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 Feb 2014 Toni Seychelle
kenye
I am
everything
that is
and isn't
nailed down

connected

I hit
the ground
running on
survival
instinct

With
ultra
violent
grace
burning
about
me

I
barrel
down
boundaries

face
to
face
with
the enemy
of me

now

Do I
fight
Or
flight
Or
freeze?
 Feb 2014 Toni Seychelle
kenye
I am
everything
that is
and isn't
nailed down

connected

I hit
the ground
running on
survival
instinct

With
ultra
violent
grace
burning
about
me

I
barrel
down
boundaries

face
to
face
with
the enemy
of me

now

Do I
fight
Or
flight
Or
freeze?
I've messaged along a pure white dove,
Once it reaches you it'll shower you with love,
Under it's wings feel the winds embrace
With gusts of love that tickle your face -
Spewing hearts of gold blinding with light,
Brushing rays of beauty infiltrating your sight.
In a peculiar, far off, world, time and place,
The trivial past would be irrelevant, chased away then erased.
Contrary to the reality of distorted lies in front of my face,
These eyes cannot mask fraudulence or disgrace.
Chasing them down with a trace of a defaced case of toxic waste,
I pace as my thoughts race of the time that’s left until I dissipate.
Looking into the murky vase with dying flowers desperate to be replaced,
Misplaced to the one who’d obliterate the beauty I once embraced.

Within my sorrow I woke, shattered love replaced with a heart no longer broke.
Soaked with what I could never cope, I felt passion and choked on my once false hope.
This vision evoked a note; a call of duty for you, my eternity to devote.
Instinctively I knew, the words stuck in my throat, but blindly every incline eventually has a *****.
Surrounded by mirrors shielded with smoke,
As we stared we shared yet nothing we spoke.
Your presence was felt but disguised with a cloak,
Confined in your skin, comfortably lost afloat, for your soul I searched to perpetually stroke.

With blurred vision I envisioned, stood silent, anxious of your condition,
Division of indecision was nothing less than your frightened inquisition.
A hallucination on a mission of who was out to hurt you with consistence,
I understood as you tried to piece together the suspicion of our composition.
Guarded and in position to react upon intuition then the smoke disappeared and you saw our reflection.
No longer was my presence an imposition now in recognition you accepted the ignition of a united evolution.
Successful revision disposed internal superstition,
Our collision created a premonition for our future decisions of precision.

The past’s paths we chose were restricted to our addiction and careless indifference,
The assistance of negative influence stripped us of our innocence.
Blood shot eyes, negligence of appearance, abstracted resistance only creating distance.
Ambiguous and inexperienced, taking shots and hits in an instance,
Distorted images, lacking clarity, the abuse of substance left an absence of existence.
Building tolerance whilst sabotaging resilience, guilty and unable to admit repentance,
Without a witness, secret and safe, no justice to serve and no one to listen.
A mission incomplete and persistent,
We continue to envelope in our disappearance.

In the seam of my sickness I submerge within these contaminated nerves,
Fearing the silence with thirst not to be disturbed,
But absurdly I yearned your unhealthy and perplexed words to be heard,
My tender nature reserved an exclusive place to keep you conserved,
Unstable but concerned I’d preserve you like an herb,
I slurred for forgiveness but observed perhaps this was my turn,
But with your freedom you turned away and flew away like a bird.
Now relentless and pure I burn the surface of my figure, no intent to return.

Yet once we were young, wild and free,
Conducting our train with no fear of where we’d soon be,
The sweet breeze guaranteed the destination with ease,
Imagination without knowledge, amid glee and degree,  
We’d dive and rise above the salty sea,
Later meet beneath that tree with belief the starry sky we’d seize,
Through the debris you still held in your hand the key,
And we’d conquer our dreams, what we sought and believed.

But as I’ve grown within my questioning dome,
My home of stones has nothing to be shown,
Prone to disown my weakened skin and bones,
Candidly I pacify the clone I’ve never known.
In hopes to be flown far ahead of this zone,
I’d hover above in a whispering tone, draining my disease as it’s blown.
My soul will glisten and roam, looking down at my new golden throne,
As I’ve postponed to recognize the beauty of the Earth & my own – No longer shall I be alone.
It’s fact, fiction, and lies, as the devil continues to pry
On my soul and my flesh, punching holes like paper on a teacher’s desk,
Slouched over I’m a mess, a mess as a drunken sketch
This feeling I’ll match it - with a match lighting this torn cigarette.
I feel evil caress the stress imploding my chest
With no one to impress I rip apart my dress
Naked I confess, take a breath and cover my mouth with mesh…

Yes, mesh, I guess I’m scared to be deprived completely of air,
A bit here and there, taking it as I declare
I’m comfortably bare beside my ***** ******* chair
Prepared to spare my body physically impaired
I glare with despair; Life is not fair
I’m too late to repair, how dare someone not care…

Not care, to act blind and deaf to me cry like a dying swine
Denied. That’s fine. The destruction returns with black clouds in the sky.  
Empty time combined with the drought of your hasty good bye,
My pounding, bound mind can’t find words to describe.
With tear-filled eyes I lie and line my body with it’s design,
Blissful hate, You can define me as a Divine Crime.

This divine crime procrastinated, not yet committed,
Still addicted to the sadistic ways of the wicked.
Twisted liquid drowned the fear unconstricted,
Thriving off the blade penetrating my skin’s system.
Transmitted blood puddling just as I’d written,
Delivering my limit as predicted, I just couldn’t have committed!

Not so much committing to him but more my life,
Uncertainties of my nature were as cold as ice.
Precisely entice yet deceive I’d slice and not think twice,
My heart is charcoal, as small as a grain of rice.
Love is dry and old, cannot be marked with a price,
So listen to my advice - I’m a toxic prosthetic device to ruin your life.

The Devil Inside.
**A Divine Crime.
 Feb 2014 Toni Seychelle
Traveler
I was once one of you
No longer do I laugh
Life's no longer funny
When the train jumps off the track

With eyes that no longer shine
And hearts that no longer break
These wheels keep on spinning
On this trip through outer space...
Traveler Tim
Re 01-17
 Feb 2014 Toni Seychelle
Vagabond
Am I read so easily?

Do I display my emotions
so clearly?
My soul, do I bear
so blatantly?

Can I hide nothing?
   I am transparent.
            I am no liar.
                        In fact, I'm terrible.

My truth, too honest                    
my appeasement, obvious
       my distaste, too obvious
           my pains, apparent
                      my joy, over-joyous

I am predictable
in my crooked hypocrisy.
I am unconvincing
despite my conviction.
I am a lack of words
in a serious discourse.

All along
and
I didn't know it.

love me          hate me
kiss me          **** me
I would.
~A.S.K.
I love my early morning hikes
in the Georgian-woods,
where alone
I glide along,
my feet carrying me
through the zephyr-mists,
upward on the granite stairway
into the disappearing stars
& onto the bald-summit.

Happily,
I stand exposed
on another sacred-peak,
one of God's gifts
for wayward hikers,
smiling.
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