No tie downs I'm livin free
Girls on my mind straight animosity
With females around I don't feel alone
A little bit or love on the rocks to take me home
Home is where your heart is
Where do I reside?!
Away from my past life by your side
Anchor me down but keep the fun
I changed when I realized you were the one

Invisible chain
Trapped by the hand that feeds me
Weighing me down, slowly pushing the life out of me
Everyday a new chance to leave it all
But I chose to endure and thrive
To break and earn my release from the chains that hold us down
Sink or swim we pick one everyday
I'm not Michael Phelps, but I sure do earn my gold everyday
I take a 9-iron to my problems everyday knock em out the park
Never a straight shot or a hole in one
Always a challenge not so much fun
We have our moment with the hand that feeds us
Let's hope it's not more than we can chew

Dreams are made of what you most desire and fear
Reality is made of what is here and what you make of it

So what kind of life do we fear and desire all at the same time to live?
Their dream come true
Even the most perfect of all dreams will have holes poked in them
You can't see it because you cannot accept your dreams reality

We want to live the high life but we couldn't dream that big from a realistic view
The life we want can be taken if and only if you reach for it

Idle hands gather dust and ******* while others exercise their rights
No one can stop you unless you allow your eyes to be deceived

Turns you inside out
Do you feel every emotion
Let it control you

Ignored by the ones you love, I feel so cold
This game we play is getting old
When you're the one I want to hold
Keepin distant from my heart is what I'm told
Falling in love you wouldn't chance it
Even though I'm a hopeless romantic
My time with you is sinking...titanic

Take a step, but look out below
I wanna know all the secrets trouble knows
I'll fill your head with lies and fairy tales
Just to see what I can get out of you
I know what I want, and what you want
To turn it into a personal game, to watch the lies build this foundation
Nothing to gain, to win, to lose
What I want stands here in a deep and heavy mist only true evil and sinners can penetrate
Misery may love company but evil just the same.
Take my hand, let me control you and what you feel
I fear these lies have caught up with me, like the underdog in their element
I bid you a farewell, but know I will be back.

I traded my kindness for weakness
Smiled when I felt an utter saddness
Lied to protect the ones I love
And still end up feeling empty
A misplaced urn of eternal emotion
Now I'm nothing more than a fire place decoration

I remember a distant memory of how the rain and I don't get along. I would sit there playing with my matchbox/hot wheels track rug. I didn't have much growing up in terms of kids to play with until k was in school. But everyday I would play in that rug at night and it was such an escape from reality, the current playing video games. I could immerse myself for hours coming up with different scenarios for each one of my cars, I had quite the collection. My imagination was the best thing I could have asked for growing up. It was all I had to get away from adults and to fill my time. I wasn't allowed to watch tv or play video games except on the weekends and even then like kids in the 90s I was told to hang outside until the street lights came on. I would always dread coming back inside. As a kid you should feel safe in your home.It would often rain as far back as I could remember. Inside I felt safe from the outside but inside was a different beast. I place I couldn't run from, I felt all alone with no one to protect me. I am at the mercy of the people I were surrounded by. I don't remember doing anything wrong yet always finding myself to be a product of my environment. Unsupervised I remember the days of growing up watching horror films at a young age. I vaguely remember how that affected me when I started going to school with more kids and being on the playground. I was always causing trouble at school, reenacting the scenes or words I've experienced in those movies. Always getting calls home and getting in trouble. I wish I knew any better but was never really told right from wrong, real or fake. I figured out most of life in my own, a very sheltered hermit of a child with little to know social skills. Even though most of these things were out of my control or understanding I was relentlessly punished. I could see the look in my mothers eye she never knew what to do with me, no one did. It was always an outside source chiming in and performing disciplinary action, that's what I thought it was, until I grew up. Cold showers and the rain. The       thought of rain  I've always loved the sound, but the taste and feel would always put me in discomfort. I would hold out my hand to catch the drops but they always worked against me. Each drop sending a painful memory to that which I've suppressed many years ago. On each cloudy and stormy night I pray each and every one of you have an umbrella.
To shield your eyes from having to see the sky weep. To protect you...but if you don't open your umbrella it would lie there idly at the mercy of distance and your reach, or the will to hide from which you were afraid.

I understand this may be a bit to process but rest assured I've grown stronger and smarter from these experiences
.
On the death bed of the man who did this to me he called me. He wanted nothing more than to come to terms with his death and his past mistakes. Never to hold a grudge or seek revenge, all is forgiven.

