I find a way
When color
When color has no meaning
And the painted hills
The hills I sleep on
Know
Only grey
I find a way
When pain is
When pain is the reason
To hope for joy
Joy from smile
Song
I find a way
When every path
Is a new way
To oblivion
Where my greatest dreams
Can be forgotten
Find a way
Life
To love forevermore

Here it comes again
Destiny
I fight against
Fate and faith
I'm heading for an end
And maybe I deserve this pain I feel
How many times
My naked blood
Disbelief
I'll reach oblivion
And no memory shall remain

Winter falls into a life like so many leaves on the ground
Golden and amber, orange and red
The color of a blooming sun
Will signify death
Now is the season
To think I once held such spring in my soul
Growing and living, loving arms giving
The spring in my soul
Would meet the wind
Now is the season
And only a month can be a cause
The names of lost leaders
Like the days becoming shorter
And less is the light
Now is the season
And i wouldnt dare to dream your name
Haunting and tragic, somber, beautiful
The hope of a morning
Torn to pieces by darkest of night
You are the reason

I wish the letters I put on page
The letters making words
The words that explain my thoughts
I wish each letter was a sound
And each poem was a song
So you could hear it
And know my music
The melody is simple
The harmony
Lasts forever
The harmony lasts forever
You would listen
Again
Learn the words
Know the tune
You would listen
And sing along
The harmony
Lasts forever
The harmony lasts forever

Isn't a flower music plucked from a stem
Blooming eternal in a moment
A sweet note
A lonesome night
I imagine love lasts forever
Still seeds will grow
Or simply fade
Still a night will fall
Only sometimes is the moon new
I want to feel
I want to be
To be real
Like hands can know
Like the hands hold
Isn't a cloud music that covers my sky
Only eyes that fight the ocean
Beautiful
Ephemeral
We can never die
Not with such dreams we hold onto
Still the rain will fall
Put me to the ground
Only sometimes is it the showers of may
That bring the flowers of april
I want to live
And believe
To be real
As the way your heart beats
The way your heart knows

Somehow I hear your sound
And I know I'm not a stranger
As though netherworlds where I roam
I find a home
And even doors
And every room
I find the otherside
I find you there
Speaking meaning from the nonsense

Let your music guide me
My heart is all I am feeling
As though sharpened knife and blunted clubs
I find my peace
And even castles
And every ghost
I find a spirit that is love
I find you there
Giving hope when all is abyss

I wish that I could see you now
Speak words through voices plain
When the music is all that matters
Even a timeless solo
Every note a giving hand
Harmony to guide me home
I find I am not alone
I find my truth
Listening to your song

All the signs are red
Sign of the ram
As I see a noose hanging over my head
Sign of the ******
I can fall into
Announcing my intentions
I'm only here
Until I'm nothing anymore
All the signs point too
Stars amount to blood
And I know a knife and my verdant flesh
Time that I bleed
I can sink until
My head is far beneath
I only breath
If I can find the air

I'm so tired
   Of the trying
The way I play with words
  Saying more with less
And the only lesson I have learned
Be
Simple
For
The
Masses
Are
                       Simple
Now come up
    Comeuppance all at once
Amateurs that strike against
    The professional
Its a lesson taught against from
Poets
Deaf
Dumb
Blind
And
Cynical
                       Simply said

Just
For once
True light may shine
That there could never be
An end to the ocean
Only waves
Only tides
Just

Wait and wash over my body
Wait as the weight I can carry so far
Loses weight in the infinitesimal ocean
And then
There were you're eyes
There were you're dreams

Just
Right now
The shore sees the sun
And the ocean outlives us all
We are merely salt
In the water
Only shells
Just

Give as I give my into it
Live As though years are invention
Just another way the reign of man
The hopeless end
Our bones pick up blunted weapons
Fights against the rain

It's only water
And as simple as it seems
Its only water
That drowns out everything

There is life in the ocean
The lunatic laughs as she takes her life
Whence life began
We make believe it's some ending

A symphony of saxophones may announce
These words are less than sound
Make it safe to breathe
As my mind goes finding deadly places

Anyone is anywhere at all
And all that really matters
Maybe I can feel
Even feel I'm dying

A gospel from the prophets must announce
This skin is empty now
Give me blood to bleed
As I break my shape into painful pieces

Always even if the dark is whole
And nothing really matters
Maybe I can see
A little glimpse of light

