In four days time
I will set my sights
And clear my mind
And do what I need to do

I cannot stay here
I;m suffocating
The waters rising
Now I'm drowning

I think you know what I need
I need to be on my own
Its time for me to go

This is hard for me to do
But deep down I know
The right thing for me to do is go

In a different life
On a different plane
I’ll find the answers
Or maybe even more questions

Don’t mean to hurt you
Gone like water down the drain
Ill take all the blame
I think that I should go


I think you know what I need
I need to be on my own
Its time for me to go

This is hard for me to do
But deep down I know
The right thing for me to do is go

Hold on, you're now going to have to say so long
Go ahead, please just make your way and break free
Don’t make this a problem
This is to save you, this isn't for me
Yes you know, need to keep your soul it isn't something you can sell
My heart will bleed from this overwhelming emotional clog

The heart grows fond, if there is some distance
I can’t comprehend your brash decisions
And you just deny, tell me why

Because a promise is a promise you’ll break
My dearest apologize, the sympathy I fake
I can’t even trust you, I can’t even blink
I think it’s my past that’s really to blame
Yes you know need to keep your soul it isn't something you can sell
My heart will bleed from this overwhelming emotional clog

The heart grows fond, if there is some distance
I can’t comprehend your brash decisions
And you just deny, tell me why tell me why

The heart grows fond, if there is some distance
I can’t comprehend your brash decisions
And you just deny
Stop crying and stand up for yourself
If you keep letting them silence you you’ll never get out
Remove yourself from this self destructive, disgusting rut
No one can do this for there’s no one

One second is there something we missed?
Why must we confess and be told to repent?
Not everything’s black and white or open and shut?
What could be the answer if there is one?

Kneel down and confess
I’m on a trip, in a trance
No one can tell me I can’t

There’s no racing in a day dream
You can go at your own pace there’s no need to run
There’s something bigger out there but we’re not sure what
I will not wait for the end to come

I remember the songs that we sung
About the light of the moon and the heat of the sun
Deep as the ocean and aged as ancient dust
The beat of my heart in sync with the drums

One second is there something we missed?
Why must we confess and be told to repent?
Not everything’s black and white nor open and shut
What could be the answer if there is one?

I can’t remember
The word that you say, was it reminiscent of the gods above?
I won’t depend on or
Defend the belief that everything’s okay

Smirking with open hands
They’re smirking

There’s no racing in a day dream
You can go at your own pace there’s no need to run
There’s something bigger out there but we’re not sure what
I will not wait for the end to come

Forget yourself
Go
Your worry wart's about to erupt
There's a voice from the forest telling you to come
Running from east to west going coast to coast
If you don’t you'll surely go mad

What will you tell your folks?
When you finally leave today
And your life is about to begin
What will you tell your folks?
When you have nothing to say
When you know it’s the end

Your will never hear
Me never ever say
"You are only second best"
Tomorrow's remnants
In the hands of gypsies and magicians

Hey, hey, hey I wanna leave more than ever
But I have no excuse

Hey, hey, hey is it cliché to say
"Its all me baby not you"?
You can never really tell
If their the one and only

It's all about how you feel
There is no spark but you are the one for me

I'm not really sure
If it’s the right choice

Oh, oh I don’t wanna be this way
Another time, another place
I think you could be my saving grace
I don’t wanna throw you away

Oh, oh you know I got some thing to say
I can't lie to your face
Maybe it's time we take a break
I'm sorry but I need space

Hey, hey, hey situation is ironic
Cause I've been in your shoes

Hey, hey, hey no I don’t really think
I can do this to you
I know I'm being selfish
I know my eyes are wandering
But I can't even help it
Think we rushed into this too fast

Hey, hey
Hey, hey
Hey, hey
Hey, hey
You know I got something to say


Oh oh I don’t wanna be this way
Another time another place
I think you could be my saving grace
I don’t wanna throw you away

Oh oh you know I got some thing to say
I can't lie to your face
Maybe its time we take a break
I'm sorry but I need space
I'm unappreciative
Of everything you give
It's another reason to leave
You're way to good for me

Whats your name?
Where you from?
What do you like?
What do you hate?

I see
Tell me your story
I'm curious
So amaze me
You're so pretty

Come on
Tell me your sign
You know
We got nothing but time
Don’t send me away
My interest is peaked
Make my day

So please
What's your talent?
What can you do?
There's gotta be something
Maybe name a few?

Well now
I have no idea
Where this will go
I'm an inquiring mind
Wanting to know

Visually your pleasing
And my brain is twitching
From your teasing
Tell me, whats on your mind?
Baby we got nothing but time

He had laid his wide yet weary eyes upon her in the great halls
Her hair shinning in the light, eye dark and shimmering eyes
And a smile that could stop a legion of chariots, made his come to a sudden halt
Ah yes, she was beautiful, extremely
But at the time his heart was in someone else’s possession
A girl from the land of plenty, and to him she was everything, to her he was just an ornament
Selfish, tyrannical and controlling
He put everything  forward, she pushed it along with him away
in a drunken lustful stupor she cast aside two years of life and love that they had shared
Angry, saddened, hurt the boy limped into the nearest cave to mend his wounds
There he found another girl, this time two year younger than he
She was bright, confident, and kind to him
He hadn't forgotten  the girl he once loved, he wasn't ready to leave forever
Forsaking, the memories and the ties that held them together when she has altogether retired
He tried to focus on the young girl for she, like him put everything she could forward, as did he, for her knew it would be most dishonorable not to try
But his pain and anguish limited what he could bring forth
He tried and tried until his heart stopped sobbing and healing began
Many months passed, he and the girl grew close, she was good to him and him to her
But to him it felt forced, he felt he needed to be with her for the kindness and understanding she put upon him
He was grateful  and truly did care about her
But it did not feel right, it would be wrong to stay with her without an honest burning passion for her
So he left, as politely and nicely as he could
Leaving no mess or unanswered questions
No guilt or remorse
He then recalled the girl he had seen in the great hall
The girl he had often thought of in his journeys
From the mountains of the bear to the gates of Clifton
That girl was still in his mind, flashing thought of her from time to time
In that time he began talking to her to see what would happen, he did not know what would come of this
In the back of his mind he knew what burden he bared
The burden of lust, to flirt with various women and men
Diving into passionless ravenous sessions of *** and lies
Always leaving physically satisfied but mentally petrified
Scared of what will happen next, another kiss, another meaningless gathering of  two lost souls
He liked it, flocks of women, packs of men all for his taking, life of wine
Oh the finest **** to smoke, the finest ales on tap, bottles on deck, all for him
Freedom, gluttony, self destruction, he did all because he could
He belonged to no one, none but his vices
Why did he lust?
For his life up to that point he was undesirable, strange, sloppy, singled out
Never wanted by anyone, always alone always walking the roads wishing someone, anyone to be at his side, then the girl from the land of plenty took him and showed him her ways
He became like her, subconsciously, selfish, uncaring, unfeeling
He believed in love when he was with her, but at the same time gave into his temptations
And hurt, lied and cheated
And he did it to her and the young girl
Even after promising not to
The burden of no self control, the burden of temptation, the burden of guilt free lies
No more, it was time for the boy to be a man
He was reaching his 20th year, it was time
The girl from the great hall and he began to weave a tapestry of truth and love

Now here's that brutal truth
I'm a guy who believes in love, when it comes to soul mates there are none
There's no possible way that there's only one
Are you following so far?


