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Kay Sep 2018
When you ask me how I am doing
I will smile and say I am fine

Because I am
In that moment
In that place

You didn’t ask me how I am doing
Every night at 1 am
Alone in my room

Suffocated by the emptiness around me
Gasping for someone who is not there
At that moment I feel like someone is choking me
Even when I am breathing in plenty of oxygen
I am kept awake by the screaming
Of self doubt and uncertainty
Eyes plastered to my dark room
Searching for someone
But only finding disappointment

But you did not ask me that
So I smile and say I am fine
Kay Sep 2018
I never sat down at a desk
In front of my blank laptop screen
And hammered at the keyboard
Hoping for my words to be seen

Parts of my soul just crept out
Waiting too long at the red light
Typing a new note into my phone
As the green light starts to shines bright

Or in bed hoping for sleep to come soon
To be awoken from my dream like state
By the bright light on my phone
Because this poem cannot wait

I never set out to write poems
Poems just came out of me
My emotions were always locked up
But these words are the key
Kay Sep 2018
I fell in love with you
The same way I fall asleep

Slowly
         Peacefully

The whole time I felt as secure
As I do nestled under the blankets on my bed

Little did I know
There was a nightmare patiently waiting
To come out from its hiding spot behind your hazel eyes

It crept up on me
Ending my peaceful slumber

Our love became twisted
Your smile became cruel

I was unable to escape
Like a dreamer with sleep paralysis
My belief in your ability to change
Blinded me like a sleeping mask

Eventually I woke up
From the nightmare that was you

         And I’ve been an insomniac ever since
Kay Sep 2018
You told me that I needed to open up
But I didn’t understand the problem
I opened up my legs for you every night
Kay Sep 2018
If there was a trailer for our love story
Maybe I would have seen the ending coming
And I wouldn’t be standing in the rain
At the ticket counter of the theater
Waiting in line for a refund
Kay Sep 2018
Your past is a staircase
Helping you climb
At your own pace
To a new and exciting place

Do not let the scrapes and bruises
From falls along the way
Slow you down
Or make you turn around

Do not be concerned
By purple marks and busted knees
Because with every bruise you earned
You nonetheless learned
Kay Sep 2018
I always shined brightest next to you
Because you need darkness to see the light

I never thought you needed me too
But without stars there would be no night

Just an endless black, what a boring hue
A starry sky is a way better view
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