So ends the season
You haven't known god since she left
When you truly lived in the streets
Wondered at the conversations you never heard
And drove past a building everyday
You never once have been inside of
I think the price for these scars is too high
I think the sun sets in a new way each time
I think the skyline I can see from my window
Is only a dream
I think the light's playing tricks on my eyes
Only colors and shapes
But what to believe in
And what is the reason?
You haven't known god since she left
So ends the season

We will live,
In the sun burst that guides us through morning,
In the song of jubilant worship,
In the arms of the light,
In the hands
And the mind
We will live

As I couldn't ever touch without the feeling,
And I couldn't ever feel unless I know,
We will live as the dreamers of bodies,
Surrounded by shadows

We will live
In the scars of constellations,
In the beauty once wrought with despair,
In the hair of a sunrise,
In the skin
And the heart
We will live

As I couldn't ever see without your gaze,
And I'm only ever painted as your eyes,
We will live as the truth to believe in,
Surrounded by lies

I know you have been hurt before
And every trust becomes the blood
We won't see moons when we close our eyes
We won't see stars in our scars
And we may breathe
Still the air wont taste so sweet
Like a house falling into the sea
Like the pain can't be relieved
I know you have been hurt before
And hands could never heal you
And life teaches that we should be numb
With only one way that I can feel
Only love

As each star is a home to some unknown
My own hands reach into darkness
Alone
We're in this together
I only want to know
Prices being so high
The more I buy
The deeper the debt my heart becomes
All I pay
Resounding depth
Remind me why I came
And if I have a name
Speak it softly as the oncoming morning
As the unknown the stars contain
Find their rest
And answers find my every question
Right now is all my skin
Forever
Muscles moving fingers
Image in mind
I can't create
Unless you are real
Alone
We're in this together

Always was a word to slay my mind
No other world
         Give me peace
         Give me bliss
         Give me hope
Days that only end in storms
Raging thunder and ravishing beauty
        Give me joy
        Give me truth
        Give me light
Everything I couldn't save
Everything I'll never be
        Give me strength
        Give me time
        Give me love
And I'll give my all
         Grave from a cradle
                     Kiss from a stranger
                             Nothing could ever mean as much

Our glorious path
Before us like chrysanthemums spread
Where each day is a sunrise
And each step
A bright tomorrow
I only want to hear the voice
As it sings
Before me a beautiful song
Where each note
Denotes a heavenly truth
Becoming a worldly proof
All I need to believe in
All I need
The belief
Our glorious path
Shines a gold sun into the darkness
Where each hope is a becoming
And each dream
Becomes of you
All I need to believe in
All I need
All that is forever
All I need
The belief

I count the time slowly
So many hands that don't know how to feel
Moving towards oblivion
Peace and destruction
Time and time only
Each face with the same expression
Only legs that run away
And smiles that fade

A day is a new day
With a meaning all its own
And an ultimate ending
We cant define

I count the time slowly
Designate an area in the sky
As what we are
And who am I?
Time as a feeling
All the stars that shine in a moment
Only skin that is fleeting
And smiles that fade

I'm afraid the way she walks into the night
Will become hands from hell and darkened stars
That she denies the moon which fights to save her
And no sun may rise again to grace her skin
Even the scars tell a story
Even the stars
But evening is calling
I'm afraid the way she walks into the night

Do not know hell the way I do
Do not step barefooted on the rocks of futures torture
Let the sharpened edges scream
And carve the flesh

She was born with a name in your heart
A whispered truth
As the world around grows loud
It speaks to her

I'm afraid the way she walks into the night
With a ghost in her shadow and a pain on her palm
That even the beauty of love would not be felt
And no morning comes with this loss
Even the moon cries her image
Even the nebulas grow her direction
But evening was meant to be dark
I'm afraid the way she walks into the night

Do not know hell the way I do
When we wish on satellites to maybe see a star
And we only ever know the witching hour
In all its hateful dimensions

She was born the hope of the light
A frenzied dream
A constellation mind
And silent screams

I'm afraid the way she walks into the night

Now I hear so many voices
I don't know how a color brings me love
I hear yes and no and know as doubt
What is there trust?

