The third time writing you a letter
It's getting darker, the weather worse
I'm trying to get across all of my feelings
It's the third time it wouldn't work
The lights, they flicker, my heartbeat silent
As the hurt builds in my head
And I'm wondering if there's violence
Just hoping you aren't dead
You've been missing, for a while now
And this exercise of writing is so absolutely futile
Because there's no address, no location
No means of tracking, no simple stations
On the radio where once I heard the music of your voice
Only the sounds of your mother, sobbing at your choice
I can hear her, so very softly, withering away
As day in and day out we wait for any sign at all
Waiting for a message or a letter, or god forbid the fateful call
Third time writing you a letter, maybe one I'll never get to send
The postmaster just returns it
When the address line says lover and best friend

The look in your eyes doesn't look like you anymore
The dark circles under your eyes, the smell of smoke upon your clothes
And you haven't said a word in hours, because you don't speak, you close
Every inquiry off with misdirection and no's
We know you aren't okay, dear, you can't hide it from anyone
Especially when you can't keep the secrets from yourself
How can you expect to get your pain past everyone else?
When the world turns to ****, you try to disappear
Your look changes, you give up on everything you hold dear
You run to those you hate, because you feel you won't get through
But you know when you leave, I'll look for where you flew
Because even when you can't love you, well, I still adore you
And when your look isn't the same, that's okay
Because I'll help you find yourself again anyway
And for all the time your silent, I still hear the chiming of your laugh
I still see you there smiling, our love transparent like glass
I know you can't understand it right now, and that's fine
Because you'll come to understand our love in time
One day you'll be ready, and you'll finally take my hand
And we can float up into space as planned

What will I find?
At the bottom of the riverbed
Will I find our hearts down beneath the sand and stones?
The silt and the bones and the millions of reasons why
It's only with you in my arms I feel at home?
I might have to wait a thousand years for the surface to erode
On top of the thousands I've spent all alone
But I know that when the river washes away
All the fear and uncertainty, both of our pasts filled with pain
I'll sift through the dirt like a miner sifts for gold
And I'll find two hearts beating, so beautiful and bold
I'll find that our two hearts beat as one, and that they have for eternity
Just like the fire of my love for you continuously burns in me
Then I'll look into your eyes, and see your beautiful mind
And for the rest of our lives we can know peace, and smile

You are hurt, I can see the pain there in your eyes
Some days you can't face it, and then you fly
But when you come back home to face
It all you know I'll be in place
Just like you will always be in my heart
Because being there is where I'll start
To show you how much you're really loved
So that you know when you look above
And see the stars, and see the moon
That I'll be looking at them too
I'll be here, until they disappear
Along with your pain and all your fears
So that you can share in this love with me
It's the only place I want to be
Like when I'm lying in your arms
Kissing across the surface of your scars
Each one a sign of your strength
For which I would go to any length
This love can endure all of our pain
It can weather the dark, weather the rain
I just know it to be true
If you ask me how, I'll say "I just do"

I took your love I took your pain
I got left holding all the blame
Now it's time for my long walk in the rain
Through the heartache and back again
The bough was bent beneath the weight
It cracked in half in the hands of fate
When it learned the sorry's were all too late
It retreated back into that place to break
As I took my heart and gave it away
I asked you to keep it warm and safe
You promised me with a smile that it would be okay
As it shattered beneath the flame
Now I'm picking up scattered shards
My life not measured in time, but yards
The distance for us is too hard
Love for me isn't in the cards
Because we threw the jokers from the deck
I didn't know they'd be all that's left
So as the final wave does crest
I pray that it drags me out to sea

Please come back
Let us know you're safe, that you're okay
Don't leave us sitting any longer, suffering for days
Wondering what happened, when your thoughts changed
Will we ever see you again?
Will have to identify you in the hospital, fresh tracks on your arm?
Will you leave us, your friends?
Oh God, please don't disappear, please don't do yourself anymore harm
We are praying for you, and it means nothing because God isn't here any more

I'm sitting here, listening to the same song on repeat
Seeing all the same mistakes, repeat, repeat
I can't feel your soul touching mine for the first time in forever
But I'm just not able to admit defeat
So I guess I'll never sleep again, at least not until you're safe in bed
Until I can get your words out of my head
Until I can swear to you that I meant what I said
I was never worried about whatever price had to be paid
I just wanted to help the light of happiness shine on your face
Help you be content in the present time, present place
And be there to give you my hand if you did fall from grace
So my eyes are glued open, blurring the blue screen
Looking for my chance to show you what I did mean
Because I meant I love you, unconditionally
It's unlike anything you've ever seen