
To sacrifice their eternal soul
Christian Are bullied to teach beliefs
to their children
That are in direct conflict to their religion
  Atheist use the word TOLERANCE
      
What atheist’s should understand
Christian’s can love a person
but not except their actions,
We inherently know right from wrong
We are all brothers and sisters in Christ
  It is not for a Christian to judge another
THAT IS GOD’S JOB

For those who don’t BELEIVE
In a higher power
Am I to understand that
The sum of all life is
To get up,go to work,
Search for the almighty dollar
Go home, go to bed, wake up
To do it again, and again...
The only purpose to
Keeping up with the Jones
Buying,  acquiring, collecting,
Brand names, flashy things  
Is THAT the motivational  goal of life  

Is That as good as it gets ?
At the end of life, to die
Fade to nothing, no afterlife
  
He who dies with the most toys wins!!
It’s about stuff????
  Does that mean
YOU are the God of your world
What about those like me who died and had a near death experience and talked to a higher power you see I know with every fiber of being what waits for me as I grow in faith I don’t know what’s going to happen in my life but I do know it’s not my doing I give my life to God everyday pray and ask for forgiveness when I fall short and try for a better tomorrow everyday is a new day to do the right thing we all struggle I have faith God Bless
CJ Sutherland May 2018
I have written on other
Poetry sites
As this one you
have to be invited
For the right

There are issues with this site
Freezing word lines ,curser going
Haywire
Unable to fix your errors
However

I have also noticed
When you offer critique of  a poem
that you feel is great
  Admire Even
Yet you see a little tiny
thing that could suggest
To be looked at by the author

Your jumped on by someone
And band wagon begins

Poetry on other  sites
you must make
Two critiques on the poem
and one on the title

It’s all about working
Together with fellow writers
Of verse and proses

A site without helping each other
Is  only about posting for practice
Nothing else
People are too sensitive

Writing with blinders on
Does not allow for growth

It’s all a matter of perspective
people don’t mean
criticism negatively
they are just  honestly
trying to help
but then others
take it wrong
feathers get ruffled

And out comes mr. nasty
Giving a poem thumbs down
REALLY IS THAT  necessary
Just don’t read or write on it
Pass it by

If  you want to get published
advise should be welcomed
Surely rejection letters are
Not the end goal

When one is not able to
here the reflection
In one’s voice
it’s difficult to determine
Friend or foe

just let it go
It’s not worth the effort
only have good intentions

It’s all a matter of
Perspective
Those who  make negative comments of a poem or comment are not contributing in anyone’s best interest I have taken to private messages with my suggestions who needs the drama
Apr 2018 · 445
The little things in life
CJ Sutherland Apr 2018
If
ANY little
Word
of  ours
Can Makes
ONE life
The brighter
If
Any little
SONG
WE sing
Can make
One heart
The lighter
GOD
Help us
TO Speak
That little
Word
Find
Our voice
Rejoicing in
Our singing
Then
drop it
In some
lovely SOUL
And set the
ECHOES  
ringing
Hallmarks of life
Apr 2018 · 408
Spring Break
CJ Sutherland Apr 2018
Many kids go to wild and exotic
Ports of call
Some do nothing at all
My grandson made a choice
He wanted to help use more then his voice

My middle grandson is my  sweet honey
He called for help for money
He was going to Mexico with the church youth group
To rebuild three houses to help families recoup

This trip wasn’t free
there was a fee
Five hundred dollars each
They were not just sitting on the beach

The week is done
The church made work fun
But more importantly
Families gained stability

The choices the youth make
Will be remember values resonate
My grandson walks a little taller
He gave more then just a dollar

He gave love
I’m so proud of my 15 year old grandson and his involvement in the church
Apr 2018 · 404
Easter Bonnet
CJ Sutherland Apr 2018
When I was  a child
we dressed up
for Easter Sunday
I wore white gloves and  tights
a flower dress and
white Mary Jane shoes
With white double lace ankle socks
To top off our outfit
an Easter Hat
We were allowed
to decorate it
to match our dress
We sang
“ I wore an Easter Bonnet
With pretty flowers on it”
In fact
The whole congregation
wore a sea of
brilliant colored hats
Flowers tulle and lace
it was our
Sunday Best
My mother wore a mantilla
(A lace covering over her head with a pearl straight pin )
A sterling silver and real pearl rosary and
Her glove collection was something to behold
Today Easter Sunday
Now
no gloves
No Stockings lace
No Easter Bonnets
not one
In fact it could’ve
been people at Walmart
or going to the park
in jeans T-shirts  thongs
nothing special
It saddened me
Times are changing
And not necessarily
for the better
Happy Easter
God Bless
Apr 2018 · 339
Frustrated with this site
CJ Sutherland Apr 2018
Please excuse me I am not one to rant and rave
I need to vent some frustrations I crave
My patients are ****** beyond belief
This sites’ flaws are a thief
I have have lost parts of poems two completed ones as well
Written on the cuff
It’s a nightmare a living hell
The perfect poem lost in time

