This Darkness thinks it's light
Believes it needs to spread
As some benevolent force
Some way to guide mankind
Darkness so convinced
It's a disciple of love
So selfish with its wants
And its desires

This Darkness thinks it's light
Believes that it is right
And kills love
In the name of hope
Darkness so convinced
That saying it is love
Makes it be love
When it never was

And now the lady with the heart
And with the eyes
Sees only darkness falling
And pools of blood

She
Speaks to us no more
She's lost without a light

Blooms symmetrical
Petals from a rose
I held you in my hands too tight
You only felt my blood
Spindly spiral thorns
It was your skin
I held so close to my chest
And my heart

I bleed
I see rivers raging
As a river flows from me
And even my hands can't staunch the pain

Now
What was the past?
Only a beauty besieged by time
Unspeakable crime
Now
What will I be now?
I only have my feet
I only have the next step I will take

In a world full of pavement

The flower doesn't grow from concrete
Still at the stoplights in the street
I read your name
And love you still
The flower doesn't grow from concrete
But all these sidewalks
I see your face
And love you still
The flower doesn't grow
From concrete
These parking lots
Where I got lost

Never to feel your spiny thorns again
Never to really feel
Never to bleed
Never to love

I used to bleed
And it made me happy

I saw the sun rise on a hillside
Morning and infinity collide
And the colors are more glorious than words can express
I saw the sun rise
As I fell
I saw the sun paint the scattered noon
Bringing the world the heat of the day
Giving our blood reason and our heartbeats meaning
I witnessed the noon
Falling down
I saw the sun set in ****** hues
A life and a forever
Where the only dreams we had are living
I couldn't sleep
On the ground

I saw the moon rise
And I heard it speak to me
Nothing much
Only your name
Everything

I love the stars in the night
Do you know how much I love you?

I saw the moon in the night
Nearly new but growing full
A voice I can't describe from a face I can't explain
To make each moment
More beautiful

I miss the way the sun would rise and spell your truth
As I held my hand to my face and felt your touch
When the clouds showed your face
And the wind spoke your voice
When you were with me
I miss looking into the distance and hoping for skin
As I opened my eyes and learned your name
When the day was never ending
And the noon knew your heart
When you were with me
I miss the somber tones and the songs you've shown
As each note became a meaning
When you knew how to sing
And you sang beautifully
When you were with me
I miss

I like to write a love poem
I like the sun to rise
But the stark and dark and naked truth
In a world full of hate
The sun only sets

Ego and pride
Derision of some higher form
A lovers quarrel in a lighting storm
And war becomes the norm
I've bit my tongue

I've bit my tongue so hard
Bitten for so long
I bit my tongue clean off
From my mouth the blood will spill

you don't know me
Don't follow me now as I'm headed to war
It's a dumbed-down world
Full of immature adults
Who feel hate
In place
Of admiration

Low
Lower
Lowest
Common denominator
I'm speaking to you

My aim is to restore art
To written word
Its time you knew my name

I don't need friends
Jeoulosy invites envy
And weight can be so much to bare
Without carrying you on my coat tails

Bombs for the bombastic
I'm dropping all I can
Because my hands
Don't want to hold on

The only peaceful end to war
Is when everyone is dead
And I'm still standing

I have been censored
Censured
Left to let this rotten fruit destroy the garden
afraid to speak my truth for some delicate sensibilities

Bullets without guns
I've loaded up on ammo
And taken names
Wars will rage with or without me

But how does the war end?

The only peaceful end to war
Is when nations are destroyed
And I'm still standing

The river is polluted
The skies are grey in falling night
The stars are hidden from our sight
Constellations convoluted

Bilge water and bile
Corrupted hearts so vile
Defile of a sacred form
This is not divine
Only desecration

The river is polluted
The seeds we plant do not survive
And even life is doomed to die
The trees are all uprooted

          We want the leaves
          We want the flowers
          We want the scent of the forest

The river is polluted
Our dismay is all man-made
Unwholesome branch that holds no shade
Our hope for shelter all eluted

Brackish is the water
Swim if you care to drown
We take giant gulps
Deluded with hope
And still we die of thirst

According to the gospel
As the lord and savior traversed the holy land
Preaching the word and showing the light
Speaking with god and devil alike
Speaking love to mankind
It is said
He would find the sick
The suffering of infirmity
He would lay his hands to their skin
And heal them
He would heal them
According to the gospel

