How can you tell a         burdened heart no?

How can you you tell someone you

love to let go?

How can you deny a person

that part of you that they long for ?

How can you not be viewed as a

monster ! When he won't let go!

     How can I spend so may days of

my life

trying to fix that which was broken

For every tear that fell, it was full of

sorrow

and the sobs were just a token

Allow me to hold out my hand to cup

your face

Allow me to wipe your tears with my hair

Allow me to kiss your cheek and hold

you close

so I can remember some semblance

of love there

You asked me if I even feel

Behind those cold calculating eyes

you had the right to accuse me

of being cold as steel

I can not love you the way you need me too

That's why I'm letting go

to hold you captive in this relationship

I can not endure  that no more    
 
Am I strong enough to accept the blame

of us not working out

am I strong enough to face you

without displaying doubt

Everything that we work so hard for

is now in the Wind 

I never was who you thought I was

your homie your lover or friend.

My demons are my demons

the one thing that I grapple with

are the disingenuous status of

my relationships

I never  did understand why

people just could not get over

the things

that hunt from the past

the nightmares the whining and

crying that just last and last.

Until one day the

pain crept  in

and seized my mind

I thought the pain would never end.

Thoughts of a child crying in the rain.

Waiting for her mom to come

back but she was not heard of again

the abandonment that I felt

the pains of hunger when there's nothing on the shelf

how I was passed from hand to hand

the mistake that my mom made

was in God's hand

each night I prayed

that the generations after

will never know the pain

That makes me numb

and temping to drive me insane

Writing is cathartic for there I

speak the truth

Awake and alarmed with my
passions and my youth

stories so vividly told

here and only here will I ever be so bold

The balm has worked

I will put the lid back on the jar

Remembering the pain but, now it's just a scar....

In the land of liars,
the honest man
must
be
crucified.

They say,  when the wicked rule the earth will mourn

I heard that a time or two

They put you in charge of watching me
But who is watching you

Like a judge, the fate of so many waits in your hands

The utensil in your arsenal are daggers to those around

Poisonous arrows in the body's that are found
    
Mercenaries with degrees.
Your spilling the beans

Friends secrets are the next  prostitution ring

Bankrupt in morals your cruelty never ends

Cold and calculating  to gain the upper hand

Do you expect us to treat you like Caesar

Because you wiled the power

Treat you with false respect , throw you lot's of flowers

I will say this again with no respect due

They put you in charge of watching me
But who is watching you