is it not the way it goes
that everyone knows
how to live your life

ride that ferris wheel of life
get stuck at the top
a breathtaking site
all the possibilites
a utopia of delight

and when the ride ends
and your grounded
when you walk away with
that tear in your eye
know i'm your constant light

that beam to guide you
through your nights
and with each turn of
your ride i'm always
in your sight

the only cornucopia
of your life's delight

A thousand letters to write
Yet no words to make it right
Drowning in sorrows my lament tonight
Bekon the mind relive those times
Have another glass of wine
Pen another line hope it ryhmes
The past is a reflection
A futile attempt at recollection
That becomes an askewed deception
Let it decay be swept away
Tomorrows a gift if he lets us stay
Make each day act one of a new play

sadness comes from the emotions draining
a bloodletting of the hearts vibrant beat
the brains circuitry in over load, fighting
the positives and negatives, trying to find
the perfect path of sanity

as an aging man, I have known these feelings
a lifetime of questions, still to be answered
then unexpectedly, a simple word, I realize

remembering the past and all it's worth
what brought me here, is now understood
I have dragged all the stones of life I carved
laid them perfectly, in symmetrical order
built my pyramid, stood back in awe at
all that I've accomplished, smiled and rested
then asked, in a thousand years will it all
matter?

waiting for the moon, to peak, just over the horizon
illuminates, a soft glow upon fair maidens, dancing,
their flowing figures flicker, as if gentile flames of love
intice a young man thoughts of dubious, idle threats
the twilight of summer, surrenders, coolness of autumn
sturdy trees shed their leaves, stand naked, for all to see
the romantic breeze plays notes of colorful melodys
each one, a pretty song for the months gone by
do I recollect them, in an out of tune voice?
or keep them in my memories, for future rejoice?

If my paragraph is too long
To keep you interested
Perhaps sound bites are
What you prefer
You the know the ones were
Words flash across your eyes
You rearrange the letters for your
Mind to understand
Now you are content yet confused
At my verbage
Reread the paragraph and and find
All the phrases were I love you

The white canvass, scribbled
with sqiggly shapes
are words from my mind
my fingers seem so nimble
my thoughts perform a dance
with them
the ebb and flow of each sentence
conjures up many meanings
such is the manic, of a lonley man

a dimly lit light, a glass of shiny red
and all the voices talking at once
tell my story first, no tell mine first
whats the difference
they all end the same

perched upon the eave, the robin gives his speech
can't decipher what language he speaks
pull the covers off my face, feel the light of the day
try hard to wrench this body, from this bed I lay
but it all comes crashing down, in this whirlpool
I drown, in this swirling emptyness I found
all these sentimental breakdowns, leave me weak
to carry on

will I ever come close to what I felt so long ago
when my smile was broad, and full of hope
or am I stuck in time, fighting the villans and clowns
surrendering to their laughing sounds

slowly i slip back into my mind
evidently too much wine
i gasp for the air in your atmosphere
letting it fill my lungs with your love
oh darling you are always with me
and i know i'll probably forget what
i wrote here tonight but you know
its from my heartmy love

I don't want to do this, say goodbye
forever is such a short word
yet a long lasting scar on my heart
your toughness was just a facade
inside, the lite of love shined bright
your presence commanded attention
your touch soft as the summer breeze
the smoothness of your sway collects us
as if to say,come with me, I am your protector
I will see you with the other shining stars
just above the horizon, winking at us
then peeking at us while we dream
so I won't say goodbye,just hello to the
night sky

such is this dreary rainy week
cool numbness, yet not freezing
brisk winds flap the droplets
from young spring leaves
sun blinking from passing clouds

under this canopy I stand watch
waiting for a glimpse of you
sun's ocassional shadow of trees
plays on my mind, your voice
resonates, whispered trickery

so incomplete to mother earth
it seems, your footprints cease
who will tend to the ****** plants
caress with caring hands, nurture
will they bear their friut, alone

such are my thoughts on this
dreary rainy week, droplets
fall from my eyes, misty view
under this canopy,I stand watch
waiting for a glimpse of you

