ill forever have a piece of you, and you'll forever have a piece of me.




*******br>

sometimes i fade away into empty bottles of ***,
and unsmoked cigarettes.
instead of fading away into your arms.
i find this quite sad

don't let me fade away.
don't let my crimson waters flood out of me.
don't let my lungs take in the forbidden words filled with water.
don't let my heart beat for my mind.
don't let me fade away.
and if I do, don't forget me.
promise?

the person youre in love with is supposed to make the world more colorful,
but what are you supposed to do when youre colorblind

i can feel my body going limp,
my sight going foggy,
im getting colder.
my head is throbbing and my hands are shaking.
its so loud, im so tired.
its only 8:53

i never thought someones breathing patterns would become music to my ears.
i never thought not hearing someones voice would put me in physical pain.
i never thought i would admire someone like i once admired the moon.
but ya know,
there came you.

s
o
  m
    e
     t
      i
       m
         e
           s
p
e
  o
    p
     l
      e
c
  h
   a
    n
     g
       e

im
     sorry.

i wish i coped with my anxiety in other ways.

the sky will one day lose its blue
the stars will one day fail to shine
the fireflies that litter the summer night skies will one day lose their fire
the sun will fail to burn
the earth will fail to turn
the moon will fail to reflect the suns dying glow
but I will love you, even after the sky falls

please dont fall apart.
dont allow the rage inside you break your own bones.
dont let the sadness carve ravines in your moonlit skin.
dont allow the jealousy run through your veins.
please dont fall apart
please...

her heart was like blown glass, sensitive and nimble.
she was hard to let pass.
she sat in your dreams swinging her feet, you always thought she was so sweet.
the heart of this girl so beautiful and true, would sing soft melodies to me and you.
it bumped and it thumped to the rhythm within, matching with yours. you were at a win.
the girl made of blown glass was vigilant of her heart, but only with you.
she was afraid of the new and you were too, so you protected her greatly.
her glass heart too.
but the harder you held the more she began to crack.

crack
crack
crash.

you sat with your love in bleeding hands, wondering why the girl of glass loved you.
but you loved her too, with every piece of newly hardened glass that she left with you.

when i feel the earth caving in i write.
i write about the earthy smell,
the way the roots twist and tangle,
i write about the way the rain falls horizontally.
i write about the way mother nature weeps,
the way her beautifully broken tears fall in puddles all around.
i write about the sky, and the clouds. the stars even.
i write about nature cause its all i know.
and i know nature will never change its earthy glow.

my demons are screaming i think they might win
my heads under water and i cannot swim.
theres weights at my wrist, a buzz in my ears, my eyes are going hazy my limbs are going limp.

my actions are now dire for the sake of myself
"mom i need help"
i force out my mouth like a bullet from hell.
"honey youre okay. youre gonna be fine"
those words hit my heart like a bunch of knives"
"okay, thanks mom. i love you"
i say, whisking away the blank expression on my face.

but heres one thing i just couldnt say.

my demons are screaming i think they might win
my breathes are short like october wind.
they have become people, violent and strong.
putting weights on my shoulders so i must play along.

ive kicked them off once, but they keep coming back.
they have become real things and theres no turning back.
they hold my sparks in the palm of their hands,
i sometimes wonder if ill ever see it again.

my demons are screaming i think that they've won.
my spark has gone out,
and im totally numb.

you fell for the sun. and all its warmth, its beaming light. its color.

but my darling i was the moon. i was cold. i was dark.

and i wasnt what you wanted.

even though i told you to never look at the sun, you still did. and it burned your eyes.

yet here i was, soft and mellow, ready to tend to your wounds.

but once again you looked.

though i provided you with sunglasses this time.

i went months with the constant dispense of my addiction for you.
and now i get to suffer the blood rotting withdrawals.  
and i know we both agreed on this, but
when i look at you i see constellations.
i see ocean waves gone rouge.
i see mighty trees and blanket thick forests.
i know we both agreed on this, but
when i hear you i get butterflies in my stomach.
i hear swigs of whiskey.
i hear a sweet southern drawl like nothing ive heard before.
i hear the hums of an electric bass amp.
i know we both agreed on this, but
i need you.
like the earth needs the moon,
like space needs the stars,
like guitars need their strings.
i need you the way you need pokemon cards.
god i just,,
dont give up on me..

so maybe i'm stupid, or maybe i'm dumb, but i'm starting to think maybe you like that i'm numb