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105 · Apr 19
speaking
ivan Apr 19
sometimes I feel like I’m sick
not because I really am
but because I just feel bad

it’s crazy
that if your mental state is very bad
it can become physical

Probably what I’m feeling right now
it’s 00:28
and im not tired

I feel dizzy when I close my eyes
feel like I’m the biggest thing in the world
uncomfortable

I’m not even home
I just want to go home and sleep there
I don’t wanna cry here

Maybe this is getting too long
I didnt even plan on writing
That’s why it’s so messy
Sorry

I can’t connect words this time
And I don’t feel that I will rest this time
Good night!
I couldn’t even think on this one just wanted to let the things out
94 · Dec 2024
dress that dances
ivan Dec 2024
she spins,
spins to the song

her long dress
quietly dances to the rhythm
of the tambourines
glasses batting
and leather drums

she spins,
spins to the song

she looks up, calling them
then now she’ll be one of them
those who suffered
those with consumed lives

‘no, never alone.’
they whisper,
‘for now she has shown, never alone.’
the beauty of dance
67 · Apr 24
limbless
ivan Apr 24
hold,
hold these white petals

while you stain them with blood
blade smells like the metal in your veins
respect for the dead

respect for the dead

mangled body
id ask,
why?

why do YOU look at it
it’ll make you sick

BEHOLD!

BEHOLD THE LIMBLESS BODY!

so easy, so easy to find
white petals soaked in the red river
while petals running through your face

respect for the dead
43 · May 26
pellucid
ivan May 26
i had a friend
unmistakable gaze
blurry thoughts
your throat lingering with knots

oh, it all seemed like a dream
your kiss
how you told me it would all be
just,
just fine

i had a friend,
it’s 12:43
under a bridge
you weep

12:44
hold you,
gripping your wrists
‘i need to get out,’
‘get out of this prolonged dream,’
‘dream that if continues,’
‘it will take all away from us’

i have a friend
i am loved!
i am loved!

not like anyone,
not on the news
you’re special
oh, how I miss our talks on the stairs
5 · Jul 9
chimes
ivan Jul 9
your voice drips..
down my skin, it chimes
refusing to stop its ringing

i have written you
thousands of promises and dreams
vows i swore i would keep close

what i believed was forever
but the bell keeps tolling
echoing through me.

it is you that spoke
tears like dew,
jewels that sing

— The End —