This could all be yours
Security and the wealth
Sell your soul to me let me make you
A creation and a product of hype
To your dismay an image in the mirror
You look and somebody else is there
Different eyes same clothes new hair
What is the worth of your life
I can push fast forward but there is no stop
Not until you're even higher than tr top
Tell me what you want tell me what you need
Your needs met, wants covered in smoke a dissolution, you're unable to breathe
This can all be yours but who are you after this?

No reply
Out of tries
I close my eyes

Everything seems to disappear when my eyes close
A place where only I know
What is real, and what can't be reality
A place where I only exist and no one can be mad at me

Through thick and thin, I'd still let you in...
No one knows me like you not even myself
It's like I were a book, and you took me off the shelf

But I hate you, how can I deny..
I can't stand the sight of your absence, why do I even try?

Hope, a funny thing you can't see or touch
But it gives you something a little, not much

Down the path we dare not choose
Heavily influenced drugs, *****
A sea bad decisions, treading
Not on, but with me, consciously

Just takes the voices of reason, with many reasons
Do it, try it, I'll do it too
Fingers crossed, unable to look back
Your heart races, unsure reaction
Now you can look back, but it's all gone
What you once saw, is now a thing of the past
The innocent can never last

I wonder the road you're traveling my friend
Are you having fun I wonder
That's all I want out of life
Will you persist on this path of self destruction?
I've often been told you can't save everyone
Maybe I've seen too much Superman in my days
I've thrown you my hand a couple of ways
You're the drain they warned me about
Put it all in like a wishing well
It's not real but you do it anyway
Pernicious your actions but you don't give two *****
A mind filled with disarray but you seem conscious
The fun we had was unforgettable, it's haunting every time
To know you're on that same kick, memory, and line
We could have been best friend hell we were
A parasite inside you yearning to take over, has it always been in control?
Are you even still home, I really want to know...

Oh how I want to shine so bright
I've never been the one in the spotlight
Honestly, I don't think that's a place to be
A lot of people only see me as me

No one double takes but sighs saying they've seen it before
like we're all just humans and nothing more
Waiting to have the light shed on them just like a star
Just not for the things they've accomplished so far

No one cares about the things that we undergo that how it goes
But now they listen when we are fake and got on all these fancy clothes

Always on the come up, never have time to come down
One day I swear I'll leave this town and that's the truth
To be honest I only stayed for the youth

I wanted to make sure their dreams were bigger than mine
Fighting this creative suppression one child at a time
Kids have no say in almost anything and that should be a crime

I've seen quite a few young stars that never got their turn
While teachers watched and let them burn

I want to bring the fire, and it won't be ignored
I'm living proof that my pen has always been mightier than my sword

I've wielded both in many different ways
and not once did I ever expect some praise

All I've ever wanted was a little attention did I mention
During my childhood years, I've faced more than one detention
Hell, even a suspension or two I'm not saying I'm proud

I was quite loud but not obnoxious never had good grades
I'm not boasting, but just asking you if you want to see the stars
You're going to have to take off those darkened shades

Don’t you wish this feeling could last forever? You know, that feeling you get when things are going good, smooth sailing not a wave in the water to rock the boat. That smile that you want to just hide but you can’t? The feeling of accomplishment because today was just so fantastic you want the feeling to last a lifetime. It’s the feeling. What we strive for from beginning to end it’s all we ever wanted. But why do we encounter it less as we grow older? Do we grow out of feelings like we do our own clothes? One day we are at the peak of Everest the next it’s like we are looking for Atlantis. Sometimes it’s just nowhere to be found, other times it’s hidden in plain sight. We trade what we know and what we have to get a little taste of it. Whether temporary or impermanent we stop at nothing. Forever fades and loses its meaning physically and creates a whole new one for itself because of we; the people. Like a tv show on our favorite network it’s there only for so long then made into copies to be preserved in time, so why can’t we do that? Capture what little happiness we can obtain in a jar and save it for a rainy day? It would be too easy, everyone would do it, might even try to steal each other’s. Is our world sick now? Will we ever find a remedy for this ailment we create ourselves because of addictions and niches? How far will we go to be better than everyone at something that virtually has no meaning? What’s going to happen if we can’t be the best at our little something, ****? Nothing seems to add up anymore and I’m sick of it, I hate math. Unless we divide and conquer I think I’m outta here. World peace can never happen until we are all at peace within our own society.

