The taste is bitter the luck grows thinner, and doubt fills every pore.
Am I to bold to fear the adventures you seek
Outside of gas and heat.

Be wise be free be wild be Natalie.
I know dear friend, I'll see you again.

Revised...

:) you sneaky little *****.

Step one: get very drunk
Repeat step one as needed

Cry for them
Cry for yourself
Cry because you are alone

Now try to move on
Commit to it
Don’t think about them
For three days you didn’t
And then something reminds you of them
Repeat step one

Tell yourself you were never in love
Tell yourself you will never fall in love again
Agonize over everything you think you did wrong
Blame yourself

Get mad
Blame them
Blame god

Repeat step one with friends
Repeat step one alone

It has been a month and they haven’t crossed your mind
And then you run into them
And you’re fine
And you are free

Now fall in love with somebody else and do it all over again

I'm hidden in the lies
Cascading the mountains of truth
You so blindly try to climb
You can't seem to comprehend
I'm the master of death
The father of the gods
You ritualistically worship
I'm the truth in the lies
I'm the lies in the truth
I'm everything but what are you
A flea biting a dog
A dog in the sewers
A rotting corpse sailing on the sands of time
Lies hold my truth my existence
My way to say
I'm just a nothing

A guilty pleasure of carnal exuberance
Congenital aspirations met with no defiance
I've found luxury in finding what was sought
A frivolous triumph taken with moderate pace
Though, A willful pursuance it was not
Merely a loafing fate met face to face
stares from the immoralists fronting smiles
lust takes form in the death of self denial

From the heated chase of senseless sin
Or, a marriage founded on a whim or gin
We are the hypocrisies of unconditional romances
The mindless breed of Objective contradictions
Aloof in the thought of all our un-taken chances
Content with the notion that it's willful conviction
Moving our limbs onto each other with passion-
In a not so convincing mechanical fashion

The pang of departure becomes idle and true
As the woman's desire decides on life anew
Free'd of commitment and it's anchoring pull
To set loose the labours of a dwindling kiss
Where compassion lay ready and yearns to be full
cleansed of the sound from the victims cold hiss
Echoing through the basin of his darkened prison
The hatred and spite of the fallen has risen

To find meaning in sorrow and his empty feeling
Distraught in the rhetoric she left for his healing
Mocking the hollow cadaver left scarred and alone
He watches the darkness slip into a vivid irony
How could the heartless turn the living to stone?
Or the simplest of notes fade into a weary eulogy?
This must be some kind of cruel joke on repeat
But, How can we laugh at the likeness of love and deceit?

you have big dreams
i'm just living
compared to you
i'm insignificant
what good can i bring the world
except a smile
and a poem
but what good is that at the end of the day
what lives can my words save?
i can't help
but feel helpless
where do i have to go in life
i just feel lost
need a compass
maybe you can give me a map
or a gps
where do i go from here
the Cheshire cat would say it doesn't matter
as long as i get somewhere
i would beg to differ
give me a tour guide
to take me through my life
because i'm feeling lost
and it's making me cross
but we're all mad here
and maybe madness is driving this fear
i don't want to get stuck
so wish me luck
when you leave me for your big dreams
i'll be bursting at the seams
or maybe that's just how it seems
why does art feel like it's so unimportant
it's all i can do, i'll draw you a portrait
i guess you could say that it helps life's endeavor
but there are people in my position who can do it much better
so i sit here
sorry for myself
my  BIG dreams are for my book
to be on a shelf
the book i haven't finished
because it's all that i have
and i feel my dreams diminished
i don't know who i am.