This is a unfortunate  crime
I hope you all learn from my pain
Write it out so your original remains
Lost the  sentence are easy to fix
But disrupts the flow creating a new feel mix
That’s not always a good thing first the curser drops Down
Several lines then the fun begins its happening now
Making corrections hard to manage
I know this site is free is it just me
I have know poets to leave in the past
Pleaset tell me these problems will not last
Or I fear more poets will be a thing of the past
I love the people on this sight
But posting is a constant fight
Apr 2018 · 177
Lent 40 days until Easter
CJ Sutherland Apr 2018
The last forty days of Jesus’ life
Judas’ betrayal, a mother’s strife
Jesus told all around him
The sequence of events would be grim

“God so loved the world
He gave his only son
Who so ever believe in him
Will not parish
But have ever lasting life “(KJ Bible)

Undecribable pain racks my mind
Jesus’ death All to save every soul of man kind
Ultimately all but one apostles was murdered killed
John in exile still wrote, God’s grace many books he filled


Still we sin some don’t even believe
We live in a world practicing to deceive
No man will know the exact moment Jesus will return
However we have everything we need the Bible to learn

“When wrong is considered right
And right is considered wrong “
We are a standing at a  precipice
The next tragity shan’t be long

Faith and love The Bible teaches all we need
In paralleless times, strong faith with God’s will you’ll succeed
It time to learn who you are how deep are your morels vested
To understand why evil doers ****, our values will be tested

Today Jesus died a violent death
At the hands of man who hadn’t a clue
His last words to God
“Forgive them Lord
They know not what they do”

Can we even imagine that amount of love
It takes for such compassion
To carry out such a plan from above

Happy Easter
God Bless you all
Revelation is a book to start after all it’s about what comes next all quotes from the Bible
Mar 2018 · 2.5k
What Constitutes a Birthday
CJ Sutherland Mar 2018
Is a birthday a birthday without
A celebration
A child of God on his creation

Is a birthday a birthday without
A cake
The sweet smell plus the time it took to make

Is a birthday a birthday without
Blowing out candles hot dripping wax
57 candles fire to the max

is a birthday a birthday without
Singing the song
A sadness lingered all day long

it a birthday a birthday without
A friend to share it with
Or are all these reasons just a myth

Pouring Rain   fierce winds   rocked my car
I walked the mall
Beauty Salon straighten my hair
No one to notice or care
shopped
Victoria Secrets, things I did not need but made me smile
The happness only lasted a short while
Sees candy, picked out my favorite kind
Still sad loneliness on my mind
Bed bath and beyond; rosewater candles
Surely the scent would cheer my mood
Perhaps
Chinese’s food
wonton soup and *** stickers To take home
Painful knee ended my time to roam
Reading comments,well wishers who
remembered my Birthday
I’m done celebrating now
ready for it to go away

Text messages Facebook too
I wish I understood I wish I knew
Why I feel this way
Tomorrow
will be
a bright
new day
Not sure why I feel this wat I spent my birthday alone
Mar 2018 · 468
St Patrick's Day
CJ Sutherland Mar 2018
I met my love at a pub
Drinking a pint of brew
We fell madly in love
Before I really knew

However I had an issue
He had a tattoo of his exwifes name
On his upper arm
TRISH

Outwitting an unwilling participate is a hard thing to do
Especially when the other person doesn't have a clue
The humiliation my cause for alarm
We needed to find a solution Before there was further harm

I sweetly batted my eyes and suggested
He add a line under the letter  T
changing the name from
TRISH to IRISH
HELL NO he replied I'm not Irish

I held my temper at all cost
I began to think the situation was lost
although my blood began to boil
We needed to find  our way through this toil

I stood my ground
I smiled speaking in the sweetest voice I found
leaving him no choice but accept my wish
WELL DARLING I'm not TRISH

He wondered how he would feel making love to me
If I had another man's name from him to see
His compassion saved the day
Understanding how I could feel this way

My darling love drinks a beer
To celebrate St Patrick's Day cheer
perhaps to remember the sacrifice he made to get here
Few know the story behind the tattoo he holds dear

Word to the wise
Think twice
about getting a tattoo a loved one may despise
A tattoo is like going under the knife
Your choice lasts a lifetime
Happy wife happy life
36 years together
Mar 2018 · 203
St Patrick's Day
CJ Sutherland Mar 2018
I met my love in a pub
Drinking a pint of brew
He swept me off my feet
We fell in love before we knew
Romance so sweet  

However I had a major problem an issue
He had a tattoo of his exwife's name
On his upper arm
TRISH
I was not happy about this

Out witting an unwilling participant
is not a piece of cake
We both are head strong people
a miracle it would take

The humiliation was my cause of alarm
We needed to find an immediate solution
To cease further harm
We were at odd on opposite sides of a revolution

