soiled.
here there everywhere.
regular like.
verb and noun,
he, both.
soiled, soiled.
verb, noun.

*****.
a stupid~sounding word.
say ***** *****
***** three times fast.

what is a sound of *****?
intimate.

what is the color of *****?
every color that leaves you,
or even begins you,
soiled, sullied, tainted.
sweaty.

the intimate man did not intimate.

his stains were visible.
no need for polite,
needless the charade,
of legitimizing intimacy,
there for all to see.

they were no longer
intimate.
he did not know why,
after awhile,
he didn't care.

pretended intimacy,
which was a ***** thing,
a stainless steel cutlery
kind of *****.
a reflection visible only to the
eye of the beholder.

cutlery was never clean,
soiled, after but one use,
think.
in the mouth, with the hands.

such intimacy,
that, they still shared.
an easy pretense.

terror.
terror is intimate
and *****.

lived in terror.
not constant which implies periodic spaces.
no breaks.
the terror soiled him,
you did not need even be intimate with me.

sweaty,
see, smell it.
taste it,
even better!

though the terror was deeply intimate,
in the skin embedded,
I told ya,
easy visible.
easy to avoid the intimacy of
terror.

clean, silky clean intimates,
changed regular,
changed nothing.

intimacy was a Cain mark.
his private, public.
his public, privy.

more?
more.

shame.
shame is intimate.

there are so many kinds too.
the shame of soiled.
the shame of disrespect,
the shame behind closed doors.
the shame of public humiliation.
the shame, the stink, of failure.
the shame we share in ways
we wish not speak of.
the shame of bad grammar,
shame leaves you soiled, *****.
terrified.

shame on you for having read so far.

but you can boast
you knew me when,
you knew me
intimately,
bad and well.

you knew
that you did not know
anything about me,
even though,
we had been
at least
this one time,
intimate.

who is soiled now?

adjusting for Daylight Savings Time,
time zones, seasons, global warming,
plotting the intersection optimal,
sleeping Asia
and down under
soon to early wake,
gurgling tremulations of brewing
coffee/tea/water pipes
turning here obsessively,
a mindful poetry fix to ennerve
morning stimulate

Europe, late, tired, hungover but
hanging about, hangover present,
pub stein draft eyeball crawling,
needful for goodnight eyelid kisses,
one last hit of tonguing words

the Americas, afternoon light,
watching sunsets & football,
discussing upon what to sup,
a cocktail of vermouth and words
to enhance the evening tide palate,
the finer pleasures in life
sequenced and combined

brings us to the question beggared
when to release,
your expiation of self
when be this perfect point in time,
your foolish vanity to please

post exactly when the
flushing heat of completion
forces the

Ooh's

from your mouthing lips,
rereading one last time,
knowing
an almost too be spent high,
an almost ****** of
verbal pleasure
needy for finality,
for that peeking, seeking
unknotting feeling,
when then
you press the
******* courage button called
Public

releasing a new sound guttural cri,

Aah's

of prideful indecent lovely exposure,
look at me, look at my gleeful thoughts
give me the post-****** tenderness,
the after kisses, fleeting reminders of
creation, absolution and death

most of you are too
innocent to understand,
too vain,
youthful self centered
to comprehend
that the time to
unravel, reveal, give it up,
make, take and
ask for love everlasting
is not a wall clocked
or a pre-calculated moment

but is the
moment of effervescent delight,
when you step back, away,
canvas gazing,
satisfaction yours

It's done.
That is the time to post.
no tarry, no wait,
when you have undressed yourself
are ashamed and ashamed not,
give it up, breathe, risk, dare,
fired up, in kiln cooling,
and
thereby, winning the won,
winnowing out your chaff,
be proud, not vain

when done right,
when you feast
on that best
self-administered pleasure,
your eyes cast upon
your work, your best,
go past the small place,
counting the quantifiable likes and reads,
that quantify nothing,
enjoy your smile silly, stupefied,
by the visible quality
of you,
now before and after you,
you see it, I see it,
now comes the understanding

you have already succeeded,
maximizing the finest in your life,
you have essayed,
you have assayed,
and found the vein,
mined the vein,
bring to the surface
your golden bloodied fleece
and that is
your max,
your time,
your perfection

run the hands over every
tissued cell,
race the tongue upon and under every
unsealed pore

linger, tarry,
only if you must,
here, there and where
you stop only to drink
my body's must...