So now I see
There's some one else for me
So I’m moving on
Good bye and thank you now I'm on my way

Get my fishing pole

I'm not saying this cause I'm bitter, oh no
I'm saying it cause you have the right to know
So why waste your time in a fairy tale?
You control who you end up with

So now I see
There's some one else for me
So I’m moving on
Good bye and thank you now I'm on my way
Nothing to say
So come on prove me wrong
You can't I win your excuses are so lame

Some do say it's destiny, there's no such thing
You control it its your heart
Build it up and it falls apart
I think you get whatever you put in
It may work out
It may no,t oh no

So now I see
There's some one else for me
So I’m moving on
Good bye and thank you now I'm on my way
Nothing to say
So come on prove me wrong
You cant I win your excuses are so lame

I think I lack a life
And feel dead from the neck up
But it's easy to see
I don’t give a ****

No
No
No

No motivation
Just constipation
Mostly
*******
Pay no attention
To my frustration
Breaking my concentration

I can't find a job
Must admit I don’t look hard
I wanna fix my ways
But I don’t know where to start

No
No
No

No motivation
Just constipation
Mostly
*******
Pay no attention
To my frustration
Breaking my concentration

I'm evil
I'm twisted
My train ride
I  missed it
I wanna
Get better
I'm writing
This letter

Dear reader,
I can't get outta my own way
And I have nothing to say
About the person I am
But help me if you can
Or maybe I shouldn't change why should I rearrange
I like who I am
So ******* man

No
No
No

No motivation
Just constipation
Mostly
*******
Pay no attention
To my frustration
Breaking my concentration

Nervously lighting another cigarette
My hands twitching and my head spinning
I look back at my trips to the city
With my first love, holding hands walking all over the island of Manhattan
Wearing my leather jacket, hoody and skull cap
Then, to my current love walking side by side holding doubt in one hand and self loathing in the other
She’s so good to me so why do I do the things I do?
I am a *****
I am a pig
I am a liar
A hypocrite
And a user
Or am I just dishonest to myself?
No not just to myself but to everyone
We walk through the Village with Scott and Tony
Laughing and seeing the street art
Drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes
Looking for the next stop of our interest
I think of the girl I’m seeing behind the curtains
Do I want her? She’s unsure as I am
Asking herself if she wants me
I don’t want me
I’ll do the same to her as I did to the others
I'll lie and build obelisks of false love stories
I was a believer in love
One and only one soul mate
But the pain changed that
Now I believe in making it work
But also free love
Or am I just a bitter ****?
I don’t know
She tells me she doesn't feel special
I don’t show her off like the one before her
It’s me not her
She gives me love, honesty good times
Social networks all blocked
No contact
Secret meetings and deleted conversations
I hide my tragic impulses
Everyone knows but not really, not at all
I kissed a man two nights ago, he wants me too
But I’m just looking for a good time
Am I just young and reckless?
Or am I stupid and remorseless
No, I’m not remorseless
I wouldn't be writing this of I wasn't
Then again this situation is just another trial
Another error, a tribulation
One step closer to finding out my limits and who I really am
If I leave her I am no better than then girl who left me
A drunken decision
A painful incision in the capillary of lust
The roads are blocked, good
I can’t make a decision without them being aware of the bigger picture
I bide my time
Time
Time heals all wounds but the scared are there until forever
My stomach is in knots 24/ 7
Constipated with guilt and indecision
I ask god, Buddha, Shiva, Jesus, Mohammed, the Greek gods, the Egyptian gods, for the answer
What do I do?
What do I fix?
How can I change?
I’m tired of crying like a little boy with a scraped knee
I need to be honest with myself
They both mean nothing but they want me
I need to find a person that means something more than just a place to stick my ****
I stick my **** in other people’s lives and **** it all up
I’m a monster, a ***** devil
I’m emotionally detached I see it now; I need to find my way back to the belief I once treasured and respected
It's all on me
But I don’t know what or who I want
I must find the pedestal and place someone up there
Or do I?
Do I really need someone right now?
Is it time?
I don’t know?
Should I just be alone with no attachments and go on doing what I’m doing?
No, that’s not solving anything
If I’m going to be alone I’m going to be alone and not look but be looked for
I don’t know why these people are in my life
I put them there
I built the rickety bridges
And what of Kathleen?
Just sending out more lies just to get my rocks off
Nope not going down that road stopping that right here
And what of Mary? Nope not doing that either
I’m learning
But now I have two
I used to have none and that made me want everything
Now I have too much and I wish I could throw it all away
Maybe the gods sent me this to make me happy maybe I should enjoy the luxury of having people wanting me
Or maybe it’s a test to see if I deserve to find the one and only, if they exist that is
In the subway I see a girl checking me out smiling; I smile back with my girlfriend next to me
I’m disgusting
I cheated on my first love seven times and never told her, she cheated on me once and confessed and left me, karma
I deserved the pain I brought it on myself
Whoever I choose I will not cheat ever again, but who do I choose?
I need more time
So I’ll take it, I'll fake it then make it or break it
Or do I chose myself and negate everything
American spirit takes me away
Back to Manhattan
The glitz the glamour, the icy winds tearing at our faces
We wait for the 167 to take us home
I can’t sleep I text the new girl and ask many questions to get to know her better to make my decision easier, it does not help
The fact that I do that just proves my weakness
I will wind up with neither I know it
The decision that the one before had to make is now before me
I feel as though I need to choose the one I’m with to do the right thing, but what is right?
What’s right for me?
Marijuana clogs my process so I won’t partake in its consumption until the decisions made and maybe not even after
Who am I kidding?
I will

Counting down 5, 4, 3, 2, 1
Hear the snakes rattle
Hear the cymbals crash
Hear the angles sing
See the ocean roar

The road moves under my tired tired feet
Street lights pass over head at an alarming speed
My heart racing my hand steady on the wheel
My eyes focused yet widened
Her thin face
Brown complexion
The street lights shine on her face
Her gray wool knit cap

I can hear the machines
I can hear the speaking just over the river
A beam of purple light lights up the sky

They've found it

The earth goes black

My head is in excruciating pain
Blood on the wheel the wind blowing hard
The girl is gone, I'm alone with my wrecked car
Where am I?
Where is she?
What happened?
What's gonna happen?
I need to keep moving, the girl is of no concern
She was just a stranger I need to carry on

There;s nothing that I wouldn't give to you
And you turn away
Please don’t walk away
No I won't

