Chinaski, Chinaski come over here
God Chinaski you stink of beer
Your late again and your work is slow
I should write you up, one more and they will let you go

Chinaski thinks to himself you'll see, I will not conform to who you think I should be
You can stuff your job, the pay is lousy anyway
I have better ways to pass my days

Down to the civic Chinaski did trot
They wrote up his resignation and cut him a cheque
Chinaski took it with great cheer walked down the road and bought a couple bottles of wine and a fifth of ***** and a six pack of beer

He got in his car and off to the track to blow the lot on some halfpenny nag
And to pick up a lady to befriend, maybe get lucky and back to mine, where we can share some bottles of wine

If not so lucky then that's fine by me, I'll get drunk and write my short stories
There's been one constant in my life, longer even than I was married to my wife
That's my typewriter it's special you see
It follows me from room to room, cheers me up when I feel gloom
I put the paper in and turn the carriage and start to write of love and marriage of growing up and moving out, of fights and bars and women and cars.

I write of being on the street of all the women that I meet
I write of work and racing, I write of hardship that I'm facing

I write of the tough life I've had but I don't write it for you to be sad
I write to make you smile and laugh
I write because it helps you see, I write it to cleanse me

If I make you happy along the way then well what really is there left to say

Have a good day, have a Chinaski day

Dax Moy you made think
About straws being more than an object to **** up your drink
So I took all the straws upon my back threw them on the floor sat down and started to explore

Now different colours have different meanings
I want to make it clear, that some straws are, indeed, most welcome around here

Red Straws - Red is the colour of Life, Cupid and Love, its the giver of life running in your veins as blood.
Without Red I would have no reason to exist
I want to keep Red it's top of my list

Blue Straws - Blue is the colour of Water, the maintainer of life.
All sorts of life flourish and grow with the drop of water upon the soil, I need it along with the blood to help keep me alive.
I want to keep Blue, if its OK with you

Orange Straws - Orange is the colour of bright sunshine.
It gives us warmth and feeds plants, mammals and our souls.
Orange I'm not ready to let go

Yellow Straws - Yellow is the colour of sand, mixed with Water it makes things strong, buildings that can last very long
Yellow is useful as a handy glue, I'm decided I'm keeping Yellow too

Green Straws - Green is the colour of Grass - mixed with Yellow and Blue can add insulation to walls and ceilings
So dear colour Green, i am feeling that you are the last straw I am keeping

Black - the last straw on the floor, I only has one thing to do.
It ***** the drink from A to B and is the least useful straw for you and me

So now I am decided for me which colours are the best. Why don't you do the same and put your straws to the test.

Sat alone in their room
Vulnerable child not yet groomed
On the computer with ***** men pretending to be young and their friend
The fake young person starts a chat
A little bit of this a little bit of that
Luring the vulnerable child falsely to a dare
Take your pants off and sit on the chair
Angle the camera between your thighs
As your reward I've got a surprise
The fake friend continues with the chat
A little bit of this and a little bit of that
The vulnerable child chats right back pleased to be making friends
Agrees to meet the very next day, in a car park a few miles away
No one knows about the meet, no one is aware
The vulnerable child is alone and about to find out their fake friend is really 48
For the vulnerable child it is too late, about to find out where lies their fate
Sadly this trend is growing far and wide.
Let's help our children to stay safe online.

Once there was a young man, who lived from hand to mouth.
Finding work where he could while travelling South.

He had in mind to make his fortune, see his name in lights.
He had a special trick he could do, while riding on his bike.

He pedalled into a new Town one day, and set about to explore.
He began to look for work, by knocking on people's door.

He wasn't very fussy, there wasn't anything he wouldn't do.
From mopping floors and pulling pints to cleaning people's shoes.

One day whilst riding on his bike, his luck was on the turn.
He came upon a circus and travelling merry go round.

He saw his opportunity and knocked upon the door.
Asked if the Ringmaster would let him show his trick upon the floor.

The Ringmaster agreed and found some jugglers, dancers and a lion tamer as an audience for the trick.

The Ringmaster informed everyone the show would be free and to invite anyone else they liked; the show would begin at half past three.

At half past three the lad turned up, riding on his bike.
He pulled a double bogey pike, while standing on his head.

The Ringmaster was delighted it was the best trick he had seen.
He asked the lad to return the following night to perform before the Queen.

The lad was so excited he decided to phone home to invite his Mum and Dad.

The Ringmaster supplied his family tickets and paid their fare.
He put them up at a Hotel overnight and treated them with care.

The lad was top of the Bill that night, following the jugglers and muscle men   in leopard skin tights.

His time had come and in he rode with confidence and no fright.
He took a bow and pulled his wheels back and with a roar stood on his head, turning the handles left then right, he did a 360 degrees.

The crowd were a frenzy and showed their delight.
He rode a lap of honour round the ring on his bike.

Children came up to him to ask him to sign their books and for a photograph of his good looks.

The lad was delighted, his family too, no more mopping floors or shining shoes.

Now his name is in lights atop of the big tent, his name draws in big crowds and the lad never again paid rent.

His family are very proud and again he met the Queen.
This time the Queen with a sword announced the lad was now a Lord.

The lad became a man and duly met his wife, they went on to have four children, all of them learnt at an early age how to ride a bike.

The man grew old and in time passed away but his legacy would always stay; his kids had developed the trick to now include skids.

His name would always be in lights, he would always be known as the lad who developed a double bogey pike while standing on his head.