What war are you waiting for?
Building up your walls to prevent me from storming them
Have a torture chamber ready for the first to care
Guns ready to shoot off in defense against your weakness
Moats to be filled by your tears over the years
Let down your gate and let me walk in
I promise to turn this castle of emotion
Into a warm beach with a view of the ocean

I walked, yea it took a while
What did I see you ask?
Unbelievable things to say the least
A blind man who told me my flaws are clearly visible
A deaf woman who could hear my cries for help
Contradictory? Hardly.

I've seen the labor I put into my life slowly off
My choices sometimes less than my expectations
Never settle for less than your best

Nothing could hold me back (No thing)
If you can be yourself, then you can be anyone.
What would you be?
Would you be?
Can you see what I am saying?
Can you hear what I am showing you?

How do we reach the end if we are always running away
Scared to death scared to look scared to say
Anything and everything become so mute
Misunderstandings and turning up that's not cute
Running around entertaining yourself for the night
Waking up in the morning to start thinking will I be alright?
The mirror lies while you spit the truth
What's happened next on top of this roof?

It's all fun and games till someone gets hurt
That explains this distance between you and I
My eyes could never leave your side
But besides that I was all yours
Enamured like a high school love
Make me sick to the core to know you're a..twisted person with selfish intentions
Intervention I thought we knew what it meant to be happy and I couldn't see a future without you
Now you're something I need to fix, a loose *****

When I look at you my hearts turns to air
Compress my chest while I play with your hair
Let those eyes be your voice and my hands will lead the way
Will you play this game of charades through the night?
Oxygen lacking I need to hold you tight
Swapping tongues to fill each others lungs
A sensual dance where we can never be wrong
Background noises from ourselves create a song
Compassion and love with a hint of sin
Intertwining hands, limbs and more
Pretending our hearts were aching and this is our chance
Mend it like no other you know the dance
Shuffling feet mesmeric trance
As if we already knew where to go

Days go on and I just drone out
Zone out thinking what am I going to do about
This life I'm leading and this air I'm breathing
Which is better? Which is worse?
sometimes I feel cursed
To let history repeat itself until I end up in a hearse
Sometime you're not going to be able to blame someone else until all that's left is your own doing
Ask yourself when did you stop pursuing?
Those wild dreams and adventures you talked so vividly about?
You only fail, when you quit!
Success is inevitable so let me tell you quick
Take both hands and get a grip
Because it's your life to live and you're stuck with it

Time scars all with the wounds they were said to heal
Sure the marks not visible, but the pain is ever so real
Staring at the hands that mend my fate
Circadian rythum thrown off is it too early or too late?
Half or a quater of my past an electrical impulse away
Memories faded by time but the pain is here to stay
The smell of your clothes, a nostalgic aroma
Time heals all wounds as these scars get older

What is it?
That's makes my relevance so easily detachable?
One day I'm the toast of the town, and the next, vacancy, a LOT of disappointment
When I want to grasp I sense the grip of my efforts slipping from my almost ghost like fingers
I breathe but you think I'm suffocating, not only myself but you in the process
Hello, Hi, Hey... I've got the message

What we want and need
We differently perceive

I want you, but you don't need me
Hardly even want, cold reality
But giving up is not my mentality

Finishing what I started, quit not in my vocabulary
Persistence and commitment it's what I do
For the things that I do are not for you
For you it's a show and for me it's a game
To play it well for me, just to get you? What a shame.

What we need we cast aside for menial possessions
When wanting possesses us we lose our directions
Too stubborn to stop and ask on the road
I wish I could welcome you to my humble abode

Ever think we all started our lives too early or too late?
Looking at a pen and paper with nothing written
Always feeling like there is something missing..

If I only knew what I know now they say
As you get older the world doesn't become kind
It has you wishing you had a little bit more time

It's my poison plain as day
Toxic eyes, mind corrosive with thoughts
X-ray vision, still so much unseen
A lead wall called emotion bypass radiation
A sirens voice angelic deception
Lead me to peril I've been there before
In search for my Golden Fleece
Jason and the Argonauts comfort me
A ship sailed aimless as the quest
For the hand that feeds has taken its toll
Still waters boil my blood
Waves in my veins to feel
This endless adventure
My life's ordeal

You're attention span I could measure using my arms
But I'd rather use them to keep you from running
Into the arms of another

You love me when I'm gone
But when I'm near it turns to a game
One I've never been good at but still play

When my efforts lessen, you seem to notice
You want to be a part of the distance
But never the circumference, that is me

A game of tag, after 10 minutes
the more I try
the more you want nothing to do with it