No I won't
Won't ever lie to you
Trust me when I say
I won't ever walk away
I won't

So selfish
I can't even fathom
Why I love you
Even after everything
You put me through
On a fire I'm standing
To prove to you
That I am not pretending
My love is true

I will do anything that you ask me
Even if it means to go and leave you alone
Baby I'll do it all, just so I can see
That sign that you're happy and make my love shown

This ain't fair
I'm giving you my heart
And you don’t care
I'm falling apart
Shadow of how I used to be
And I still want you
Even after everything
You put me through
And I'm not pretending
That I need you

I will do anything that you ask me
Even if it means to go and leave you alone
Baby I'll do it all, just so I can see
That sign that you're happy and make my love shown

You don’t even ever think about me
If I was dying you'd just leave me alone
The smoke has cleared and I can see
You’re a monster your true colors now exposed

All your lies have been plaguing me
This is my one promise I'll keep
I won't
Now I can feel my whole head spinning
But now I know where I'm going
Detached and so ready
So ready to live

You don’t even ever think about me
If I was dying you'd just leave me alone
The smoke has cleared and I can see
You’re a monster your true colors now exposed

All people will die
Some are never alive
Never lived freely or thought on their own
Always put down with out a sound
Victimized all year around

When you live
The callous have nothing to give
When you breathe
They tell you how you should be
When you live
Take and give
I insist

All people will die
Some are never alive
Some are permitted and others denied
Most are just laughed at and I know that
It’s a cycle going round and round

When you live
The callous have nothing to give
When you breathe
They tell you how you should be
When you live
Take and give
I insist

When you live
The callous have nothing to give
When you breathe
They tell you how you should be
When you live
Take and give
I insist

I'm packing my bags
I'm leaving this place
You'll cry when I'm gone
But you'll never see my face

There will be no goodbye
I'm walking out the door
I just can't take it
Won't take the fighting anymore

I refuse to play the game
And now I turn away

Home sweet home that's the expression
Home sweet home where you get a lashing
Home sweet home my heart is bleeding
Home sweet home i must be leaving

The screaming at me
The mistrust in him
The hatred for her
The light is getting dim

I love all of you
But I just cant cope
So I'm leaving tonight
I'm leaving my home

I refuse to play the game
And now I turn away

Home sweet home that's the expression
Home sweet home where you get a lashing
Home sweet home my heart is bleeding
Home sweet home i must be leaving

Home sweet home that's the expression
Home sweet home where you get a lashing
Home sweet home my heart is bleeding
Home sweet home i must be leaving

Deep inside my mind
Way back in my head
Somewhere in my heart
Is where the story starts
The shaking in my hands
My life all in a flash
The shivers down my spine
This is wear my sorrow lies

Our enemies on the ground
Our dreams coming true
Counting grains of sand
This is where it ends

Turn it up n let it go
Sit back and watch the show
Our three ring circus
You won't forget us

Tales of love and loss
Trying to make it
At any cost
Here we go

Hello doctor I'm in so much pain
I will pay any amount to make it go away
You see, my head is pounding and I can't see
My burned throat is what's really ailing me
Not even my shattered heart hurts this bad
These lacerations are making me go mad

I need to speak but it hurts so much
I need a vocal crutch
The wounds filled with **** and misery
Why oh why has karma done this to me?
Shouldn't have been a loud mouth
So my throat is closed now

There must be some sort of pill to heal me
Perhaps a shot, a needle, yes a vaccine
It strangles me from the inside out
I can't even scream for help
No I can't make a sound
I'm asking for a remedy
Oh please I'm begging on my knees

Worst pain I've ever felt
Inability to talk
Choke in my sleep
Nightmare where I'm in a sonic lock

Inflamed
Engulfed
Infected
And swollen
I fear
Ill never
Ever
Speak again

Worst pain I've ever felt
Inability to talk
Choke in my sleep
Nightmare where I'm in a sonic lock

I need to speak but it hurts so much
I need a vocal crutch
The wounds filled with **** and misery
Why oh why has karma done this to me?
Shouldn't have been a loud mouth
So my throat is closed now

Lost my voice
To the pain
Lost my choice
It was slain
And now I wither in silence
Doctor, doctor gimme your compliance

Some drugs you can smoke
Yeah gimme a kiss
Shes the drug for me
This is some good ****
When I see you I get so baked
When I feel you I get so ******
Everyone's saying "quit"
But no, no I won't

Come on, come on show me those dazzling eyes
You know your touch makes me lose my mind
Yeah she gives me a such, such a
Contact high
Contact high
Contact high
Contact high

Forget my own name when I'm with you
Loose my motor skills, need another hit or maybe two
Think I'm an addict oh well it's all good
Shoot you up every day yeah, I wish I could

Come on, come on show me those dazzling eyes
You know your touch makes me lose my mind
Yeah she gives me a such, such a
Contact high
Contact high
Contact high
Contact high

Kindly back the *******
Can't you see I'm ******
Not at you not at all
But I might unleash it

I've had more than enough
I'm way beyond mift
My hand,your head,that wall
You stupid *******

They pulled the pin
This is it
This is it

I don't know why I'm mad
Forgot to take my pills
My fists are shaking with rage
And my face is turning red

Think I'm gonna do something bad
This is not at my will
Rabid bear in a cage
And it hasn't been fed

They pulled the pin
This is it
This is it

Don't even make a sound
Shut up you're going down

You're blood on my hands
Don't tell me I can't

Cause I will
The feeling that kills

Blind aggression leave me now
All my anger get the **** out

Don't even make a sound
Shut up you're going down

You're blood on my hands
Don't tell me I can't

Cause I will
The feeling that kills

So who will be your lover now?
I’m out, I smile and take a bow

No one to be there
For you no more
Cry your eyes out baby
Cause I'm gone

Now you apologize
You must think I'm dumb enough to believe you

You lied
Right to my face
I never want you again
So goodbye

So this is it no good bye kiss
No so long hug or one last ****
You cheater
Heart break *****
That’s it
Just my luck
All it took
Two seconds
Enough in my book
Walk out the door
No more
This is bitter sweet
Now you've lost me
Yeah yeah you will see

You tore my life to pieces
So now I'm finally out and
Living it up
Don’t care what your doing
I don’t need you

Now looking back on us
We really should have seen this
All the problems ah forget em
They've drown to the inner sanctum
Dow, down
But I do recall
You were just so ******* selfish

I couldn't take it
But I gave in
Dumb-***
That I was to let
You continue
Even took my trust
And ripped it to bits
Then just left
But it's for the best
Now I'm finally free and
I can do what I want

You tore my life to pieces
So now I'm finally out and
Living it up
Don’t care what your doing
I don’t need you

Now I let go
So this is it no good bye kiss
No so long hug or one last ****
You cheater
Heart break *****
That’s it
Just my luck
All it took
Two seconds
Enough in my book
Walk out the door
No more
This is bitter sweet
Now you've lost me
Yeah yeah you will see