My darling man of reason Wanted to clear the air
He wanted to be fair
He Wondered how he would feel if his wife had
Another mans name for every season

With a wink and a smile I sweetly suggested
he put a line under the letter T
He said HELL NO I'm not Irish
Quickly the conversation regressed

I held my temper But stood my ground
I smiled spoke in my sweetest voice
The patience I found

Leaving him little to no choice
Well dear I'm not TRISH
Resolution my only wish

The day is done
A clever girl has won
Sublime heart and mind
Contentment For all of time I would find

Was it such a large price to pay?
What would you do or you say?
To resolve this situation in an amicable way

35 years of marital bliss
Came down to this
A simple line I drew
in the preverbal sand  
An't love grand

My darling Lad drinks a pint of brew
to celebrate St Patrick's Day
To pass the time away of the change of his Tattoo
This story not many knew

Happy wife happy life
A Tattoo is forever think twice
Your decision is for life

Now my Irish pappy
Not Irish happy  
Wears his arm on his sleeve
A learned lesson to believe
I was able to recover this poem deleted in error
CJ Sutherland Mar 2018
A school poet" Clever"
Stated she was NOT allowed
To participate in the scheduled WALKOUT
They escorted her back to her classroom
Less she face Repercussions
that would linger on her school record
permanant  suspension  
Walk out vs family trust
The administration even
locked the bathroom doors
And exits for 17 minutes
Instead the students were given 17 minutes
Of free  exspression
TO DO AND SAY WHAT WHAT EXACTLY
The didn't say she couldn't walk out
The choice was not a choice
it was an ultimatum
Rather like a bully tactic
Which is why the students are
here in the first place
At first I like many believed
There is a fine line between integrity  
And a students true intent solidarity
Rather just a ploy no classes for the day
Until my grandson told me about
A shooting in the park
he just walked through
To get to school
He arrived in time for the lock down  
His older brother's friend died in his arms
Neither youth attended that school
That were walking to work
His friend feared he would be jumped
Ask his brother to walk with him
As an educator I have to wonder
What is the problem
A gun has no power on its own
It's the hearts bad minds of the user
There has to be a better way
To keep our children safe
I don't think a walk out is the answer
It's not a bad idea to
Educate teacher in self defense
As a person we should all know
It's a sign of our times
Thank you clever for the poem inspiration
Mar 2018 · 215
Happy Birthday to me
CJ Sutherland Mar 2018
I’m To young to be old
To old to be young
My daughter
Constantly told me
Grandmothers
Don’t dress like that
Raising her eye brow
In disapproval
Giving my that looking
I’m conservative
But trendy
Victoria Secrets
Nike
Michael Kors bags
Only the latest designers
My Grandson
Gave me the BEST
compliment
he called me a Baller
I had to look it up !!!
For those of you who
do not know
What that means
I’m dressed to the nines
everything matches  
trendy on point
My reply to my daughter
is yes they do
because I’m rocking it
My birthday is a week from today
I always take stock of the past year
Where I am we’re I want to be in the future
And most importantly
Who I have become
I like who I am for the most part
The rest is a work in progress
Mar 2018 · 344
Fake birthday
CJ Sutherland Mar 2018
Raised by my father
I was knee high to a grasshopper
My brothers and sister and I had
Many Nannies and Babysitters

When I turned sixteen
I applied for my drivers permit
The paperwork returned
Wrong date of birth

It had to be a mistake
Crazy right  everyone knows
their own birthdate

I Requested my birth certificate
Come to find out
My birthday is 13 days later
I felt lost in the shuffle

Forgotten hurt
Of course leave it to
One brother to call every year
On my fake birthday
Laughing
happy fake birthday


the irony I was my father’s favorite
Charmin Carmen
Well at least he calls right in a day when families drift apart
CJ Sutherland Feb 2018
At the age of 17
I graduated high school
The fast track for college
To become a Doctor  
Next logical step; marriage  
had a child at the age 19
age 21 divorced
I was never going to get married EVER again
age 23 I met a man
I met him in a bar
 I did not give them my phone number
but he listened intently
the next day he showed up at my work
I thought he wanted my parking spot
I said I’m not leaving  not recognizing him
I was eating my lunch in my car how pathetic
since he couldn’t take me to lunch
he offered to take me to dinner
from that day on
we were together every day
The third day
he told me he love me
After one week
we were going out to lunch
he said he had a really great idea
I thought he was referring to
where we were going to eat
he paused was quiet
I said that sounds great
He cleared his throat and said
Will you marry me
Did I mentioned he was 13 years older(36)
I said the first thing that came to mind
are you (f word)  kidding me
I don’t even know you
but then when I looked at him
I realized he were serious
I told him ask he again
in a year
Two weeks before one year
He was down on one knee
Now? he grinned
He just knew
I rationalized
If I have ten good years
That would be better then most
36 years later
Still together
So much has changed
Do you ever look In the mirror and wonder
who is that
what happened to me
My dreams, desires and goals,
Who I wanted to be When I grew up
I am in the winter
Of my discontent
By most accounts I had a good life I have weathered every storm
I am entering  old age I’m no longer advenseable That scares me
CJ Sutherland Feb 2018
My mother was a *** on the streets of L.A.