Blue be my confusion
Purple close to truth

How I hear a chorus of a song
Her voice, your voice, melodies
And all the love I dream of
The blackness that I fear

Red becomes the fire
White as shining light

A hard sun gonna rise
Beating me black in the eyes
Too much light will only show
My scars
A hard rain gonna fall
For once and once for all
Put me to the ground
My love

And with her last step
She walks to me
My suicide
I feel like I'm alive

A hard night bringin stars
a misforgotten dark
A sleep a couple hours
A dream
A hard sun gonna turn
Burn away my broken skin
Make me all the dust
The always been

And in the sunset
I'm waiting there
An empty death
And life forever

This is my heart
Some abandoned field
Where feet don't walk
And I won't expect a flower to grow
Sunset is happening now
Even in the morning
Where the night becomes so dark
The stars find strength to shine

Shine mercy
Show
Be a light
As I'm the skin
Shine on me

This is my heart
On display for you
Forget the blood that leaves a stain
Hear a voice
And dont worry
That its been long since I have smiled
If im falling apart
To fall into you

Be the arms
Hold
Be the hands
To touch a soul
And heal me

She was a flower
In my forty year desert
The smallest glimpse of redemption
Which held my hope
And the sands that shift under my feet
Bring me to a name
My holy land
She was

May I fear not the fire
As I drink the water?
May I fear not the sun
As I wish on  stars?

She was a cloud
In her I see a face
In my broken lawless sky
I dream of eyes
And the winds that blow confusion
Bring me all the truth
My only truth
She was

May I hold not to endings
As I pray to begin?
May I die one day in peace
Her by my side?

I will see a different sky
Noon or night
I'm always searching for horizons
Always seeking

A blue that I don't know
Cloud of different shapes
I'm westward facing seeing sunsets
Always reaching

All that I gave is all I am
I gave it all
Everything
But the winds around me
The air is changing
Fading into light

Whither when I close my eyes
If I sleep or dream
Its yesterday
Tomorrow's suns are rising

I will see a different sky
Flowing from a fleeting feeling
Only my soul
Becoming real

All that I live is all that I give
My rivers and my mountains
Blood and scars
Be the skin around me changing
A name an endless smile
And a memory

I will see a different sky

I know the fires of the sun
Every ray of light life giving
Destroys a little more
A spark for you would devastate my city

Why does passion burn intensely?
That my heart would turn to ash
Its not what I intend
That my heart becomes the coal

Fire
Fire brings warmth
Fire eviscerates
I guess its just my fate
To be only smoke and memory
As the better parts of me
Burn away

I know the fires of the sun
And the bottom of the ocean
Both are fools to gravities charms
The weight you give me

Why does passion reach so fully?
That there is no skin I know
That isn't marked
By your tattooed name

Fire
My soul and heart on fire
Fire is the name I love
I'll burn as willing tinder
To shed light upon your dreams
I only hope you love me
As a dream that will never be

Today was a long day, like all the rest.  I woke up in a place that doesn't feel like home, and I'll fall asleep in a place much the same.  As always, I've had a few thoughts on my mind I couldn't find a way to abandon or leave behind.  Some new, and sure to be gone by tommorrow, others that have haunted me for quite some time
Thoughts such as these; I have potential, but lack ambition,Why? What really matters to me? What would have to change for me to want to be the best I can be? It can't be my own suffering. I've long suffered in myriad ways, personal, societal, spiritual, physical.  I hate it, but I don't even know where to begin to change it.  The thought won't leave me
I think about the money I owe, and the money I make, and the world I live in. My car is dependable now, after nearly two years, and three I have bought. A few minor repairs from when I got it, but it runs well, which is a pleasant change. And a load off my mind, but I still owe money on a car that has repairs that cost more than I owe on it.  I suppose I will sell it for scrap, get all the money I can out of it. That one car I wrecked on a suicidal impulse got me a grand, I could use another grand even if it cost me four thousand over the next three years.  Cars.....**** cars
**** that I need them to survive.
I think about my father, he is 65 and it has been a year since I have seen him, I miss him dearly, and I don't know how much more opportunity I will have to spend time with him.  I know I need to be with him as much as possible.  But I never am
I think about a girl, three girls actually, but one more than the other two. I'm sure if she read this she would know who she is.  All three are smart, and beautiful, one is funny, one is altruistic, one is the one that I think about the most, for almost no reason.  I think about a girl.  She is beautiful even if she doesn't know it. I love her even if I didn't show it. And I would trade away my pride for her happiness.  I would gladly die that she could live forever.  Sadly, it seems she will be gone before I or any man has a chance to save her
I think about the world, and how its ending. And how I want to change it, and how I can't change myself

I will
As surely as the dawn brings light
Into dark and broken night
I will
But still
I know how forever feels
And the ugliness it reveals
But still
I will
Remember my name
And the reason I came
I will
Sing again
I will

It should be a home
I know
AM and PM
Home stereo
What good words will you say?
What good songs will you play?
Sun dials antenna
Broadwith
I ask you not broadcast
The low end of the spectrum
What good news do you bring?
What new song will you sing?
Eight-six the FM
I cannot listen anymore
It's music I suppose
From an evil radio