You tore my life to pieces
So now I'm finally out and
Living it up
Don’t care what your doing
I don’t need you

I can't even focus
My thoughts are so cluttered
Merged with my emotions
Makes me irrational

Paranoia chokes me
Apathy chains me down
Memory’s dark I can't see
You lying little *****

It's all in my head
Do as the voices say
It's All in my head
Hallucinations and accusations
All in my head
Not sure what to believe

My anger, my love and lust
Triggered by loneliness
On my own and lost
Maybe over-thinking

Nervous twitches won't leave
*****, headaches,depression
Nothing's wrong with me
A soap opera in my mind

Alone with my thoughts
This happens a lot
Don’t know what to do
But I'm blaming it on you

It's all in my head
My doubt and disbelief
It's all in my head
My hands shake as my mentality breaks
All in my head
Not sure what I see

Exile lead to anger
Anger went to sadness
Sadness turned to bordem
Bordem morphed to

WAKE UP

It's all in my head
That means I'm in control
It's all in my head
Clean this mess, burn my empty stress
All in my head
I will succeed

Cleaning the pan when it's still hot
Look at my life see what it is and what it's not

And even with all the lights on
My cluttered room is still very very dark

Night vision goggles would be nice
So I can figure out how to rearrange my life

My girls gone
But I'll be alright

Family's stressed
And moneys tight

So on edge
Won't lose this fight

Looking for help
There's none in sight

People around me are such fools
An adjustable wrench is a more useful tool

My grades in school don’t even exist
All that money they paid down the toilet like ****

But at least I still got my health
Oh wait I ***** when I eat, cant breathe oh well

My girls gone
But ill be alright

Family's stressed
And moneys tight

So on edge
Won't lose this fight

Looking for help
There's none in sight

Stop your whining
Stop your lying

You're in control
So fulfill your roll

There's not much time
Now save your own life

My girls gone
But I'll be alright

Family's stressed
And moneys tight

So on edge
Won't lose this fight

Gotta help myself
And save my life

Let me out
The clock is moving too slow for me
It stares at me, it's laughing

I really don’t wanna be here no more
My foots tapped a hole in the floor

Let me out ,let me out
Rip down the door

Let me out, let me out
This place is a bore

Let me out let me out
I can't be restrained

Let me out let me out
Or I'll go insane

I check the time again it ain't changed
Earth's rotation is to blame

I'm way too tense to be trapped in here
You find me rude but I don’t care

Let me out ,let me out
Rip down the door

Let me out, let me out
This place is a bore

Let me out let me out
I can't be restrained

Let me out let me out
Or I'll go insane

I got no place to go
I just can't be here
Or I'll...I'ill
Explode

This moment in time
Goes by way too slow
I'll lose my mind
If you don’t let me go

Let me out let me out
Rip down the door

Let me out, let me out
This place is a bore

Let me out, let me out
I can't be restrained

Let me out,  let me out
Or I'll go insane

A lonely boy
Out on his own
Making up stories
New tales shall be told
Trapped in a fable
That you did write
And you’ll never see
Because you’ll never be
Alive
You’re dying

Oh lonely boy
Forget the ink
Erase the pencil
And live for today
Trapped in a myth
That you did write

Lonely boy
Why'd you pick this day?
At their expense
To die in misery
The fiction of your life
That you did write

I don’t need her
I don’t want her
She is nothing
Just a liar

Then there's me
So who am I?
I'm just a boy
The boy who lied

So we were wrong
And we were young
This is true
We were in love

Seven little lies
Now our love dies

Seven other girls
Destroyed our world

Seven secrets
And one regret

Now I hate me
And I hate her
Why did I say
Forever?

Ill keep my word
I know you won't
I still love you
I know you don’t

I was wrong
And you're still young
I'll give to you
My sorriness and love

Seven little lies
Now our love dies

Seven other girls
Destroyed our world

Seven secrets
And one regret

You treated me bad
Then I'd get mad
We’d work it out
But your gone now

Seven little lies
Now our love dies

Seven other girls
Destroyed our world

Seven secrets
And one regret

Thank you for your undivided attention

I've recently come across my old poems and songs from 2009-2012

And I'm going to be posting them, so read, comment and share

But be advised, my writing was not as developed back then but I want to show you another part of my soul

Thank you :) , much love to all of you

The premature blackout
Covers the affluent socialites
The abysmal hate and animosity within the commoners
The untouched young and their purity
Forevermore
But in darkness we're all equal, we're all equally blind
Money means nothing
Appearance is invalid
The words you speak are what make you precious
And it wasn't until the now this truth came to surface

The ones behind the guns hide behind a barrel loaded with flimsy intimidation
The ones standing on the edge of reason are just kids who never got enough attention
Tricked into living a life that leads them to a destination that was not meant to be their own destiny
And that living proof is about to die

Grief and shame come undone
You place the blame on the one who is the cause
You're ashamed but won't shed a tear
Because you live with the fear of letting things out
But now your filled with doubt
All because you bottle up everything

Breathe

It all looks like win or lose
Too many may look like too few
Some have mercy, some strike true
Some leave their enemies to stew
Paralyzed until their lives are through
Some just strive to make peace with themselves

Jaded outbursts are first to fall
And cause arrogant to sprawl
Across the globe, desecrate it all
Decorate it wall to wall
Demonstrate their gutless gall
To dehumanize the masses
And denounce the value of life and faith

You have a choice between eternal damnation
Or a consecrated salvation
But through spiritual education
You gain a certain inclination
To obtain information
And build your own road with out regard to heaven light or hell fire

Decide

Commercials fill your head with ****
Say they can sell you charm and wit
Hand you all your desired possessions
Stare at the screens you drool and sit
With your scratch and sniff ticket hoping to win
As experience and opportunity leave without saying goodbye

You calm your soul, it's immortal
There is no foe to great or tall
Your'e all you need you have it all
But then another soul causes you to fall
To your knees in worship and you crawl
This is love, the desire to put two and two together and somehow make one

But then you ask "who am I?
You glare at the ground and stare at the sky
You ask what, where, when, how and why
Sort the truth from the lies
And figure out it's not something that defines but something that you defy
Because it isn't what you do it's who you are that really matters

Relax

Look at those with narrow minds
Who obey all the misleading signs
Who blindly sign their names on the dotted line
Thinking they'll be safe and it will all be fine
If they just stay in line for a life time
And never question a single thing except why they never got where
they wanted to be

Some will stick up their nose
Toward anyone who does oppose
Their beliefs or doesn't wear designer clothes
Because to them they are those
Kind of people the Lord hasn't chose
But then they'll go to church on Sunday and pray for eternal life then go out and treat people like they're below them

Then there are people who have nothing
Stuffed with gin and ***** stuffing
Victims of others bluffing
Sit on the streets puffing and huffing
But I feel like they know something
What it means to have no where else to but up because they're already at rock bottom

Be

The new born babies have not a clue
The kids only know what they want to do
The teenagers hormones brew
The young adult's forget everything they thought they knew
And the old are in shock that they've made it through
Hopefully in the end we'll all get what we came for