I use to pray
Let mommy be alive
Father told us
She was dead

Sisters whispers
That’s not true
He took us away
So now I knew

Years of search
To find her and care
Many empty faces
It’s awful out there

The streets of L.A.
A bitter cold place
Survival changes
God’s good grace

My preyers
Had been answered
She was alive
Dying ,each passing day

God gave
Her to me then
He took her away

No more
Do
I
Pray
My mom had throat cancer I got to know her for 3 months I was 18 I prayed my younger years for her to be JUST ALIVE I  blamed myself for not praying for more she was only 46 when she dyed it took Amiy years to realize at least I got to know her
Feb 2018 · 1.1k
LOVE The Double Edged Sword
CJ Sutherland Feb 2018
IT...............................TAKES
A...............STRONG....­............MAN
To...............................................­....LOVE
A.........................................WOMAN
YET.....­..........................................IN
HIS.................­..............weakness
HE..........................................IS
EVEN.............­..STRONGER
IN..........................HER
LOVE
Feb 2018 · 462
Favorites
CJ Sutherland Feb 2018
Getting to know my poet friends
Is more then just the means to an end

I’m learning to navagate this site
What each catagory mean in its own right

Clues to poets you can find
If you only take the time

Since many have no bio to  reveal
Through their poems learned crumbs one can feel

Also who have they chosen as the poet’s they like
Following the clues is like riding a bike

Favorites is a good place to start
These clues are more then a stab in the dark

You can read poetry that has touched them in some special way
While also reading what a new voice has to say

It’s a win win if you ask me
Because I’m rather an open book you see

There are many times when I too hide in plane sight
Those are poems for another night
Just getting to know poets I am beginning to know this is strictly  for literary gain and shared  admiration
CJ Sutherland Feb 2018
If you are married or in love
Valentine’s Day comes from Cupid, angles up above
Deliveries to work are gifts of candy and flowers
Evening plans, a romantic candlelit dinner for hours
Followed by hugs and endless kisses
And Many sweet untold wishes

However if you are alone or single
This day is an empty heart that sadly tingles
One by One the coworkers receive their deliveries
Their glances of pity added to my miseries
Their words of sympathy only deepened the pain  
Hoping for the day to end before I go insane

A day rubbed in my face
Now lonely bitterness and sadness are my grace
Hurtful memories of Old verse New
Dinner for One instead of Two
No, I do not like Valentine’s Day
I wish it would Please, just go away

There was a time when I too received deliveries
Before the days of now and my miseries
The man I loved did not come home
I spent Valentine’s Day starring out the window alone
I cried myself to sleep and thought,Life
could not be more bleak, for a new young wife

He came home after a night at the bar
He had bought flowers yet left them in the car
The next day when I awoke
Not a word between us, we spoke

The dozen once beautiful long stemmed roses had wilted
Like our love empty and jilted
I silently took a pair of scissors from the drawer by the bed
Cutting the roses One by One at the base of the bulb head
My husband said nothing only shook his head in shame
Silently, I set down the scissors without placing blame

I made it clear I never want roses on this day
We never spoke of it, what is the point anyway
Valentine’s Day is a memory rubbed in my face
Now lonely bitterness and sadness are my grace
No, I do not like Valentine’s Day
I wish it would Please, just go away
However 36 years today
We are still together to my mismay
Going to the bar with the guys for just one drink are famous last words when you are a newly married man of course I didn’t know were he was the was his story
Feb 2018 · 853
The Flu Stot
CJ Sutherland Feb 2018
My local pharmacy
was exceptionally busy today
Worriedly,I scan the pharmacy line
For any signs of people;
coughing, sick, in any way

I don’t have a mask I’m not protected
My mind is freaking me out
after all those people came
For medication
of one kind or another

People are dying
Have they been around
Someone with the flu
Nursing them, contagious

Nervously I wait.
They call my name
No information,silently
The pharmacist grabs an arm,
sticks the needle in my arm
gives me the shot
Pushes the medicine in
Hands me a paper
Consequently Telling me , as he walks away
“It takes ten days before Your protected”
I sit there swimming with questions
He is gone

As I walk from the store
Several sensations occur immediately
My arm hurts instantly
At the shot sight
Although the needle was tiny
throbbing pain works it’s way
Down my whole arm

By the time I start the car
My head is pounding
Within the first block
My head is pounding so much
It hurts behind my eyes

Anxiety of the unknown symptoms  sets in
I have alway been very careful
Getting behind the wheel of a car
On any medication
“I can make it home”
I chant as I drive
“I’m close, almost there”

My body feels strange
I’m home in 7 minutes
I’m safe breath, sigh relax

My chest feels like someone’s sitting on it
It’s hard to breathe
My oxygen saturation level
drops into the mid 80s

