and I’m not sad anymore
in fact I cant feel a thing
not from anger
not from kindness
not when instruments sing
emotionally muted
my tender tenderized
terrorized
and then burnt up
put out and then deep fried
I’d become despondent
then drifted out to sea
no longer look for shore
decided to just be

There’s a journal in the cabinet
Right beside my bed
In it filled are pages
Covered in pencil lead
Scribbled are the things I’d never dare to say
Thoughts that have no voice
Dreams that have no place

images in picture frames
shelves to hold them up
wrinkled smiles gloss over
eyes that shout for help
silence
nobody to the rescue
no distant sight of shore
hopeless

hope so
or hope soon
disappointment rounds the corner
photos
of long June
again behind to surface
missteps
misspoken
miss the lips that led
lips the lied
mystified
wish that hope was dead

I stole my fathers smile
He would not give it up without a fight
I do not answer when he calls
I know he'd just ask me for it back

I will chase you down
If you don’t love me
Fashion hairpins from
Fish ribs
Bring myself to anti-******
Thinking of your
Valleys and hills
Carry buckets of water
Over all the trails

I’ll teach you the value
Of holding my hand
And the separate pleasure
Meeting for moonlight sonata
In the middle of daybreak
And I will do it
Drag the entire world down
To fit in your palm
I will do it

I’d like to meet you in a daydream
On the foothills of the Appalachia
Spreading seeds and carrying
My harvest basket
I’d meet you for board game night
Across the table
And I’d meet you at a quarter past three
The dead silent night
Lift up my arms and bask in it
Surrounded by all of you

The stars were never this bright until tonight