People these days are afraid to be wrong
Scared to admit they're not that strong
Searching for a place to belong
Sing the song of contradiction
Because only a fool doesn't change their opinion when new information is given

My soul, my mind, my body and heart
Feel the evil finger pick apart
The lives of the faithful and their art
Tossing heat-seeking darts
At those begging for a fresh start
I cannot take it, no one dares ask to see both sides of the story

Imagine

I feel as though I'm different than the people my age that I see in the bars and clubs I go to

Not better, just not like them
Maybe lesser, I don't know

I don't dress like them
I don't listen to all the same music as them
Or even into the same movies as them

I wear Italian leather Beatle boots
They wear Nikes or Jordans
I listen to Bob Dylan or The Mountain Goats
They're into whatever rapper or dj is hot right now
They're talking about American ******
And I'm still trying to wrap my head around Inland Empire and The Holy Mountain

And it's not the fact that we don't have similar interests
It's the fact that we have nothing to actually talk about or bond over

I have problems meeting people and making friends
I even have problems keeping friends

I'll tell you why
I lose friends because I see people for who they are
I observe and I listen
I'll even call someone out if I've had my fill
Or I'll do something they don''t like
Not on purpose, I just **** them off

This one time when I was younger I had this "friend" and he asked m for five bucks
Now, this kid and I wee not close at all so I said no
Then I bought a drink  or something
And the next thing I know he's calling me grimy because I had money to give him but I didn't

It was then and there I realized the concept of the phrase "people ****"

People ****
We all say that
But why?
Because when someone does something to us that we would rather not have them do we automatically put them in the category of "****"

Oh you ****
He *****
They ****

We say that because they're not doing what we'd prefer them to do
Like hang out with us
Or do us a favor
Or keep a secret
Or lend money

But there is a ratio of suckage

The sucakge of someone's person depends on their history of things they've ****** at

If someone ***** at being on time, they're not really hurting you directly
They just can't get their **** together and by now you should prepare for that
So there isn't really any harm done

But someone who acts like a friend, gets on your good side, gains your trust and makes you feel comfortable enough to let your guard down just a bit
Then turns around and bad mouths you to people
Puts word in your mouth
Even make up lies about you
That persons suckage is outta here

And that kind of experience can make a person a tad wary in social situations
Bringing me back to my main point
That I feel a sting of separation between me and my peers whenever I go out

We're all twenty something
We're all out to have a good time

Then why do I feel so inadequate?
Maybe because I'm self conscious of my appearance?
Maybe because I'm not that tall, five foot ten is the average right?
Maybe because I feel like a loser for being at a two year community college for four years because I ****** up because I went through a bad break up and went into a drug induced spiral while dating someone who I used to make the person who broke up with me jealous and at the same time enabled me to further my drug use and care free attitude to rock bottom until I realized where I was and broke up with that person, got over the first person and met someone who made me a better me and gave me the confidence to  move forward
Maybe it's because I depend on relationships too much

And that's another thing
I'm with someone
But I go out to bars and clubs with the desire to possibly meet women
What the **** is with me?
That's wrong
Isn't it?
Could I be a polygamist
Maybe I'm just a selfish ******* who thinks with his ****

Maybe it's because I'm twenty one, still living at home with my mom and dad and don't really pay for ****
I work at a middle school in my town as a janitor part time for $10.25 an hour
Four hours a day five days a week
Most kids are either living at school and graduating by now
Or working and living on their own

Should I stop comparing myself to everyone?
Yes
Should I just keep trying to better myself?
Yes
Should I let the past be the past and learn from it?
Yes
Will I?
I'm making an effort to

I hate being where I am in my life right now
I'll tell you man it's been a long road and I'm sure you've had a long road too
And I feel for you even if I don't know you or have even ever spoke with you
Because we're all human
We all share this world
So why not?

You know maybe I am different
Maybe I am a little weird
Maybe I have a few issues
Maybe I am socially inept
Maybe I do **** because I;m not doing what I wish I was doing
Good!

That means I'm not complacent
Not that I'm ungrateful or anything
But I want more for myself and I deserve it
We all do

Some people say I'm the kind of guy who isn't happy unless I'm miserable
Well they could be right
Or maybe I just haven't found what makes me happy
But I intend to

Eurydice's ****** body is covered in moss
I feel her aged finish and weep

We all scattered when it hit
I ran into an abandoned watermill
To hid from the infection they're trying to spread
The knowledge of good and evil

Apartment complexes mowed down
Only the doors remained standing
To be open and allow a sound to come out
The sound of defiant opposition
That will shake the world from this contagion

The Birthgiver's sacrifice, her life taken in vain
Now a mystic, an alchemist, a shaman and a mage come from the other side of the world

Here is the sound
The one the calls us
Here is the picture
Faded to yellow
Tattered away by time

I am the multi-purpose good for nothing
Careening down a log flume
Being put on another sucker's list
Trying to set back the sundial
So I can summarize this fuzzy picture and see what it entails

I see lauded tutorials that are not even close to the proper way
Because there is no proper way

I see gourmet cuisines in doggy bags
To be saved for later

I hear clods trying to be funny, playing with euphemisms on the airwaves

I've driven down countless roadways
I've compared the song bird's plumage to the guy who tried to play off his plummer's crack
They're both one in the same
So I've got that going for me

I've found those who enjoy the uptight delights in life
Who, if a single hair is out of place receive a reduction in pay

So I suppose, I had better get on with it

Please Goddess of the Golden Spark
I'm lost and have no idea where to start
Please Goddess of the Golden Spark
This is why I pray to you

The coffee is ice cold
My father is getting old
The walls are growing mold
And my beer is warm and going flat

I'm suffering from a headache
I feel so out of place
Self-conscious of my pace
But I feel I should ignore all that

Yes Goddess of the Golden Spark
My light for when it's dark
Yes Goddess of the Golden Spark
My maxim that always gets me through

Light up your torch and lead the way
Forget tomorrow and live for today
Disregard what the peanut galleries say
For they're incapable of understanding  what you're doing

Do anything and everything, be inspired
Work until you perspire
And reach your deep desires
A task you won't retire even if you've reach your goal

No Goddess of the Golden Spark
The Coyote howls it doesn't bark
I won't neglect, I'll do my part
Opportunities endless, mistakes I know there will be a few

So yes, I know the world is infinite
The sun will shine and the moon will rise
That yesterday is gone and tomorrow has yet to exist
Then we are to discover the unknown

Oh Goddess of the Golden Spark
May today be marked
Oh Goddess of the Golden Spark
Though these times may seem stark
I now embark of my travels
A crusade to find land and sea of new

It's those thoughts that keep you from sleeping

The memories that either make your mind fluctuate with cringe worthy sadness
Or the recollections that entice us to laugh to ourselves at four AM and wish we could go back

Sometimes it's the worrisome or eager anticipation of things to come  

Though nothing is guaranteed
Tomorrow will bring the sun

The memories of that time when someone got too drunk and was so far gone you couldn't understand a word they we're trying to say

And as fast as you could say "hey, you don't look so good"
A typhoon of ***** came shooting out at light speed onto the floor
Then the wall
Then the way to the toilet
Then on the toilet
Then eventually in the toilet
And more often than not, on themselves

When she opened her mouth and spoke
Everything in my minds went silent

Every single thought and worry dissipated

When you're like me
Concerned
Self-conscious
Always second guessing  

You're never quite relaxed
Even at my most quiet and seemingly at ease
I'm over thinking
"Is my hair okay?"
"Does my breath smell?"
"Are my shoes clean?"
"Is this out fit stupid?"
""Should I've shaved?"

