im weightless in the sea

i try to swim, swim back

back to the flowers,
the footsteps

to the shore

but i chose to drown
it’s my fault i’m weightless

like jellyfish
i glow in the sea
swimming, free

take a breath
but you chose death

your voice drips..
down my skin, it chimes
refusing to stop its ringing

i have written you
thousands of promises and dreams
vows i swore i would keep close

what i believed was forever
but the bell keeps tolling
echoing through me.

it is you that spoke
tears like dew,
jewels that sing

trained to help
those who yelp
those who can’t even
help themselves

put a blue leash on me
as i see you
my tail wags

determined to help
just you now
just you

…

i see you laying on the ground
sirens almost making me deaf
put a blue leash on me
it’s not time to leave yet, is it?

sometimes I feel like I’m sick
not because I really am
but because I just feel bad

it’s crazy
that if your mental state is very bad
it can become physical

Probably what I’m feeling right now
it’s 00:28
and im not tired

I feel dizzy when I close my eyes
feel like I’m the biggest thing in the world
uncomfortable

I’m not even home
I just want to go home and sleep there
I don’t wanna cry here

Maybe this is getting too long
I didnt even plan on writing
That’s why it’s so messy
Sorry

I can’t connect words this time
And I don’t feel that I will rest this time
Good night!

your old life is no more
you are not a girl
you killed her
you killed a girl

waking up
feeling like her
cut your hair
silently you swear
that you’ll change
but isn’t it strange?

when will she die?
when will she die in me?
she always comes back
but my old life is no more

throughout the night
you scream with delight
from far away,
she hears you.

she spins,
spins to the song

her long dress
quietly dances to the rhythm
of the tambourines
glasses batting
and leather drums

she spins,
spins to the song

she looks up, calling them
then now she’ll be one of them
those who suffered
those with consumed lives

‘no, never alone.’
they whisper,
‘for now she has shown, never alone.’

hold,
hold these white petals

while you stain them with blood
blade smells like the metal in your veins
respect for the dead

respect for the dead

mangled body
id ask,
why?

why do YOU look at it
it’ll make you sick

BEHOLD!

BEHOLD THE LIMBLESS BODY!

so easy, so easy to find
white petals soaked in the red river
while petals running through your face

respect for the dead