Waiting for the train
Toes of my boots on the edge of the yellow line
Stand back from yelllow line
Reads a sign straight infront of me
I think about how quickly I could end everything
Steps a bit further
I take a deep breath
Tears welling up within my tired eyes
My breath comes out shaky
Shaking my head as I step away
Wiping away the tears that overflowed my scarlett eyelids

Glancing around, I wonder
Who would have saved me?

             I'm not to sure I would save me

'I have a girlfriend now'

Don’t react.
This is what you wanted.
This is what I wanted..?
This was what I wanted..
This was what I told him I wanted..
This was..
was this what I wanted?
It has to be
It is the only way I won’t scream
Or cry
Yes, this is what I wanted.

'She's pretty, congratulations'

they keep telling me
I am a coward
for not believing in
an ineffable presence
for turning down the offer
of an eternal life

they keep telling me
that I am hubristic;
who am I to believe
god does not exist?
that I was made of
nothing
at all?

but still I do not understand
for does it not take courage
to leave behind all
rudimentary assumptions?

is it not the opposite of
hubris
to proclaim that we are
not special
we are
just
like
the
animals
that walk this earth with us
living
breathing
dying

"It is true," she said.
"It is like drowning
Except you can see everyone else breathing."

Then it must also be true that everyone else can see you suffocating
Because it is like I am watching her dissolve before me
Trapped in her own deep well of misery

See, she tries to tread the waters
Tries to hold herself upright and proud
But the ones she does it for
Are the weights on her ankle dragging her down

So when she hold her breath under freeway tunnels
And dreams from night till day
I still can't tell if she's just waiting to resurface
Or wishing her life away

My dear, eyes that shine as bright as yours
Should never have to see the dark side of the moon
Hold onto your tears, broken angel
I swear it'll be over soon

I'll rescue you from this ****** abyss
That's left you eager for hell
I promise you're not crazy
You're just a little unwell.

When you’re too afraid to speak up,
Too scared to reveal the hidden
Emotions that haunt you day to day --
That’s when you know,
you know you’ve got to do something quickly.

You’ve kept it all in for too long,
Abuse, neglect, torture, and regret.
You’ve got a long life ahead of you,
But in your eyes, it seems you’ve reached the end.

The scars on your wrist,
the blood on your hands,
the tears in your eyes -- they all tell a story.

I can tell how much you’ve been through on the outside.

On the inside, I can’t help but only imagine
if you’re actually holding back the real motive.

I can tell that you long to die.

Before you decide to take that step,
I want you to close your eyes and imagine a world without you.

Imagine all the people who genuinely care about you.

What will happen if you decided to take your life?

Think about the people who love you.

Think about your friends, even relatives who seem not to care on the outside.

In the end, they’ll all feel the pain.

Your friends wouldn’t be the same,
Some would become distant.

Your family would be mourning the loss: especially the ones closest to you.

They’ll all change.

Not for the better,
But for the worst.

You can roll your eyes all you want.
I know I’m getting through you.

I know, deep inside, you’re listening to what I have to say.

My point is...
Despite all the bullying,
despite all the harassment,
despite the beatings...

You have people that care about you.

Put yourself in their shoes.
What would they do without you?

[please] dont grab her hand
and flash that silly smile
when shes sad
[stop] being someone elses thoughts
late at night
when they drift off into there dreams
while i am
plagued by the thought of you
you’re [forgetting] the way you
wrapped your arms around me
and held my head against your heart
when i was drowning in my own sorrow,
breaking.
the thought
of losing my only love
was tearing me apart
you’re killing [me]
when you look at me
with a lost light in your eyes
that i used to give you
im so sorry
i couldn’t love you
the way you should have been loved
im so sorry,
my only love