At age 7, I was guilty
when I accepted an invitation
to go into the apartment of a neighbor
He smelled of beer as he groped me.

At age 10, I was guilty
when I walked home too late
because I missed the train
He popped out of the bushes
exposing himself.

At age 12, I was guilty
when my uncle forced
tongue into my mouth
because I could not
get away.

At age 14, I was guilty
when my uncle forced
me to sit on his lap
while in my bathing suit
and I ran away from home.

At age 16, I was guilty
when my uncle convinced
everyone that I was a liar
and I quit school.

At age 18, I was guilty
when I gave birth to
my first child,
because I was ignorant.

At age 20, I was guilty
when I saw the cardiologist
in the reflection of a lamp
*******  and the
police laughed at my report.

At age 30, I was guilty
when my employer
trapped me in the elevator
to ***** me, because I
was his subserviant.

At age 36, I was guilty
when I earned jujitsu honors
but risked going to jail
for defending myself.

At age 70, I was guilty
when a neighbor brought
me fruit and grabbed my
breast, because I was alone.

At age 72, I am guilty
of being a ferule woman
for 50 years and for
NOT be silent!

We are immersed
In this river growing
by the Nano second
as our brain drinks in
the pixels and photons.
Or   flows past us,
Lost in this river
of enlightenment,
or drowned if we
have not learned to swim.

I love, therefore you are,
I fight, therefore I am!

My tropical Jackfruit sapling survived last winter,
but not without care!  
I do hope it makes it, though I won't be there.

I have altered my path
and reset my compass
towards the abyss.  
Criscrossing my equators,  
full sail, laughing at the wind
in the hallow of my bones.

I feel the pain of
Words never uttered
Tears never shed
Wounds that don’t bleed
Thirst never quenched
Hands never held

The full spectrum effect of the flower
it's beautiful gift,  an opportunity. 
The tiny, feisty little flower
points me toward peace
and happiness that I have inside.
She shows me a gentle,
perceptual shift away from harm.
She gently stops the merry-go- round.
Lets my feet touch the here and now.
Makes sweet time stands still
until I want to jump back
on that merry-go-round.

Snakes retreat as
flowers turn
ever so slightly.

A Coopers Hawk
surfs a ripple
far above the trees
A young squirrel
is frozen in fear
feeling the nearing
disturbing the air,
much  too late.

Sissi is at the door
pressing to slip
from her collar
to catch cowering
creatures hiding
in the  shadows.

My silken companion
leads my perception
of the silent ripples
where predators hunt.

A sign of maturity is when
someone takes full responsibility
of how their actions will affect the future.  
Teaching children how to make decisions
on their own, is not always as successful
as we wish it to be, because we want
our children to be successful by our definition of success.  
What is important to also teach our children
is that we will also accept the outcome
of decisions that cause all of us  
immense pain and suffering,
though it could lead us all to an early grave.  
Teach our children that we feel their pain –
in our hearts, minds and bodies when we silently look on.  
Teach our children that they don't need to be silent with us,
because it is that silence that keeps them immature.
Teach our children that we are a safe place
in which to speak our hearts and minds
and they will be received in love, not in anger
or shame that they have not met our expectations.  
When we all come to this too late,
that silence becomes a stone
that can turn into a mountain.  
And a mother's tears become an ocean.