My days are long
And I have bruises that don't show on my flesh
Impracticalities that should cause mental maladies
That would help me find the self destruction I fear
And that I fear awaits me
I'm tired when I wake up
And dead through the day
But I feel alive
Every time I put my words to the page
I feel a sage
Whose wisdom is generational
I feel hope

I may be sick
Maybe
I may be a lost and tortured soul unfit to exist
In this existence
Maybe
I may feel pain
I may
And the only disease I know is the brutality of life
Maybe

Poetry heals me
It is the hands in the desert
On the ***** in the cave
It is the words as rain to feed the seed
It is the sprout of a flower
And the bloom
It is my reason
And my religion

It is my gospel

And when the angels sing
If no one else can hear but I can
I'll know of peace
In a world of disarray

Do you ask yourself sometimes?
What it is and what will be?
Who we are
Trains may arrive in stations
The hands on the clock
Our fingers
But our hands have never been pure
Who we are

How it feels
To feel
How it feels to feel just the way you do

Don't you want love and silver and gold?
What is truth and how we seek
Who we are
Clocks always strike the minute
But our hands toil with the devils work
Our faces never stay the same
Marching forward
Who we are

And how it feels
To feel
For you
Time doesn't give a reason

I understand her beautifully
And I understand her tragedy
In a world that can't be saved
I'm saving her
As she's saving me,

And even her silence
Speaks everything
And even my silence
Says more

I'm afraid
That I don't need her skin
That I may breathe without her breath
I'm afraid
I don't need her love
When she's all I ever need

She understands me cosmically
She reads all of my stars
In a world that's only death
We live together
Or not,

And even her silence
Screams at me
And my silence
Is a pleading voice

The ghost that I'll become
Is covered in scars
Skin is skin and without skin
The ghost that I'll become
Is covered in scars
From the times before
I can't forgive myself
I don't expect you'll forgive me
As my bones and hands
Break in this world
And every scar
Is a mark upon my soul
I don't have to live forever
To never forget
I'm dying now
And bringing it with me

I've forgotten how she feels under my hands
The way glorious music came forth as my fingers touched her neck
I held her in my lap and every note was right
She spoke to me so beautifully

The shape of her body
The way my voice danced around her
A song I had to sing
And I was happy

I haven't felt her in forever
But I still listen
Maybe such dulcet notes alive
Still strive to grace my life

Maybe life is not a game
But I play
And I'll play

I've forget the way frets make me lose all worry
I can hold her in such a way that makes a meaningful chord
Finding balance in her scales
And knowing harmony

The shape of her body
The sound of love and loss
A song I have to sing
And I'll know peace

Maybe life is just music
But I play
And I'll play

You engraved
Only something ordinary
On my skin
My bare feet
I see a symbol in the rocks
I walk on

Every pain
Every step that makes me bleed
Written in chalk
I chalk it up to talc

Your a stain
A mar upon my living skin
My great scar
You a fire
From volcanoes long ago
My lava

Every fire
My lover burns deep into me
Written in ash
Becomes forever

As the flame and as the smoke
As the air

And as the earth

The world is losing gravity
How long can I hold onto the surface?
This turgid turf
These blades of grass
My feet don't know the ground
Without blood

All we ever wanted was to float away
Idyllic in expression and hopeful
As a prisoner

The light that I see can only be the remains
Of dead and dying stars
Figmants of imagination
Relics from the ancients
And our modern prophets seeking profit

The world is losing gravity
I am losing air

All we ever wanted was to float away
And end up in the sun

I would drown in the water
I would bleed in the slaughter
Take away all that ever matters
I can burn in the fire
Watch the stars that expire

Still I

I would blow in the wind
I would know of the end
And give away all that ever mattered
I can relish the hurt
My bones in the dirt

Still

I'll be a man
Not alive
No hands
No eyes
I would see though the miles
I would reach through the darkness
To find the only thing that matters

Still
Its

I'll know your face

My dreams
Are in your head
The way it feels to know you felt me
The way it feels

My hope
Is in your life
The way it feels under your breath
The way it feels

I cant live
Until your hands are finding me
I can't be
Until you find a way

My love
Lives in your blood
The way it feels to be inside you
The way it feels

My heart
Is in your hands
The way it feels to take a beating
The way it feels

I can't live
Until your fingers touching me
I can't live
Until you find a way

Your head
Its all I ever want
Your beauty all for me

Unsteady at the brink of history
Unfeeling hands
Conflicted thoughts
The brother of my brother
My brother
Hates me