Inevitably, *me

Feel the beat and never stop
Beat your feet until you drop
Drop what you're doing and come with me
With me I'll show you a world you've yet to see
See if you can look away
Away from reality, you've come to play
Play the song that will make me move
Move with me indulge the sweat
Sweat will make you more comfortable better yet
Yet is when you will have had enough
Enough to be had fill your satisfaction
Satisfaction, until I can get my..
My satisfaction creates the mood for the night
Turn up the music child, it'll be alright

Wake up like what happened
In a bed next to your friend
Thursday night feeling more like the weekend
But that's old new what's right with today
Waking up with regret like the rent you'll never be able to pay
All because you set out on a journey to make her your bae
I hate that word, the bane of our language
So easily manipulating words to create another's anguish
I thought it was bad enough when random white girls tried to learn Spanish
From all this Reggaeton and fast living and not caring what you're hearing
All I want to do is love, but you all lost that capability and feeling...
The story doesn't end just because it's my last rhyme you got time sit down and let me give you some of mine
Let me tell you what this is really about
Y'all calling people thirsty when there's a drought
I don't understand this assimilation are you seeking it out?
They say just be you, and that's scarcity nowadays
Finding who you are is a **** maze that nobody wants to navigate

Empty promises
Nothing more than words to give
When it's your time I want
But like time itself it waits for no one, and neither do you

Full of false hope like filling an empty glass with air
Nothing to show for only excuses that echo and repeat themselves
Like history, but to a lesser extent and lesser importance

I've been done for a while
unconsciously fighting a battle I cannot win but will not lose

Rough day, time to go home
To a place I like to call home
I like to call it home
Nice quiet place in the suburbs
Not much to it, but it works
few chairs, a couch in the living room
enough room for living I must say
the bedroom, the bedroom
Where I like to lay my hat
Where I like to call it a day
Where I like to start my night
I see you, and my heart races, still
I see you at the end of the day like a prize
I see your smile worth a million bucks in my eyes
where we can talk and lose track of time
Where I can come home and make you mine
We talk, we laugh, we fight, make up
We sleep, make love, wake up
To see you when I wake up is a test
I want to pass so I try harder than my best

what's in between the rags and the riches
the word two you gotta have two times the grind to go from rags to riches
if you dont believe in your rags then the riches never come
the man in the rags wants riches hes ambitious
getting by means even if thats washing dishes from ramen to what ever is delicious
time is money but money is time like squares and the four corners are they always the same?
not enough milk and honey for the ride
some come from rich and some from raggedy and tragedy
should have kept your rags kid*
comfortable with what you got maybe that's riches
money power and respect which is missed
looking for the recognition but never the success of the mission
A book, like many of a series tells a story
A boy/girl who had nothing going for him all of a sudden an opportunity is presented and you either sink swim or like many of us float
you look at this opportunity but never take it or the initiative that it takes to get to what you want in life because you are comfortable where you are at in the sense that people already like your **** but you want them to love it go further than your friends go to strangers and have them give it a listen
imagine handing your life's story to someone you've never met and they just so happen to be someone who can add a whole chapter to it
Get out of your comfort zone and takes those rags tell them you demand the riches but show them why that's what it's all about
1 hit wonder or not someone saw more potential in you then yourself at one point and you need to take that with you all the way to the end of you because the beginning is only where it starts and how can you see the end if you're still right where you started they call it a journey for a reason it takes you everywhere you want to go and no where you don't hard times and situations are a different story but in the end you still create the vision you've seen since day one whether you like it or not that's not the plot and it sure as hell ain't about what you got it's about what you give how you working for it thinking about how you wanna live on the top of a mountain for all to see how the rags to riches story came to be and what happens when you think you've said it all you barely scratched the surface like history it will repeat itself so you can say it all and say nothing that someone hasn't already said you can just think about it differently and make others marvel over the fact that you took the time to get a bit deeper. it's always harder when you're closer to home able to reach but never to hold it's the matter of time and place not rhyme and race

