i lay awake at night
and
listen to the sound the rain makes.
it spatters onto the ground with such purpose
that i can not help but feel jealousy in the pit
of my empty stomach.
the rain knows where its going and where its been.
i wander, confused at who i am and who i'm going to be.
i crave the feeling of certainty.
to know if i'm going to pull the string attached to my lips
and pull it into another forced smile another day.
i lay awake at night and
wish to be a drop of rain.

Simple soft songs
hum the rhythms
summer evenings, steel blue skies
soft pink the skin of honey blossoms in the wind
lily white throats curve to catch

Warm feet bare to the earth
Sink in the mud
Run
Spin with the wind the heavy curtains of rain
hide the soft green shoots of grass
obscure all things past to mist and cool water

Wash away sharp city skylines
replace them with lush curves
Scrub the touch of vengeance and mercy
leave only the lightning, and the taste of rain filled air
Flickers of florescent lights like purple paints
every small pain soaked up like a sponge
seeps from skin I had thought broken
bruised against the rocks cut against the teeth
now healed
soft golden glistens the sunset through the storm off of
blue veins like vines
silver echoes

Leaving only the rain
and the eyes in the dark
the hymn of those set free

from your lips in angry waves of nausea green
come those sweet words and feathery caresses.
a thick, musky gas that hangs,
meaningless sentences strewn from thin air,
a cloud of wrathful bees swarming;
ready to encase, devour
my body and leave you whole.
you watch as I shove firecrackers between my teeth,
sparks fiery, light flying
sending heavy shadows like knives toward me.

my love, don't go--leave me and my soul will die.
footsteps I do not hear, dim and disappear;
a candle flickers and dissipates into fragments.
my body sags under the weight of failed causes, my heart
has been stuffed with more debris than I can hold in my palms.
it's thanks to you, thanks to you, my devil, my love.