when I hear the rain coming down it makes me sad and blue

looking outside my window at this November night
waiting for these eggs to hatch
inside my maternal prison...
is no secret why I'm here...

because I went to greet the spider in the web

to read her a very special bedtime story....

now she sleeps underneath the stone....

My dear friend

I know how you feel

Life has so many twists and turns leading you
In the wrong direction

but you have to keep strong don't give in to your demons they will **** you

I'm so broke


All the cuts and bruises on my arm could tell a story
But that is the path I have chosen to walk


Sitting here in this dark room waiting for the end

It is so complex I know
But I cannot fall



but I must live another sunrise for you my dear beloved friend


but some days it is hard to breathe

like a dying man who's so far away
trying to fight for every last breath


those days are the worst

some nights I find myself talking to The Man in the mirror

clearly it looks like he's falling apart

I tried to help him pick up the pieces he keeps pushing me away

now I don't speak to him no more


that's another friend I have lost

who do I talk to now....

now I fine my self outside this November night to Greek the Man in the Moon

he is silent just like usual

looking down at me with disgust

but I cannot judge you because you are alone just like I am

I would like to wish you a good night my dear old friend....

please make sure it's true and you say you love somebody

because it is a sin to tell a lie


I love you yes I do...

I would like to give you something  money cannot buy
is not my soul...

I gave that up long ago a chance for happiness or chance ReNew Life
a foolish idea
but I walked down this path before
am I sell back here again....







without twisting turns leading you into a dead end to your own demise



but I'm done looking at the past
I want to see the future

for me and you my dear beloved...

I would like to give you my heart

I know it's worthless....

only thing I can offer you is my love

it kills me to see you in this place
only thing I can do is stand here all alone without you by my side
my dear Jessley...

if you break my heart I will die...

my dear Isabella pro

my life my heart and my soul
like a  dying black alley cat
and the alley light  darkness and this work was city I call home

to me life is not worth living  

without you by my side

like a lonely Cub without his mother

to mean you are not just a memory
you are something more

you are my light
at the end of the tunnel of sadness
you save me from myself
I would like to thank you

I will give up anything

to hold you again
and here you giggle
rest in peace dear
Isabella rose

100 * 2

I find myself crying again in an empty room


Trying to pick up the pieces why they have left me again

And this darkness

Only thing I ever wanted is to be loved

I never lied

I always speak the truth if someone I love

But at the end love is not enough
And this time and this place

people would look you straight in the eye and stab you in the back

But you need to stay strong
This is not the end

A opening a beginning

For something new


For me and you

These are not just words

Words mean nothing

Actions will tell it all

What you will do for that person you love

Will you lay your life down for that person you love

That will tell it all and good time


I have walked down this empty broken road hundreds of times

Twists and turns will lead you nowhere

Just move on with your life and keep your head up  

Your prince charming will come in good time  

My dear friend

I find myself on this empty roof looking down at my own reflection like a portal leading to another world of existence.....

like two worlds a combined into one...

a twisted part of reality and the peaceful part of life and death....


a world without sin without struggle fighting to survive....

this place is slowly rotting into pieces waiting for the next fool to pick up the pieces...

even if you can find all the pieces what can you build
nothing
you will just give in to your greed

we all do....

this a comedy this government ....

it's going to trap their self in their own baretraps slowly waiting to bleed out unless we stand together as one as a family
maybe we can survive
shrimp and numbers can build Nations .. .

if you feel what I feel if you see what I see hear what I hear please stand with me maybe we might have hope  
or maybe I'm just mad