you.
are.
enough.

sometimes loving someone hurts more than losing them.
let go.

You leave me gasping for air, gripping at the teathered ropes that lead behind you.
I fell into your trap just as you wanted me to.
I fell for you and into your love.
Your air restricting love.
But its all worth it for you my dear

the feeling of hopelessness has riddled my bones.
theyre shaking.
i cant stop.
im hopeless.
im in u t t e r
silence.
and
i
am
helpless.
and
i
am
hopeless.

and sadly i am
n o t h i n g.

we are roses.
time passes and we grow, adding on petal after petal.
thorns cut through us and we wither away.
yet we are roses.
slowly growing into something so beautiful people cant avert their eyes.
the thorns dull and the petals bloom.
because we are simply roses.
blooming in the moonlight and,
we are beautiful.

let’s run away to a faraway land where train tracks meet the stars
where flowers bloom in the moonlight
where trees are evergreen
where the skyline is painted pink and yellow.
let’s run away.
let’s leave behind this world full of forced smiles and fake laughs,
let’s leave the world that’s polluted with corrupt governments and unlawful laws.
let’s run away.
a place we can be free.
to be you and me.

i can’t forgive what you did
but i miss you so much it hurts

i can feel myself leaving you,
piece by piece i stray further.
i dont want to lose you but i dont know how to keep you,
safe and healthy in these arms of mine.
but im trying, im trying to fix everything.
im sorry i made your home feel unsafe.
im putting in more security cameras to help.

i thought i saw you standing there, in my room.
but when i turned on my light it was just a chair with a jacket thrown over.

what can i do
when one half of me is torn from my side
separated from my being
walking along the halls without me by their side

i have wished upon many shooting stars in my lifetime
waiting for the proper one to come.
i wished and wished until i fell upon you,
the most brilliant star in my little galaxy.
but like all shooting stars, many people wished upon you as well
and fell captive to your wondering gaze.
if only i was a shooting star,
then maybe youll wish upon me.

i need to take a shower,
but it burns.
water slowly seeps into self administered war wounds,
and my mind goes foggy.
i grip my arms and squeak in pain.
im tired of causing myself pain but i just cant get enough
of those perfect little papercuts.

you always told me to never apologize for silly things, that I didn't need too.
but what am I supposed to do, when Im laying breathless on my bathroom floor, and all you want is an apology for something I never did.
I think that's quite silly.

theres a certain simplicity about us that gives me pink and purple butterflies.
the way you can write about me in vivid colors, when the world around you is in black and white.
they way you fight battles for me, against yourself and me.
the simple way our hands fold together, or the way your last name fits perfectly with my first.
we're simple, intertwined by a simple red string at the tips of our fingers.
to help us home,
to the end of time.

im simply a flower in a childrens book.

people pick off my petals to find out if their one true love
.... loves them not.

im simply a flower,
with brightly colored petals that can drift on a summer breeze.

simply i wither in the cold winter months,
becoming prone to the monsters that hide under my bed.

im simply a flower,
delicate and pretty yet when you look at me long enough you can see the rough dented ridges.

im simply your flower, so take care of me. im oh so delicate,
i hope you can see.

dont pick off my petals to know if i love you, just know that i grow under the moonlight of your love.

so youll never need to know by ripping me apart,
just know ill plant seeds in your heart.

ill sit in the living room and watch the clock tick.
ill sink further and further into the plush of the couch,
waiting.
all good things come with time
and you are one of those things.
ill watch the seconds, hours, days, weeks, months, even years
tick by.
my smile will never fade, my hands will never fidget, my eyes will never falter.
i will wait for you,
for as long as you need me to.
you are worth the time and the effort.

i want to touch the bluest of skies.
i want to sink my feet into the deepest earth.
i want to soak in the bluest of oceans.
i want to taste the sweetest of foods.
i want to hear the most beautiful of melodies.
so lets go on an adventure.
i want to feel so big
yet
so
small.
as long as its with you.

this ongoing solitude of mine
is how i silently whisper into the breeze that i miss you.

the blade sat,
buried in her moon white skin.
rivers ran, gushing their flow down the cracks and imperfections in her arms.
she sat,
the blade buried into her and with a sigh she said
"ill see you soon my love"

my knees are bloodied
my eyes are sore
my throat is raw.
im tired of begging
pleading
allowing you to drag me along
just tell me what i am
what
am
i

what
am
i

your soul is my home,
and id spend forever being homesick if it meant i found you.

ill stand in the middle of the road and scream your name at passing cars.
ill climb the highest of mountains to find you again.
my soul string belongs to you.
whyd you cut yours.

soft breathes and unspoken agreements.
a forbidden call to the stars,
a plea to bring back what once was.

I long to get lost in the constellations in your eyes
let me drown away my sorrows in the Milky Way.
for once I'm in those beautiful constellations,
I get lost in you.
all because of star gazing into those breathtaking eyes.

we laid in my bed until the early hours of the morning,
tracing the constellations of our love on to my ceiling.
but now i sit, staring endlessly at a ceiling full of constellations,
and no one to trace them with.

i want to be the only star in your night sky,
but im just not.

I can still feel the way your eyes burnt into me.
the way your lips traced every curve of my body.
the way you held me.
I can still feel you, and your presence
but to you I'm a stranger, and nothing more than that.
a stranger that once kissed you with ever ounce of passion they had.
a stranger that spent hours, days, months, years even, studying ever scar, ever mark, every way your body moved.
but of course, strangers do that.
I'm just the stranger that walks around with your deepest secrets.

when i look at the trees i think of you,
how are you not reminded

you left me surrounded.
surrounded by the lies you filled my pretty little head with.
surrounded by broken promises you swore to keep.
surrounded by the harsh words you played off as love.
i’m surrounded, yet i still apologized.
i still think you’re good..

sometimes i think about the emptiness of my bed,
and imagine you laying there.
breath steady and even, your arm draped around me.
i imagine your shoes by the front door.  
thrown next to mine, probably in a hurry to sit down.
i imagine your glasses next to the kitchen sink
as we do dishes together and laugh about the water splashing up at us.
i imagine your clothes in my hamper, and mine in yours.
i imagine your books mixed into my book shelves, and your dvds laid next to mine.
i imagine a life that may never be,
a life with you still in it.
a beautiful life, filled with the softest of dreams.

sign your name under the terms and conditions of my heart,
so that when you break it youll have to pick up every piece,
and heal me once again.

The day before last I dreamt of you.
My hands in your hair while a movie played.
I realized It was a dream when I woke up,
And realized youd never want me.

and tonight i’ll ache.
for no particular reason or amount of time.
i’ll stare at the tree, clad in the soft yellow glow of christmas lights, and i’ll ache.
i’ll ache for a time i was filled with childish wishes.
for a time i would wake up earlier than dawn to open up colorfully wrapped boxes and bags.
i’ll ache for the christmas spirit of times past.
i’ll ache for me.
for a version so far gone, i can barely remember her face.

i can feel time slowly drifting away.
these little moments that i watch through cracked pavement and try to grasp like weeds on the summer sidewalk.
these memories are supposed to be the highlight of my formative years, yet they filter through my fingertips and leave remnants of a life not lived in my palms.
was i supposed to follow this path?
is this what im supposed to be?