I shall remember yesterday, when today
goes away
cause my heart still yearns, for what I crave
the words you spoke, whispers to my ears
have me broken down into tears

I guess tomarrow starts a new chapter
for my life
but the pages are numberless, no end in sight
believe in yourself, one passage says
another proclaims, it was ment to be, I guess

was I swayed to think, when two people fall
in love
that there was nothing that we can't rise above
but the winds of time and space, have no feelings
when they calm, and you realize, you've been
unseated

so I shall remember yesterday, when today goes away
cause my heart still yearns, for what I thought I craved
the words you spoke, are now just whispers in my ears
yet they still  have broken me into tears

tonight as we danced under the brightest of moons
let us twirl away our worlds sadness
just you and I on our own stage, laughing
then applauding, at who we are
there'd be no more stabbing at the river of pain
our emotional swords have divided these turbulent waters
as we reach across it's banks, grab hold
we,ll drift calmly, so serene
till we free fall over the waterfalls of love
and flail into the ecstasy of unrelenting passion
hold on to me, hold on to you
till the horizon, with it,s magnetic sun
captures us, and we dissapear

shall we go now on this journey, once per year
let our footsteps engrave this earth ten fold
left are prints of who we are, who we once were
perhaps we will know, when our dreams are
at peace with Him

what have we done in this life He has given us
such hurt we have inflicted, such love we absorbed
has the joy I bestowed upon a stranger, enlighten
perhaps we will know, when our dreams are at
peace with Him

our faults are many,our good deeds many more
as we hope the balance favors us more
perhaps we will know, when our dreams are at
peace with Him

my god may not be yours,  for beliefs are personal
but each conversation, is on our own terms
we will take the scolding as He sees fit
and feel the good we have done for Him
our final question we ask, are always followed
by another question, the answers have questions
that have answers to that question

perhaps we will know when our dreams are at
peace with Him

for the brightest of light in the night
will guide us on this journey
one footstep at a time

Hello old friend, it's to hear
from you again
Me, I'm still mending my hearts
fences, from were this all began

Okay, so how long has it been
Let me pull out the letter, that you sent
Yes, I still kept them, a reminder
of what was then

You look tired and haggard
guess you new got old
What shall I do for you
My hearts not that bold, anymore

I wondered how long it would take
For you to realize your mistake
but like shifting sands that blow
in all directions
history can never repeat even
with corrections

walking down the avenue
right below my feet
dodging lifeless bodies
strung out from lost dreams
turning the corner, winds echo
little needles pricking all I feel
I sense the buildings, swaying
cold and stoic, yet to a beat
silently blocking the sun
each block the same repeat
but then it appears, foreign
the mist of the open sea
daylight pierces my eyes
recapturing those lost dreams

your last laugh, on this silent night
will shackle you with the coming light
that figure walks away, to your delight
but in the dawn you wonder, just what might

such is the day, with the brightess sunshine
as your heart drips, feelings of pine
"what have I done, oh treacherous mind"
for another like him, I shall never find

I guess she was the rabbit you pulled out of your hat
A thousand times of trying your magic worked
But knowing you you'll shove her back
Because in this day and age new is not good enough
There's always an up grade

Floundering winds whisper
Through hearts holes
Meek attempts to close them
In wails of pity
Devastation of the minds trust
Seems everlasting
Each new interest seems ghostly
See right through them
Time and loneliness erodes
What has been done
Strength rebuilds to sturdiness
Pulls up from the abyss

Then the night falls, and the cold winds
blow your whispers away
try to catch just one, to savior in my head
but my hands froze instead
we tryed to compromise, a hardy give and take
there was no middle, just the divide you made

the restlees heart , you posses
that passion won't rest
till the colors of your portrait is set
and you rise above the rest

such a burden, you've endured
leave us now, leave us later
twisting in the wind of your mind
you have no cure, uncertaintly for sure

so have another taste, sip another sip
don't be afraid to blink, its not yours to
think of what you might have missed
the past you've already dismissed