I make sure my husband knows
Where the paperwork is
As I explain to him all my symptoms
Reactions to the flu shot

I feel euphoric
nauseous consumesme, holding it in
Vomiting is dangerous for me taking
time releases medications
I take something for the stomach
Pulling on my pjs And climbing into bed
Making dinner, not an option

I wake up 4 hours later
My symptoms have leveled out
The chest still tight breathing a bit less labored
However,All other symptoms
Have become an aching in all my joints
I mange to eat leftovers
my stomach feels better

My head still in a fog
The next day is a struggle
To get moving
I realize how strong
this strain of the flu is

I get the flu shot every year
And have never experienced
These reactions

I know everyone is different
But take caution when getting the flu shot
Go home immediately afterwards
Preferably have someone with you
Wash your hands think about public places stay safe
Jan 2018 · 235
Posting problems
CJ Sutherland Jan 2018
Has anyone else noticed
Posting problem
After awhile the page
does not work properly
I have to post in draft then
Return to make changes
The line curser act crazy
Or is it just me
Inquirig minds wamt to know
I know of one fellow poet who left
Because of such problems
Jan 2018 · 339
Each person has Many Faces
CJ Sutherland Jan 2018
The faces we show
in the work field,
 Our business or to
our Boss,and customers
The faces we show
at church,
when we ask for
forgiveness and pray
The faces we show
our friends,
Even those differ
with each person

All predicated  
by the walls we so
carefully construct
strategically hiding
who we really are

The faces we show
a loved one
When we
Let down
the walls

The faces we show
to the innocent children
are the most honest  
depending upon
the age of the youth

The inner me is in
direct contrast
to who I am
The only time
we show
our true face
Is when we
look in the mirror

Do we know
who is looking
back at us
Do we like
what we see
Is it you?
is it me?
Push away

We are all
masters in  disguise
Hiding in plain sight

The inner me
is in direct
contrast to
who I am

What I see
in the mirror
I think
HECK NO
Who is that
old lady
looking back
at me

My faces
have deceived
Even Me!
That is an oxymoron  I have yet to understand
CJ Sutherland Jan 2018
We are the voice of our generation
From all walks of life
Sharing our joy and pain

We are representatives of a society that struggles
We feel the passion to voice our views
We are stirred to write  out of necessary
A yearning to voice our thoughts

Well after we are gone our words are forever in print
For future generations to study and learn
Who we were and what we were thinking And WHY
Our struggles, our points of view matter more the we will ever know

Our voice matters
While we need to respect other points of views
We must also stand strong  for what be truly believe
Defending our hope, pride, and the American way

In other countries people right to freely say what they think
Is not permitted
Stifled by a leadership serpressing their freedom and voice
Their opinions

As long as we are free and proud our voice must be heard
In retrospect this is a tremendous honor and burden
To be the voice of reason for our Generation
The state of the union has be thnking honorably
CJ Sutherland Jan 2018
Our president  was elected by the people
When has that been positive for everyone
Yet some are not happy
Our society of entitlement
It’s a sign of our times
Our society is based on ME first

I watched the Grammies women complained
Not everyone can win
You can please some of the people some of the time
But you can’t please everyone all the time

The state of the union was like
School children unwilling to play together
Life is not fair who ever said life is fair
Then complaining when a certain person
doesn’t  get what they want
It’s so childish

The president was trying to show us
What things we have to be proud of
What we should focus on
Celebrate come together accomplish what we can
We are our own worst enemies, we need to stop the bickering
Everything the president spoke about was positive

Take off the rose color glasses and celebrate life
Americans are dreamers too
To all those semitors who boycotted the state of union
We Americans need to remove those people from office
The president offers compromise
I noticed the obvious separation. Between both parties