This is not my city
This is not my neighbor
This is a stranger
Heart full of anger

Wavering close to the ledge
Eyes can only see so much
We can see the end
Only so many steps
Can we take
Without looking

There is no holy war
Yet wars are raging
In the name of god
Seeking blood

Falling bombs
And silence
Explosions in the street
And silence
Bullets
Death
The religion of peace
And silence

Its a battle lost
In silence


"Guide me now
I'll be not afraid of darkness
There is no God but he
The God of love"

To make this beautiful music
I had to develop callouses
So that you could feel what I feel
As I feel less and less
Doesn't mars shine red in the night?
I'm the night
Pluto becomes a broken heart
And from your abandonment an empty sunrise
To make this music
I had to love you
Forever
All the while knowing
You're love was just a short time
To sing this beautiful song
I had to strain my voice
So that you could hear all of me
As a melody
Stretched thin amongst the scales
As my soul pains to bring expression
And my throat grows  raw

Still maybe and all I ever hope for
This creation
This child of mine
Is something you hold close
To your breast
And even in your darkness
You see a light
Even in the silence
You sing along

Flowers and skin
There is something somehow
Some way to save me
Its always been
I would cover my ears with both hands
And look to the stars
I know they speak to me
I scream to break my silence

I would love to fall
Past the floorboards
The memories
Past the slaughter
Past the pain
I would fall to love

Guide is all I ask
Guide my faith

Lips and eyes
Words and sight
An empty street full of signs
Giving me direction
Come to life
Be my blood
I could be hopeless
And still hope for you

I'll know my faith's a life away

She wore red
Because of me she wore red
A thousand or more
Countless stories
Because of me

She wore red
Hands in the night that paint dread
A thousand lost words
Fingers can't count
Because of me

She wore red
And in my own minds eye I can see
A thousand false truths
Pure dying light
Because of me

She wore red

How should I fight
To the bitter end?

I know how to destroy everything
Including myself
                                           But

Its not what I want
To be the fire to burn up the earth
To be the water to dampen the fire
To be the air

I only want to love you

How should I love
To the ruthless end?

A stone pillar in the desert
A statue where only the crow can sit

It only means
It only seems
My only means
Are to an end

Break

The end
         The break
The end
        When we
                    Are all
                               Broken

And I can't count how many times I've been broken
                           Not on my hands
                         I do not have hands
Because......

If I had hands


They would be holding you now

Break


Break the sky
Break the land
Break the skin
With brutal blades
                       That I cannot hold

I have no hands
That are not broken

Snipers on the tower of Babel
Aiming at the dawn
I'm afraid
We don't speak the same language
Anymore

Lyrically biblical
Pathetically prophetic
Hymns, and psalms, and
Parables
Plots, and graves, and
Funerals

He cries on the top of the minaret
We all start to pray
I'm afraid
There's no god left to hear us
Anymore

How many places have I slept before?
With you
Without you
Within you
Forever
The music has always been magic
Much more
Maybe we find a meaning
Sleep well my dreams from the day
I couldn't find
I can't define
Some other part
Some other design

It cuts me like knives

Please smile while I bleed

So turn out the lights
Let the rain fall
As I close my eyes
And go numb

When the blood turns to pain
When the words disappear
When the day can't be long
And the night must be dark

When the moon turns to wane
And the world turns its back
When the stars start to die
And the stairs lead to hell

When the root turns to stone
When the bone turns to dust
When the fire that burns
Leaves everything ash

When the sky turns to grey
When the shine turns to rain
When the sun turns to darkness
And all life is death

When the root turns to stone
When the root turns to stone

I will still be alive
With love in my heart for you

It was my hands that made me walk down to the corner store where I bought two forties, a pack of smokes, and a candy bar because I had the change

It was the night when I could see mars shining redder than any stars reminding me of war and why I drink but never taste

It was my heart that made me never want to love again

Some things are made to be broken
Some things are broken beyond repair

God
I dont know you
You've always been a stranger to me
A no one
If anyone asked
I would say
You were no one
Still

How I need you now
I need you more than ever
I need you now
I need you

God
Please I ask
Keep me from the end I see
Grant me peace
I don't really know
If you are real
But youre all
I need