The eyes of the moon
I wish it were that
They watched over me

The skin held the scars
But still as always
Revealed a story

The moon is not real
I never got to
Hold her in my arms

I only ever felt
Her more than any
Ever felt before

I reach out a hand
But cannot touch you
I know what it means

The moon is not real

I dream a cemetery
Shadows and silhouettes taking the hand
And guiding the traveler to a grave
No morning comes with flowers
No hymns are sung
No prayer begun
I dream an empty planet
I'm afraid of the clouds where she might be
Lost in darkened hopeless sight
Where no sun is shining now
No stars
No horizon
I dream the birds are crying
A lingering pall and hidden tears
Wings are broken
Nest abandoned
And me
I dream a yellow field
Once with planted seeds
A scarecrow menace lurking
No warning
Only wind
The crow has gone away

Indicated by the moon
The way it rises
While its waning
Climbing a ladder to the height of the night
And looking back
At the ocean he loves

The moon forever dances with the ocean
The push and the pull
The tides follow suit
As moving feet from mystic memory
Some eternal truth
Some kind of love

The night is a time of beauty
When the blanket is the sky above
And the stars are there for us
To watch and guide us
On, along, to guide us home
They watch forever dance
And sing as spheres of song

If you listen you can hear
In our revelry the stars are smiling
As their hands of softest light
Lay the moon into the morning
And show us all
A better way to fall

The moon will sleep in peace inside the ocean

Dragons on a wing
Mid-afternoon
Purple and yellow blood
In empty fields

Release me
These chains that bind me in
Bog me down
And hold me back

Release

Dragons in the deep
And waiting
Dragons in the sky
That soar too high

And me
Relief
Coils serpentine
With own belief

Release

The last of dragons slain
By hateful menace
Seek fame and regard
Reward of gold

Release
Release me
From these tedious schemes
And this blood

From first call to final rights
The door badge a colorful arrangement
Announcing only loss
We lose the plot
We march in procession to the grave
Our uneneding disposition
We only wake for the deceased
The mourners
The bereaved
All that remains
And how does it register?
When we speak the language of death

Maybe everything around me is a metaphor
As the old me is dying
Shots ring out ten thousand miles away
Chaos and confusion in my own heart
And in the capital

And the really scary thing
Is not how big it is
But how little it takes
To turn a world upside down

Maybe it is something I can't understand
How my pain can feel so large
While there are woman and children weeping
Pain and suffering in my own heart
And in the capital

Still the strangest thing to me
Is how I can be so selfish
When my own heart still is beating
But there are one hundred people dead
In the capital

And the really scary thing
Is not how great the pain is
But how little it takes
To cause it

Even through his blue
He painted starry night
His favorite chair
His favorite pipe
And a sealed up bag containing
Hashish
He could not smoke the pain away

A missing ear becomes a symbol
Only the madness of knowing
Ear lobe
His love
The way no one else does
*****
No numb could take the pain away

Van Gogh
Died poor
And alone
In a field that was
His last expression
He died by his own hand
It wasn't even raining

It should have been

She fell too far to the right
For me to be at my center
And hold her
Better than any arms ever could
I couldn't break at the red light
The only way to stop
Is like a star
Falling in a black hole
She fell too far to the left
So far my hands can't reach her
And all I feel
Is the pain
Of what should have been
Nothings really right
          What
        Is
Left?

As far as eyes can see
There is distance
The ***** of the world fading from view
Failing as love
I fade from you
There are horizons
Where the sun never rises
The moon in its many disguises
Unwelcomed as night sets
Pocked marked by meteors
As far as eyes can see
There is black and white
The color lost in shades of grey
Indescribable definitions
With no clear line
As far as eyes can see
There is no meaning
And no reason
Only skin that doesn't care as much to feel
And pain that's becoming all too real

There still is hope
In America
Still
There is
Hope

We want to love
A simple perfect world
Some masterful design
An unknown
We have heart
Still our blood moves now in vain
And if you cut me how it spills
Always the scars

As long as there's injustice in the world
There is room for jealousy
As long as jealousy still lives
There will be hate

We want to live
Denying the natural order of things
For every up there is a down
And only light when no more darkness
We have faith
Only because these gloomy days
Have taught us how to lose
And lose all hope