We can fix the broken system
Remain part of the problem or become part of the solution
LETS COME TOGETHER PUT POLITICS ASIDE
the struggle will be long and difficult ,However
We can and will succeed and prevail
A few lines were taken directly from the presidents speech
Jan 2018 · 183
Read a Good Book
CJ Sutherland Jan 2018
When I was a child
I was alway board,My mom would say
Read a good book for a while
Today’s digital age that might sound strange
But getting lost in a book, a life rearranged
I could Image in vivid detail, words come to life, popped off the page
Experience situations; first love, true hate, violence, controlled rage
I flourished in the imagery of my imagination
perception limited only by age’s infatuation
I began to love school,with a book, self taught,homework a breeze
Comprehending subjects, life made sense, I was at ease
As I grew through the seasons
I saw my friends struggle in school, for many reasons
I asked my closest friends do you read non text books on your own
No they laughed, labeling me a nerd, one said you mean alone?
I realized school books were my ticket to any where
I could fulfill my dreams with the right books, I would make it there
I learned to be a professional student, class tests, so predictable to see
Different points of views interest me,
Pushing the teachers To challenge me became fun to win
School became a game I was a sponge soaking it all in
There were few teachers that challenged me to dig deeper within
Creative writing is really where my life truly would begin
I achieved every goal I set with drive and determination
I desired to leave my mark for my generation  
Writing my life story is more then just a means to an end
So, If your a mother,grandmother,or good friend
If you hear a child say they are board
Tell them “to read a good book, and we can discuss it”
However if their nose crinkles, they say they hate to read
It’s your duty to Intercede
A trip to the library is all you need
Help them find a book so amazing they don’t want to put it down
When they carry that book reading it all around town
You know your job is well done
They will be hooked on reading and that’ only half the fun
where books take them on life’s journey, is as infinite as the stars
A much brighter future then  illiterate  battle scars
NAVE YOU READ A GOOD BOOK LATELY
Jan 2018 · 228
Our world today We are lost
CJ Sutherland Jan 2018
Who are you?
what do you believe?
what do you stand for?
we are a society living lost  
oblivious in our own little worlds
Do you see what is happening all around you?
the homeless living on the streets
do you know your neighbors names ?
What is your form of entertainment ?
Television shows;  
Satan worshipin,
demons, horror movies,
bloodly corpses, ******,
****, ****** violence,
sexually  scenes with under age,  
we see every commandment in the Bible broken daily
on prime time for entertainment
Do you remember waiting all week
for the Disney family show  Sunday night ?
The news shows q
terrorist cutting off somebody’s head on the internet
in the name of God,
schools, Music concerts, ands  churches mass killings
Cultures collide,  mass death because they believe it’s the end od days
Mass shootings, hundreds of people for no reason.
The worst wheather in history;  
earthquakes, tsunami‘s  floods
our earth is on fire.
people Suffering; starving, sickness, superbugs,  
epidemics beyond proportion:
Isis Wars using child as A human shields strapping bombs to Babies  and elderly
all in the name of God
There is an attack on ALL Christians and Christianity
We have taken religion out  from our schools,cities and states
no longer allowed to pray.
You used to be able to go to any hotel room and find a Bible in the nightstand drawer no longer . 
 56% of the entire world no longer believe in God
we allow same-*** marriage
you can change your *** to whatever you want
We wonder why our children are so out-of-control
Why they have no respect for their parents or for anything
why they’re lost
why they try to **** themselves and others
Why they Turn to drugs; alcohol
Trying to escape reality

The Bible talks about a day when wrong is right and right is wrong
I would say we are there
Today

If you do NOT believe in the Bible
then how do you base your moral compass ?
if it feels good do it ?
if it’s good for you then it’s good
if it’s bad for you then it’s bad
Isn’t that rather like
playing GOD
It’s time to wake up
CJ Sutherland Jan 2018
Woman Celebrities are taking a stand
young and old join the band

Is there a statue of limitations on crime
Let’s go back to the beginning of time

There witch hunt has begin
The bell can not be unrung

The memory is a funny thing
Versions of Truth unraveled by a string

Time distorts and changes reality
What was once accepted can no long be

Ponder this
Let’s be realistic

We can not change the world in a single day
There are many layers at play

The world is full of sin
Judging others is no way to win

Forgive yesterday, change today,  
Jesus teaches
As you Judge others so you shall be judged
He who is without sin cast the first stone
I have listed to some of these women talking of 30 to 40 years ago they felt wronged but we’re never forced yet make claims today: did they ever  talk to the person don’t  no so why persecute them in public  now Society is getting out of hand
Jan 2018 · 253
The flu What’s a girl to
CJ Sutherland Jan 2018
I was up all night last night
Tonight a repeat
With one
Exception
I have the flu
Achy body
I feel like I was hit by a truck
Stomach doing flip
flops
Like after  
A meal on the high sea
In a storm
My head is pounding
I want to close my eyes
Dark quiet yet can’t sleep
Body restless
A dice proposal
When taking medications
That can throw me in
Toxic shock
Water room temp
Saltine crackers
Jan 2018 · 245
4 in the morning
CJ Sutherland Jan 2018
Why
am I awake
what
will it take
To let
my head rest
Pillows, heating pad, oxygen
I try my best
More pills to
numb the pain
Staying awake all night
is driving me insane
Too many thoughts in my head
unable to sleep in my bed
write poems all night
Thank God for this site

I’ll try sleepy time tea
and melatonin
And I will have to *****

Ten more pillows
For the sheep to jump in the willows
Good night
Wishful thinking
Jan 2018 · 503
Disturbing behavior
CJ Sutherland Jan 2018
Lately
I have read a lot of poems
from young people
That alarm me
The talk of ;
suicide, self mutilation ,Bullying  
The list is long
I know this is no comparison
but it reminds me of
the many homeless
people
do not even
acknowledge them
when they walk bye
We are living in  
***** and Gomorrah
Many are reaching out for help
While people  hurry on bye
  The parable of the
Good Samaritan told by Jesus in Luke
10:25-37
This story was told by Jesus in response to question
asked by a lawyer who is my neighbor ?
As we are told to Love our neighbor as our self

