the tears are but drops of blood
falling
from every crack in my skin
spilling
onto the cold bathroom floor
creating
pools of crimson sorrow
washing
away the emptiness inside
remaining
only as stains
tonight i will run my feelings dry

Insult me, an I'll smile
Kick me, and I'll say sorry
Spit in my face, I'll wipe it off and say thank you
Wrong my children, and I'll rip your still beating heart out of your chest,
Shove it up your *** for flavoring, then cram it down your throat
Have a nice day!

self loathing
sleepless nights
slowly decomposing
a cigarette ignites

tossing and turning
restless dreams
hearts yearning
splitting at the seams

happiness wasn't her only loss
metal pressed against pale skin
glides smoothly across
lets nightmares begin

and now she is left
entirely alone
and the voices enter her mind and begin to roam
and  moan, and groan

Insomnia, always
The bewitched course of unending nights
Bitter nights swallowed in haste
I only want the comfort
Of the nest of arms to carry me
Through the tides of terror
That rise and ebb in the dark
I only want to be held
So I can endure the dreams of oblivion

I’m trying to grip the hands of the nearest shadows
I’m trying to see the lines of the cage that imprisons me
The dim landscapes that surround me
I’m trying to hear the thing in my chest
Burning day and night
I’m trying to smell the smoke
That envelopes me
But it's all out of reach
Undefinable, unplaceable
What are my roots, what are my boundaries
My goals, my aims, my dreams
I cannot quite grasp
Who I am and what I'm in

the thing about feelings
is that they change
yesterday,
  you may have been
   completely infatuated
    with someone  
     or entirely immersed
     in sadness,
   but that doesn’t mean
that’s how you feel now
or how you’ll feel forever
and i fear that people forget that,
  i fear we fail to remember
   that emotions are not permanent
    and maybe that’s why
     her stomach hurts
    when she thinks about
   the girls in his life
  before her
  or why i’m reluctant
   to share old poems
    because i don’t want anyone
     to think that’s how i feel today
    so maybe we should start asking
   “how are you?” more often
     and stop accepting
      the default “i’m okay.”
       and maybe we should start
      caring more about
    what people say now,
   instead of dwelling on
  words of the *past