Older than dust

I made you a card

Then you went and smiled

As the pages came apart

I sat by myself

Drinking no beers

Watching Gibberish

Why am I here?

I thought we were

Just old news

Some stupour and daze

Made from lust and *****

Eyes across rooms

Sit down and talk to you

You lean over and whisper

"I love you too"

Something got to you

And I'm not frowning anymore

Something you knew

You didn't know before

I'm working slow but I'll get it done.
Just when you think the girl is gone,
her friends say differently, indifferently
did I react, because I finally passed the

overcoming of emotions. An abundance
of thoughts, gathering all together like
a forest gathers trees and a tree has leaves
like birds have feathers. It's a flood, where

every single drop counts and helps destroy
people's dreams, my dreams were fire where
your actions extinguished and put them out.

Fire is so overused, didn't understand, she thinks
I abused? Her friends think I was. I'm just as
naive as they are. I'm ok with drowning though.

You know what I'm tired of? Living in a society where we have to hide. That's all we ******* do and I think that those who swear they don't are faking too. Because look around, ask someone how they are, give a stranger a smile. What you're gonna receive back is called politeness. And that's fake as ****. My sister tells me that she doesn't always get why so many people ask me for advice because I'm so blunt with them and I tell her that's exactly why. People don't know it but we need to be called out. We need somebody who isn't gonna put up with our *******. Sure, I'll tell you if you're being over dramatic or when it's enough, but I'm also gonna give you a hug and let you cry it all out. I'm not gonna judge you for being human and I think people get and appreciate that. They want that. They want truth and bluntness and ******* realness, for god's sake. It gets so exhausting walking around with a smile on your face and bright eyes with unseen tears hidden behind them. Give it up. And see, here's the thing. I'm no better. I'm fake too. I hide behind this ****** facade every day and I don't want to. So I get it, I get why we pretend. And I'm not saying let's all stop immediately, because that's impossible, but let's at least recognize what we're doing. Let's at least let those close to us be real. That's a step. It's a step. Take it.

I watched him read
my little blurbs
no doubt seeing
whispers of his fingers
tracing its lines.

'it's not the
best thing
I've ever
written,'
I said.

Her name is Leigh
And she sleeps inside of me
I've made up lies to tell her
To get her to fall back asleep
She has a tendency to wake up
In the middle of the night
Screaming for me to join her
She's always been afraid
Of monsters under her bed.
I've learned sick lullabies to sing
Her back into hibernation
And now they are telling me
I can't sing anymore
They are trying to rip
Out my vocal chords
And Leigh just sits there
Crying her eyes out
Because she's afraid of the dark
And my skin keeps her away
From the sun
So maybe instead of singing
I will rip open my skin
Like they want to rip out my vocal chords
So she can see the light.

The piercing sound of her cry
Is what keeps me up at night
And I'm tired of losing sleep
So maybe I will try and stop singing
To her those sick little songs
But she has to stop crying
She won't stop.

I can't get her to stop.

Please make her to stop.

I've run out of sleeping pills
And there aren't enough lights
Turned on in my bedroom
To get her to stop screaming.
She's always been afraid of the dark.

She won't stop crying.

I think she has learned that
The darkness she is afraid of
Comes from inside of me.
And the darkness that blooms inside me

Is there because I can't get any sleep.

"I figured it out long ago
The dark is nothing to be afraid of
I want you to join me
So no more sleeping and
No more singing
Just rip open your skin again
Because I want the darkness out
I want you to see what I see
It's not scary.
It's glorious.
I don't want to stop crying."
*-Sincerely, Leigh