out of a clear sky
the lightning strikes
and cuts m
e in half

the human touch
brings warmth
but the thing is
it might also
burn

the creative mind
sees
                                                           s                  o
                h                               n            c      t
t          e                      c         o             n            n                                                      
                                                            e     i

they say
that you'll drown
in the blue eyes
they say
that you'll get lost
in the green eyes
and they say
that you'll be suffocated
in the brown eyes

but my dear
you might also
swim
in the cleanest sea
you might also
breath
the purest air
and you might also
find
a hidden treasure

i ask myself
- was it hard?
and i answer
- of course

but what was worse
was forgetting your
voice

in my veins
there is sunshine
and i don't know
it it's because i'm supposed to be the
light
or if it's because i had none

death is normal
death is inevitable

it's the way death happens
we won't accept

i fell into a deep grey void
and i can't get out
there's no sky
nothing but emptiness here
but i can sense the other side
so i scrath the walls until my nails bleed
red
i'll never reach the colours outside
so i'll settle for the red blood that's appearing
in my attempt of trying

the word "love"
does not exist
in the dictionary
that is me

i want to feel
i want to feel it all
but i dont feel
i kind of fall
but not into love
i fall into a void
of self pity and hate

i cry every year on my birthday
you couldn't be there to keep traditions
so i made my own

i expect too much of
myself
and of
others

pretty petty you
you don't have to be
a certain way
and you don't have to live
a certain way

so why
why do you expect it from
others?

my gateway
is a sad song
and a single tear

afters years of being trapped
in that small one bedroom apartment
- with closed windows,
and closed curtains
she finally opened up
and the air that had gone toxic
came pouring out

maybe you
and i just were
n’t meant
to last
a friendship i
s a two way thing

maybe you forgot

i aspire to be
a breaker of
standards and norms,
expectations and obligations
so that you can live
in peace and quiet
in harmony and happiness
but to do so
i must first
break my own

still to this day
when i am unbothered
my mind strolls
to a single thought of
you

your suicide
though far away
and close
at the same time
was just a burden
my young heart couldn’t bear
you had no intention
probably didn’t even spare me a thought
but by killing yourself
you started a long and brutal ******
on my
childhood

it’s all the same stories
hidden under different
colours,
languages,
and intentions

to me
new beginnings are just
old habits

like the writing on the walls
you inspire me
endlessly,
timelessly,
the mind works in a wonderful way
who else has thought this thought
while seeing that writing, or
while seeing your face

i felt misplaced on this earth
and then i found home
in your heartbeat

my poetry has suddenly changed from
dark and depressing
to
cheerful and happy
no difference has been made
except for you