Shattered hearts lay strewn
Upon your nakedness
Empty cavernous eyes
Deep dark never ending
Cadaver stiffness cold and still
Many have tried defeated in shame
And the parade goes on

if you listen closely you can here me calling your name while i sleep
if you listen closely your eyes should close as you think of me
if you listen closely a tear should be running down your cheek
if you listen closely the sheets cover your head while i sleep
alone

if the last word you said to me
is the first thought I have when I dream
may I awake with vigor and vitality
then the first word I utter in the morn
reminds me of the night before
could it be a life reborn

these words I pen are not for them
cause they can't contenplate or comprehend
let their voices sway and bend
be blown away in the bitter wind

as their faces cringe and be appalled
their arrows of displeasure harmlessly fall
you and I will stand tall
as we crumble down all the walls

then I say, let them build their pathetic lives
and with our love, walk quiet into the night

come now, let your sorrows rain upon me
so my roots can soak up your sadden tears
my canopy shall shade you from all that ails you
sleep awhile, dream of your desires
the twinkling stars silently light your soul afire
wake anew, invigorated, walk away refreshed
and always know I'll be standing here
tall and firm
with branches of hope and love

will the truths said on this starlit night
evaporate with the morning dew
and when the hot sun creates cracks
have you stumble over them
face first you go, to comfort your lies
will there be any remorse
of your lovers demise

a bottle of wine and the music so fine
the notes and the melody, tantilze the mind
the lyrics flow, from a voice so strong
close the eyes, lead me were I belong
in between the layers, as the song progress
confusion battles, is it love or distress
let it ****** senses with moment of caress
that leads to questions, to address
such is the sprit of a forgotten song
that creeps and haunts,a love gone wrong

that if I were to say, in colors gray
confusion take hold, spinning minds
can't comprehend, not black and white
what now your blurred peering eyes

energy spent, exhaustion sets in, to new
simple and plain is what you exclaim
thinking is so much work, bordom sets in
fives minutes, enough, attention wonders

straight line is the norm, the outside box
is scary, touching your comfort zone
oh, colors of gray are the base
paint over with pastels and happy hues
such rainbows are wonderous
and filled with new beginiings

I think I'll fall upon
My sword
Plunge it deep without
A word
Perhaps conjure up a
Whirlpool
Let it **** in everything
I knew
Or I might breathe again
Release it to the wind
Let it carry it beyond
Come gently back
Without sin
If then it leaves an inprint
On my splattered
Thoughts
I'll dab them up
Rearrange them
With my hopeful cloth
Then I'll be whole once
more
From body to spirit my
mind I can again adore
I'll paint me with colors
Each sentence I spoke
Think of days past and
forward
Be blessed that I awoke

the word salad of deception they weave
and all these years our faces beam
the slogans of hopes and dreams
have left us with nothing to believe

their weathered faces  crinkled smiles
hiding their history of countless lies

the charactors on the hill
the donkeys and the elephants
sure get their fill
while the slave ants
bend  silent and hurried to their will

the promise is to have us
bend our knees and plea
as they smile, well'll get to your needs
yet the masses still adore
what they choose to see

their weathered faces crinkled smiles
hiding their history of countless lies

let the smoldering embers
be remembered
as a place of hope and dreams
yet she will be standing

waiting for you and our  promises
that Her flame will never extinquish
as she guides you to the the promise land

there is a lonliness in her smile
yet her eyes twinkle with passion
her walk is a smooth glide
yet her confidence seems shaken
I sense a past full of uncertanty
as if she ask, '' did i do the right thing''
I can only listen, absorb our conversation
perhaps give some thoughts that I have
hoping there not as futile as I think they are
but I see in her, such a lovely being
one of the many of god's great creations
let not the roads of uncertainty find you alone
let not the hallow voices from alleyways sway you
discover yourself again, touch your soul again
your flaws may be many, others to percive
but I am blessed to have you in my life
my wonderful friend

