Why do I feel this way if it wasn’t meant to be more? Why is there a connection if you just decide to leave after a week?
Remember kissing on the floor?
Laughing with your tongue in your cheek?
Did you meet someone new?
I guess good taste in music isn’t enough to fall in love.
I really thought it might work this time between me and you.

Hey, do you remember how the honeysuckle tasted in December?
Spring and winter.
I still think about those words that you whisper ,
My hair, in your fingers
Hey, Are you home right now?
I know it’s late but I know somehow

We could

Run in the backyard,
Laughing as we sit on your trampoline
Stay with me until we both fall asleep
Dream of tomorrow, unaware of how it comes so quickly

Hey, do you remember?
How the honeysuckle tasted in December?

starry eyed, oh, girl
I catch my breath, to look at you
summer kissed,
winter dream
Adrift, In your colors,
peaches and cream
starry eyes snowy nights
slow drives your hands in mine
you’ve never felt so right

Slow breaths on my neck
Have never felt so familiar
A hallway of mirrors
I’ve seen her before
like relapsing on the floor
I wanted to write your something lovely
but I’m so scared of this lack of apathy

I wrote notes in my favorite book for you
But you moved away, one day in June
You waited for me to say goodbye
I could only recall that this was both happy and sad but maybe that’s fine?
I drove to see you and oh how you’ve missed home
The solace in your eye the monochrome gaze
They’ve all changed
Our friends, your home, the difference in the cold
The cover was torn my from favorite book
I still read those lines and think of you
oh how I’ve told you so many times that I’ve loved you

i take another sip of lies you fed me like the salinity filling my lungs
But your lies they taste good
Like the whispers in my ears
All the doubts and the fears
It felt like years
I still think about it
A constant cycle of empty promises
Like saltwater in my lungs
But I keep coming back for more
Replenish and regret
I try to forget
You, brunette
Oxygen debt
Deficient of you I need more
Like saltwater in my lungs

I found your earrings on my window sill
I’m not sure how long they’ve been there or
If you know they’re missing
I’m too scared to move them
So I just pretend not to see

She found your earrings on my window sill
I didn’t know what to say
It’s been months and I can’t even utter your name
Still you lie on the window sill

Winter came and found your earrings by the window
Cold and harsh
That’s what I loved about you
I wonder what you loved about me
Did you love these earrings?
Do you think of them
Do you think of me?

Use me
I want to feel your hurt
Keep digging for me
for more pain
I need it like you need those needles in your skin
Let the ink bleed from your pores
Into the darkness we breathe the last breaths of this game we count by months and years
i told you I don’t need your here but why did you listen to me

Light leaks and paranoia
The only colors in the frame
Contrast and blood
clairvoyant now only a waiting game
The only colors in the frame

You remind me of the weight I shed
Those winter nights begging you to come back
You look a lot like someone I knew in bed
Pitch black
Pitch black

Light leaks and paranoia
You call out my name
Now it’s all the same
You don’t hate me you love me but I took it all away

Maybe we were never in love but I remember those moments, that were something more. I hadn’t felt it before yet it seemed natural to feel this way about her. The way she spoke of you with others, in no way unhealthy, yet possessive in the sense of pride and support. To the subtle differences of her voice when you were alone, the guard that is let down. The person you thought you knew, is there but much deeper. They seem to make more sense now, the things you don’t know but hope to know one day.
I still think we can love each other, even if we aren’t defined by traditional standards. Besides, we have to. There comes a point when it all is too much. You’ve come too far to just stop, the fire might not be there but love is more than that. There comes hard times, times when it is over. But that is still your person. Things continue on, out of the sake of something else, whether conscious or not. We continue. We live through these moments to reach something. Some innate desire to finish what we started, or just the fact that we really cannot stop. This person, has become a critical part of your life and serves at the very least a structural purpose.
We know everything about one another, they are your other half, in the least romantic way. And maybe that is a part of love we do not consider. The mundane, biological dependency we acquire. However, underneath there is still something more. An unfamiliar sense of almost hopeful nostalgia for the future.

I have to stop myself from writing about you
Because then it would make these feelings real
You already told me you don’t love me
But I still don’t believe you

[ ] I missed the familiar taste of your lips on mine, like the exciting nostalgia of looking out at the peach tinted sun kissed glow of the mountains we both love. It’s just like it used to be but so much more. You pull me in I know you feel it too.

Will this ever be anything more?
Can you be mine and can I be yours
The look in yours eyes tonight has me craving more
Take my hand I’m waiting for you
You kiss me that way I hope it’s true
Just use me for more than the warmth
I leave your bed to go back north

I thought I loved the East Coast until I saw your eyes look back at me under the moonlight slipping through the window.
I thought I loved the East Coast until we were pressed together, laughing, trying to fit on your twin mattress.
I thought I loved the East Coast until I felt your breath on my neck at four in the morning.
I long for the Pacific and for you to take me there.