I love you so much
That I let it destroy me
I left alone to search for oceans
Where I could maybe find some depth
I love you more
I loved you before
When the primordial soup was all there was
Monomers when we were together
Carbon and protein
And all of these things
That make our lives
And all of our dreams
I love you so much
That one and one
Is all the same
And we became
Each other
And the only love I feel
Is the love you give to me
I love you so much
I'll love you again
When our seeds and bones are dust
And we are only the memory in the wind
Once every part of who we are
In the farthest parts of space
Burns brightly as a star
We shine as one
Like we have
Since before time

We share the same goals
And the same
Hopes
Our skin
Only conceals
What our blood reveals

We are a nation in crisis

But hopefully
The crisis doesn't tear us apart
As most would expect
But rather
It brings us together

One love
One heart
Let's get together and feel alright

Yes
We're on the brink
The brink of finding peace
We can make a change forward
For the best

One love

Art cannot exist
Within such selfishness
Beauty dies alone
Unnoticed

To be a philosopher
Is to walk down a dark road
As are the guiding principles of life
Hatred
Greed
Selfishness
Intolerance
A fear of what cannot be understood
When no one understands love

We are a people on the brink
Staring squarely with every pair of eyes
At the end
That we don't know
That we create

Every pair of eyes
Blind to the symbols
These turtles, fish and golden robes
Muddied by the river
Blind to the symbols
Every pair of eyes
Watching our own demise

The bear rises from they east

I know just what it means

To be a philosopher
Is a soul killing experiment
And a lesson of the crooked ways even the innocent live

Plato tried to teach the youth
The truth
And was murdered
Today
The radio
Is evil

To be a philosopher
Is a life ending experience
And the only way to ever save a soul

I am all the rage
Lashing out at walls
Striking steering wheels
Pounding on the pavement as venomous blood
Its all the love in my heart
Until the world can hear me
I am all the rage
Oceans swelling
Ships sinking
Sailors drowning in a way of names forgotten
Its all the truth I can't hold
Because my strength is on the wane
I am all the rage
Of a man
Whose life
Hasn't gone exactly to plan
And whose dreams
Now can only cause him pain

Its all the rage
And everyone alive
Must feel the same

And from the start
       With a smile
You played the part
       Of a rifle
Aiming for my heart
How many bullets I don't understand
And in the end
       With a silence
A dagger sent
         To violence
Aiming for my skin
How many times again must I bleed

Before I believe
Nothings gonna change my world
Nothings all it ever was

A rifle in incapable hands
And a grave with no tombstone
For the innocent

I don't know where I am
I have a name that isn't mine
And reaching hands

Hold me now through darkness
Hold me now
I'll carry on

I sit up
Looking to give up
If I'm a little unsteady
It's only because I'm ready

I don't know where I am
But I know that where I'm going
You'll be there too

I have a face that fades with time
And your eyes
Guide me to the light

I lay down
As I try now
If I'm a little uneasy
Its only because I'm unsure how it happens next

I spend all my time
Preaching to devils
Who would never understand
A couldn't care in the first place
Ego is not a part of my ploy
Unless of course
Trying to show someone a light
Is egotistical
But
Really
Sadly
Painful as it seems
Disdainful as the schemes
Forgotten as the dreams
That once held this heart afloat
No
No one
No one really cares

And then

Why should I?

Only in the places where there is shine with no sun
I feel thunder with no rain
Half-afraid to come back again
And still returning every night

I see in the valley the curious cause
Its only water
And always water
Some middling stream as loved as any ocean
When I love the sea
I love the power of the waves
And the feeling of a grain of sand
On an endless beach
Holy poeseidon
I can never know you
You of the gods
Still I know you very well protect a faithful sailor

I travel on alone
Travail against the rage
Speaking more truth
Seen with more hate
Until I'm drowning in the waters which grant me life

Even in the shadow of the moon I feel a light
I feel alright
Maybe if I wait tomorrow comes
But there are horizons
And there is an island
Tonight
I build a bridge

I cannot sing without your name
I cannot
I cannot dream of my becoming
only become the love I'm wanting

Tonight
I search for light

I open windows
And close the door
I send my eyes up
Fold my hands
And
       And
               And
It only goes to show
I miss the feeling you haven't given me
When I wanted to be
When I wasn't
And
I could never be happy
Unless I'm not perfect

We've only had our eyes be closed
For so long
We forgot the way it looks to feel
Protesting in the streets
Mourning the death of the innocence
And going numb

I cannot dream right now
When I see the image as a vision
Displayed for my eyes
And the world to see
I shed all my tears in your direction

Family
Friends
Children
Goals
Aspirations

I feel the same pain you do

Black man

I feel the same fear you do