The parable is about a traveler
who is stripped of clothing
beaten and left For dead
alongside the road
First a priest and then a Levite come by
but both avoid the man
finally a Sameritain happens upon the traveler
Sameritans and Jews generally despise each other
but the Samaritan helps the injured man
In conclusion
the neighbor figure in the parable
is the man who shows mercy for the injured man
that is the Good Samaritan
I took the story of the good Samaritan out of Wikipedia  this story is not meant to be political but it’s to emphasize the point of these children young adults that are reaching out for us and their lost and we’re turning her head to weigh in we need to talk to them I have been personally reaching out to them in private  perhaps together as a family here on this site we can be there for people when they’re hurting
Jan 2018 · 182
New Years Resolutions
CJ Sutherland Jan 2018
Either you believe in them or you don’t
Either you will keep them or you won’t

Why would anyone want to make a list
If all they write will be dismissed

For me it’s a bit like therapy
Looking deep within me

Evaluating the last year
What I held dear what I fear

I have to visit my past
To achieve a future at last

I formulate goals and dreams
And begin to look between the seems

Two categories are devised
Personal goals and future, dreams a list analyzed

My completed list is etched in my brain
If I blow it mess up a day, I don’t go insane

I don’t throw in the towel tomorrow’s a new day
I keep the same motivation the same values the same way

In the end it’s for a better me
That something I can live with you see

I encourage you all to try this process, make a list that will last
the old you will be not be miss but a thing  of the past
Each day is a new beginning and the possibilities are in less
Jan 2018 · 412
Pains of a mother
CJ Sutherland Jan 2018
My child is grown
Married with children of her own
Life a twist of fate
Divorce, judgements ,learn to hate
Before God They came together
She left him, a battle, a storm unable to weather

They both moved on and found new love
Was it a gift from above
Turn about is fair play
He with the new life ,wife is happy today

She broken hearted dazed puzzled looked but did not blink
Tears falling ,she spoke quietly Karma at play ,I think
New love burns bright, then fades for all to see
The way things are ,not as they should be
She believes this is her punishment for wrongs of the past
Devil laughing in delight she must pay her dues at last

It’s hard to see your child broken hearted
Knowing there is nothing I can do when two have parted
A mother’s job is to listen not reply
In a broken heart many bombs lie

Hour spent rehashing the chain of events
The things said at each other exspence
I know in time this too will fade
If I could save her from the pain I would make the trade

So for now all I can do is be there for my child
cautiously watch what I say or Her words are not meek or mild
Why is it we take out our hurt on the ones we love
Wasnt that the first lesson we failed with God above

Hope faith and love
The most important of these
Is love
(Bible)
My daughter had a fight argument with her boyfriend of two years she is distraught calling me all day long I am happy to be there although I can’t do or say anything right
But mother’s never stop being a mother no matter the age  it’s just a little more difficult to  Council  an adult
Jan 2018 · 195
False start
CJ Sutherland Jan 2018
My last poem
“ start at the beginning and shine “
Suggests with read first post
I proceeded to go to the first poems
of some of my favorite poets
However they had so many poems
I was unable to get to the beginning
Hense False Start

So now my friends
I need to know
the names of the poem(s)
You want me to read

I can look them up by name
if I tap on the poem list
it has an A through Z
And most popular options

so let’s try it again
Please leave me the name of the poem
You wish me to read
Let’s start by letting to know
Each other
My first poems is
“His Mistress “
Enjoy
CJ Sutherland Dec 2017
We each Stop by to read A poet’s, rhyme and verse
This journey is a gift, not a curse

While the soul is exposed
With honesty many truths are divulged

Get to know the writer in a poem or two
This is what I invite us all to do

Start at a poet’s first poem

Read the first poem posted on this site
The progression and confidence, a constant fight

Poet’s linger on subjects for a while
Regurgitating the demons on trial

If you read carefully, between the lines
You will begin to understand the writer’s mines

With A since of respect and comerodity the reader may find
Perhaps friendship can be found if your two of a kind

The first poem took the longest to write
It was the first thought , voiced on this site

So, Go back to the beginning and gain a new insight
A better understanding of your fellow poet’s plight

Many great poems are lost among the stroke of our pen
Let them re-live and shine again
Dec 2017 · 372
Pain
CJ Sutherland Dec 2017
I hide my head under the covers and cry
I don’t want to wake my guy
The knee pain
Is driving me insane
stabbing pain while sleeping
Muffling the sounds of weeping
A clogged nose aggravates my COPD
and I constantly have to ***
Walking Is not and easy task
With an oxygen mask
My knee gives out without warning
And it’s almost morning
Another day without rest
It’s impossible to do my best
Progressively its gotten worse
I can no longer carry my purse
a total knee replacement I need
If a better life is to succeed
It took me all of the next day
To be able to get up to my dismay
It’s time to clean the families mess
I don’t mind I must confess
For I am
Blessed
Each day starts out  new a clean slate  better then the last
CJ Sutherland Dec 2017
Thanksgiving
Propels us into night gear
Christmas almost here
Shop tell you drop