On a mountain
We can feel the clouds
Or we can fall

In the ocean
We can swim in waves
Or we can drown

With the fire
We can warm our bones
Or we can burn

In the sky

You love every beautiful part of me
But there is also

God being dead
And a ninety-nine cent hamburger
We only want our wisdom in chicken
Nuggets of truth
What we value is on a menu
We never stop
We drive thru
The burger king
The dairy queen
The price we pay
God being dead
From a heart attack
Caused by high cholesterol

Since....I was the wind
              You could never hold me
               I could be felt
                          For a little while
How.....I became fire
               You were feeling warmth
                A broiling inferno
                           Leaving only ash
Now....I am water
             You were trying swim
              Dying to drown
                            A flood of loss
Soon...I'll be earth
              Sand and stone of fate
               The earth we live on
                             As our tomb

If I ever dance
It will be alone
I'll have a shadow I see a face in
And a ghost that I become
It will never rain
And the eyes will always be blue

The clouds are weapons of war
Casting calloused fingers onto the skin of my feet
I cannot walk
I'll run away
Hiding behind the corners as the clowns decry my name
I won't know how to feel
I don't know what to say
The only thing I ever wanted
Are the things you wanted yesterday

Continually blessed is her name
Creation, bright lights, and planted seeds
Illumination
Her fingers are some kind of sun

The Redeemer slays
Pray for those to be saved
No man shall be redeemed
In fevers heated dream

Forever burning in a heart
Fire, tindle, ash and cinder
Luminaries
Her sleep never leads me to dream

The redeemer slays
Away and any way my blood
Its a name because of her
Because of her it falls

When all my words become the rain to fall into your life
I will be happy
Only hands and feet to hold and walk this sunny day
Happy as can be
But somewhere the moon is always rising
And darkness is always falling
My words are useless stars in the night
Hidden by clouds
I've never seen a rainbow in the dark
I've never lived in your city
When all my hopes become the strength that we were searching for
I will be happy
Only dreams and waking up to someplace I belong
Happy as can be
Happy
As can be

I want the stars to shine
Over your fragile skin
So many morters and pestils
So many wrecking *****
We can destroy the buildings we live in
And keep on living

I want the moon to beam
Into your delicate mouth
So much concrete and asphalt
So many jackhammers
We can build a parking lot
And keep on moving

A want the the night to seem endless
As deep as you are
We can shine a light
We can carry it so far
Our hands aren't time

They are infinity

Forever is only as long
As I love you
Because I will die
But my love won't

Vapid viper
Reckless rattler
Killer copperback
I see the fangs
The cottonmouth
The lashing out
My skin
The poison coursing directly for my heart
Killing me slow
Killing me complete
The world we know
Is full of snakes
Snakes and me
My blood
I find you
Your hands
These toxins
My skin
And you with anti-venom
I see your hands
As this poison saturates
And hope you could be the one to save me

I shine a sun in your direction
I give my all that you would give me something
I hope for you when I'm hopeless
I watch you walk away.....
I die as your foot hits the ground
I die still loving you

Its nice to say
To write and be read
To speak and be heard
Its nice-so nice
The clouds are nice
Shapeless changing shades of wispy warping away
And you can see in them
A face
An animal
Something that can't be held
So many clouds
To cover out the sun
The sun is dying
Spending all internal energy
To shine any sort of light into your life
Its nice-that no one notices
Because lightbulbs have a switch
And the sun is going to set
Many times
And it takes me with it
Its nice-so nice
That while the sun dies to bring you light
You'd rather stare into the clouds

I can touch you now
The streets are places I walk in
Sometimes full of life
I can hear you now
The music is always playing
Sometimes beautiful
I can see you now
The mornings a painted landscape
Sometimes colorful
I can love you now
The heart is a vessel that carries me
Sometimes where you are

But for how long?
How long is now?
Is right now
All we have?
If right now it is ending
How long can I stay strong?

I can feel you know
That your skin becomes hateful daggers
Sometimes
Painful

The love I have is tainted
By the poison of the end
And my knowledge
That nothing lasts
Forever

How long do we have?
How long do I have?