And when my eyes met hers the only thing I cared about was that gleam in her iris
The porcelain smile behind her lushes soft looking lips

"Oh **** do I look okay?"
"Oh man what do I say to her?"
"What do I do?"
"Okay, just be cool"

"Um, hi" I play with my hair
"Uh, I'm Tommy" I crack my knuckles
Avoiding eye contact at all costs

She thought I was cute

When we're together my focus was on her
The words coming out of my mouth
Well formulated

"Be witty"
"Be smart"
"Be funny"
Be nice, genuine, caring, honest and sweet"
But not too sweet, she'll think you're a *****"
But don't be an ******* either"

She laughed at my stupid jokes I would stutter on
And poke fun at my social awkwardness
She held my hand and said she never felt more comfortable with someone
She said she never had anyone care about her as much as I did

She told me she loved me and every time she said it I knew she meant it

Soon all my apprehension vanished
All I card about was her
The times I spent with her
The things I could to for her
The things I wanted to say to her
The love I wanted to make with her

And she would do the same for me
Her distress about the future
Of money and the pain of her past disappeared
When she was with me I finally had someone who from me as much as I did for them
For who they we're
And that's all I could ever ask for

Jack Squat, Tom, ****, Harry, Average Joe, John Doe and Mr. Smith
Decided to switch gears and do something neato
Instead of the usual nada and zilch

They went to go figure out exactly who's who in the zoo
And sure enough that's exactly what they did

They penetrated the mantel
Separated the crust
And stimulated the core

The Missionary positioned herself on her knees
And prepared to pray

They became metamorphic
They took the high ground
Ingenious
Sentiment

Fraternal twins
Both lived in eternal fret
One practiced fretwork
The other joined a fraternity
They both found each other years later at the amphitheater
They let their recessive genes surface
And clean the surface of their distressed jeans

Insane
In pain
Invain
My vanity
Is insanity
I'm panicking

The Golden age took place during My darkest days
Undisclosed illness
Indisposed
I left a bread crumb trail back to the poster board of my heroes and heroines

Masterfully
Mastery
Call me a maverick ,aster
Ask for me
Can't keep track of me
Can't keep up with me
Up keep
Big Mac attack
Crunch wrap supreme
It's not mystery
I'm a machine
Keep it clean
Make it shine and sheen

When it counted
I was unprepared and dumbfounded

But you'll never take them alive
They're already dead on the inside

I throw my voice
A slip of the lip
Plate tectonics take place  
Volcanoes erupt and coat the viceroy in ash

Cherish it

And there it was
A smoke ring blown into my face
And everything became halcyon
My heartbeat became the most profound thing I had ever heard

I wanted to live
I wanted to die
Ascend
Descend into deranged madness

Walk to the noise and fog
The vast shiver of empty Mid-morning delusion
I spoke in a slangue I never heard

My surprised lips
Do the unexpected
Abandon all thought
All modern emotion

I belong here

       -Tommy Johnson

Does this look infected?
Is it a skin tag or a stye?
Maybe it could be a cist

Rub some salt of the Earth in this laceration
Side with the one who says to burn it off with a cigar
The same cigar he used to burn off those leeches when I was younger

My soft gaze is fixed upon the wall
Woe, is me
Whoa it's me
I've skipped a meal and now the voice in my head is screaming
"A collection of weapons
Brought to the masses
It pumps adrenalin
Into the veins of the caste system
Think outside the box"

Neotreric inklings are inbound
During my wall gazing

I know what I must do, I have the tools
I am calm, I feel it calling and I see the path
I catch a glimpse
I grasp the concepts of existence
I practice and become aware

Now I play my flute and ride the white ox home

I omit efforts
It come naturally
It always has

There are six realms
Humans
Gods
Titans
Hell
Animals
And hungry ghosts

There are seven planes of existence
Physical
Astral
Mental
Buddhic
Spiritual
Divine
And Logoic

There are three worlds
Immaterial which is beyond perception
Fine material which one can enter and achieve bliss without sensual please or pain on the path toward enlightenment
And lastly the Sensuous where the six realms are and where we are

There are twelve dimensions
Three of motion
Time
Feeling
Thought

Three of space
Spherical separation
Circular separation
Linear separation

Three of energy
Electric
Magnetic
Etheric

The last three are The Creation dimensions
Universal consciousness
Universal thought
Universal feeling

I've dedicated my life to cause and effect
To find universal truths
I've found that the truth tickles the soul
Using dialethic logic

Do not hate, love
Do not harm, mend
Do not doubt, believe
Do not live in darkness, spread light
Do not be sad, be joyful
Find peace and create

You are within yourself

Give to give
Within giving you are receiving
Within respecting you are respected
Within accepting you are accepted

Do not torture yourself or others
Be free
Express yourself
Build your own morals and ethics
From logic and experience
Find the truth

Positivity is the key

Come to reason
With compassion and good health

Be loyal
Have discipline
Be patient
Be aware
Be knowledgeable
Focus
Gain wisdom

But do not be easily swayed
Question things
Not for me, or anyone
Do all this for you and only you

Feel life flowing in, out and around you
Be in the moment
Do not dwell in the past
Do not fret about the future
Know the difference between feeling and emotion
Feeling remains
Emotions come and go

Stand firm for your beliefs and for your inner peace and the well being of the world we live in

Create your destiny

Purify yourself from ignorance
Find serenity within yourself
Bring harmony where ever you go
You will be eternal

Death only claims the body
You are one with the universal in all its glory
Nothing can **** that
All is well

You and I are going to settle this score
Now that you've abandoned your special snowflake campaign
And overcome your Stockholm Syndrome

A dynasty has been created
The snowball's chance begins to take effect

The short order cook has taken a tall order
A citrus feast for a ship of marauders
To prevent scurvy

The  maitre d' disarmed them at the door
And allowed them to infiltrate the dining hall

The captain sat and twiddled his thumbs while his crew cut loose

The first mate drank fire water and shot it out of his nose

The quarter master ordered some fiddlesticks served on door glass

The boatswain ordered the insemination of a cow so he could eat the cow and all of its offspring
It was his first day eating meat again
He remembered his vegan salad days