I saw you, you were standing, on that corner, alone with your thoughts
and I wondered, what your thinking, who your missing, or which way to go
your sad eyes, they dont smile as you turn and walk away
from this distance, I want to hold you, and carees you, just one more time
to let you feel me,as i feel you,and bring that smile back to your face
if you would just turn around and see that glow from under the street lamp
you will see i'm still here

hold me once again, just one more time
for the colors of my dreams are scattered
those rich textures are woven into streaks
that fade as time itself fades
such an enchantment that once held me
those ****** blue eyes that I surrendered to
have a hazy gleam of uncertainty
have we found ourselves in a cycle
of repetitive motions, a kiss good morning
a hug good night, a void between
a well place comment, yet such a hollow duty
I know now I'm not shiny and new anymore
corrosion can be so cruel
but when I look at you, you are perfectly polished
such a goddess that has been bestowed upon me
when all the " I love you" are the trueness of my passion.
perhaps you can touch me, and feel the brightest of love
I have for you, just one more time

Its not the still of the night
that calms my heart
Its the memories of our
last night
the gentile touch
the glowing light
the nervous feeling
you admit
as I kiss your lips
then the surrender of
your body to me
as we fall to sleep
in perfect harmony
mercy me, I found
in you the real me

you speak in in terms of ocassional bias
pull me into your selfish emotions
then shun my heartfelt responses
were am I to go
this back and forth conversations
should even out at the middle line
yet that line bows in your favor
and poke at my eyes
were am I to go
take my heart upon your stake
and swallow it at your convenience
then toss it on the third rail
then I will know were I am to go

can you feel me wilt in your arms
as you layer me with your charms
my eyes glance at that smile
that holds me safe for awhile

I want to tell you what I'm thinking
but my voice lacks that inkling
as the corners of your eyes start crinkling
all I can do is keep my heart from sinking

hoping you will taste each nugget of me
absorb it all into your bloodstream
to savior those magical feelings
only to realize it's just the begining

the clock says its midnight, another new year
but every year's the old year cause your not here
a new begining i'm told, time to move on with life
but the dusty old memories,come back to me at night

maybe this time it will be different, but i don't know
the best thing in my life, is so hard to let go
i wonder if you think of me, every once and awhile
and if you do i hope its with a smile

the clock says it's midnight, another new year
but every year's the old year, cause your not here
a new begining i'm told, time to move on with life
but the dusty old memories, come back to me at night

I must confess I was poorly made
I'm vulnerable yet strong
Cut easily from the blade
My skin is thick yet delicate to the touch
My mind is focus yet wanders too much
My hearing is excellent yet selective
My voice bold yet whispers when expected
My nerves shatter every once and a while
Yet I'm not ready for that funeral pile
My heart still beats awake or asleep
I hold dearly the dreams I seek
These are my confession I say to you

oh, the cool mist, that hides the hills
as the morning sun, seems to create a
rainbow of colors, for half awaken eyes

in the distant, I hear the voices of those
who tend their gardens, the valley below
in hopes of a fruitfull crop

I am but an observer, to this land
a momentary guest, trying not to intrude
but in such amazment, I am of them

they seem to enjoy what seems like toil to me
yet, their chatter and songs, are full of joy
perhaps they are aware how blessed they are
to be in a place of gods making

If tomarrow is the future we seek
Why wasn't yesterday the future to keep
They say the river run deep
So do I when I sleep
I hit a bump on the road,stubbed my toe
When I fell I saved my nose
Should I see a doctor, or a nurse
I'll pick the one who won't lighten my purse
Running from the past I'm free at last
Yet my breathing has left me agast
If I fell into a well and screamed for help
Would they send a rope down made of swirling kelp
If these words I've penned from dreams remembered
Would they be famous or tossed in the embers

The robins are nestled in the nest
The leaves stop breathing
And the limbs droop and rest
This the night at its best
There's a queer silent playing in my head
An atmospheric pressure instead
No real thoughts I can conjure up
And no catchy words to spread
If I was to awaken you from your drooling slumber
Would you answer or ignore the number
And after all the *** words that spew from you mouth are spent
In the morn you'll think it's a dream
remembered.

