I recounted my day to you
and made sure to use a good word.
some savory spice over the dull topic at hand
about my professor's swollen lymph gland.

It was jubilant or maybe it was juggernaut
thrown into the hallways of dialogue
like some high school freshman
dawning a new outfit on her first day of school
intending to make a good first impression.

"you talk too poetic"
were the only words you had
and I recalculated all the ones I owned
the ones that came so naturally
those who have made me who I am
handcrafting me as much as I them
they who've persuaded
they who've debated
they who've won arguments
they who've lost arguments
they who were chained back
too shy to escape into the cold of a lovers criticism

and so when the branches fell that day
so perfectly onto the ground
mimicking the sound of a fallen soldier
I held back my metaphors and juggernaut of words
my ink stayed where I thought it belonged for a second
and that poem was lost.

you owe me a poem.

in that second i gave you something
a part of me
like a poet scribbling words
a musician strumming a chord
a piece of my disorganized puzzle
spewed out in a midnight conversation

                                     those things that make a part of you
     bit by bit
small and insignificant
without the aid of time
to stack them into
importance

every thoughtful comment
a piece of truth
that rarely sees the light of day

its a very instantaneous exchange
it meant something
not alot
but it was a shrivel of life one's not used to giving
to just anyone

hope you felt it as much as i did
when you placed it up for bid

november you did me well
new love
or whatever people like to call it
new lust
spain or bust
i said
                                                                                                             i like to think that it wasn't just a fling
maybe it meant something
but just for that moment
i felt special
necessary for an existence
air to your lungs
tattoes on a ****
dog hair on a rug
but as your eyes glaze away
i know the end is near
i give you all i have
expecting the worst

another one lost
another one found

you're just a product of your environment
a feeble boy unsure of the publics reaction
provoking a girl to write a **** poem

it's the intuitive embrace
leaving no trace for the mind
to confirm its approval

its the embrace that happens to you
on a blinding tuesday when
questions don't abound

you do what feels natural
open arms and wide eyed
heart hanging off your sleeve

blood oozing through your veins
wounds open like a possibility
this embrace has kissability

this embrace can fix it all
you say

these words were only meant for today
they wont see the light of tomorrow
because they were meant only for your ears
right now
right here
directing itself to investigate the inner workings of your mind
yearning to mold your thoughts
attempting to flip on a switch
giving you that "aha" moment
that moment which really matters
where time stands still
and selective memory is on your side
recalling later that singular moment
that particular word or statement
which one was it?
i know you remember
the one that lit up your eyes, perked your ears and straightened your head

he told me i was living in fear
and i thought i wasnt supposed to be here
a sign hangs above his living room couch
"the police ruin everything"
i want to disagree but i control my thoughts
i build a wall between them and my mouth
the same one he built
and her and them and we and us
i can tell by the furrowed brows and tell tall signs
by the words that come out only when we drink our nightly wine
i climb on top of him
in his room of american flags, broken records and leopard ware
faux patriotism and hipster runoff mixed with nonchalant dishevel
i kiss his sweaty neck  
my mind is always down south
even now
where my toes peep out of my socks
curious of the present moment and the theme of tomorrows thoughts