I have loved you longer than time
Walked with you before I had legs
And told you many times
Without the mouth to speak
Or the air to breathe
I have loved you longer than space
Collected your dust before the stars
And felt you many times
Without the hands to hold
Or the fingers to touch

I loved you in the ocean
And swam between your knees
I loved you in the sky
In your kiss of gentle breeze
You knew my face
Before your eyes could see
You felt me
Before skin

I have loved you before mountains
And before rivers carved the rock
I loved your canyons
Your precipices
Your crevices
When there was no earth and no sun

I have loved you
Before I knew what love was

There's a star I know
You'll never see
A blue star I carry with me
Heavy for my hands to hold
Too heavy to drop
I want to cut the clouds of wings
And this permitted archery
Fermenting summer augury
Late september thoughts
Flying through confetti skies
The wings are made of knives
Ripping and shredding at horizons
Until the mosaic has lost all meaning
There's a star I know
And a purple night
Becoming empty without it

Stepping out behind the dying in the day
I saw my own hands breaking just trying to hold on
And grew tired of the smiles full of serrated blades
I've tasted blood
I've killed before in a manic rage
My waterfall
The calamity

I can't
It can't
Be this way
I can't wield the knife
I can't carry it with me wherever I go
It can't be all I know
It can't

Falling back into horizons as the sun
I saw myself in a new light and the hope I dream
I've learned what the moon means when she speaks to me
I've tasted truth
Honey as the flavor on my tongue
Saccharine
And happiness

I can
It can
Be this way

I had to die awhile
Sometimes
I had to let you go and hold you
I had to find and guide you
I've fought so many wars
I'll fight so many more
It was only salt and falling bombs
Spilling over the earth
The ground
The soil
My shield
My sword
I had to claim this shadow
As my own

I want to be clean
Ten thousand men in your hair
I want my skin
I want the lights to shine
But I know this way of the boar
Ten thousand years in your shadow
I won't walk alone in these forests
Without the beast that follows me
Territories and pine needles
To stab my breaking heart
Your hollow-cheeked love
My creature fear

A sound is ringing in my ears
I love the idea of night
But the moon is nearly full where you are
And the apartment is all but empty
Not a rock of Gibraltar
Not a stone's throw away
Not now
Now
My blood is composed of music
I love the idea of light
But the stars don't want to shine where you are
And my left shoe knows of holy souls
Not forty years in the desert
Not sacred pilgrimage
Not now
Now
Abraham
Take instead the ram
Sacrifice unto his name

The disappearing nature of things
A man with hammers in hands
And pain in his heart
Breaking apart walls and sidewalks
Everything
He falls in love with
Do we wonder which way the wind blows?
Well
I only wanted to say I love you
But I can't be happy
Not until your broken
Broken like me

I have to go to sleep
Hoping I will not wake up
Because you gave all your love
To another
As I become a ghost
I watch your skin grow cold
Because you lost all your hope
For tomorrow

While I lost all my hope
For today

I have to go to sleep
And somber in my dreams
Before my life will slip away
The last thing I will think
Is how
I love you

You were my world
Still are
I cannot be myself right now
I cannot love you like I should
You were me heart
Unbeat
But all the blood is me
And your names the drops I bleed
You were my hope
And I cannot forget
The way it made me feel
To hold hope close to my heart
You were my love
My words
My dream
My
Everything

Walking is going to be quite difficult now
Without the hope that I can take another step

My hands create the stars in the night
Building brilliance from the dust in the sky
It's only light
It's only seen if you care to look

My hands caress the skin of your thigh
My fingers know your name as my dreams of your eyes
It's only love
It can only be felt if you let me touch

My hands are waging war with the forces of sin
And every particle and every place we begin
It's only hope
It can only be whatever you want

My hands are giving feeling in the chest of a soul
This planting seeds that only grow and unfold
It's only me
It's only your heart and the way that it beats

Don't the storms rage for awhile
Before falling back into the sky?
The terror and hope of living
The way we force a meaning

Doesn't my heart still beat
In a cavity disguised by skin?
The fear of what is love
And how we feel it

I would say
I will remember you
But I can't......
To remember is to try and hold on,
To forget

I cannot forget

Don't the clouds still speak your name
When I look to the sky for peace?
And all the blues reach deeper hues
And color means more to me

Doesn't my mind still form images
That paper can't contain?
No stenciling hand of man
Can shape such beauty

I would say I will remember you
But I cannot forget
I will always love you......
I showed my scars
And you showed your heart

It was the only truth I've ever known