The carpenter and ****** constructed a shrine of after dinner mints
And conducted a seance to talk to their old crew mate, Black eyed Ollie

He squandered his life searching the sea for a doctor to restore his sight
They planned to revive him and allow his spirit to possess one of them

And sure enough Black eyed Ollie entered the ******'s body and they took turns controlling the fleshy vessel
Black eyed Ollie got every day of the week that ended in "Y" and the  ****** got the rest

The filching crew of blighters finished their meal and went on their way
They left quite a tip
"Actions speak louder than words and money talks too
Yet talk is cheap
But time is money
So every burning second counts
Then let's freeze time
Take action and buy all the talk at whole sale price
And sell it at retail price"

So pay up man, I told you working here would be interesting

Way out in its own oasis
Its very own brand of homeostasis
Passed the jarred ideas and whacked out mazes
Is a spot

Full of unknown faces
Hailing from unknown places
Look at it, fall out with out protracted traces
Vacant lot

Then let's settle the score
What is your original face before your mom and dad were born?
Why not start over with a clean slate, as the smell of new dawns pervade
I forgot to eat

Maybe if you gave the derelict half a chance
And looked at things from the ambivert's stance
People wouldn't notice your ego's protuberance
Upstaged by an under study

Pull the button, turn the lever, push the switch and flip the ****
Predicate the incendiary infraction
Reductio ad absurdum
Lip service provides scrutiny

We've been normalized, what the recipe for ice?
We're full of emptiness, nothing exists
No-thing, not a thing does not exist
Life is deathless

I'm looking for multifaceted individuals
To fix something that's irreparable  
An eerie parable, something terrible
My future's told by flash cards

I put my head between my knees
Just wipe my memory
Leave me at the bottom of the sea
Leave my dignity to discard

When two separate divisions are over lapping
What's the sound of one hand clapping?
Comparing then and now every now and then
Again, never will I say"never again"

       -Tommy Johnson

Think of yourself as a raindrop falling
Into a lake of sugar water on a sunny spring day
Children come to drink the sweet water
To swim, splash, dive and to play

Tidal wave laughter pours on to the grass
Made of confetti and felt
Transparent bubble clouds waiting to burst
In the sky

Look at the world in the mirror
Made out of cylindrical crystals with blue and red beads
Hear hands clapping while you sing the next chapter
Throwing candy canes and jello molds at your feet

A floating piggy bank comes from the desert
Hoping you'd join him tonight
Now you rest easy because now you know what
It's like to fly

Feel the vibration moving so fluid
Through languid locations, of perennial plants
Their petals massaging your skin, so loving
Then the wind asks them to dance

The sun smiles down on the world
As a huge rainbow boarders around
You close your eyes and inhale the eons
And let out a supernal sigh

Scare the world
Send invites
To the refuse
They're enticed
The extreme
The absolute
Stand at attention and salute
Check 1
Check 2
Check 3
Check 1, 2, 3
Out of sight, out of mind
Oh, the mindless and the blind
Right in front, fall behind
The rise, the decline
Surly moon rocks
Burning sunspots
Ticks and leeches
Naked beaches
I'm the gluten free bread winner
The patron saint for all the sinners
A race, a class subdivide
Separated yet unified
Can't unsee what's been seen
You can never turn back time
But what can you do, what can you do
When life looks at you and hands you limes?

      -Tommy Johnson

Last thing I remember, was that drastic times called for drastic measures
She was out of town
He was out of order
The amalgamation of ***** little secrets and the insecurities I picked at
Which put me between Scylla and Charybdis
Urging me to make Hobson's choice
Tie up loose ends
Went to the bazaar
To pick up an ambigram of the word "Psalms"
And mirror image of the word "Proverbs"
Buyer beware
We speak in  strange slanguage here
So get on with it
Share sugar
Sniff out your own kind
Only time can tell
Tell time to hold up
Bank on tomorrow
On Eastern/ Pacific/ Mountain time
Local and global
Try to save face
Not aimed at any anyone specific
If you're wearing the shoe, you must fit it
Overbearing
I'm painted as a neer do well
  
     -Tommy Johnson

Reanimate the dead air
But not with mindless banter
Blither blather
Comprised of
Contradicting compromises
Less is more
More or less
That's more like it
Your'e just a statistic
There's always room for improvement
Your'e only human
An ectomorph waving a white flag
A mesomorph crying "SOS"
And endomorph in the shallow end experiencing the ripple effect

It's a white world
White washed
Yup
You need a strategy
To win this raffle
So you can win a chance to rub elbows with the ****** upper crust busybodies-chatter boxes
It's  win win
A win lose
In all its forthcoming splendor
Enhance your station
You spineless jellyfish
Taking your work home with you
Giving yourself scoliosis
Bending over backwards
Looking for something to depend on
A fallback anchor
You're in the hot spot
You cold sore
It's an inside job
You canker sore

I found the rat-fink bound at the whipping post
I found the ****** at the hitching post
I'm the one itching to go
Find me at the scratching post
Chomping at the bit
Chipping off the splintered wood on a telephone post  

Get me out of this stockade
Put me in the guillotine
Because I'm out of my head
And I'm going off
Bombard you with simple truths
You know it isn't all it's cracked up to be
If it's too good to be true
You've forced my hand
Now I gotta be uncouth
Something I gotta come to terms with
Something I gotta come to grips with

Looking back at my formative years
With the world I lived in hot on my heels
The celibate dust collectors
The abstinent hypoglycemic meat puppets
I was on cue
My cue to calibrate my own gumption
Bounced off the wall
Put on parole
Used my reserved rights to exercise my rights
To put my foot in the door and leave it a jar
While I stuck my hands in the cookie jar
But I guess there is such a thing as too much of a good thing
Become an over night success
Being famous for being famous
That whole scenario's played out
So mind your P's and Q's
I'll ask you point blank
Do you think you're ingenious?
Prodigious?
Are you in that proverbial extravaganza?
Collecting blood diamonds
Enunciation silent letters
That say all that need be said
Sent through the Pony Express
Written in an acrostic anagram
She'll answer with palindrome acronym in a Pig Latin
And she's right
In some aspect
To a certain point
To some degree
She sheds light
In some right

Forever in debt to the price to survive
Forever seems like such a long time
Forever damaging stubborn pride
Forever giving out bad advice

Nothing is absolute
And there are countless variables thrown into the mix
Do your best to simplify
Search for those high exponents to bring your base to a better place
No need for negativity
Times can get adverse and even inverse
But you must remain in power as an integer
There is no substitute for you
Distribute some of your positiveness
To all groupings of coefficients
And their properties
You have yet to reach your prime, but you will

Everyday you live is another social experiment
Live it with a grateful attitude
Gratitude
Play it by ear
Off the top of your head
Read the unwritten laws
And hear to the unspoken rules
Fair warning, they'll ask you to take sides
They'll take advantage of any soft spot they can find
People's lethal libidos
Off base orchestrations
Driving you up the wall
Repeating louder to instill their point
Tight knit cliques of fashion victims
Clever spoonerisms
Brutal braggarts
Do not let them get the best of you
With their slurred words
And blurred vision
I tell you this in confidence
You will have the last laugh and the last word
I know the past makes you tense
But if it's not your policy it's not your problem
Legend has it, time keeps you waiting
For your metamorphosis
To become your peacemaker
       -Tommy Johnson