"I don't know what I want to do with my life or for the rest of it." Ever catch yourself just thinking about the future and always missing the present ? I hate having to worry about so much, I kind of wish I was born in a Different time you know? Unfortunately that is not possible as of now, you have to deal with what comes your way and face it head on. You won't always like what you come across and that is okay. But what you will always remember about where you are or how you got there, regardless of if you like it or not, things can always change and get better. But to have this happen you have to acknowledge the fact that change won't always happen on its own. You are the change, people can change, anyone and anything can change. I guess what i want to get out to the world or even a small part of some place no one has even heard of is that your life is precious no matter what you think of it. Someone cares about you, "There is love burning to find you.." people in general care enough to help you out through hard times and bad. Don't ever think for a second you are alone for there will be always that one person who will always be there. It might not always be a lover but a friend, it may not always be a friend it can be an acquaintance, it might not always be an acquaintance but a stranger. No one is alone in this world, your future can be bright even if the sun isn't shining. Take things life and your time as carefully as possible never let the present pass you by as we are always heading to the future and can often miss what we hear and don't see. More than what we learn is on the outside of school, life itself is our teacher and our reason to have and share it with more people. I want to let you all inside my head to show you what my life has been like, its nothing out of the ordinary but very different from most. What I mean by that is I am sure each of us have had our fair share of hardships and bad days of course we all have. I just feel like I have set myself up more for it than most people have, I feel as though that is but I could be wrong. I decided to write this  not for just myself, but for other people who may feel the same way about life as i do. Many things in life will test every fiber of your being and you have to be strong enough to endure it. I think it's the little challenges that are the hardest part because all the little things add up to be bigger things so its better to watch out for them and take them head on one by one no matter how long it takes. I want to quote another artist here before you make the plunge into my mind. If I still have anyone's interest and it just impacted the way I view life really hard without this person even knowing they did. “ What ever you end up with in life is what you wanted to be.” Please take the time to hear me out maybe I can help you understand things a lot better than you do now, maybe I can make you laugh, who knows enjoy the writings I wrote out just for you in my poems.

You can't leave me, not like this
Call me selfish but your best friend is hurting you
Comfort from an inanimate poison
Self hate and self harm
So much charisma, your happiness exudes
Radiating your essence to make others envious

You can't leave me like *this

I'm up all night to have fun
Way late and passed the sun
For great times not just one
You want them too? come get some!

It's easy to do, and easy to make
Memories for old times sake
All the opportunities we could take
Our bounds grow stronger and harder to break

My life's been awake at night
I've always been afraid of the light
Now things are clear and everything's alright
No one can stop us without a fight!

In the light is when your existence came into my 3rd dimension
A starlight gleaming through a prism of perfect
Blinded by my own fear of all that is beautiful
Not the way you do you hair
Or the way you walk
It's the way you are and how you talk
Conversations moving like the hands on a clock
I lose track of myself
All because
I....

Nothing feels good anymore
Worn for what it's worth
Worthless wilting wondering
Wasted...

I've shook hands with those hell bound
I say cya later. I know I will
Hands on fire soul as black as night
The fire inside me burning like my new home
I been through hell and back when the heat is on
I fire back, where the good ones at?
This worlds come to a fiery end I tell them that

Which path are we destined for
Life's choices are not always voluntary
Outcomes are our decisions

There is nothing I can say that hasn't been said
Just a different way of making you see the bigger picture in your head
The imagery is more vibrant and memorable
Something held closer to your heart to spark the love you still hold inside
For those who have maid you wheep and cry
whether it was girls or a guys
The realest feelings are the ones coming from your eyes  
In disguise
Covered by a smile to no ones surprise

they look but can't see
What's in front of you or in front of me
rantalized by a tiny screen
Dubbed the attention Sapper known as technology
A decline in communication and people skills
Conversations through texts and giggles
A virtual wall, phone in the middle
Socially awkward meet ups and and time to ****
It's crazy how we have all this time to chill
We refuse to acknowledge and say we're alone
When we are always connected by Internet and phones
Just remember those friends who reach out to try and keep you around
Maybe next time they offer a hand it won't be like litter tossed in the ground
Because a friend to all is a friend to none
Some of us don't have any friends or even just one
So if a stranger were to come out of the blue
Just remember how it started between Me and you  
New to each other's world with everything to hide
Nervous and full of stress
In today's world it could all change with a simple friend request
This world isn't anti social just foreign to the norm

Is there such a thing as perfect?
If not why is it there?
What could be perfect today, suddenly flawed tomorrow

Looking up at the sky, what a perfect view
Now that it's raining I can't seem to see you

Clouds, little pillows of milky white
Paint the sky's canvas but restarts everyday
Perfect sometimes? No such thing as perfect they say

Like your first love and first time
Perfection seems so simple
Within reach, visual view

Is perfect a myth or even a plot?
To keep us going, to make us distraught?
Perfect is never perfect even in it's own sense...

When you touch me with your love I become a poet
Nearly love struck, left in a dazed and confused state
I fell in love with you and you already knew it
Take me away
Away from reality
The grim and dark parts
I liked you better in my head
Covet turns to sin, time elapsed
I watched you change
Is it you I'm searching for?