The fire ripped through his mind, fed with oxygen from the cold northern wind
Each change of direction shattering window panes, shards of glass left to lie and reflect the light onto the ash where once feelings had been
Balloon framed tenements, built of century old, tinder dry wood burst readily into flames
They say where there is smoke, there's fire, did the memories living in dire predicaments have any chance at all of escape?
Her words ripped through him, "I wont ever believe you" after the thought brushed his lips "I would never deceive you"
The smoke of small distance, little pockets of silence and days spent mostly quiet and listless
Weren't heeded as the warning of the raging inferno that was to come
These memories came back to him, ten years later, as the smell of hope turned into smoke and caused his eyes to tear
After the fire, there were certain, seemingly insignificant details laid plain, and though he had swept up the ash and glass he knew he would never again be the same
Fire, much like pain, leaves noticeable scars that no amount of time can ever erase
And though he now knew why she had said those words that day, the scenes of the fire still played through his mind, the smell of smoke
Once happy memories stained by soot, now resembled nothing so much more than haunting ghosts
He stood there, on the front steps, not wanting to ask questions for which he already had answers
Nothing was different here, but somehow everything had changed since the disaster had left doubt formed into shrapnel lodged deeply in his brain
Ten years later, he was still cripplingly afraid
Matchstick in hand and a surface ready for the strike
To replay once again the anguish and agony of that night

Trying to sleep with a heavy heart
Is like trying to read in oppressive dark
It's like trying to breathe under crushing weight
It's like trying to escape a useless fate
The heavy heart comes about so quick
Upon the realization that your one love is sick
When at one moment she claims we were meant for eachother
How lonely it can be in the eyes of another
Trying to sleep with a heavy heart
While the world outside rips itself apart

This is the moment we've lived for
That we strive for every day and that's okay
Yes that's alright, because although it took some time
I want you right here by my side so we can look into the sky
And feel alive, knowing that everything is fine
Because we have the strength in us, we were so **** sure it died
But it sat dormant through the moments in which we struggled and cried
And now here we are, brought together with all the pain behind
To experience this beautiful moment where we put everything aside
To find our strength and find ourselves, on our own yet not alone
Where we can let the beauty of the universe fill our bones
Because I look at you now, and you're smiling
I swear I've never seen anything quite like it
And I realize that right at this time I'm smiling too
While soaking up the beauty in the sky, me and you

Can you feel what I'm feeling, now, when I think of her?
I can't imagine everything in those final moments, just a blur
We had given up love, just friends, and I was sad to hear she was dead
So I thought of her story, how she shared it all so openly
How she had been acting so insane, how she thought she'd beaten pain
She said then that she didn't need to run from fear any more

Can you feel what she was feeling, then, when the specter of fear
Kicked down the door she had closed and made himself clear
We weren't in touch then, no longer close friends, but it hurt to hear of her loss
It hurt to hear that her demons had exacted the ultimate cost
She drowned in the sea of misery and was lost

Can you picture what her father saw, later, when he found
Her swinging from the rafters, can you picture the disaster
Streaked mascara running down her cheeks and an utter lack of sound
Until his cries for help pierced that veil, because he thought that he had failed
To save her, not realizing he never even had a chance at all

I can see it and feel it all, forever, when someone's misery
Takes them to a place so dark that they can't see
And makes them extinguish their own flame while trying to find some light
When it takes them from despair into the endless depths of night
Can you feel it too? Can you imagine it all?
Someone who stopped the fight just to fall?
Misery loves company, and I have no one else to blame
Because I feel like I'll be the next to fall victim to my shame

Some days, I swear I can feel you
On the ocean breeze, during the rising tide
As if the ocean will subside and reveal you
Then you'll be whole again because the cleansing water heals you
At least that's what you always insisted, that's what you said
Where was the water when we opened your door then?
How about when I couldn't feel you with me at all?

You view yourself as everyone's anchor
But I see you like the sun, you've just set, and I have faith you'll rise again
For without you all of our days are just varying shades of black and grey
Your mothers tears fall from the sky like a never ending rain
You're not living but surviving, trying to **** off all your pain
But I have faith that you can face it, and though we can't erase it
We can heal as broken bones and become stronger than before
Even when the sun seems to stay set for so much longer than before
It always rises, for the blackest black comes just before the dawn
And without you all our hopes and dreams just stagger on and on
All along, I have seen it, the bright light I swear I mean it
When I say it comes from within your soul, I've seen a hopeless one or two
But that's not you, because faith can take away the very pain you can't escape
I just need you to believe that you won't break
And if you shatter all to pieces, look down at the shards that make the whole up of your past
Please see within them that even the darkest days don't ever last
Because the sun it always rises, the skies they always turn from black to blue
So please stop fighting, surrender to the light inside of you
And then shine it, illuminate the places you've been through
You'll realize it, that your fears can't get the upper hand on you
Unless you let them, unless your only though is of numbness and escape
Then I guess we'll have to wait for the sun to rise on another future date