The Patron Saint of Saturday morning cartoons  and The Patriot have died
They've died from patron-hate
We've come to pay our respects and show our patronage
We give the quarters we hid behind our ears for all these years

People go up to their friend, The Saving Grace
Saying, "I'm sorry for your loss"
And she deadpan replies, "Why? Did you do it?"
She was funny like that

All the people coming out of the woodwork
Who knew it was just a matter of time for these two to finally kick the bucket
No bones about it
It's just the luck of the draw
All the mourners come to talk about the two stiffs in the coffins
"IT WAS MY FAULT I WASN'T THERE!" cried The Merchant
"Don't be so ******* yourself" I said trying to comfort him
But I knew in the back of my mind that this guy was reading off cue cards and had such a hard-on for himself
Matter of fact, this caterwauling fool knocked everything The Patron Saint of Saturday morning cartoons stood for with out even trying to understand

"No taxation with out representation gives one a bad reputation"

The Patriot loved drawing baths, stipple dotting, still lives
Always paid out of pocket for the supplies

The best piece of advice he had given me was
"Cheesy stereotypes are just truths that were left out to age and gain a powerful smell we try to avoid because we can never face it"

The Signer and The Co-Signer went off on a tangent in the middle of the whole thing, I think they were having a war flashback or something

"Metaphorical formalities
Formulaic manic depressive
Compulsive obsessive
Metaphysical
Fairly impressive!"

These two were friends of The Patriot during his times at The O.K. Corral
They we're buried in Potter's field
The only two headstones in the whole place

The Patron Saint's read, "Stick & stones may break my bones but boards don't hit back"
And the Patriot's read, "Write me up, write me off, write this down, right on"

       -Tommy Johnson

My finger's on the fritz
On your door step, ding **** ditch
In that frame of mind during that time frame
Spewing gibberish
Sirens blare
Attention ****** with ulterior motives
Pick up the gauntlet
Surpass the bar raisers that got too big for their britches
Face the predicament with courage
Trot through the bible belt
Sort out the sugar coated *******
That right state of mind and the right time period
Attached at the hip
Tip top, ship shape
I see all the old tricks in the book
I smile and put it back on the shelf
I got a new one, don't look
For my eyes only, keeping this for myself
Withheld from the industrial fans, investors, blood ******* insects
At a loss for words
What you see is what you get
You get what you get and you don't get upset
But give what you get
So get going
With your selective hearing
And your selective memory
Do it for the down trodden
Don't settle for the consolation prize
Drum roll please
      -Tommy Johnson

Heaven forsakes
Pry it out
With the jaws of life
Off the handle and on the rag

Off the ***, on the needle
Off the record
On the clock, in the fetal position
Lights off, in the dark
Talking to myself
My Jerry-rigged heart
Jot down the notes
Under attack
And come out on top

I trust you kid
Like a rusty bridge
Was the fight fair or fixed?
It was one sided
Took a dive
Nose dive
The plummet
Sky falling
For a ha' penny

Dish it out if you can take it
Make it from scratch
Get off the fence
Out of the space
Between that rock
And that hard place
Go for broke
It's vintage
It's retro
You're pressed for time
Towel's thrown
Crickets chirp

Water it down
Dumb it down
Put it down
Throw down

Humble beginnings
To the bitter ends
Frantic boot heels
Optical illusions
The **** of a joke
Last but not least
Whatsoever
Then again

Telegram a trigger word
Dangle from an umbilical chord  
Eat the placenta
As the deadlines fluctuate
And the ambivalence
Is sealed in a canopic jar

It's experimental
Mental experiences
It's elemental
exemplary mentality
It's explicit
To solicit
The illicit
And go ballistic

       -Tommy Johnson

They're so generous
To call me and my work sui generis
I'm just inter-being
To learn from ignorance
By my own volition
To achieve total consciousness  

"Of all the nerve you sure got a lot of some of it"

Coming from oblivion
Ideas composing
The appreciation
Imagination turn into materialization
Expand and contract
The sensation of feeling
We crave and we cling
Becoming, we're born
A phase, we age
Sickness and death
Cessation, ratify or deny
Die gratified

These are the type of things we discussed in the Agora, all those times ago
       -Tommy Johnson

The over-zealous zealot passed the buck to the drunk monk
Who just got back from his vacation in ****, France
Crunching numbers out of context
Inflicting catch 22's

Vocable
Colloquial  
Do-able
Crass
Exerting energy on inert beings
A hankering for mediocre comestibles
Velvet intuition
Ignore the meteorological forecast

Cut to the chase
Regale me
Regain my attention
Tell me the difference between value, price, cost and worth
Distill my soul
Make me more refined
And filter me
So I may reign supreme
Good luck
       -Tommy Johnson

Surrender
Harden yourself
Say "I am priceless" and mean it
Because nothing could be truer

We all wish to be beautiful in the eyes of the beholder
On a **** beach
Unbiased and open minded
Immerse yourself in your own aspects, your assets

Understand that in the grand scheme of things you are your own worst critic
Being spoon -fed and stigmatized
Immeasurable passive-aggressiveness
Assert yourself when you're among the persecuting prosecutors in this co-ed world we live in

Capitalize on your inquisitiveness and wit
Ask more questions
You know you haven't got all the answers
Use your pheromones to your advantage

Trick questions coincide with equivocal answers
Are you a runaway train of person hood?
Going off the tracks?
Going out of your way to be the change you want to see in the world?

The Cut-up cut out and cut down The Middle man then cut in while he and his date were dancing
He tried to strike up a conversation but struck out when she struck down upon him blows of reigning rejection

Now The Psychopath and The Sociopath are at odds

The Psychopath thinks The Sociopath is sloppy and his ideas have no longevity

The Sociopath thinks the Psychopath is just having growing pains and need to learn to live a little

The Psychopath was born into this, but the Sociopath was born onto it

The onset of calculated impulses

Contain yourself
Control yourself

Looking at it from an ethnocentric point of view
Entertain the idea that you may be the antisocial one
Humor me on this one
Would a smart person waste hard earned money on an "I'm with Stupid" t-shirt?

Postulate the theory that their are six degrees of separation
That you are a few hellos to someone who is a friend of a friend every way you turn
And that person may or may not rupture the cycled path you've been treading

Told to be prompt
To have good posture
To do regular pruning to our appearances and keep them up
But price and participation always vary

Is it a tad underwhelming or did I speak too soon?
Was it lost in translation?
It's called acorn theory

Not what you came with
Not where you came to
Or even where you come from
But what you came as
And will continue on to be

The hustle and bustle
Packing heat
Flexing muscle
In the big bad city