Have you ever met someone that makes you want to create art? Just create. Write music. Create a film. Someone so beautiful you can't hold it in and the only way to express it is through painting the perfect masterpiece? But the perfect masterpiece is her, the ultimate piece of art. Not just any art, the awe inspiring combination of sounds and colors that hit you at your core, inspiring the never ending cycle of creating inadequate art to reflect your perception of her perfection only to fail to articulate any ounce of her beauty.

You're the cure to this melancholy nostalgia that has followed me through life.
Nothing is as bad as I remember and everything does get better.
We can face this together.

Hold on to the people who make life less scary

I've never craved anything as much as I crave you.

You are my favorite thing to see when I first wake up.
Your voice is my favorite to hear whisper "goodnight."
The perfect beginning
The perfect ending.
You are perfect.

I hate clichés as much as you do
But I love you so much it hurts
And I don't know if you know that I do
Or if I whisper it to you as you sleep
To calm this anxious insomniac
You chose to share a bed with.
Don't leave, just stay and keep me warm
That's all I ask, and I can get through the day.

No one else has ever felt this,
And at the same time, I know everyone has.
I'm so far away from home and it's lonely.
But tonight as we drove home,
You fell asleep on me and I couldn't help but
Think of how much I love your hands.
Is that weird?
Your hands are so familiar,
They have a piece of home in them,
And when I hold them.
The loneliness goes away.

The end of Summer draws nearer by the second. I can feel the rain coming as my bones tighten. The salty air of the coast engulfs my lungs, the taste of the ocean lingers on my tongue. I'm going to miss this. Everyone is saying the world is ending, they've been saying it for weeks now but this time, this time it's happening. Death is not a myth anymore. Death is a waiting visitor approaching our doorsteps.

I'm just a hand me down friend,
You grew out of me like your loose split ends.

If you count the nights
Look back in time
I try and remember when we were all fine
Before fun meant
Passed out drunk on the floor
Higher than ever before
Before fun meant
*** in the back of a car
We just wait next door
And now I see
You just replaced me
With every substance that you could see
So now do you see?
That I'm miss you
But are you missing me?

I'm scared to death of what comes next
But maybe it's not about how I feel.

If I Hold Your Hand, I'm Holding On For Dear Life.

It's been a week without you here
and honestly it's killing me, my dear.

Alone in the dark,
Far and apart,
My mind starts shaping forms in my heart.
All I can see
You and me
Falling fast by the cool ocean breeze.
Your smile by far,
Is my most favorite star,
Scattered along in the galaxy you are.

I'm homesick when you're not with me.

All I know is that you make me want to write and no one else makes me feel that way.

She's special in how she alters time
Seconds don't matter in the same
Way they do when you're not around.

You're like
The city lights at night
A scratch in music
Exposed for too long
The coast line
A dislocated spine
Dream sequence on repeat
For years in the backseat
Slow guitar
And the North Star

I dread the sleep and the thoughts each week

I want nothing more than to never grow up

(How do I get out of my mind)

I hope you're happy
And I mean that.
It seems to me my hair is now longer
My pants are no longer darker
And you live a little farther.
Now happy is not black and white
Happy was spelled with a Y
Back in junior high.
Today it's spelled with a joint
A bottle of jack, Oh, I forgot the exclamation point.
In the end it seems okay.
It's been ten years, for some four, for some less.
Nothing can break us, nevertheless.
It wasn't like the movies and it wasn't like the books.
Some got lost,
and we don't exchange looks.
But I won't forget the windows down,
The music loud.
I hope it meant to you what it meant to me,
And I hope you're happy.

Nostalgia cuts deep on these days.
Burn the tobacco faster.
I don't care anyways.
I can't tell if the skies are any clearer.

I fell behind because I was too busy pushing you forward.

im in the lost and found but no ones looking for me

Grass stains
Ash trays
Empty lives
Empty days
Don't think twice
About the second choice

Do they miss me like I miss them?
Am I a voice inside their head?
Or am I just another kid no one gets?

No one ever says goodbye
They just leave.

I struggle to find words that portray the feelings I have for you.
There's more to love than words.
Out of these elaborate languages we've somehow constructed
nothing can grasp the complexity for how you make me feel.

You are the music
I have been looking for
And I never want to turn you down

I long for you in the morning
I long for you when I'm cold
I long for your feeling of peace and home .

I'm scared one day soon
The skies will come crashing down again
And this time it will be my fault.

I need you out of my head and in my bed

A fault line runs in me through and through
Awakening unexpectedly,
Tearing at me
Night and day.
It crackles in the skin of my hands
I hide it from everyone.
You changed that,
As we search for each other in the dark,
Our skin and hair
Here and there.
I slept with a soundtrack
Of your breaths,
Whispering to me
The calmness of assurance
What else could I need,
The cracks within me fell asleep,
And so did we.

Remember the way the leaves used to crumble between the spokes of our tires?
The exciting monotony of that broken pavement
The stories, the races,
and now,
Just the few paces
That separate us.
For our world is the same,
Yet so different from those years ago
Where life let our happiness flow.