silence is what was heard
when you slam the door
my pitying of myself is nomore
this virus, I'll call you
has been eradicated from my soul
guess the the tonic of truth, that
I made you drink, has turned
you into who I already knew
I can now live the next phase
of my life, in peace

shall I cleanse the soul to find hope
and with hope, I shall find clarity
with clarity, there's a sense of being
and with a sense of being, I will finally
cope

let the dust of life that accumulates
collect and hitch a ride on the winds
and then the shiny new me, will challenge
the sun
for their are no more shadows for me to follow

another bullet, another hole
drips lifes blood, from the soul
another body on the streets
surrounded by wailing screams
yellow ribbons, a crime scene
wash the stain, down the drain
clean this spot, hope never again
walk past, just a glance,in a trance
focus on us, trying to advance
sorry it happen, life,s a chance
the safety of home, in our sites
survived the day, dodging meteorites
the morning offers up, the sun bright
today the day change has come
that's what I prayed for last night

first your created
then born
then you see
then you talk
then you experience
then you experience
then you experience
then you break down
slowly
I don't know, I forgot
who are you, there waiting
for me
take your place in the
night sky
I'll always say goodnight
sweet dreams

there are many on the ground
the beautiful bullets have found
in an instant, there were smiles
in an instant, only piles

lying bleeding, underneath the piles
asking, how can one be so vile
did the sermon of hate corrupt you
or was your mind, a reciever of fools

the talk of fear and the coming rapture
if you turn the page, there's another chapter
perhaps you should ask Him did you make
a mistake
let us all know His answer, for heaven sake

there are many on the ground
the beautiful bullets have found
in an instant, there were smiles
in an instant, only piles

slowly ,I'll add the soft piano chord to the background
with the high c note suspended for ten measures
then bring it down to catch the melody I get from you
the words you phrase are little notes that tingle my senses
they dance in front of my eyes as I lock them into my memory
as I play them over and over again when I think of you

When I settle in your mind
your breathing on a rapid incline
you sound the alarm, to your defenses
to surrender, a prisoner of your senses

but I am what you dream
streaming thoughts of what you need
fluttering eyelids, mouth agape
fingers glide , slowly to your lap

legs agonizing spread
to your hips, were your fingers lead
that shuddering seems to last forever
the after touches, follow you
though your daily endevours

you can thank me after dinner

each minute is sixty seconds
each hour is sixty minutes
each day is twentyfour hours
time without you
an eternity

oh my beloved america, were have you gone
tell me you have't lost your way
I remember when you were young and strong
has that fearful day that finally touch our shores
turned us against us
did it dent our invincibility, expose our weakness
so now the colors won't mix any more
is suspicion now the norm
you don't look right, dress right
you know i am armed, so I carry that swagger
don't take from me, I'll put you down
I'ts my right
least us not forget we stoled this land from the
real americans, which makes us all immigrants
I dream that all the gods we worship will one day
rise above us into the stratasphere
look down upon us mere mortals
and cast down the final demand
finally respect and love one another
or you shall be cast as a frozen orb
to the darkest reaches of the universe

Shall I fall upon my sword
plunge it deep
or conjure up a whirlpool
swallow everything
shall my breath, ease to the wind
set fire with no meaning
does my gentile caress
of a fallen leaf
leave an imprint to believe
and as it fades
only a shadow I see

as I decend down this creaky staircase
I can  see a glow of a cigarette
fresh brewed scent of coffee mixing
a window open His morning routine
though just a kid I wonder what He's thinking
probably family and work
hearing my footsteps, says good morning son
yawning. I reply, "morning Dad
I ask, " how are you today and with a chuckle
he replies " I feel good  and you?
I say  " I feel diferrent, I can feel what today
may bring
I don't understand" and he chuckles
the next morn, there was not a glow
from a cigarette, nor a hint
of fresh brewed coffee
only an empty chair, a closed window
and a start of my new morning