I push away my plate
And you take away my friends
Tell me how that's fair
How taking away the only people
Who can help me
When I want to end my life
Will make anything better?
I'll only push harder
After this threat
All I want to do
Is cut and starve and cry
Tell me how that's better
How making me hate myself
Will promote me to
Take precautions to ensure
That my life is longer
Tell me how it's easier
To get my mind off everything
When all I'm left with
Is my thoughts
And my thoughts rip me apart
Day after day
I'm almost beyond caring
I want to die just to spite you
Tell me how that's better

{NR}

I hope that when you swallow
I leave a bitter taste on your tongue
I hope that hearing our music
Leaves ringing in your ears
I hope that you cant drive
Without constantly glancing
to your right
I hope that every little thing
Is reminiscent of how I ruined you
Because sure as hell
You ruined me

I'm sitting all alone
Listening to blink 182
I can't stop thinking of how I hate you.
But please don't hang up the phone
Don't load the gun
When you're trying to blow off steam
Because I know exactly were to shoot your self esteem.

You told me you loved me
But I couldn't see the signs
By the time you walked away
I'd already heard your goodbye
I said it a million times
Over and over in my head
Mentally I'm already
And long since have been dead
You were just the hearse
Taking me to my grave
When you're doing the killing
You can't be the one to save

{NR}

You were never the kind
Of person
Who could
Get comfortable, who could settle down.
I felt the uprooting.
You set fire to this house
You let the smoke rise,
Before you warned me of danger.
Only when you were safe,
Could I be warned.
By then it was too late.
I had already suffocated.

i love you this morning
it's a come home safe morning
fog on the road
& no seatbelt kind of morning
the sun is over easy
& nothing's on fire
there's punctuation
where i don't want it
and extra love
in the glovebox of my car
been thinking about being honest
how these poems are all me
but they tell the story
how someone else
might believe it happened
within reasonable doubt
no copy & pasted love letters
no 'who ever says hello first gets my attention for the day'
try a little tenderness
in my ears and today
there are instruments
in the back of my head
i think you love me
because i'm sunburned
felt it in a 'come hell or high water' kinda way, that 'touched from far away' kinda way that 'if i touch this piano one more time one of us is going to break' kinda way
and i drove over 17 bridges yesterday and today i'll do it again
and i think nobody gets
what that means except maybe you
i just tell them i love the scenery
that somebody must've made
these trees blush just for me
you know how i love
to change the subject
i bet they'd love the view
i bet you would too
and all these metaphors
for other things are beside the point
this is a metaphor
for why i don't wear my seatbelt
a metaphor for why whiskey
knows me better than you
could ever try to
all the buildings seemed to sag yesterday and all the stars
are doing that cliche thing
where they talk
quiet jet noise
& some lumbering giant
made everything shake
not those hand metaphors
not another one of those
& keep the sea to yourself
i think it was a train
it's sound hugged the embankment
for a moment
and then trailed off into nowhere
and that's kind of like me
how there's a town called 'rescue'
close to my home &
it's no coincidence
that i've never been there

Do we break
Or brake
I think its been too long, now
They're synonymous
With pain
So I'll drive
Right off this cliff

{NR}