lid to lobe,
crevice to mound,
uncover the obvious,
reveal the infinitesimal,
finite the desire,
end at the beginning,
fire up the cool hearth,
emblazon the shields ofordinary,
exit and enter
simultaneously

refill the apertures
with~not~my
peptones, enzymes, amino acids,
replenish my
well

then drain
well
the abscesses and repair
the wearable wounds ,
reminder remains
of prior contests,
won and lost

make me better
than well

know before,
realize afterwards
that ceasing,
never and always,
is an always never*

for this route
forever changing,
for your hands and tongue
redraw me
every time
they run the course

every time,
ever and when you
exit and enter
always and ever
simultaneous,
the course of
my flesh

still Sunday autumnal,
hymnal seasonal dark
at 700 am

the grand kids
going apple picking,
under parental supervision...

so the day looms small
with largely nothing,
nothing scheduled
according to Siri,
Goddess iPad
who loves all
in the same colorless voice
equally

poet quiet plays
with the pink plastic wristband,
his workplace awarded him
as a signature that
he was a
green donor
in a cause
that should not
even be anymore
a causal giving or taking,
but a once-upon-a-time,
just another busted,
another eradicated evil

rearranging the pillows
most quiet like,
the woman sleep slips,
exhausted from
prior eve's fierce exertion,
heroine worshipping
a fellow dancer artist extraordinaire
bidding her adieu
after three decades,
to standing adoration justified...

the yellow/whiteplaybill, ticket stubs,
just this once,
just this one,
will be preserved,
a bracelet
of achievement honorific terrific

(if his truth be revealed
this very last performance of 30 years
of creative perfection,
made this flat footed man
weep as well,
leading his mind
directly to composition)

thusly,
set the setting and the
variant,
nay,
the deviant lyrics
coming fast,
sleep sliding
from intangibles of
a waking mind
to pink resurrection,
as intangible electronic impulses
herein shared...

his recollecting,
deviant lyrics,
for they deviate
from the most tiring truth
that life is mostly drudge,
many defeats, few victories,
but they come with patience
and ****, hard work,
and a rainbow primal color
some call luck

so begins the deviant...

If pink is for breast cancer, what then...

*are the hues and tints of the
multiple myeloma invaders that
destroyed the soft marrow
of a poet's fathers bones,
a man so kind,
that all children who knew him,
honored him
walking slow behind his hearse,
so deserving of a longer life,
a far better, better end,
can you not see the tear grooves
his absence has gifted me as
his pink flesh colored-bracelet

what then,
are the shades,
or just the
color unique
of the slow dementia
that consumed
a woman, happenstance...his mother...
writer, art lover,
a verbal expressor,
a most in/appropriate disease,
robbing her of the
greatest human right
to articulate,
so I wear this poem
as her her gifted headband,
an inheritance
upon the poet's
pink proud forehead,
worn evermore

do I get a pin turned
ceremonially, right side up,
having made it this far?
will they take it away,
when I quit claim
this existence,
or if the poetry ceases...

and he wonders
when is the deviant course
the exact right one,
what color,
what instrument, what jewel
should he chose
for just opening his eyes,
on this,
his 23,378th day of existence

unable to sort
identify the days,
sign each one
with the color apropos,
how to mark rightly what matters,
how to signal that life tenuous,
is worth recording,
and giving quiet thanks
for the few colors and memories
and words,
the instrumental
symbols
that lyrically
variegate us each,
and let recall
our unique
deviations

~
touch~teach her eyelashes
with my index finger,
her toes ask why
they must, no choice,
curl,
my heart answers,
one, one, one

~~

The truths that sway
within my hands,
my body follows,
am music borne,
we each of us
sway differently,
because my hand traces,
my beloved's waist,
soon enough,
never soon enough,
we are
two, two, two

~~~

no no not religious,
but miracles observed
quite regular

two becomes one,
emerald melded,
a yellow blonde, how extraordinary,
his blue eyes, lately
gray flecked,
blue and yellow
combined make
emerald melded,
thus two becomes one,
one becomes
a recombinant color,
and new is now
three, three, three

three that rhymes
not with me,
or her,
but the three that rhymes
with me and thee
which makes
we,*
three, three, three, thee
for life