Christmas Day
Came and left as swiftly
I was tired from
All the hustle and bustle

Sitting at the dinner table I asked
What did you get Jesus
On his birthday
Blank stares from a
Confused group
A nervous roar of laughter

the children listening
unsure of what I was after
I smiled
Talking over
A Side comment or two
I began to explain; honesty, faith,and love

Those are gifts Jesus would want
Still the group seem lost in what answer
I was looking for
Then I heard it

Someone with a bit too much
Christmas Cheer
Cleared his throat and said
“Well Honestly
I gave him nothing”
Nervious roar of laughter
deafened my ears

My heart was so sad
I smiled and excused myself
From the table
Charity, patience,and forgiveness
Begins at home

All I can think of Is
Jesus
Dying for us
Saying
“Lord for give them they know not what they do”
I have so much to learn
That was awkward so not how I thought the conversation would go
Dec 2017 · 455
Much needed rest
CJ Sutherland Dec 2017
I lay my head upon my pillow
Trying to get some
Much needed rest
My mind and brain at war
Neither one keeping score
The holidays are over
Yet
Bless with family visits
Keeps me busy still
Caring for everyone
And satisfying few
Pets
Needs feeding
Children need
Loving
My chores
More difficult as I age
But love and laughter my gage
The trade off is worth it
I’ll sleep when I’m dead
Don’t get me wrong o love my family with all my heart it’s just difficult with so many ailments
Dec 2017 · 234
Another year looming
CJ Sutherland Dec 2017
Another year  
is looming
do you have a prediction
of a dooming
have your resolutions come true?
or are they
  silly superstition
Procrastinators
what's another year for you?
2019
Dec 2017 · 649
The pain of Christmas
CJ Sutherland Dec 2017
We have lost
the reason
for the season

The pain of
over spending
Beyond our means

The pain of
giving
more time then
We have

The pain of
not
Giving at all

The pain of
Not giving
What we
Are willing  
to spare

The pain of
Frustrated Complaining
about the crowds
parking spaces
the hassles of it all

The pain of
the reason for the season
is  lost
to commercialized  
It’s only about  
Getting Stuff
More stuff

You have never
experienced a
Carmen
Christmas
Until you have been
To my house
My family remembers
And their child
Remember
Christmas

Now
Getting older and sick
my pain is
more physical
I need
A total knee replacement
I pack on ice to numb the pain
So many pain pills shots

I have a list to do
As long as Santa’s
I’m pulling all nighters
To get it all done
Cleaning cooking
baking baskets of treats
I don’t complain
It’s not my style

Pride perhaps

I do it out of pure love
The family will be here Christmas
For a few days
Waiting on them
Feeding them
Caring for their every need
I want them to remember
the love of giving

Think what Jesus gave us
His life our salvation
What are we giving
him on his Birthday

My knee COPD
all my other ailments
Are nothing

I pray Lord
Let me give them
One more year
As I fight back the pain
With tears
no one must see

My “teenage” Grandson
asked me
What I wanted for
Christmas
YOU
I told him
I DO NOT NEED ANYTHING
Yet
He earned money
Walk to the store
To buy me
a gift
He knows
I will love

I am planting seeds
Of
Generosity Goodness Kindness
Most importantly
LOVE
Merry Christmas
Dec 2017 · 241
Christmas Word of the Day
CJ Sutherland Dec 2017
Santatize
When you decorate
Lights ,ornaments
Nic Nacks
Everything accumulated by a lifetime
of memories
So much love
Your house
Sparkles
And
Shines
With.              Who
You.                    Are
Then.                   Now
Dec 2017 · 265
What child is this?
CJ Sutherland Dec 2017
Did you ever notice
what we do
when we hold
a small child ?

We all do it

Our Eyes

we look straight into
the child’s face and
silently speak
the wonder, awe, love,
that can’t be
put into words.

Our Lips

we use our lips a lot
when holding a baby
we purse them,
makes sounds
that aren’t words,
and we kiss
the child
from a distance.

Our Arms

if ever arms
expressed
holding something
precious
they do it
when we cradle
a tiny baby.
Few could describe
such grace,

But everyone
can picture it.

Our Whole Body

Did you ever
notice
we never
stand still
when holding
a tiny baby?

we slowly sway
from side to side
turn in half circles
lean
forward and back

Did you ever
stop
to think
that you were once
held that way?

Anyone
Who ever held you
as a tiny baby
held you that way

Did you ever
stop
to think
that God holds
you that way?
NOT
just when you
were a tiny child
but now
even if things
aren’t going well
ESPECIALLY  
if things aren’t going well

what child is this?

it’s ME
In God’s arms

Merry Christmas
Advent teaching at my church
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